Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Some things been going around in my head and the head of "SO" recently.  The question a ladies clothing came up. How oftern do you dress up she asked. The truthfull awnser is rairly. Clothing sometimes helps me realx but its not everything.

Should I want to dress up, ware make-up and so on.

What is your ideas on this? How do or did you cope and what did you do in this area?

Please help LUCY
Ow come on tell me what you think, I know most of you have an oppinion on this.

Lucy

Um, well given that I have been 'lounging' around for a while (it's past my bed time, weeeee!) Um, let me put it this way, I am perfectly presentable for house company. An just shoes away from being ready to go to town.

^*shrug* I suppose that implies that I am in makeup or the like but that is not the case (I almost never wear the stuff... I fail to see the point basically.) so um, yeah.

My idea of 'dressing' to relax involves slippers; the rest really doesn't matter. (Jeans and sweatshirt at the moment, and that is common for this time of year. Once warm, Jeans and t-shirt I suppose.)

So, um, yeah. (again.) It's a data point if nothing else I suppose.

Ball gown, Tiara and crystal slippers....

Seriously.... I slob around in sports pants and a t-shirt (not even a bra and underwear).

I guess pre-op it is different as you are to be able to wear the clothes you want. When I get in the first thing that comes off is the bra...

I guess most GG's can relate to this.

Buffy

Also wear whatever you are comfortable in.Skirts will always be nice to wear

Usually a sweater or blouse depends on the weather and one of my signature short skirts no shoes around the house, to go out slip on some slip on 2" heals fluff my hair and we are off.

Slacks and a t-shirt or maybe a really, really big Super Clean (or whatever automotive product it was) t-shirt that I wear as a nightshirt to bed sometimes.  Although somedays the Super Girl PJs (pink of course) come out of hiding.

My day to day job requires getting a bit dirty sometimes so even there it is slacks or jeans and a t-shirt or occasionally a nice top.

As for what you should want to do and how much of it, that you have to decide for yourself.

When I was like pre-pre-op, like before I had officially started to transition, I always just sort of wore androgenous clothing, I went through sort of a "gay boy" stage, where I wore a lot of rings and earrings and stuff, and when I went out I would sometime wear mascara, and stuff like that, but I mostly just sort of dressed andogenous like. Once I started to offically transition, I still just sort of kept the androgenous clothing, but I actually found myself wearing less makup, and way less jewlery. After I had a few clearings of my face I really just stopped wearing makeup alltogether. I was really concerned about passing as just me, without any crutches or adornments, and I was afraid that makeup would be away of giving me a false sense of passing, like i was trying to make myself up to look like a girl, but not be a girl.

becuase of the work that I am in, around a lot of men and other competitive girls all the time, I wear makeup and stuff at work, but when I am just at home, and just casual everything comes off. The makeup, and specially the bra. I just hang around the house in comfoy clothes. I love comfy cotton pajama bottoms and a tank top. Just everyday dress is usually just jeans and a fashionable top of somekind, very little makeup if any. I keep my hair short, so I usually don't spend to much time on that.

You just have to find your dress and style, and I found it to be always best for me if I just let it come natural, and just try to stay close to me. As far as dressing up and wanting to wear makup and stuff thats just up to you and your motivations, what are you getting out of it, what do you want from it, how it makes you feel etc.. I don't think there is any standard. My grandmother and aunts got up at the crack of dawn everyday and "put on their faces", but that was just ther generation.

okay that was a convulted mess  ;)

-pass-

Quote from: Lucy on February 21, 2007, 02:35:03 AM
Should I want to dress up, ware make-up and so on.

Of course not. You just do whatever is best and comfortable for YOU. There are no rules here, no qualifications.

In fact, I was just having an email conversation with a girl here at work, me complaining about how I cannot find shoes that fit properly, and she said:

When are you going to get it that girls are never comfortable, only the not so cute girls are comfy.  If you want to look good it's gonna hurt.  The other option is Sweats, sneakes and Hoodies they are awesome, but they are not allowed at work.

QuoteWhat is your ideas on this? How do or did you cope and what did you do in this area?

I wear women's clothing exclusively now, but it's SO subtle that people at work (who don't know about me yet) either don't notice or don't care. Just women's sweaters, pants (kind of a necessity after six months HRT), knit tops underneath... that sorta thing.

At home and outside work it's boot-cut jeans, oversized comfy sweaters (I love long, well-worn cardigans), hoodies, pajamas... 1.25" heel Penny Loafers - which darn it FIT me perfect, but I hate adding any height, and cannot find other shoes...

Cosmetic makeup and jewelry tends to annoy me. A touch of barely-coloured lip gloss (it's winter after all), moisturizer and maybe some powder to kill any shine, and I'm good.

I WILL get my ears pierced though, darn it. Someday. Someday.

It's apparently andro enough that some people think I'm a guy, some a girl, and either way the clothing apparently doesn't raise any eyebrows.

Kate

Quote from: Kate on February 21, 2007, 10:19:23 AM
I WILL get my ears pierced though, darn it. Someday. Someday.

I must be a glutton for pain.  I got my ears pierced twice and now I'm looking at getting my first tattoo.  I never had a tattoo before because the ones I liked would not have been appropriate for a guy.

Melissa

Quote from: Melissa on February 21, 2007, 10:50:26 AM

Quote from: Kate on February 21, 2007, 10:19:23 AM
I WILL get my ears pierced though, darn it. Someday. Someday.

I must be a glutton for pain.  I got my ears pierced twice and now I'm looking at getting my first tattoo.  I never had a tattoo before because the ones I liked would not have been appropriate for a guy.

Melissa

Tats are cool I have several, my most painful piercing was/were my nipples

Its very kind of you all to awnser but Im still not sure about how I feel about clothing, the thing is it really doesnt bother me weather I dress femm or not. So just for the comfort of the people around me I choose not to. Am I missing something, should I be feeling differently or not.

Many thanks

LUCY

Quote from: Lucy on February 21, 2007, 04:07:04 PM
Am I missing something, should I be feeling differently or not.

No Lucy, you are YOU. You "should" be feeling whatever you feel. If you don't want to crossdress, there's nothing wrong with that. If you DID, there's be nothing wrong with that either.

I only started wearing women's clothing in public a few months ago, and mostly only because I'm transitioning - though I'll admit now that I AM, it IS much more... normal? Proper? Congruent? Still, I've apparently never had a *compulsion* to do it.

Just stay true to yourself and you can't go wrong ;)

Kate

Quote from: Kate on February 21, 2007, 05:39:42 PM...
Just stay true to yourself and you can't go wrong ;)

Kate

Exceedingly good advice that I feel is worth special note.

But also note that being true to yourself can be hell. It IS worth it however, I think.

Generally, feminine cut 'UnderArmor' compression tops and women's jeans, but then I am still functioning in 'male mode'.

I have dressed when going to therapy and will begin doing so to my group meetings, shortly.

I'm pretty much a casual kind of girl and do not anticipate too much departure over the transitional continuum.

What is really funny is I received the same advice from my therapist.  It is really to have some comfort with yourself.  Honestly I am not sure the cloths I have will fit after some time on HRT. 

With that being said, I noticed how this is not discussed much.  But there is very little discussion on how ones cultural and subcultural background plays into transition.  I noticed that my years in the indie/twee pop scene have always played an influence on me and the way I dress just for comfort.  I guess I am a pop girl at heart, and I have noticed how much it influences how I dress.  No matter what I am still a twee kid, and it is going to influence my transition. 

People that worry too much about dressing are crossdressers or ->-bleeped-<-s and should consider getting a second opinion about their so called gender issues

Lucy,

My favorite piece of woman's clothing is a waist cincher because I want my waist to be smaller.  I purchased that several months ago.  It does work but it is uncomfortable.  I do not tend to wear it because it is hard to move.  However I can wear it under men's clothing and if someone asks about it I can tell them it is a back brace.

I also purchased my first bra about a year ago. (It was very embarrassing and it was an uncommon size.)  I wanted to see what size I am.  I could never understand all the calculations so that I guessed.  I figured I needed a big band and a small cup.  The band size was tight and the cup was big. A year later the band is be too big and the cup size is correct.  (Two years of hormones do work but they are really slow!)  Currently it would be more comfortable to wear a bra than not.  My breasts hurt if I walk too quickly or bump into something.  I guess I am a free spirit lady and do not wear a bra!  :)

I have access to plenty of makeup but I have not felt the need to use it.  I would need a lot more than makeup to pass as a girl.

As a very young girl (pre-school) the girls would dress up and it was fun!  When I was an adolescent girl I did dress up in private a couple of times and I could have easily passed in public as an attractive young girl.

When I decided to try to be a man I developed an extreme phobia to do anything that might be regarded as feminine.  Not even for a Halloween Party would I consider looking feminine. I unlearned all feminine things that once felt comfortable.  Now I dress with loose shirts because I hide my breasts.

I will not win the fashion show!

Well, I am pre-everything and I wear a big T-shirt and underwear around the house. Sometimes I wear sleep shorts. All in all, what ever is comfortable.

Around the house I am most always in a tube top, no bra. Blue jeans and a long sleeve blouse. When I am going out and about I usually get dolled up.

Deb

Quote from: Yvonne on March 19, 2007, 01:47:08 AM
People that worry too much about dressing are crossdressers or ->-bleeped-<-s...

So pretty much every fad-chasing, style-obsessed genetic girl is a crossdresser or TV?

(eyes wife suspiciously - you should see her closet. The girl has like everything Newport News has to offer)

Funny though, last night my therapist was trying to encourage me to wear more feminine things, get earrings, (more) female glasses, skirts... if I want to push my passing luck that is.

And I just kept thinking, "but I don't WANNA!" She warned me that, "Oh you probably will, once you're out, most TSs kinda go crazy for awhile living through being a teenager for a couple years."

But I don't think so... I experimented a bit with super-femme stuff years ago, but it never really "took." I think I admire "cool" looks more than "sexy." Ya know, the right combo of jeans and a jacket, or pants and the perfect cardigan.

It kinda makes me worry a bit. I mean, not to sound like "Oh, I'm so super-TS because I don't care about sexy clothes" or anything, but I *dislike* skirts (on me). I *dislike* super-femme stuff. I *dislike* most jewelry (it's annoying). I'd rather NOT paint my nails. I hate pumps and heels. It kinda makes me wonder the OTHER way, like wait.. if I'm so "female inside," shouldn't I KINDA like these things?

And yet, I do hate super-male clothing. I just feel STUPID in it. And I love casual girl clothes that look good on me.

Oh well. I'm babbling now. I shall cease.

Kate

Quote from: Kate on February 21, 2007, 10:19:23 AM

I WILL get my ears pierced though, darn it. Someday. Someday.

It's apparently andro enough that some people think I'm a guy, some a girl, and either way the clothing apparently doesn't raise any eyebrows.

Kate

Kate....I got mine both pierced almost 3 weeks ago, and was afraid it would be all anyone at work noticed, or talked about.  Instead, it was a blessedly anti-climax.  Everyone noticed, and no one cared, and all was business as usuall the next day!  I think it's simply more acceptable today, so.....why wait, 'darn it'!
BTW....you'll love the look, and the feel.  Enjoy.

Bev

Quote from: Yvonne on March 19, 2007, 01:47:08 AM
People that worry too much about dressing are crossdressers or ->-bleeped-<-s and should consider getting a second opinion about their so called gender issues

I do have to say that untill I am able to move to a new place, and am finacially on my way to transition in a job that I can keep while doing it, My house feels like the only place to "be myself" Though I never got into the whole dress up thing( simply reminds me of what I am not right now) I can relate to someone who gets something out of cute "house clothes". I am simply too self concious(sp?) to be myself anywhere else.

Darn! I go to the manicurist twice a month!  I enjoy nice, age-appropriate shoes ;), nice slacks, rayon and silk blouses, beautiful purses.  I do wear makeup when I go out to an special event.  Geez! l may have made a mistake with my SRS; I am so bummed right now, for perhaps I am not TS after all. ;) ;D

tink :icon_chick:

Quote from: Kate on March 22, 2007, 10:17:51 AM

Quote from: Yvonne on March 19, 2007, 01:47:08 AM
People that worry too much about dressing are crossdressers or ->-bleeped-<-s...

So pretty much every fad-chasing, style-obsessed genetic girl is a crossdresser or TV?

(eyes wife suspiciously - you should see her closet. The girl has like everything Newport News has to offer)

Funny though, last night my therapist was trying to encourage me to wear more feminine things, get earrings, (more) female glasses, skirts... if I want to push my passing luck that is.

And I just kept thinking, "but I don't WANNA!" She warned me that, "Oh you probably will, once you're out, most TSs kinda go crazy for awhile living through being a teenager for a couple years."

But I don't think so... I experimented a bit with super-femme stuff years ago, but it never really "took." I think I admire "cool" looks more than "sexy." Ya know, the right combo of jeans and a jacket, or pants and the perfect cardigan.

It kinda makes me worry a bit. I mean, not to sound like "Oh, I'm so super-TS because I don't care about sexy clothes" or anything, but I *dislike* skirts (on me). I *dislike* super-femme stuff. I *dislike* most jewelry (it's annoying). I'd rather NOT paint my nails. I hate pumps and heels. It kinda makes me wonder the OTHER way, like wait.. if I'm so "female inside," shouldn't I KINDA like these things?

And yet, I do hate super-male clothing. I just feel STUPID in it. And I love casual girl clothes that look good on me.

Oh well. I'm babbling now. I shall cease.

Kate

No, GG's are not ->-bleeped-<-s or crossdressers BECAUSE  Typically ->-bleeped-<-s and crossdressers are sexually aroused by wearing women's clothes or under garments.  ->-bleeped-<-s and crossdressers would never put on outer garments and cover up those red lace victoria secret specials and both will be found at your local 7-11 in their ball gown and 8" heels.  You're free to believe whatever you want; there's no shame to be a TV or a CD, but let's not confuse them with GG's.  Just my opinion, I don't intend to open a pro-tv, pro-gg, or pro-ts debate in these forums.