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Kia Ora,

::) A simple question to ponder...When you help others-why does it make you feel good ?

I don't mean "paid" work, but helping someone for no monetary reward...Just because you can see they need help...

Metta Zenda :)

There once lived a saint so good that the angels came from heaven to see how a man could be so godly. This saint went about his daily life diffusing virtue as the stars diffuse light and the flowers scent, without being aware of it. His day could be summed up by two words -- he gave, he forgave -- yet these words never passed his lips. They were expressed in his ready smile, his kindness, forbearance, and charity.

The angels said to God, "Lord, grant him the gift of miracles."
God replied, "Ask what it is that he wishes."

They said to the saint, "Would you like the touch of your hands to heal the sick?"
"No," answered the saint. "I would rather God do that."

"Would you like to convert guilty souls and bring back wandering hearts to the right path?"
"No, that is the angels' mission. It is not for me to convert."

"Would you like to become a model of patience, attracting men by the luster of your virtues, and thus glorifying God?"

"No," replied the saint. "If men should be attracted to me, they would become estranged from God." "What is it that you desire, then?" asked the angels.

"What can I wish for?" asked the saint smiling. "That God gives me his grace; with that would I not have everything?"

The angels said, "You must ask for a miracle, or one will be forced upon you." "Very well," said the saint. "That I may do a great deal of good without ever knowing it."

The angels were perplexed. They took counsel and resolved upon the following plan: every time the saint's shadow fell behind him or to either side, so that he could not see it, it would have the power to cure disease, soothe pain, and comfort sorrow.

When the saint walked along, his shadow, thrown on the ground on either side or behind him, made arid paths green, caused withered plants to bloom, gave clear water to dried-up brooks, fresh color to pale children, and joy to unhappy men and women.

The saint simply went about his daily life diffusing virtue as the stars diffuse light and the flowers scent, without being aware of it. The people, respecting his humility, followed him silently, never speaking to him about his miracles. Soon they even forgot his name, and called him "The Holy Shadow."

It makes us feel good because we know it is the right thing to do. And then, having done what is right, we can find satisfaction that we have made someone else's world a better place to be.

Randi

yes if only the right hand didn't know what the left hand was doing.. Thats so hard these days..

Quote from: Lisbeth on September 01, 2011, 06:05:00 PM
There once lived a saint so good that the angels came from heaven to see how a man could be so godly. This saint went about his daily life diffusing virtue as the stars diffuse light and the flowers scent, without being aware of it. His day could be summed up by two words -- he gave, he forgave -- yet these words never passed his lips. They were expressed in his ready smile, his kindness, forbearance, and charity.

The angels said to God, "Lord, grant him the gift of miracles."
God replied, "Ask what it is that he wishes."

They said to the saint, "Would you like the touch of your hands to heal the sick?"
"No," answered the saint. "I would rather God do that."

"Would you like to convert guilty souls and bring back wandering hearts to the right path?"
"No, that is the angels' mission. It is not for me to convert."

"Would you like to become a model of patience, attracting men by the luster of your virtues, and thus glorifying God?"

"No," replied the saint. "If men should be attracted to me, they would become estranged from God." "What is it that you desire, then?" asked the angels.

"What can I wish for?" asked the saint smiling. "That God gives me his grace; with that would I not have everything?"

The angels said, "You must ask for a miracle, or one will be forced upon you." "Very well," said the saint. "That I may do a great deal of good without ever knowing it."

The angels were perplexed. They took counsel and resolved upon the following plan: every time the saint's shadow fell behind him or to either side, so that he could not see it, it would have the power to cure disease, soothe pain, and comfort sorrow.

When the saint walked along, his shadow, thrown on the ground on either side or behind him, made arid paths green, caused withered plants to bloom, gave clear water to dried-up brooks, fresh color to pale children, and joy to unhappy men and women.

The saint simply went about his daily life diffusing virtue as the stars diffuse light and the flowers scent, without being aware of it. The people, respecting his humility, followed him silently, never speaking to him about his miracles. Soon they even forgot his name, and called him "The Holy Shadow."

Kia Ora Lisbeth,

::) Are you saying that god's heavies put the hard word on him  :icon_suspicious: "Take one of god's miracles or else!" An offer he couldn't refuse  ;) ;D

Jokes aside, was the saint's happiness a spiritual gift from a god? Or a more natural reaction in the brain that stimulates the feel-good chemicals to flow as neuroscientists believe ?

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Randi on September 01, 2011, 07:12:06 PM
It makes us feel good because we know it is the right thing to do. And then, having done what is right, we can find satisfaction that we have made someone else's world a better place to be.

Randi

Kia Ora Randi,

::) So in theory one would think, people who volunteer their services are happier[a greater sense of well being-obtaining more satisfaction with their lot in life]...

Metta Zenda :) 

Maybe it's because humans are typically a communal species and everyone helping each other is good for the whole community.

When you do something good for another, it can make them feel good.
For the time you are helping another, you are joined together.
The other persons good feelings are shared. You feel good.

Even if you are being helped, you know that your feeling good from it is being shared with them.
You feel good, they feel good. Funny how people can do this without having to give it a second thought.

Ativan

"Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

(Matthew 6:1-4)

Kia Ora,

::) If this sense of collectiveness stimulates shared/joint happiness...What impact would helping others have on those who suffer from bouts of depression ?

Bearing in "mind" the neuroscientific findings that the brain naturally/automatically produces of a cocktail of feel-good chemicals, for both the receiver and the giver when an act of kindness is carried out ...

Science also shows that something is triggered in the brain of a depressive which for the most part tends to interrupt the flow/production of the neurotransmitter serotonin which contributes to ones depressed state...

So if one feels a bout of depression coming on, occupying ones mind by helping others should in theory help stimulate the flow of serotonin and other feel-good chemicals in the brain...

But I guess in order for this to work a person whose prone to bouts of depression should when free of depression-[prevention is better than cure so to speak] seek out some kind of volunteer work...By doing so not only does one help others[those in need] but also one learns to help oneself...

Just a thought...

BTW I'm well aware for some manic depressives, professional along with pharmaceutical help is needed, but this is not to say volunteer work wouldn't also help in some way to stimulate ones recovery... 

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Zenda on September 01, 2011, 12:36:20 AM
Kia Ora,

::) A simple question to ponder...When you help others-why does it make you feel good ?

I don't mean "paid" work, but helping someone for no monetary reward...Just because you can see they need help...

Metta Zenda :)

That is a tough one. I do a lot of volunteer work and help people in need around me. Yes it makes me feel good, which if part of why I do it.

I believe God is inside everyone and that God is love. So when I do loving things for others, it pleases God, which is a part of me so it makes me happy.

Kia Ora,

::) My original intention for starting this thread, was more so along the lines of the "physiological" happenings in/to ones brain...

::) However if a person believes the feel good feelings they get from helping others are some kind of "reward" from a god,[more supernatural than physiological] then so be it...Each to their own beliefs I guess...

Thank you to those who have participated so far...It's interesting to see how we tend to view/see things...[how  our mind works]

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Zenda on September 02, 2011, 03:16:50 PM
::) However if a person believes the feel good feelings they get from helping others are some kind of "reward" from a god,[more supernatural than physiological] then so be it...Each to their own beliefs I guess...

Hmm not so much a "reward" but that God is part of me and doing things for others makes that part of me happy? The way you wrote it is seeing God as an external being (granting a blessing) not as a part of each of us...

Quote from: Stephe on September 02, 2011, 03:25:17 PM
Hmm not so much a "reward" but that God is part of me and doing things for others makes that part of me happy? The way you wrote it is seeing God as an external being (granting a blessing) not as a part of each of us...

Kia Ora Stephe,

::) Interesting...but if god is a part of a person and this person feels sad, does their god feel this sadness too ?   

::) Or to put it another way, what's the other part of us [the part that's not god] made up of-what makes a person whole?

::) Who is responsible for activating the god within ?

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Zenda on September 02, 2011, 06:12:01 PM
Kia Ora Stephe,

::) Interesting...but if god is a part of a person and this person feels sad, does their god feel this sadness too ?   

::) Or to put it another way, what's the other part of us [the part that's not god] made up of-what makes a person whole?

::) Who is responsible for activating the god within ?

Metta Zenda :)

A) Well I believe God is part of every person (God = Love) so yes God feels our happiness and our sadness.

B) Our humanity and our animal instincts etc are what makes up part of who we are as well.

C)  I have a VERY simplistic view of religion: God is Love, God/love is inside each of us. We choose whether to let this become 'activated' or not.

Another simple way of viewing this is think of God's love as light, we can either lets Gods love shine though us or we can create a shadow blocking his love from others, it's our choice.

I honestly think too many people make religion/faith way too complex. People read all the religious books too literally and miss the forest for the trees. And the whole afterlife concept is so limiting, most things I have read assume that it is an extension of what we experience now. For all I know my "afterlife" is simply the chain reaction of my influence on people/the world after I am gone.. If love is part of me and my love continues on after I am dead, then I am still alive.. That's why I don't dwell on that stuff and concentrate on how I live and treat people right now.

Back to your original topic, God's love inside us wants to be used and when we help others for no personal gain, that's showing them our inner love for them and it's why it feels good. I understand there is a chemistry and biology behind all this "feeling good" but my faith is, there is more to it than simply chemistry.

Quote from: Stephe on September 02, 2011, 09:30:03 PM
A) Well I believe God is part of every person (God = Love) so yes God feels our happiness and our sadness.

B) Our humanity and our animal instincts etc are what makes up part of who we are as well.

C)  I have a VERY simplistic view of religion: God is Love, God/love is inside each of us. We choose whether to let this become 'activated' or not.

Another simple way of viewing this is think of God's love as light, we can either lets Gods love shine though us or we can create a shadow blocking his love from others, it's our choice.

I honestly think too many people make religion/faith way too complex. People read all the religious books too literally and miss the forest for the trees. And the whole afterlife concept is so limiting, most things I have read assume that it is an extension of what we experience now. For all I know my "afterlife" is simply the chain reaction of my influence on people/the world after I am gone.. If love is part of me and my love continues on after I am dead, then I am still alive.. That's why I don't dwell on that stuff and concentrate on how I live and treat people right now.

Back to your original topic, God's love inside us wants to be used and when we help others for no personal gain, that's showing them our inner love for them and it's why it feels good. I understand there is a chemistry and biology behind all this "feeling good" but my faith is, there is more to it than simply chemistry.

Kia Ora Stephe,

Thanks for your response...

::) Am I right to believe when you speak of a "god" you're referring to an energy force that's in and around all life forms ? [ life's energy force= "Chi"]...

From a Buddhist perspective, karma relates to the cosmic law of cause and effect and the impersonal law of morality [moral causation], they are intertwined, that is, one action gives birth/rise to another-things exist because other things exist[rain falls, sun shines plants grow we eat etc] and in regards to ones own actions-skilful actions give birth to wholesome results unskilful to unwholesome results...

Neuroscientists have found when carrying out experiments on humans, that certain parts of the brain tend to noticeably  "light" up when pleasant thoughts[thoughts of loving kindness] are activated, which tend to stimulate more wholesome thoughts creating a sense of well being-A similar effect to how synthetic drugs activate certain parts of an addict's brain...

::) Some might view all this as a somewhat "selfish" approach, that is, only helping others because one gets to feel good about themselves, but regardless of the how and why one is driven/motivated to do it, in the long run it helps to make the world a more friendlier place  :icon_bunch:...Plus for the depressed person to think about how to help others will take their mind off  "self" centred thoughts-the fuel that drives depression...

So even though we might see all this from different perspectives, "god or no god" the end result remains the same...

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Zenda on September 02, 2011, 03:16:50 PM
Kia Ora,

::) My original intention for starting this thread, was more so along the lines of the "physiological" happenings in/to ones brain...

::) However if a person believes the feel good feelings they get from helping others are some kind of "reward" from a god,[more supernatural than physiological] then so be it...Each to their own beliefs I guess...

Thank you to those who have participated so far...It's interesting to see how we tend to view/see things...[how  our mind works]

Metta Zenda :)

Like many other things I think it has both a physical and a spiritual component. I'd think that it feeling good to help someone else would be good for the survival of the species, which would explain it in evolutionary terms. I do believe that it is a good and right thing to do in a spiritual sense as well. Hospitality has always been important among Heathens. Once when Thor was out traveling he came upon the cabin of a farmer (at least I think it was a farmer) who offered him lodging for the night. Thor then killed his two goats to provide a meal which he shared with the farmer and his family (Thor later brought the goats back to life). It is such a give and take exchange between two people that creates a bond, even if only for a single night, and I think that these kinds of connections are good for both the physical and spiritual/emotional health of all involved. This exchange doesn't always have to be for money or material things either. Sometimes all you may get is the knowledge that you helped someone, but that still is something.

I think that it makes me feel good because I can do something that has a positive effect on someone. It gives me interesting things to do with my free time. I make friends. Believe me, I get a whole lot more out of it than what I put in.

Cindi

I enjoy helping others when I am able and it does make me feel happy... I don't feel that I really need a reason beyond that

Quote from: Stephe on September 02, 2011, 09:30:03 PM
A) Well I believe God is part of every person (God = Love) so yes God feels our happiness and our sadness.

B) Our humanity and our animal instincts etc are what makes up part of who we are as well.

C)  I have a VERY simplistic view of religion: God is Love, God/love is inside each of us. We choose whether to let this become 'activated' or not.

Another simple way of viewing this is think of God's love as light, we can either lets Gods love shine though us or we can create a shadow blocking his love from others, it's our choice.

I honestly think too many people make religion/faith way too complex. People read all the religious books too literally and miss the forest for the trees. And the whole afterlife concept is so limiting, most things I have read assume that it is an extension of what we experience now. For all I know my "afterlife" is simply the chain reaction of my influence on people/the world after I am gone.. If love is part of me and my love continues on after I am dead, then I am still alive.. That's why I don't dwell on that stuff and concentrate on how I live and treat people right now.

Back to your original topic, God's love inside us wants to be used and when we help others for no personal gain, that's showing them our inner love for them and it's why it feels good. I understand there is a chemistry and biology behind all this "feeling good" but my faith is, there is more to it than simply chemistry.

wow we think very much alike in this regard :)

God is love
love is God
We make a resting place in our hearts for god/love

Quote from: Pinkfluff on September 02, 2011, 11:16:54 PM
Like many other things I think it has both a physical and a spiritual component. I'd think that it feeling good to help someone else would be good for the survival of the species, which would explain it in evolutionary terms. I do believe that it is a good and right thing to do in a spiritual sense as well. Hospitality has always been important among Heathens. Once when Thor was out traveling he came upon the cabin of a farmer (at least I think it was a farmer) who offered him lodging for the night. Thor then killed his two goats to provide a meal which he shared with the farmer and his family (Thor later brought the goats back to life). It is such a give and take exchange between two people that creates a bond, even if only for a single night, and I think that these kinds of connections are good for both the physical and spiritual/emotional health of all involved. This exchange doesn't always have to be for money or material things either. Sometimes all you may get is the knowledge that you helped someone, but that still is something.

Kia Ora,

::) Many moons ago I remember having quite a fascination with Norse mythology...But alas today apart from knowing that Thursday was named after Thor the god of thunder, my mind's a blank....

Metta Zenda :)

What is worse is not being able to help somebody when you want too. I am like 55 miles away from any place to send someone some money, they need the money by this morning and i have to drag my 88 yr old mother with me. She can have bathroom issues if i don't have everything timed right that can be a mess. And paypal now wants a credit card number unlike a few yrs ago where all they needed was your bank account. This situation is hurting me and not making me feel good at all. So the exact opposite can happen when you can't help someone. It can make you feel very very bad.  :(

Quote from: Zenda on September 02, 2011, 10:52:59 PM

Kia Ora Stephe,

Thanks for your response...

::) Am I right to believe when you speak of a "god" you're referring to an energy force that's in and around all life forms ? [ life's energy force= "Chi"]...

From a Buddhist perspective, karma relates to the cosmic law of cause and effect and the impersonal law of morality [moral causation], they are intertwined, that is, one action gives birth/rise to another-things exist because other things exist[rain falls, sun shines plants grow we eat etc] and in regards to ones own actions-skilful actions give birth to wholesome results unskilful to unwholesome results...


::) Some might view all this as a somewhat "selfish" approach, that is, only helping others because one gets to feel good about themselves, but regardless of the how and why one is driven/motivated to do it, in the long run it helps to make the world a more friendlier place  :icon_bunch:...Plus for the depressed person to think about how to help others will take their mind off  "self" centred thoughts-the fuel that drives depression...

So even though we might see all this from different perspectives, "god or no god" the end result remains the same...

A) Correct and I believe any religion/thought process that preaches "love and respect other people" is well serving the same God I do. And yes I believe in karma too :)

B) It is selfish. I highly doubt anyone would go out of their way to help other people if they got absolutely -nothing- in return. Feeling good is what Love provides to life, most of the things that mentally make us truly happy are related to love but the human part of us is also selfish. It's back to that other question about what makes up the other part of us that isn't God love. It's just how we are and we have to accept we aren't perfect! 

Thanks for bringing this up, it helped clarify some of my thoughts on this.

Because I empathize. When people around me feel bad, I feel bad; when people around me feel good, I feel good. Not really that complicated.

Oh, and it also makes me feel useful - contributes to my sense of self-worth that I am able to be helpful.

Quote from: Sarah7 on September 04, 2011, 11:23:55 AM
Because I empathize. When people around me feel bad, I feel bad; when people around me feel good, I feel good. Not really that complicated.

Oh, and it also makes me feel useful - contributes to my sense of self-worth that I am able to be helpful.

Kia Ora Sarah,

::) So in order for you to maintain a positive state of mind, you should only associate with "happy" people...So it truly is "Not really that complicated"...

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Zenda on September 08, 2011, 10:00:15 PM
Kia Ora Sarah,

::) So in order for you to maintain a positive state of mind, you should only associate with "happy" people...So it truly is "Not really that complicated"...

Metta Zenda :)

Rarely an option I'm afraid. People are never just happy in my experience. They are everything. And you accept the good with the bad.

Kia Ora,

::) The law of attraction...If you can maintain a "happy" disposition  then you are bound to attract the like minded...

::) Miserable people will keep away because your happiness will make them even more miserable  ;) ;D

Metta Zenda :)

This isn't really a philosophical answer, but it's simply because we're wired that way as social creatures.  It helps us play nice together.  It is interesting that both helping and being helped make us feel good.  I read some kind of study a while ago that concluded that you actually do create a stronger connection (more serotonin or oxytocin is released, I forget which) with somebody by letting them help you than by actually helping them.  Something to keep in mind.

The other symbiotic thing I love about humanity that also has been mentioned here is the infectious nature of happiness.  You can make people around you happy just by simply being happy yourself.  Cool huh?  That does say something about the kind of people you should surround yourself with too.  Also another one, we all know that being happy makes you smile, but did you know that smiling makes you happy too?  It's true!  Think about that one. :)

All of the above relate to our social-creature wiring :).

Quote from: Jen on September 08, 2011, 11:24:07 PM
This isn't really a philosophical answer, but it's simply because we're wired that way as social creatures.  It helps us play nice together.  It is interesting that both helping and being helped make us feel good.  I read some kind of study a while ago that concluded that you actually do create a stronger connection (more serotonin or oxytocin is released, I forget which) with somebody by letting them help you than by actually helping them.  Something to keep in mind.

The other symbiotic thing I love about humanity that also has been mentioned here is the infectious nature of happiness.  You can make people around you happy just by simply being happy yourself.  Cool huh?  That does say something about the kind of people you should surround yourself with too.  Also another one, we all know that being happy makes you smile, but did you know that smiling makes you happy too?  It's true!  Think about that one. :)

All of the above relate to our social-creature wiring :).

Kia Ora Jen,

::) If one learns to exploit their "social-creature wiring" the benefits are endless...

::) BTW Jen, laughter has the same/or very similar effect as the smile...So keep those chemical cocktails pumping  ;)  ;D

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Jen on September 08, 2011, 11:24:07 PM

The other symbiotic thing I love about humanity that also has been mentioned here is the infectious nature of happiness.  You can make people around you happy just by simply being happy yourself.  Cool huh? 

It is. I find if I walk around with a big smile on my face, everyone seems happier. Just saying a quiet Hi with a smile to everyone you run across spreads happiness :)

Quote from: Amazon D on September 04, 2011, 06:17:55 AM
What is worse is not being able to help somebody when you want too.

Kia Ora Amazon,

::) One can only do what they can with the resources they have at hand...To feel compassion and empathy for other sentient beings, are wholesome traits to have...However these feelings shouldn't get in the way of ones sense of well being, in other words one should not cling to these "emotional" states, to do so will not benefit anyone...

Metta Zenda :)   

Quote from: Zenda on September 01, 2011, 12:36:20 AM
Kia Ora,

::) A simple question to ponder...When you help others-why does it make you feel good ?

I don't mean "paid" work, but helping someone for no monetary reward...Just because you can see they need help...

Metta Zenda :)

Because helping of others has throughout history largely been what helped humanity to survive, so the behavior was naturally selected.

So ultimately the reason I or for that matter anybody enjoy helping people is probably because we have been genetically conditioned to enjoy it for survival purposes.

Even if it's just extending my knowledge, I like to help people because one day some of them may actually want to pay it foward and help others because of me and that's a nice cycle to get going.

I help people because our world today rejects so much of the relatedness we all crave, need. It can completely help you get out of the gutters if someone so much as offers you a hand when you fall down.

It's complex, there are both narrative and visceral elements. Just because of sympathy, emotions are infectious, contagious. So that lower emotions make us feel bad, and being around sad people makes us sad. In helping them, in elevating their mood, they return the favor and elevate ours. Most times.

There then is the conceptual emotional influences. We see them as images, as down and out, something unfair has happened to them, and they are decent human beings. We don't feel good about helping a nasty person that doesn't deserve it -- in fact, the misery of a nasty person is more pleasurable than their happiness, when we add the conceptual level.

Our intentions are fulfilled, and we did what we meant to. Just the small success, and accomplishment of an intention is in itself pleasurable.

Then there is the higher, noble reason, which has nothing at all to do with what it feels like. It sees people's true natures without joy or sorrow, and affects their, and wishes for their well-being regardless of how we see them, or whether we think they deserve it, or if they're lower or higher than us. It does right for right's sake, even when it isn't pleasurable at all.   

It makes me feel good because it creates a link to my soul and female side and because a simple thing can have a profound effect on a person and leading to a chain reaction of others helping others

Because in that instance of helping someone, you matter to them and you helped another human being that was in need.

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QuoteWhen you help others...why does it make you feel good?

empathy [Noun]

- the intellectual identification of the thoughts, feelings, or state of another person
- capacity to understand another person's point of view or the result of such understanding

Yes, It does whether it is returned or not. I just accept the opportunity of someone who needs some kind of help. It is very gratifying.If it helps get them thru a bad day, so be it.

Quote from: Anatta on September 01, 2011, 12:36:20 AM
Kia Ora,

::) A simple question to ponder...When you help others-why does it make you feel good ?

I don't mean "paid" work, but helping someone for no monetary reward...Just because you can see they need help...

Metta Zenda :)

Getting paid or seeking emotional reward are simply a proxy or substitute for the ethic of reciprocity ("golden rule" et al).