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ok so yea i don't want to go my school has never had someone willing not go but i don't want to wear a suit and take a another girl ... not sexist but my school makes the event like a wedding white dresses and all and personally i don't want to be a groom ever period. i know my mom wants me to go and everyone wants me to but in all honesty i will most prob not go any one think i should or shouldn't go?

I didn't go to mines for the same reason. It's not mandatory so if you don't feel like going, don't.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on September 11, 2011, 11:47:46 AM
I didn't go to mines for the same reason. It's not mandatory so if you don't feel like going, don't.

oh no at my school they don't give the option so i will just be bunking

I didn't go to mine either. I had nothing to celebrate.

I'm straight but I taking my best friend(who's bi) to prom  :D
I doubt I'll find "the one" by then so I've been pretty much planning this with her before summer even started.
Our prom is in May so I have a lot of time to give HRT to work its magic more.

I mean idk , are you sure you wanna miss prom?  There's nothing wrong with going in with a group of friends.

Quote from: Joeyboo~ :3 on September 11, 2011, 01:03:19 PM
I'm straight but I taking my best friend(who's bi) to prom  :D
I doubt I'll find "the one" by then so I've been pretty much planning this with her before summer even started.
Our prom is in May so I have a lot of time to give HRT to work its magic more.

I mean idk , are you sure you wanna miss prom?  There's nothing wrong with going in with a group of friends.

mines also may but like my school goes and her comes dude escorting the  girl etc and boys have to do things like this dance where i lift a my date into the air and well i can't do that i am only 51 kgs and not even or barely taller than most girls so yea lift someone lol y not just drop them for fun ?

Quote from: LilKittyCatZoey on September 11, 2011, 01:08:00 PM
mines also may but like my school goes and her comes dude escorting the  girl etc and boys have to do things like this dance where i lift a my date into the air and well i can't do that i am only 51 kgs and not even or barely taller than most girls so yea lift someone lol y not just drop them for fun ?

Wow that sounds terrible, what kind of school is this? Are you forced to bring a date. (are students paired up?) You could just show up without a date and not dance.

For my senior prom my friends and I rented nothing, no limo, no tuxes, no hotels for the after party - none of it.  Because we went to Winterland to do our dancing to the Grateful Dead.  We had real good windowpane were were saving for it, and we went to the city, shopped for records and tapes at Tower (Stevie Wonder's Talking Book on 8-Track), went to a restaurant we all loved (Mel's), went to the show and then hiked out at Ocean Beach and Lands End and watched the sun come up behind the Golden Gate Bridge.  That was what? (Way too long ago, that's what), almost 40 years ago and I've never regretted that decision for a second. 

I'm sure we:
-spent way, way, way, way less
-danced more
-had a better band
-looked better in our real clothes then the high school tot's playing adult dress up
-had our own cars, with our music systems in them, and we were free to go where we wanted, not to the 'official approved activity'
-had a better dinner than that formal stuff, (Really.  Real milkshakes served by girls on roller skates, or some place where your paying as much for the decor and the snob appeal as you are for the food?)
-got a hella lot higher (like third bardo)
-and oh yeah, I had some nice sex play that night too out in the dunes

Oddly enough our parents were thrilled, as they were all worried about the prom night drinking/driving/screwing thing.  They knew we were good kids and, well, what they don't know won't hurt them, but it's true we never drank at Dead shows.

are you sure you wanna miss prom?
Not just yeah, but hell yeah.  The fun you make is a hella lot more fun that the 'approved activities that have been sanitized for your protection" kind of almost fun that are constantly foisted on kids.

Quote from: Lily on September 11, 2011, 01:50:56 PM
Wow that sounds terrible, what kind of school is this? Are you forced to bring a date. (are students paired up?) You could just show up without a date and not dance.

its a conservative catholic school :-/

I don't think it's legal to make a prom/dance mandatory.  I went to a strict Catholic school and went to the prom, but it certainly wasn't mandatory.  I guess it could be unofficially "mandatory", but not truly.  Go wearing a jeans and t-shirt, then leave - they can't force you to buy or rent an expensive outfit or any outfit.  Do they shut the doors and make you stay until a designated hour as well?

Quote from: sonopoly on September 11, 2011, 02:53:02 PM
I don't think it's legal to make a prom/dance mandatory.  I went to a strict Catholic school and went to the prom, but it certainly wasn't mandatory.  I guess it could be unofficially "mandatory", but not truly.  Go wearing a jeans and t-shirt, then leave - they can't force you to buy or rent an expensive outfit or any outfit.  Do they shut the doors and make you stay until a designated hour as well?

only go once the formal speechs from the governing board are done which happens around 11 pm

around 11 pm

because everybody want's some speeches round 'bout 11pm - who's idea is that?



PS - lot of American high schools now have lock-in proms, or after proms events, DJ and casino games and such.  It's kinda like jail, but with fancy clothes.

I can kind of get that because the school is responsible for them, but I don't get the whole mandatory participation thing.

"kinda like jail but with fancy clothes" In my day it was real jail in fancy clothes for drunk driving!

Well the American Prom is kind of a unique deal (happily I might add).   I know the Brits have Proms that are totally different deals. (and sound like a good time too).  I know nothing about what's going on here, it almost sounds like a recital for dance students where they demonstrate what they know, combined into some sort of end of school/rite of passage/Quinceañera/Debutante Ball deal.  It does not sound like American Proms which tend to be the final 'hurrah' for the 'popular people' to lord it over everyone else one more time before reality sets in, combined with the worst aspects of American Conspicuous Consumption.

I am afraid rather unfortunately that the "american style" prom is sneaking its way into the UK. I had one at the end of school a few years ago and there was also one when we graduated university. I went to neither, made my own fun.

Does not sound as epic as Tekla's night though :D
I can hardly even remember what we did.

---

Anyway I would just, not go, if I did not want to. But that is me.

I did not go to mine cause no one wanted to go with me , cry, I had no self confidence about who I was , because I felt who I was not real.

Looking back I feel like I missed out I wish I could go back and go to mine but as a woman.

never went, never missed it, never wanted to go.

I went to my senior prom, but didn't go to any other dance the entire time I was in school.   So that we could get cheaper couple-priced tickets, a friend of mine went as my "date."

It thoroughly sucked!  The one saving grace was that I got the DJ to play "Girls & Boys" by Blur, and this was in 1995 when Blur was absolutely nothing in the States. ;D

Du bist sehr schön, but we haven't been introduced (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDswiT87oo8#)

Uhh I never knew everyone wou ld have so much hatred towards prom  ???
Eh I guess I just try to make the best of everything ::)

But zoey your school sounds like it'd be the exception. I doubt they can make you go, doesn't sound legal to me>.>

I'm pretty sure that a) she goes to a private school, so legal/not legal does not apply in a lot of stuff, b) she's in South Africa so that makes a difference too.

Quote from: tekla on September 11, 2011, 11:24:15 PM
I'm pretty sure that a) she goes to a private school, so legal/not legal does not apply in a lot of stuff, b) she's in South Africa so that makes a difference too.

the south African private school education system has such heavy standards and strict everything rules we well can be compared to China but our discipline is not to bad if your used to it but lets say a British student came here to our private schools they would mostly be expelled for lack of required discipline and therefore not worth teaching. i mean we had an American girl come to my school for a few weeks she cried for the first week because she kept being shouted at and given extra homework because she never stopped talking and never did her work ... she complained the school shouldn't care she doesn't want to do her work  ??? now that's weird for me to see anywhere but movies

Quote from: LordKAT on September 11, 2011, 08:53:28 PM
never went, never missed it, never wanted to go.

+1 to this...

my decision not to go was made infinitely easier by the early graduation and having already moved on to college by the time that semester rolled around.

DON'T WORRY I TOTALLY TOLD MY TEACHER TO GET A LIFE AND STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO GO SURE SHE GAVE ME A DETENTION BUT SO WORTH IT !!!

I thought you didn't have a choice.

Does not sound as epic as Tekla's night though

See the thing is Seras, I don't think it was all that epic.  It was good.  It was better and cheaper and far more akin to my vibe than the prom would be - but it wasn't epic, we were only practicing for epic.  It was epic with training wheels.  And we were doing that same deal (not always the Dead, but pretty much the shop at Tower, go to the show, watch the sun come up on the beach twice or more a month.  I wouldn't hit epic till my late 20s to late 30s.  By that time I was on group 3 (if group 1 was the HS gang, and group 2 was the college people - particularly at the Iowa State Home for the Bewildered) and that was back in Cali, and we had several college friends who moved out here, and still had one person from HS that still wanted to hit it, and a whole bunch of new people - some from work, a bunch of stand-up comedians, real hippies, people I had come to know working at concerts in SF - and those concerts and tours were way past epic.  Ann O. wouldn't refer to it as any sort of tour at all, in her world what we were doing constituted a massive and ongoing interstate crime spree with utter and complete disregard for existing moral standards or social decorum, and less than zero respect for the law(except we never hurt anyone, and we never ripped anyone off).

I set out running but I take my time
A friend of the Devil is a friend of mine
If I get home before daylight
I might get some sleep tonight

Point being, by senior year in HS I was way beyond having some adults throw a dress up party for me.  I did much better doing it myself.  I had the people from my school I cared about with me, and the others - well after nearly 4 years I wasn't getting weepy thinking that I might not ever see them again and this was our last time to be together, I was praying that I'd never see them again as long as I lived.  And pretty much I have not, so maybe prayer works after all.

But yeah, we were trucking easy in 73, but by 1984 it's was hyper-sonic.

When the police come you better let 'em in,
Gentlemen start your engines!
Don't forget to tell 'em what a sport I've been.
Gentlemen start your engines!
I got a head full of vintage TNT,
They're gonna blow me up'stead of burying me.
If you're lookin' for trouble, come here and sit with me.
Gentlemen start your engines!

I went with an acceptable-looking green shirt and standard black pants. I did "go" with anyone. Actually, only people in an actual couple did. No one ever asked a question. It was a boring night, and I left when I could. Nothing traumatising, though.

You don't have to have someone. Just go alone and reserve your table with a group of friends.

I skipped my prom too.  Lots of money, lots of people trying to impress others, etc.  I can't say I've ever regretted it, but I generally don't like formal social events.  If I had to go, I'd do what I do with the formal events I have to go to now: I'd do the minimum to be basically ignored and I would leave as soon as I could without violating too many social rules.

Or I'd suddenly develop a stomach flu the day of the prom.  (As gross as this might sound, one sickness that nobody will question is if you say that you will need to be close to a toilet due to your sickness - it doesn't matter how you look, if you have a fever, etc - nobody is going to question that)

What the point in lying?  All that does is make you look bad.  If you don't want to, tell them that.

Quote from: tekla on September 20, 2011, 11:59:49 PM
What the point in lying?  All that does is make you look bad.  If you don't want to, tell them that.

I thought that this was mandatory or near-enough-to-mandatory to not be able to get out of simply by saying you don't want to go.  And that the person would look bad for not going regardless.

lol after my punishment they told me now we are sure i will come lol as if :) i will just say i am then take your advice and not pitch any who pls lock this thread

There are 2 ways *I* could go about this situation if I were in your shoes.

1- Don't go at any cost
The simple method. You can't hate yourself for being there if you're not there.
Unless they physically chain you and drag you, there's nothing in this world that will make you go if you don't want to.

2- "You want it, You got it!"
Go. But break every single gender rule/role known to man. Also be sure to tell the girl going with you before hand what she's in for and the underlying causes. If you have her support great if not screw her. Have fun.. stick it to the man and watch them reap what they've sown. If breaking gender roles is not an option then you can go the other way.. act the role.. extensively. Either way you have the comfort of knowing that this is only a stage performance.

3- There's no #3 - There was one though.. and it was called Submit and Surrender: You're in absolute despair and you do what everyone wants you to do to please them.. Side effects include getting stuck in this cycle for an extra few years until you can't do it anymore.

I know that your situation is unique and not all of this may be realistic.. but just hang in there and this too will pass, you'll see!

thanks now LOCK THIS THREAD

Quote from: LilKittyCatZoey on September 21, 2011, 01:32:01 PM
thanks now LOCK THIS THREAD

If you wish it, sure! :)

Thread locked.


(Psst... don't think it's this easy, everyone!  This request is only filled if asked by the original poster.) :laugh: