Susan's Place Transgender Resources

For a long time ive had a big disgust with most females i know and the female sex in general. Sometimes i see TG's mostly on tv or something that transition and become slutty stereotypical women. In high school it was just incredible how many slutty girls there was there, even when i was a senior i saw girls that were freshmen or sophmores that were already pregnant and single. Some people think that as a female i should be more understanding of girls- which means that i should think that being a stripper or a porn star is "empowering" or that being a slut that hops from bed to bed is ok "because men do it". PLEEEEASEE! i dont see any of that junk as anything but counter productive to women, im not a feminist whatsoever im happy with the rights that i have as a female at least here in the US, i cant say the same for girls everywhere though. It just sickens me how women have become at least in this western culture, its socially acceptable to be slut. It's even encouraged to be one i mean ive even seen freakin shoe commercials that have to have a half naked chick wearing them. Its just so pathetic. And i know not all women are like this but a good percentage are. I am 20 years old and hate going to parties or places like that because there's always girls that are so starved for attention that they wear little tiny skirts and low tops, i mean they might as well show up naked. And im not jealous or a "hater" like other people think im just utterly disgusted at how females have become. I cannot fathom in my mind what makes women act this way accept that they are so starved for attention that they will do anything. At least in western culture it seems like the only purpose some women have is to compete with each other for looks, money, men. Again its pathetic.  I have a 14 year old sister and i am so glad that i have guided her for the past couple of years about this very thing. She is only 14 yes but kids get younger and younger every time and they get pregnant, have sex, drink, etc. She is a very smart and she is a good kid, not slutty, not attention seeking. So many of her class mates are only 14-15 years old ans they post pictures of themselves on sites like facebook wearing only their underwear, i even know one of those little girls and i always wonder "do her parents know". I consider myself the opposite of these girls, i do not crave male attention- i get attention from a lot of people because i am a musician, i am a painter and drawer and i am very good at what i do. I have good qualities so i dont need to go around looking like some floozy so i can get a guy to notice me and that's the problem girls value themselves so much on their looks because they think they are just the hottest thing around but whats gonna happen when their looks fade and they have nothing to offer?  This is one of the strongest points i like to make to my sister. Just last saturday i decided to attend a party with my boyfriend and we where there a few hours and some slutty little 18 and 19 year old girls showed up and after like a hour or 2 the one that was staring at my bf all night decided it would be nice to sit on his lap and play with his hair. She thought the talk about his long hair would distract the fact that she was on his lap when i was sitting right next to them. I am not a violent person or anything i just simply proceeded to grab her by the arm and pull her off and she had the nerve to get mad at me. I didnt feel jealous or anything just disrespected. I went on to tell her that she might think that being a slut is universally accepted but not by me or my bf. Its almost funny how they clearly look and act like sluts yet they get mad when you point it out or call them one. Anyway i wonder what you girls think about this, did that ever change your opinion on being female? did it ever make you not want to be one? like i said i know that not all girls are like this but its becoming much more common and accepted that it seems to be catching on like some trend  :(

If you ever go to Thailand, you'll see how the media portrays transsexuals there. My family's impression is that they're all slutty, weak, and live depressed lives. It doesn't make me want to transition less, but it does make me want to prove them wrong. -.-

Same with girls at my school, I know I don't have to act like them.

Every single person is different as a guy I was the common sense person, the person that didn't want to take a risk unless it was for something that truly mattered like my friends, I committed to my relationships, I don't take any illegal drugs, I study a lot, I play music ect. ect. NONE of this changes when I finally become the girl I was meant to and want to be! I am me no matter what, and you are you no matter what.
I will say though that I don't like how in a lot of today's societies how women are looked at and what even women themselves show, it doesn't sit well with me and I just think that as a women I will be able to change some of this, and if not for women by birth at least for women by choice.

The blame for this kind of behavior is not based only on the child but much more so on their parents and upbringing.  Although you can f ind slutty girl syndrome everywhere as everyone is different there are some factors that encourage this behavior and they are as follows:

1) family, little or no parental supervision and proper parenting lead children (then later adults) to follow peers or the mainstream for their behavioral guidelines,  If you think back to the 1800s america was obviously different, women's rights aside, you found very few slutty women (unless in a brothel) but a lot more refined ones that knew modesty since they learned what it meant to be a woman from birth.  If you have no one to instill moral values you will follow what is around you.

2) society, the media portrays women in a lot of movies, music, and commercials in negative ways, if society enforces those sterotypes its even worse (like in the US).  For example referring to them as bitches, hoes, etc... Look at the shows just showing women drunk and exposing themselves, or trying to get men with money alone! while men are referred to as... players.  Very rarely do movies portray a woman with shining examples of morals or modesty in young adult cultures so they are brought up to think thats how the world is.

3) comparing each other is what women do, we naturally look at other women a lot of times and wish we had some feature or another and many times dress to impress or out do and appear better then others.  Whether its nature or nurture i am not sure but many species of animal follow the same behavior to seem more appealing for future family building.  So its kind of normal for women to size each other up and try to outdo each other, the same is true for men in another sense, however... sitting on your boyfriend's lap is going to far.

Anyway i know what you mean, but not all women are like this, what you dont see is that a lot of women who dont act that way are actually not at the party you were at, and maybe sharing a romantic moment with their SO's, taking time with friends, etc...  If you walk down the street you would probably see very few of the women you speak of until maybe night time so you have to think of the venue as well.

Well.... I think there are all kinds of people.

And there are lots of slutty, vapid girls just like there are lots of cocky, sleazy guys. I don't think it's only a female thing. I wouldn't want to have that personality as either gender.

     Honestly i hate being around most women lol. More then half the women i've met as a male and now as a female have come across to me as being very petty and vain. I've also noticed alot of females are two-faced, meaning they will smile and act like your friend infront of you yet when you're not in the room they can't stop talking about you! Yeah i can't stand the slutty way woman are portrayed now. The media images of what women "should" be is just ridiculous and is doing more harm then good especially for those young girls watching.



     I just want to be me, if i can do that then i really don't care what society thinks a woman should and shouldn't be.  :)   



    P.S: Marta your post needs editing!  :laugh:

Quote from: pretty on August 25, 2011, 06:25:15 PM
Well.... I think there are all kinds of people.

And there are lots of slutty, vapid girls just like there are lots of cocky, sleazy guys. I don't think it's only a female thing. I wouldn't want to have that personality as either gender.

I like that explanation.  I like it lots!  In fact, it sums up my feelings better than I think I could have.  Well, more succinctly than I could have for a start. :laugh:

That said, I do have infinitely more female friends than male.  My ratio stands at 3 guys, 8 girls.  I prefer hanging out with girls!  At least I can communicate with them.  Though I looked like a boy for many years, I never picked up Boyspeak as a second language.  Swahili was easier.

Yeah I agree with alot of what you say, that there are alot of slutty women out there. Really though there are just as many slutty guys, even though that's not a term typically applied to men. I think many women are just starting to think well if men can do it then so can women. Forget the fact that it's disgusting for anyone, regardless of gender, to flaunt themselves so shamelessly like that. If I had an SO and someone did what that girl did I would pull her off too, and she'd be lucky to get away with only that. As far as wanting to be female, what I may or may not want is irrelevant. I am what I am, though I am not like most women out there (thankfully lol).

This problem is not exclusive to women by any stretch though. Despite what some people may say, our society pretty much values only greed and the most superficial, even artificial, kind of beauty. It seems like if it is not sex, money or power then no one is interested, and when you have children who see their parents and most other adults exhibit this kind of behavior of course they learn it too. Rather than teaching kinds to value who they are, they are taught to value what (including who) they can acquire, by whatever means they can. Almost no one has any sense of honor or dignity anymore.

I think you are absolutely right about that. We live in a culture based on greed, and it seems that anything that cannot be easily sold or eaten or f****d has no value of its own anymore. Its tragic that many people measure their own worth in terms of being a desirable, easy to market product that attracts as many potential customers as possible, be it sexually or in almost every other aspect of life.....

Hmmm okay... I for one know plenty of girls who would never do anything like that—in fact, none of my girl friends would do anything like that :) so please don't group all girls as something like that. It is simply not true. The thing is these other girls are probably just sitting at home watching TV and you don't see them. I know that's what my girl friends tend to do! It doesn't mean there are very few of them; it just means if you go down to a bar you aren't going to see any (duh). And our idea of a "party" is something completely different. We wouldn't even have any alcohol or dress sexily. We just go to a biiiig park and bring lots of food and drinks and play some games there or fly some kites with the radio on.

Besides, it has a lot to do with how they were brought up. If they were brought up being influenced by that kind of ideals, then I can understand that's how they think a girl should be like.
Even I find myself influenced by media when I sometimes reflect on my own thoughts... so who am I to judge :)

Marta, you are a sensible woman. I have a close acquaintence who is extremely attractive, smart, and.... she keeps falling for jerks. She could have any man in town and she keeps going after the motorcycle jock. This last guy she hooked up with was just arrested for assaulting a minor.  Sheesh.  I think that there are two factors at work here. First, we are programmed by society, the media, our families, and every other influence to behave in certain ways. "Oooooh if you don't buy this cosmetic, you'll be ugly. And no one wants to be ugly." Second, there is an instinct of self preservation. "The big strong guy will protect me. He'll parade me around and I'll be so admired." Others have said it better than I have.

Personally, I really have a difficult time in female company when the discussion is focused so much on clothes, shopping, decorating the house.... you know what I mean. I like to talk about the kids, how they are doing in school, what hobbies they have, etc. So, I can't lay it all on one gender or the other. It's just that I find some things interesting and fascinating. Others.... ho hum.

Cindi

Quote from: apple pie on August 26, 2011, 03:24:47 AM
Hmmm okay... I for one know plenty of girls who would never do anything like that—in fact, none of my girl friends would do anything like that :) so please don't group all girls as something like that. It is simply not true. The thing is these other girls are probably just sitting at home watching TV and you don't see them. I know that's what my girl friends tend to do! It doesn't mean there are very few of them; it just means if you go down to a bar you aren't going to see any (duh). And our idea of a "party" is something completely different. We wouldn't even have any alcohol or dress sexily. We just go to a biiiig park and bring lots of food and drinks and play some games there or fly some kites with the radio on.

Besides, it has a lot to do with how they were brought up. If they were brought up being influenced by that kind of ideals, then I can understand that's how they think a girl should be like.
Even I find myself influenced by media when I sometimes reflect on my own thoughts... so who am I to judge :)

Marta clearly stated that "not all girls are that way" more than once.

Quote from: elsaG on August 26, 2011, 03:55:31 AM
Marta clearly stated that "not all girls are that way" more than once.

Indeed you are correct about Marta having stated that. You'll have to forgive me though as it was quite hard to read (so it definitely wasn't clear to me) :) and I admit that I felt just a bit agitated by how it sounded similar to when men attack the characteristics of other men and thus express how much they don't like men.

So, sorry about that :) but I don't think even most women are like that. The girls I know well in real life definitely aren't.

Not a lot has changed since I was in High School then.  Just a bit more open about it.
I think the double standard was more prevalent then as well.
Karen.

Quote from: apple pie on August 26, 2011, 05:48:01 AM
So, sorry about that :) but I don't think even most women are like that. The girls I know well in real life definitely aren't.

I agree.

What I have a hard time dealing with is, IF a trans-person feels that way about women, and still wants to be one, what is going on inside her head? My former partner was that way, and I just couldn't get my head around it. It felt like there was a man's attitudes inside her. What was worse, I felt as though she didn't want me to be a woman because she didn't want me to be "like that." Well, I'm not "like that," whatever that means, but it felt like I wasn't allowed to be myself.

Quote from: Marta on August 25, 2011, 05:06:06 PM
Anyway i wonder what you girls think about this, did that ever change your opinion on being female? did it ever make you not want to be one?

Someone's body is a dignified special part of oneself, at least when you're not actively hating it because of whatever, and to see the way this culture turns women's bodies into a consumable product just makes me feel so dirty and sick to my stomach and I question if this is really how I'm supposed to be and what standard I'm going to be held to. If I'm physically attractive I see no problem in allowing myself to feel confident about it around others but I won't allow myself to act like a slut and be objectified. If that attracts bad attention to me (ironic?) so be it. Being female on the other hand is who I am and it's something I can't control or change no matter how good or bad it seems or how much I do/not want it.

I went on to tell her that she might think that being a slut is universally accepted...

Not to draw too fine a point on it, but at that moment it was being accepted by your BF, he deserved the lecture, not her.

Quote from: Lisbeth on August 26, 2011, 11:00:37 AM
I agree.

What I have a hard time dealing with is, IF a trans-person feels that way about women, and still wants to be one, what is going on inside her head? My former partner was that way, and I just couldn't get my head around it. It felt like there was a man's attitudes inside her. What was worse, I felt as though she didn't want me to be a woman because she didn't want me to be "like that." Well, I'm not "like that," whatever that means, but it felt like I wasn't allowed to be myself.

I've seen a lot of cis women who feel the same way. It's not a man's attitude.

I will have to agree that it does depend on the person's upbringing. Also, I will add that it depends on where you're living. I find some cultures to be less so. No matter how other girls act, it will never change my perspective on me being female.

And Marta, pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase split up your posts into paragraphs. They're super difficult to read! Especially for someone who has mild dyslexia. :(

You should move to the Bible Belt.  Lots of slut-shaming and sex-negativity here.

Quote
Anyway i wonder what you girls think about this, did that ever change your opinion on being female?

I have to be. I can't be what I'm not. I was born female no matter my physical state. I have no choice but to be myself, for myself.

Hi Marta

Tekla has a point, why didn't your BF say to her to move on.
I think they both disrespected you.
I can imagine why you were angry on that girl, it's not the way civilised people should behave but I think I walked out of the place leaving the BF with the slut and when he didn't come right after me, he could stay where he was.

Sorry if this sound hoarse but IMHO you don't have to tolerate such kind of behaviour, as a decent lady you deserve a better way of treatment.

Hugs
Annette

Boys see girls as pieces of meat, and most girls have low self esteem (boys know this!)
Fact is, Girls act 'slutty' so GUYS will notice them!
so maybe if guys would stop thinking with their cocks, girls would keep their legs closed :)

*edited* some 'moderaters' *cough*power hungry witches*cough* can't take a joke.

off-topic, you're totally cute! :)
Yeah, I'm kidding. ew.

ok about the whole boyfriend didnt move thing, my boyfriend was pretty drunk that night and he was kinda spaced out when this chick sat on his lap. I was with him the whole night and she was pretty much taking advantage of that. Also I know some people say that there are plenty of men that also act this way but i was referring to females alone. Some women use the excuse that men can do it but my point is why would you want to do what they are doing? i know this and im not saying men doing it is any better but this topic is not about them.  Also id like to restate that i said "some women are this way" if i said all women i would probably be lumping myself in there too with my mom and sisters we are all far from being this way. Im not bashing women as a whole im simply talking about a huge majority of girls who are extremely needy at least they need the attention and they try to get it in the wrong way- or that can be they attention that they want. @Ganetta- im not slut shaming, i think its perfectly normal for a person who is non religious (like me) to feel this way because its counter productive to women.  So as ive explained before im not lumping all women into this category, my boyfriend was drunk and i know all women are NOT the same. Simply it was a rant on women who are this way and trust me there is a lot.

You're right Marta, wherever you go, you will always meet lousy people, fortunately there are nice people too.
i don't know why some women act like that, maybe some competition, sort of "I'm more attractive than you, look I can take your BF, I have the power" It's very immature and insecure behaviour but there is always hope that this girls change their behaviour when they are grown ups.
Sorry, you had this experience.

hugs
Annette

Quote from: Marta on August 28, 2011, 02:58:57 PM
i think its perfectly normal for a person who is non religious (like me) to feel this way because its counter productive to women.

For the most part I agree with you, but I am wondering what religion has to do with it. I am a religious person but I also think it is counter-productive to women. I never really understood the whole needing attention thing.

The thing that always bothered me was that women think doing what a man does is liberating. So now we have all these women being cheap like SOME men who have too much T, excuse my statement. Or we have women into sports, rtc etc because men did it.

I wondered why womens lib didn't get men to do things like women and not the reverse. Womens liberation should have pushed men to be more like women than women becoming more like men. sheesh thats what sucks.. too me.. oh well maybe i am old school..

my boyfriend was pretty drunk that night and he was kinda spaced out when this chick sat on his lap

Well that's putting the blame where it belongs.  Oh wait.  You're serious!  Let me laugh harder then.  Most guys try to find a chick in a different area code if they are going to cheat, he didn't even bother to find one in a different room.

i don't know why some women act like that

Probably thinking that he could do better.  Along the same lines as guys who think: Is she really going out with him?  As the noted American philosopher Beyoncé said, Don't be mad once you see that he want it / If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.

Well, speaking as a sexually-liberated person, and therefore quite possibly a "slut" in your book (since I still look like a girl)...

Let me say it for the record: there's nothing wrong with wanting or having consensual sex. And if a woman flirts, or wears sexy clothes, or puts out, it's not always because she's a degraded sex object or has internalized some oppressive male-dominated social propaganda. Sometimes she's just confident and likes sex. Deal with it. If her confidence bothers you, turn your chair around.

@Wolfsnake: THANK YOU.

@tekla, mmhmmm u can think whatever u like and @wolfsnake- how does being easy=confidence? I wasnt talking about confidence at all. I believe if a woman is a confident one there is no need for that type of attention. The way that you describe women seems more like a prostitute than someone who is just "liberated". Just because its culturally acceptable to act a certain way doesnt mean its right. If it was culturally acceptable for a 13 or 14 year old girl to act that way i think most people would say the things you say. And hey the way things are now soon it will be normal for little girls to emulate women like this- not that it doesnt happen now. There's plenty of ways for a woman to be or feel confident and by using sex and her body thats really stupid. All im saying is women can do a lot better than that. And i also believe that people should have enough respect for others to keep themselves covered up and act cheap in other places where everyone is ok with it. I shouldnt have to "deal with it" or turn around

I agree with Marta, a person shouldnt have to put up with a girl that is acting like a slut and walks around with everything hanging out because they need attention. If a girl doesnt want to be seen that way then maybe she should present herself differently? first impressions are important. "sexual liberation" mmmhmmm? sounds more like a term to use instead of promiscuous. If a person is sleeping around with everyone they meet that's promiscuity, if you have one partner then thats a different story but people will come up with different terms to make things seem more tame than they really are. Women who are "confident" enough to flaunt their whole body and sleep around with every guy they meet is a slut its not a question of confidence or liberation. That's why the term exists. And im not even gonna mention men here because men can be that way too but we are talking about women. The world shouldn't have to deal with women like that if they want to be that way fine but they can do it at home and not in front of the whole world

There's nothing wrong with promiscuity or polyamory, if you take care of yourself and your partners while you're about it.

Seriously, folks. It ain't the fifties anymore.

Seriously, folks. It ain't the fifties anymore.

I have a hard time around here figuring out what century people are living in, much less narrowing it down to a decade.

Quote from: Wolfsnake on August 29, 2011, 02:49:36 AM
There's nothing wrong with promiscuity or polyamory

Well there is a difference between those two. Polyamory is fine, but I would define promiscuous as sleeping with many people who aren't your committed partners. That I think is just... well it's primitive really. We ought to be better than just screw whatever looks good.

Quote from: Pinkfluff on August 29, 2011, 07:40:46 AM
Well there is a difference between those two. Polyamory is fine, but I would define promiscuous as sleeping with many people who aren't your committed partners. That I think is just... well it's primitive really. We ought to be better than just screw whatever looks good.

We need a like button .. oh yea we have a reputation button

We ought to be better than just screw whatever looks good

OK, you can have all the fat ugly people then.  So can I pencil you in around 9 tonight?

Quote from: Pinkfluff on August 29, 2011, 07:40:46 AM
Well there is a difference between those two. Polyamory is fine, but I would define promiscuous as sleeping with many people who aren't your committed partners. That I think is just... well it's primitive really. We ought to be better than just screw whatever looks good.

So I have to be totally committed to someone to have sex with them in your universe? What if neither of us like strings and just want to try new things?

I'm also curious what's wrong with primitive, and what makes "civilized" morally superior. And guess what, people do screw what looks good. It's called having a type. It's kinda normal.

Oh, and Annetta, you're welcome madam. ;)

So many prudes in this thread. I'd just like to say that I am going to have absolutely no qualms about enjoying both my body and my sexuality once I've healed enough. Which by some of the definitions in this thread would make me a dirty little slutty ho bag...on a skateboard.

Quote from: Gravity's Child on August 29, 2011, 05:06:09 PM
So many prudes in this thread. I'd just like to say that I am going to have absolutely no qualms about enjoying both my body and my sexuality once I've healed enough. Which by some of the definitions in this thread would make me a dirty little slutty ho bag...on a skateboard.

You go girl! If you got it, have fun with it, yeah?

Definitely...both the skateboards and being me. ;D

So I have to be totally committed to someone to have sex with them in your universe?

But there is no commitment here, or none was stated.  No marriage, no engagement = open season, all's fair in love and war.  And to repeat:
If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.

Quote from: Wolfsnake on August 29, 2011, 04:58:30 PM
I'm also curious what's wrong with primitive

I suppose nothing is, as long as it is not hurting anyone. It's not for me, but that doesn't mean it can't be for anyone else either. I don't think total commitment is required, but I believe that there ought to be something there. I wouldn't want to hook up with someone without some kind of connection having developed first. It would feel wrong to me, but that doesn't mean that it has to feel wrong to everyone. If all involved favor the "no-strings-attached" approach then fine. I guess the problem is when one sees a string and the other doesn't.