Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've always been bisexual, though I don't like that word. It's too limiting, suggesting that there are only men and women. Yet some of the most attractive people I've ever seen were people who I could not tell if they were men or women. So, perhaps pansexual is closer to describing my affectional orientation.

Before HRT, the men I found attractive were usually effeminate and slender. Two months into HRT, I see that changing. I saw a man on the bus the other day who was the broad-shouldered very masculine looking type of man and I thought Oh My Gods, is he cute. Then, I tried not to stare at him as earlier in the same bus ride I'd been stared at by a creepy looking guy.

I should note that I was on the bus as David, my default presentation as I'm not full time yet.

I've also noticed that while I still find women attractive, I'm finding that changing, too. Women who I would have considered unattractive before HRT I now find attractive.

How has your attraction to women changed?

Are the ones that you used to find unattractive the more feminine ones?

I usually wasn't attracted to older butch-looking women, and now I'm finding that I am.

Cool.

I wonder if I transition how my sexuality will change.

I know there have been a few similar threads. But to re-iterate (gay) guys would often ask me out before I started to transition and I never knew why. I wasn't attracted to them, but I was and am polite.

But since being on HRT I'm gazing at guys like a 14 year old love dove. Sicking  ::).

I have to admit that I'm now very turned on by guys and I have no idea why because most I don't like. But they have something and I want it. Stupid. Damned hormones, LOVE them.

Cindy 

I haven't even started on HRT yet (next month!), but a few months ago (once I fully let my gender identity wake up) I began noticing exactly the same things you are in relation to men - getting the hots for plumbers seems to be my thing at the moment :). And I'm very attracted to dykes - but then I always have been, it's just that now I've got some hope of eventually getting somewhere with them ;D.

I have found it a wonderful process, and sorry if I hijack the thread for a few minutes. I lived my teen years knowing full well I was female but unable to do anything about it. I also looked feminine. without any effort, and I made no effort to look masculine. These where the days that being gay meant impersonating Fred Astaire (not quite :laugh: :laugh:).

I worked in pubs etc and was always treated as homosexual and I wasn't. I'm quite physically small so telling guys off has never been an option until later when I learned to be extremely violent.

So many encounters, so many chances, but I liked girls.

Then I started HRT, miss 40 years here, and suddenly I liked girls to talk to, to be friends with, I have seen more naked female flesh in the last year than ever before. none of which turned me on.

I'm looking at guys. Most are ugly and dirty and smell. But some are ugly gorgeous and don't smell. Or do,  but in an interesting way. I want to be with them, and have them hold me, and talk to me. and I'm lonely.

What's changed?
Not sure

Cindy

Cindy,
what you relate seems pretty much my own story.
I guess it may be explained in more then one way --- but then SO WHAT?!

Though not passing 101% I think some guys get plain scared, don't quite know how to deal with that. Maybe being attracted but not quite sure TO WHAT exactly?

Also, on principle (and by nature) I'm not a natural walk-over like lots of females my age, given the different socialization? Tend to ask questions, friendly, but not quite in general girly repertoire.

So, I may easily come across a butch, dressed femme, dyke.
To boot, if word got around before hand, say to the plumber, by a mutual male acquaintance, I be a butch femme-trans-dyke?
Hey, now THAT be plenty enough get most normal dudes head in a spin. YMMV

Axelle

To be honest, it may just be that you're getting older; as we get older, the stress of not having a partner can cause a person to "see" positives in new people that they may not have seen before. For example, the reason you may have found the big brawny guy as attractive is that, say you're not in a financially secure place, you may have subconciously thought that he seemed like the type of bread-winner man who could get you out of that situation. It may be much less that he was actually cute, or he may have had one or two cute features that allowed him more accessibility in your eyes. And of coarse, hormones may be playing a small part; there's tons of science behind what women find attractive depending on what their hormone levels and aging stages are.

But, I am in a financially secure place. So that might not be the best analogy.

The idea that my attractions are changing with age is an interesting one, though.

Well, I'm still youngish (28), and definitely have seen a shift in the past 5 months. Before I started I considered myself bi (though never dated girls, I could still be attracted to them)... But slowly that seems to have gone away (though, I'm still curious about girls, i just don't feel much around them). In addition to that I am eyeing guys more often (which is making me a little less comfortable around them).

So, I doubt it is just an age thing :P

Upon transitioning, I went through a badly needed correction.  Though attracted to guys, I only ever dated girls to make my dysphoric feelings go away (that worked out SO well, eh?).  And I couldn't be with a guy as a guy because I wasn't a guy inside and I wasn't attracted to gay men.  Anybody who saw me as a man frustrated me.  I wasn't the man in any of my relationships with women either.

So once I accepted my inner self and brought her out into the world, I found that I'm now freely able to enjoy the sheer lusciousness of the male species. ;D

I got the phrase "affectional orientation" from my soon-to-be-ex-wife. I like it because it encompasses more than just sexual orientation. It goes farther than that.

Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 18, 2011, 11:18:46 PM
Upon transitioning, I went through a badly needed correction.  Though attracted to guys, I only ever dated girls to make my dysphoric feelings go away (that worked out SO well, eh?).  And I couldn't be with a guy as a guy because I wasn't a guy inside and I wasn't attracted to gay men.  Anybody who saw me as a man frustrated me.  I wasn't the man in any of my relationships with women either.

So once I accepted my inner self and brought her out into the world, I found that I'm now freely able to enjoy the sheer lusciousness of the male species. ;D

That's a pretty good description of my experience. I had one relationship with a girl when I was 16, it lasted 3 years and had so many problems that now, 8 years later, I'm still recovering. But that aside...

It was before HRT that I knew I was into guys, but HRT did change my preference in the type of men I was interested in. Actually, before HRT I wouldn't even say I had a specific type of guy I was mainly attracted to, but after HRT it's like I can't stop noticing more...developed and masculine men.

There is research showing that during a certain part of a woman's cycle she will be more attracted to masculinity in either gender, so when I started noticing the same thing I just attributed it to the hormones. But whatever, all I care is that guys look even better now :D

* I've also noticed that while I still find women attractive, I'm finding that changing, too. Women who I would have considered unattractive before HRT I now find attractive. *

+1

I think we become more 'forgiving' in terms of what 'male' expectations were all about.

Yet, females are for friendship (mostly), men for sex (mostly) :-)

Just to keep it simple,
Axelle