Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: Joanna on August 22, 2011, 01:59:38 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Newbie here saying Hi
Post by: Joanna on August 22, 2011, 01:59:38 PM
Post by: Joanna on August 22, 2011, 01:59:38 PM
Hi
Ok, here goes... I will try to make this as short as I can so not bore anyone too much.
I am currently a 36 year old male and I live with my partner of 10 years who is also male. However I know deep down inside that I am female. I love feminine things, I would love to wear make-up, wear nice clothes and feel confident with my femininity. I have always had a hang up about my physical sexuality which has caused no end of conflict in my relationship (being labelled as fridgid by my bf) or (not a normal gay guy) due to my disinterest in sex with him.
But, there is one thing that perhaps does make me different from others on here. I have started the MtF transition before. I began hormone therapy when i was just 17 years old. The change was very quick and after just 6 moths i was completely androgynous and then after 1 year totally passable as a girl. I had long chesnut brown hair, I was pretty and would get woof whistled by guys etc! I do not lie. The change was almost too much too quick. I was shy, naive, self conscious and very very lonely. I had another TS friend, but she was too intense for me and often left me feeling totally confused . I was seeing Dr Russell Reid at the time and he told me I was lucky because of the way I looked but I often wondered if I should have waited and had a little life experience first, so i could cope with the stress and agony the transition can bring.
I ceased my hormone therapy 2 years after I had started. I felt quite depressed and confused. However one of the main reasons for quitting was my health. The treatment made me so unwell. I always felt nauseous and would be sick nearly every day. I felt fatigued and totally washed out. I was taking ethyniyloestradiol but moved to patches to reduce the sickness. However the patches made my breasts rock hard and sore. When i finally came off hormones my body reverted back to male within 6-8 weeks.
Through my councellor i met a guy who was gay and he introduced me to the world of gay men. This made me feel wanted and accepted. I also felt well and confident again. Despite this, ever since I know the girl in me has never left and this hurts very much. I do wish someone could wave a magic wand and make me the girl I want to be. My home is full of Cath Kidson decor and I love pretty things. I would love to paint my nails and style my hair. I am not cross dressing or anything as this is not currently important to me. I need to be physically a woman to feel right in female clothes.
I have a career (occupational therapist), a partner, a home, a mortgage etc etc. I am 36 now and know the clock is ticking. In July I had my first consultation with a gender specialist in London and I am due to go back in October for a review. I am having therapy via a counsellor and I have started laser hair removal. I want ot be ready for HRT when and If I decide to move forward with this.
Thanks
Jamie (Jenna) x
Ok, here goes... I will try to make this as short as I can so not bore anyone too much.
I am currently a 36 year old male and I live with my partner of 10 years who is also male. However I know deep down inside that I am female. I love feminine things, I would love to wear make-up, wear nice clothes and feel confident with my femininity. I have always had a hang up about my physical sexuality which has caused no end of conflict in my relationship (being labelled as fridgid by my bf) or (not a normal gay guy) due to my disinterest in sex with him.
But, there is one thing that perhaps does make me different from others on here. I have started the MtF transition before. I began hormone therapy when i was just 17 years old. The change was very quick and after just 6 moths i was completely androgynous and then after 1 year totally passable as a girl. I had long chesnut brown hair, I was pretty and would get woof whistled by guys etc! I do not lie. The change was almost too much too quick. I was shy, naive, self conscious and very very lonely. I had another TS friend, but she was too intense for me and often left me feeling totally confused . I was seeing Dr Russell Reid at the time and he told me I was lucky because of the way I looked but I often wondered if I should have waited and had a little life experience first, so i could cope with the stress and agony the transition can bring.
I ceased my hormone therapy 2 years after I had started. I felt quite depressed and confused. However one of the main reasons for quitting was my health. The treatment made me so unwell. I always felt nauseous and would be sick nearly every day. I felt fatigued and totally washed out. I was taking ethyniyloestradiol but moved to patches to reduce the sickness. However the patches made my breasts rock hard and sore. When i finally came off hormones my body reverted back to male within 6-8 weeks.
Through my councellor i met a guy who was gay and he introduced me to the world of gay men. This made me feel wanted and accepted. I also felt well and confident again. Despite this, ever since I know the girl in me has never left and this hurts very much. I do wish someone could wave a magic wand and make me the girl I want to be. My home is full of Cath Kidson decor and I love pretty things. I would love to paint my nails and style my hair. I am not cross dressing or anything as this is not currently important to me. I need to be physically a woman to feel right in female clothes.
I have a career (occupational therapist), a partner, a home, a mortgage etc etc. I am 36 now and know the clock is ticking. In July I had my first consultation with a gender specialist in London and I am due to go back in October for a review. I am having therapy via a counsellor and I have started laser hair removal. I want ot be ready for HRT when and If I decide to move forward with this.
Thanks
Jamie (Jenna) x
Title: Re: Newbie here saying Hi
Post by: Forever21Chic on August 23, 2011, 04:05:43 PM
Post by: Forever21Chic on August 23, 2011, 04:05:43 PM
Jenna i feel your pain, i too had to detransition at an early age but for diff reason's, i'm glad to hear you decided to be yourself again it's a hard road we all face but it's worth it in the end.
BTW- Welcome to susans!! ;D
Title: Re: Newbie here saying Hi
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on August 23, 2011, 04:10:36 PM
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on August 23, 2011, 04:10:36 PM
Hai Jenna, how do you feel about funyuns?
Title: Re: Newbie here saying Hi
Post by: gennee on August 25, 2011, 11:51:11 AM
Post by: gennee on August 25, 2011, 11:51:11 AM
Hi Jenna and welcome to the forum.
Title: Re: Newbie here saying Hi
Post by: Sera on August 25, 2011, 12:00:51 PM
Post by: Sera on August 25, 2011, 12:00:51 PM
Hello, and welcome to the forums. I do not have much to say on the matter, however.
BUT, does it not seem a bit cocky for your boyfriend to say that disinterest in having sex with him makes you a 'not normal gay guy', as if every normal gay guy is supposed to be interested in having sex with him? I hope he can dig in his mind a bit deeper next time before he says things like that!
BUT, does it not seem a bit cocky for your boyfriend to say that disinterest in having sex with him makes you a 'not normal gay guy', as if every normal gay guy is supposed to be interested in having sex with him? I hope he can dig in his mind a bit deeper next time before he says things like that!
Title: Re: Newbie here saying Hi
Post by: LadyTeresa on August 25, 2011, 03:09:31 PM
Post by: LadyTeresa on August 25, 2011, 03:09:31 PM
Hi Jenna. I'll echo the others and say welcome and I hope you progress as you need to. Here you'll find a great group of people who are willing to share their experiences - just ask.
Teresa
Teresa
Title: Re: Newbie here saying Hi
Post by: Devlyn on August 25, 2011, 05:51:01 PM
Post by: Devlyn on August 25, 2011, 05:51:01 PM
Hi Jenna, it's nice to meet you! I hope you enjoy the site as much as I do! See you around, hugs, Tracey
Title: Re: Newbie here saying Hi
Post by: Joanna on August 28, 2011, 02:16:10 PM
Post by: Joanna on August 28, 2011, 02:16:10 PM
Thanks for the warm welcomes everyone. :) Very kind with some lovely messages. When you go through this transition its good to know you are among friends. xx
AbracaDebra - yes another Brit nestling in among American sisters. and BTW we have messaged before on the Transgender Zone. You are awesome. You and the other girls provided me with so much support during a really dark time. Thanks xxxx
AbracaDebra - yes another Brit nestling in among American sisters. and BTW we have messaged before on the Transgender Zone. You are awesome. You and the other girls provided me with so much support during a really dark time. Thanks xxxx