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so like one of the ppl i told about she thought she just had to ask me, y do boy hit each other to show affection? at that point i stared at her blankly and well i honestly don't know ! :( how sad is that i like played the ultimate macho boy and i never learnt y? anyone never get y they do it? and please tell :) so   i can well tell my friend and well just know :) thanks

LOL, I have no idea really! I always assumed it was some sort of machism thing meshed with a sign of friendship. I never liked it either.

i have scars like no bodies business from boys doing that ;)i;) am definitely not a dominant male hehe tried to hit back and as i did i cried ::) but yea its obviously got bonding power tho i don't see why i mean its weird ... ::)

I've never had a guy friend hit me to show affection. I thought that only happened in movies, perhaps it's because of my persona they know that I'm not good at rough play so they've never done it to me.

This is little boy stuff.  When they grow up (if) they will stop.  Actually they tend to stop the first time they do it to someone who objects and clocks 'em.

Quote from: tekla on August 21, 2011, 05:55:15 PM
This is little boy stuff.  When they grow up (if) they will stop.  Actually they tend to stop the first time they do it to someone who objects and clocks 'em.

you would assume that from logic but ! i have seen a bunch of fathers doing it at first i thought they were fighting till one of their wives said na they just bonding ... so sorry telka maturity doesn't fix all nor does age...

Ehm, my analysis is that physical contact shows people are close. But since touching is "gay", men "naturally" find another way to show they are close to each other. The fact that a guy lets another guy hit him without defending himself might show trust or something, too.

But not only guys do that. With my mother, sister and friends, mostly female, a slight hit with the hips/butt has always been, for some reason, a "I am here, I love you and I am in a teasy mood" message, nevertheless empty-meaning when you think of it.

Quote from: A on August 21, 2011, 06:19:34 PM
Ehm, my analysis is that physical contact shows people are close. But since touching is "gay", men "naturally" find another way to show they are close to each other. The fact that a guy lets another guy hit him without defending himself might show trust or something, too.

But not only guys do that. With my mother, sister and friends, mostly female, a slight hit with the hips/butt has always been, for some reason, a "I am here, I love you and I am in a teasy mood" message, nevertheless empty-meaning when you think of it.

love it :) i copied and sent it to my friend hope you don't mind :) thanks !

That's why I specifically added the 'if' in my statement.  Lots of people don't grow up, or don't do it very well. 

Well as "guy" who has been in such deep stealth and who repressed who I want to be, I can tell you that in my experience it's mainly because as guys we don't like to be direct with our feelings, and sometimes we just had a lot of pent up aggression and we got it out in very direct manner and typically guys understand this subconsciously and sometimes consciously.

and who says guys are simple minded ;)?

....Still rather stupid XD

Quote from: Sam(my)I am on August 21, 2011, 06:40:38 PM
Well as "guy" who has been in such deep stealth and who repressed who I want to be, I can tell you that in my experience it's mainly because as guys we don't like to be direct with our feelings, and sometimes we just had a lot of pent up aggression and we got it out in very direct manner and typically guys understand this subconsciously and sometimes consciously.

and who says guys are simple minded ;)?

....Still rather stupid XD

still surprises me no matter how deeply i stopped myself from being me, i never understood such a simple thing ! its like my maths i was always told its scary how super complex stuff are easy for me yet i can't do the simple stuff to save my life  :-\

It's the pats on the butt during sports that have always baffled me. Like A said I assume it is because guys hugging is not cool which is part of the reason. I have participated in this behavior and it has been with both males and females. Sometimes it fits the moment much better. While it is certainly predominantly male it is certainly not exclusive.

i remember when i was little i would go to my dad's softball games. They were the most macho men i ever met in my life. They exuded testosterone. However, they always pat each others asses and said "good job out there, <name>.

Never could figure that out. And it only occured during sporting events..,..nowhere else.

It's my understanding that men ("alpha males") enjoy not only the hitting, but being hit. Moderate pain is enjoyable, and men oblige each other by such hitting.

Note that we're not talking about pummeling, where multiple hits happen in a very short period of time...it's more like a punch or two to the shoulders, the gut (with adequate warning), etc. Large muscle areas = less pain.

The crotch is a no-go, the face also.

Girlie-men complain about the hits...alpha males just hit back.

If I'd ever been an alpha-male I'd probably be able to explain it better...

I think not understanding things like this is part of being MTF. :P I don't think I was ever wired to "get it", since I always disliked roughhousing of any kind. I can't turn off the empathy that says "But that would hurt!"

Quote from: LifeInNeon on August 21, 2011, 09:14:34 PM
I think not understanding things like this is part of being MTF. :P I don't think I was ever wired to "get it", since I always disliked roughhousing of any kind. I can't turn off the empathy that says "But that would hurt!"

I don't know I study human psych a lot and so I understood it even though I never thought myself as a guy >.>

but if you mean "get it" as in partake and truly understand and not mind then that's a solid drawn out "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo....."

QuoteI think not understanding things like this is part of being MTF. I don't think I was ever wired to "get it", since I always disliked roughhousing of any kind. I can't turn off the empathy that says "But that would hurt!"

Just what I would have said.  I don't have a problem with a high 5 but not all the rough stuff.

Quote from: A on August 21, 2011, 06:19:34 PM
Ehm, my analysis is that physical contact shows people are close. But since touching is "gay", men "naturally" find another way to show they are close to each other. The fact that a guy lets another guy hit him without defending himself might show trust or something, too.

But not only guys do that. With my mother, sister and friends, mostly female, a slight hit with the hips/butt has always been, for some reason, a "I am here, I love you and I am in a teasy mood" message, nevertheless empty-meaning when you think of it.

This is a cool thought.  I've always wondered about this very thing and I think I can go with this idea and call it explained.

I can't turn off the empathy that says "But that would hurt!"

Of course it does.  But the trick is in not minding that it hurts.

Oh, oh, I just had a flash about the habit of hitting one on the shoulders. When men went at work or at war to do physical tasks and/or accidents happened, perhaps men checked each other with a punch there. If one could stand the pain, he wasn't injured, or he was strong enough to sustain the injury. If he kneeled in pain, he was injured and he was forced to go away to rest - he would then have been regarded as weak, too old to work, etc. Kids may have seen their father doing it, and at some point the purpose of the punch was lost, but boys would keep on doing what their dad did, and the whole thing became a "manliness check". Eventually the whole point may have been lost, and it would just be some kind of cultural evolutionary relic. It could also be related to checking broken collar bones in knights' battles.

   Guys are weird.....the end.

Lol.  So true.

I'll just toss this in here, but a lot of guys (and a lot more guys than girls) work in jobs where their safety depends on the people around them, and I think part of that stuff is getting to know someone, which you have to do before you trust them.

I thought you said "hit on" at first.

I think it's what most people are saying, just a way to show friendship; just some playfulness...I was never manly, still not, so I don't know the actual reason why, but that's my guess

Quote from: LifeInNeon on August 21, 2011, 09:14:34 PM
I think not understanding things like this is part of being MTF. :P I don't think I was ever wired to "get it", since I always disliked roughhousing of any kind. I can't turn off the empathy that says "But that would hurt!"

Ditto. I never understood this literal "Pecking" part of the man's man image. It reminds me of my dogs.  They do it all the time to establish who's on the top.

Guys only do it to establish who is like fourth and fifth, the top dog, everyone knows.

It's only a pecking order with girls,  they tend to use their mouths rather than fists... With guys it's more of a pecker head order with the biggest prick dominating the others

On a friendlier note... It can be a form of male bonding

Actually, it has nothing to do with dominance, but is a means of bonding and creating a form of support network. This may sound odd or counter-intuitive at first, but a man would never hit another guy on the shoulder in a similar manner if that man was a total stranger or if he did not have a close enough relationship with him. He would probably not hit his boss on the shoulder, unless they happen to actually be close, or the CEO of his company (assuming the CEO is a man, which is statistically likely). If it were about dominance, then we would see men doing this with guys they do not know, which we do not. It is only after they have gained a certain sense of camaraderie that they are able to hit another guy on the shoulder without it being problematic. Also, as someone else noted, homophobia is a huge regulatory force for straight men. If a guy hugs another guy or touches him in a way that a woman might touch another woman to show support, he is labeled gay for doing so. Gender non-conformity among men is largely equated to homosexuality, and so homophobia also functions as a means of policing gender norms. Transphobia, androphobia, and other gender related phobias can and do function in similar ways, but those are whole other issues.

hey girlfriends pinch and slap each others butts all the time too...at least my friends do!

oh and the bra snaps that is alleged to be a sign of good luck...

Quote from: Forever21Chic on August 21, 2011, 11:31:10 PM


   Guys are weird.....the end.

very true :)