Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So recently I had to go shopping for shoes with my mom and uncle. Now this normally wouldn't have been too bad, although I do wish I could try on some of the female shoes. Anyway, shopping that day ended up turning my day from a decent one to a crap one. Not only was I subjected to looking at pretty shoes I couldn't wear, but the shoe isle was also right across from the women's section. Not just the women's section either, the women's underwear section. So there I am trying on uncomfortable men's shoes while looking at both shoes and underwear that I'm not "supposed to" look at or wear or even try on. This made me extremely depressed for the rest of the day.

It wasn't just this one time either. I've found that I've been getting really depressed every time I go into a clothing store with my parents or uncle or anyone else. They make me feel uncomfortable to do anything so bold as, say, try on a skirt in a dressing room. Whenever I go into these stores, I'll see the clothes I desperately want to wear and get instant depression because I can't. I see a skirt? Boom, depression. I see a really pretty bra? Again, depression. It's even worse when I'm there trying on men's clothes for work or school or anything, because it's basically giving a big middle finger to what I really want.

Does anyone else have or has anyone else have had trouble like this? It's not like I can go shopping by myself due to my lack of a car...and a license (I really should take that permit test...). Cursed lack of sidewalks and nearby shopping centers! Anyway, thoughts?

It sounds like it's time to tell.

Quote from: Fighter on September 10, 2011, 06:31:25 AM
So recently I had to go shopping for shoes with my mom and uncle. Now this normally wouldn't have been too bad, although I do wish I could try on some of the female shoes. Anyway, shopping that day ended up turning my day from a decent one to a crap one. Not only was I subjected to looking at pretty shoes I couldn't wear, but the shoe isle was also right across from the women's section. Not just the women's section either, the women's underwear section. So there I am trying on uncomfortable men's shoes while looking at both shoes and underwear that I'm not "supposed to" look at or wear or even try on. This made me extremely depressed for the rest of the day.

It wasn't just this one time either. I've found that I've been getting really depressed every time I go into a clothing store with my parents or uncle or anyone else. They make me feel uncomfortable to do anything so bold as, say, try on a skirt in a dressing room. Whenever I go into these stores, I'll see the clothes I desperately want to wear and get instant depression because I can't. I see a skirt? Boom, depression. I see a really pretty bra? Again, depression. It's even worse when I'm there trying on men's clothes for work or school or anything, because it's basically giving a big middle finger to what I really want.

Does anyone else have or has anyone else have had trouble like this? It's not like I can go shopping by myself due to my lack of a car...and a license (I really should take that permit test...). Cursed lack of sidewalks and nearby shopping centers! Anyway, thoughts?

   You should take a bus and go yourself. If you haven't come out to your family come out to a friend and maybe they can go shopping with you. :)
  I completely know what youre talking about though, not being able to choose what goes on your body is very psychologically destructive for me. That's why I didn't stand for it any longer. I had to wait till i was out of my teen years though.

Quote from: Torn1990 on September 10, 2011, 12:21:45 PM
   
   You should take a bus and go yourself. If you haven't come out to your family come out to a friend and maybe they can go shopping with you. :)
  I completely know what youre talking about though, not being able to choose what goes on your body is very psychologically destructive for me. That's why I didn't stand for it any longer. I had to wait till i was out of my teen years though.

Definitely try this. It was super scary for me the first time, but it feels so wonderful afterward. If you have a female friend who will take you, it will be very easy. Everyone will think the clothes are for her.

Buying makeup is a little more tricky, since to get that perfect shade for your skin you have to try out samples in the store. People in those departments are very gay/trans friendly though.

What you could do is order your clothes from a catalogue company. This way you can choose what you want, try them on and the things that don't fit you can send back again. This way you don't need to go through the trauma of the shopping mall.

Quote from: Fighter on September 10, 2011, 06:31:25 AM
So recently I had to go shopping for shoes with my mom and uncle. Now this normally wouldn't have been too bad, although I do wish I could try on some of the female shoes. Anyway, shopping that day ended up turning my day from a decent one to a crap one. Not only was I subjected to looking at pretty shoes I couldn't wear, but the shoe isle was also right across from the women's section. Not just the women's section either, the women's underwear section. So there I am trying on uncomfortable men's shoes while looking at both shoes and underwear that I'm not "supposed to" look at or wear or even try on. This made me extremely depressed for the rest of the day.

It wasn't just this one time either. I've found that I've been getting really depressed every time I go into a clothing store with my parents or uncle or anyone else. They make me feel uncomfortable to do anything so bold as, say, try on a skirt in a dressing room. Whenever I go into these stores, I'll see the clothes I desperately want to wear and get instant depression because I can't. I see a skirt? Boom, depression. I see a really pretty bra? Again, depression. It's even worse when I'm there trying on men's clothes for work or school or anything, because it's basically giving a big middle finger to what I really want.

Does anyone else have or has anyone else have had trouble like this? It's not like I can go shopping by myself due to my lack of a car...and a license (I really should take that permit test...). Cursed lack of sidewalks and nearby shopping centers! Anyway, thoughts?

i feel the same just today i went shopping and tho my mom knows about me but well doesn't like me me. any who i was shopping with her and she took me to all this stores with hundreds of shoes and cloths i couldn't buy and i thought to myself did i die and go to hell? it was bad then she said ok go get some shoes and we can go so i went and got these violent and electic blue sneaker ballet flats or sneaker pumps which eva you prefer. now i thought i looked cute tho  everyone was sooooo judging me i didn't care :) and as i got up to go get them paid for my mother screamed at me well now she won't let me use my own money because she's scared i will buy a dress i mean i was going to ;) but that's my choice ! any who i just told you this ridiculously random story of my day to let you know your so not alone sweeti :) 

Quote from: Torn1990 on September 10, 2011, 12:21:45 PM
   
   You should take a bus and go yourself. If you haven't come out to your family come out to a friend and maybe they can go shopping with you. :)
  I completely know what youre talking about though, not being able to choose what goes on your body is very psychologically destructive for me. That's why I didn't stand for it any longer. I had to wait till i was out of my teen years though.

Actually I haven't really thought about the bus...can't believe that slipped my mind! I think I'll try that once I get some money, though the bus schedule around here is known to be kind of messed up (they almost completely stopped it from coming up here once).

Quote from: Lily on September 10, 2011, 01:35:41 PM
Definitely try this. It was super scary for me the first time, but it feels so wonderful afterward. If you have a female friend who will take you, it will be very easy. Everyone will think the clothes are for her.

Buying makeup is a little more tricky, since to get that perfect shade for your skin you have to try out samples in the store. People in those departments are very gay/trans friendly though.

I don't have any female friends I'm really close to unfortunately :(. At most I have my gay friend but he moved away to college. As for makeup, I've been really tempted to just get a bunch of dollar store crap and start with that for experimentation purposes.

Quote from: Jameve on September 10, 2011, 12:10:50 PM
It sounds like it's time to tell.

You don't know how many times over the past few months I've been thinking the same thing :-\.

Quote from: LilKittyCatZoey on September 10, 2011, 03:21:07 PM
i feel the same just today i went shopping and tho my mom knows about me but well doesn't like me me. any who i was shopping with her and she took me to all this stores with hundreds of shoes and cloths i couldn't buy and i thought to myself did i die and go to hell? it was bad then she said ok go get some shoes and we can go so i went and got these violent and electic blue sneaker ballet flats or sneaker pumps which eva you prefer. now i thought i looked cute tho  everyone was sooooo judging me i didn't care :) and as i got up to go get them paid for my mother screamed at me well now she won't let me use my own money because she's scared i will buy a dress i mean i was going to ;) but that's my choice ! any who i just told you this ridiculously random story of my day to let you know your so not alone sweeti :) 

Good to know I'm not alone :). I admire you for your bravery that day!

I was always trying avoid going into the women's department that very reason. Not anymore things have changed for me and they will for you also.

I relate to that a lot! Recently I've been daring to try on some more appropriate clothes with excuses (jeans "my ass doesn't fit guy's jeans, such a pain", and shoes "men's 7 are too big and don't fit well"), but I must always look for very androgynous stuff or else I get big eyes. It's really annoying to really want stuff but can't even look at it because there are people, and then you sigh thinking you can't even weat them anyway...