Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I reaized to day I have changed out my whole wardrobe. Everything is female. No one has said anything. No one is laughing at me. I always look for it but it has not come yet. I do get looks from women that makes me feel like they like what they see some men too. Lol. I know I don't pass but they seem to except the way I look. It makes me want to do more just to see how far I can go before someone says something to me. I feel very androgynous. It feels better but not good enough. I want more. My oldest daughter told me my face is starting to look more girly. Anyway I just wanted to say this and get your thoughts on it.

I called my start of 'full time' when there would be no doubt in anyone who saw me that I was at least making a serious attempt to look like a woman 24/7. No being lazy around the house or days of "bah screw it" and going out half trying etc. Def would have to inclu7de work and everything you do. I was very andro for 5 years before that but didn't really consider that "full time". At least that is where I put the marker at of full time.

fulltime to me means that you're fully expressing your gender identity and not compromising it at any time.

  I'm full-time now and to me it was just presenting myself as female 24/7 out in public. I still wear some of my male shirts around the apartment, if i'm not planning on going anywhere then getting all dolled up is a waste of time. My roomate is GG and she walks around in sweatpants and a tee shirt with no makeup all the time.  :D

thank you for your replies

Quote from: Forever21Chic on September 19, 2011, 02:22:41 AM
  I'm full-time now and to me it was just presenting myself as female 24/7 out in public. I still wear some of my male shirts around the apartment, if i'm not planning on going anywhere then getting all dolled up is a waste of time. My roomate is GG and she walks around in sweatpants and a tee shirt with no makeup all the time.  :D

I second this - I don't see a reason to wear makeup or do my hair if I'm staying in.  Or even shave! :s  I still wear girl clothes and use girl voice etc - I just feel like a woman who's lazing about.:)

I am me full time. I feel like I am doing all I can at this time. I dont look it. That is what is driving me crazy.

Quote from: jainie marlena on September 19, 2011, 12:54:29 AM
I reaized to day I have changed out my whole wardrobe. Everything is female. No one has said anything. No one is laughing at me. I always look for it but it has not come yet. I do get looks from women that makes me feel like they like what they see some men too. Lol. I know I don't pass but they seem to except the way I look. It makes me want to do more just to see how far I can go before someone says something to me. I feel very androgynous. It feels better but not good enough. I want more. My oldest daughter told me my face is starting to look more girly. Anyway I just wanted to say this and get your thoughts on it.

fulltime=living 24/7/365.5 as your designated gender/sex with absolute conviction

Quote from: Jamie Nicole on October 28, 2011, 01:32:18 AM
fulltime=living 24/7/365.5 as your designated gender/sex with absolute conviction

that sounds awfully vague. the first thing is, the designated gender/sex part. who knows what that is? my designated gender/sex didn't work out to well being as i was designated as male, and not by myself. then, how do you do the conviction part?

@jamie nicole I got the 24/7 but working on 365.5
@fullmoon19 my thread respect the way people say things dont call them out she was speaking to me. tell me your view it will get the same respect from me. all views are good views when people  are talking to me.

Quote from: jainie marlena on October 28, 2011, 01:40:36 AM
@jamie nicole I got the 24/7 but working on 365.5
@fullmoon19 my thread respect the way people say things dont call them out she was speaking to me. tell me your view it will get the same respect from me. all views are good views when people  are talking to me.

well, i already gave you my view, but if you don't wish to add more layers to the thread, i won't force you.

@fullmoon19
As  long as it does not point out others. vague is negative general is positive. What if we took her general view and built off of it by adding your view. Views can branch off into many directions which. Is what I like about them. They can even be the opposite of each other yet show how complex we are as awhole. I'm sorry that I came off a little strong. If we realized what we could do here an information tree would grow. What if we organized all of these thoughts and branched them like a family tree. It would tell a story of multible back grounds which is what creates opions that is why respect is to be given to all. If you would have given your view and some else would have said something negative than gave their view I would have done the same for you. Please add to what is said. Oh, I see what you mean I still have to use the men's room. What going to happen when I start to pass? Are the men going to get uncomfertable peeing in the same bathroom with me?

Quote from: jainie marlena on October 28, 2011, 01:40:36 AM
@jamie nicole I got the 24/7 but working on 365.5
@fullmoon19 my thread respect the way people say things dont call them out she was speaking to me. tell me your view it will get the same respect from me. all views are good views when people  are talking to me.

congratulations!!  I remember for an interview I gave before on a story that was done on me, how did I feel walking out my front door for the first time as "jamie nicole" and the day I decided to go full time.  My answer was "like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders because I decided to live as I was intended to".....
it isnt easy nor will it ever be easy but for me, it's made me a much stronger woman and I know it will you to.

a good place to shop for quality but affordable clothes is Victorias Secret.  A good place to shop for shoes of all kinds, is zappos.  I cant advise on makeup and such but what I did was rather creative.  I went into the local dept store, to the cosmetics counter (when I used to wear makeup) and said "I need help" and got a complimentary makeover and as each cosmetic was applied, I asked how to apply it and what shades/tones work best for me.

Quote from: Rukia87xo on September 19, 2011, 02:22:41 AM
  I'm full-time now and to me it was just presenting myself as female 24/7 out in public. I still wear some of my male shirts around the apartment, if i'm not planning on going anywhere then getting all dolled up is a waste of time. My roomate is GG and she walks around in sweatpants and a tee shirt with no makeup all the time.  :D

i saved or gave all my "male" clothes to my son.  no way in hell was I throwing away $100 polo shirts, polo/nautica/hilfiger/lauren jeans, sweaters, shirts!! no way in hell was i throwing or giving away a perfectly good Armani silk suit!!  thank goodness for sons! lol

Re: what is full time?

To *PRESENT* 24/7/365 in your chosen gender.

Simple as that,
Axelle

When people bring up the subject of living full time a question often comes to mind, are they talking about consciously or subconsciously?

In my mind I've been living as a female all my life, I am naturally feminine and people have commented on my feminine appearance and behavior since childhood...

I was made to at least attempt to 'act' like a man by society's ideals of what a man is supposed to be... The more I tried to 'act' like a man, the more I was told how feminine I was and how everyone was going to make a man out of me

So to me, It is about self acceptance and allowing yourself to be who you are without having to putting on an act or show

Quotewhat is full time?

It is exactly twice that of half time.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.  I was watching sports on TV earlier.

@V M
I never thought of it from your perspective. Subconsciously I was so over welmed by my manly looks and over come by them (blinded) I could only see my outward person ;however, since I have been coming  here I got to know the inner me. I am stronger on the inside. It amazes me how much I have changed outwardly just getting to know myself. Letting myself like the things that I know I really like. Subconsciously I'm all woman.
What I meant by full time was how I present myself to others. My question came about because I don't look like a woman so I was hurt a little thinking full time was passing or something. Noone has said anything in this thread about passing. Just being the woman you know you are and letting her shine. :)
@VeryGnawty
That made me giggle ;D

full time is living all day everyday as male or female

Quote from: Jamie Nicole on October 28, 2011, 01:32:18 AM
fulltime=living 24/7/365.5 as your designated gender/sex with absolute conviction

Hate to do this, but a year is 365.25 days; 4 years between each leap year, one quarter a day each of those four years to add up to that one extra day.
RLE for one year is required for SRS. SRS is required to live in my designated gender/sex. RLE is defined as living full time. How do you pull this knot loose?

I'm full time because I never purposely present myself as male. I wear the clothes that suit me, and I express myself how I am most comfortable. I think that is what full time is, just being yourself. It has nothing to do with passability, which I certainly don't have any of right now.

Quote from: Whitney on October 30, 2011, 12:50:43 PM
Hate to do this, but a year is 365.25 days; 4 years between each leap year, one quarter a day each of those four years to add up to that one extra day.

Hate to do this, but a year is 365.2425 days; 4 years between each leap year, except for years evenly divisible by 100 unless they are also divisible by 400.

Quote from: Lily on October 30, 2011, 01:45:44 PM
Hate to do this, but a year is 365.2425 days; 4 years between each leap year, except for years evenly divisible by 100 unless they are also divisible by 400.

lol

Quote from: Lily on October 30, 2011, 01:45:44 PM
Hate to do this, but a year is 365.2425 days; 4 years between each leap year, except for years evenly divisible by 100 unless they are also divisible by 400.

Did you have to bring maths into this? You've given me a headache now      ;)

In the details i've been sent by the Gender clinic in London it said that i've got to do 2 years of RLE before i'd be considerd for SRS, the downside of this for me is that until I can lose my facial hair I wont have the confidence to go out in public much as female let alone full time, I can't use heavy makeup to cover the 5 o'clock shadow & i've been advised that it could take a couple of years for electrolosys to remove this filthy, disgusting layer of hair. So it's going to be a long time before I can start my RLE

I feel this stipulation is unfairly harsh on those who have confidence issues from either facial hair or overly masculine features so in answer to your question of "what is full time" i'd say it's an unfair hurdle to place infront of someone who's already having a hard enough time in dealing with who they are.

Sorry if I took your original question out of context but i've spent the last month or so keeping things hidden from the strangers i'm forced to share a house with & it's doing my head in right now so i'm not in my normal mood of finding the bright side of things.

@jane
Environment plays a big roll in wheather one can go full time. I think that is why I pushed to see how far I could go with waering my clothes in public.

When you werq 24/8

Quote from: jainie marlena on October 30, 2011, 03:16:15 PM
@jane
Environment plays a big roll in wheather one can go full time. I think that is why I pushed to see how far I could go with waering my clothes in public.

I've been out in public as a woman & passed, unfortunately i've also had a few situations when i've not passed & the shadow was the obvious give away, it's resulted in me having to talk my way out of a fight with a group of drunk men twice now.
If it was just down to caring about what people think then I wouldn't give a damn & would have started RLE even with a facial shadow but when you aren't safe to walk the streets then you have to put making it to the next day before your desire to be comfortable with your who you are.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 30, 2011, 03:34:57 PM
When you werq 24/8

Shouldn't that be 24/7 or am I sleeping through enire days again?  :P

Quote from: Jane on October 30, 2011, 03:52:45 PM

Shouldn't that be 24/7 or am I sleeping through enire days again?  :P

Off topic:
There is in fact an eighth day. The government people don't tell you about it, but it's there.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 30, 2011, 03:57:19 PM
Off topic:
There is in fact an eighth day. The government people don't tell you about it, but it's there.

where could that day be found?

if theres an 8th day, i've been getting robbed regarding days off  ;D

Quote from: V M on October 28, 2011, 05:43:09 AM
When people bring up the subject of living full time a question often comes to mind, are they talking about consciously or subconsciously?

In my mind I've been living as a female all my life, I am naturally feminine and people have commented on my feminine appearance and behavior since childhood...

I was made to at least attempt to 'act' like a man by society's ideals of what a man is supposed to be... The more I tried to 'act' like a man, the more I was told how feminine I was and how everyone was going to make a man out of me

So to me, It is about self acceptance and allowing yourself to be who you are without having to putting on an act or show

Excellent post and I know where you are coming from. My early expriences were that I was often percieved as a girl in my teens and twenties and the most difficult thing was to try and pass myself off sucessfully as a bloke when I was younger . Going down the female route was more natural for me. I also used to get comments from my family like 'be a man' and I used to answer back 'no way'!

What is RLE? Thought I would get it by now in context but no not really.

Quote from: jainie marlena on October 30, 2011, 08:37:14 PM
What is RLE? Thought I would get it by now in context but no not really.

neither do i, but i'm guessing it's interchangeable with fulltime. similarly how srs and grs are. i've heard of people going into the workplace so men would understand they are getting paid more, and expected to take on more responsibility, while women go to understand they are now getting paid less and now have to take a back seat in the career world.

Quote from: FullMoon19 on October 30, 2011, 04:54:06 PM
where could that day be found?

Katherine McPhee knows.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 30, 2011, 03:57:19 PM
Off topic:
There is in fact an eighth day. The government people don't tell you about it, but it's there.

The Beatles sang about it... Eight Days a Week!  :laugh:

Z

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 30, 2011, 03:57:19 PM
Off topic:
There is in fact an eighth day. The government people don't tell you about it, but it's there.

   I KNEW IT!!!   :o

even the bible spoke of an eight day in the new testament

The Beatles sang about it... Eight Days a Week! 

Z


The Beatles' knowledge and genius so often goes unrecognized  :laugh:

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on October 30, 2011, 06:14:45 PM
Excellent post and I know where you are coming from. My early expriences were that I was often percieved as a girl in my teens and twenties and the most difficult thing was to try and pass myself off sucessfully as a bloke when I was younger . Going down the female route was more natural for me. I also used to get comments from my family like 'be a man' and I used to answer back 'no way'!

I started off in a similar situation as well - I always looked, talked, and moved more like a girl than a boy. When I was little (pre-puberty) nobody seemed to care much, but after that it was kinda a problem in school and whatnot. And having to correct someone who just gendered you female is one of the suckiest things ever.

It actually makes tracking when I went full time kind of confusing. I have a specific day (July 27th) where I officially stopped using my old name, got a new haircut, and plucked my eyebrows, but I hadn't passed as a guy in over a month by then. And I don't really have a dividing line for clothing - I still wear some guy's clothes cause I like 'em. I suppose starting off androgynous makes me lucky cause I'm entirely invisible now, but it helped make my teens and early twenties that much worse.

Quote from: jainie marlena on October 30, 2011, 08:37:14 PM
What is RLE? Thought I would get it by now in context but no not really.

Real Life Experience. The period where you are expected to live full time prior to approval for SRS (and it used to be for HRT too, but no more).

@sarah7 thanks for answering my question.