Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Basically, I've been a part of plastic surgery forums for years and years, primarily MMH, and I've talked to literally every one of the thousands of members who pass through forums like that (MMH has more traffic than this site does, plastic surgery is no small subject), and out of that, I know there are looney people out there; there truly have been many patients who receive optimal, fantastic results (mainly talking about rhinoplasty here) and yet after some months with the new result, they become extremely depressed and want their old nose back for "sentimental reasons" or "the old nose was more 'me'". It happens, some people make quick choices without profound reasons, and then regret those hasty life steps, no matter how positive things are. In other words, some people are indeed looney.

However, what I'm wondering, is has there actually been a documented instance across the history of the planet where a person suddenly realized they were not transsexual some months into RLE and then thought "Wow, I'm really a burly straight man after all, thank god I didn't get those hormones to be a woman, even though they wouldn't have harmed me regardless and I could have easily stopped HRT all the same with no negative side effects!"? I mean, I've heard of de-transitions before, once in a rare blue moon, but I'm wondering if RLE specifically has "opened anyone's eyes" that they aren't really transsexual. I don't mean that as in if someone decided not to transition because RLE made them realize how tough it would be emotionally for them to transition in the public eye, I mean strictly has RLE ever across the face of the world caused someone to "realize" they aren't Trans after all?

Just wondering.

Because if there hasn't been more than 100 cases worldwide where that has happened, RLE is based on no scientific evidence and is purely practiced out of discrimination; a purposed attempt at causing Trans to commit suicide (has happened in thousands of cases worldwide) or an attempt to "put-off" a physical transition as much as possible. Believe it or not, religious psychiatric professionals do not usually care if someone "cross-dresses", but concerning scientific, biological, physical surgery and transitioning, they are very against it, and I've heard this from professionals myself. They are happy to cater to cross-dressers, and to put folks through RLE, but when it comes to that letter, they want every excuse they can to make someone wait a year, commit suicide, or decide against biological transitioning altogether.

I mean really, are there actually any post-1974 Trans-friendly organizations that recommend RLE? Especially a year of RLE? Do any of these organizations recommend RLE because of specific statistics and case studies? From what I've heard from professionals myself, half the psychiatric courses in college don't even touch Transsexualism and being Transgender, how does one go about medically recommending/supporting RLE, much less deciding to cater to and medically care for Trans patients alltogether? Where do these things even come from, where do the therapists get their education on Trans subjects? Unlike plastic surgery, which I've read hundreds of published studies on, I've never read any well-documented material on the statistical and emotional pros and cons of RLE.

I know one drag queen who never have RLE and after SRS "she" collapse and live in strange in between, have BA and voice surgery, but still live mostly as a strange man
And now blame doctors for what they do to her  ???

Not sure how your introduction paragraph in this thread relates to RLE and de transitioning.

But yes, people do decide against transitioning because of RLE. I will take it a step further by saying people realize they are not transsexual because of RLE. And you have people who just know who they are despite RLE or not. Either way does not make or assume they are weak of wrong.

I talked to a couple guys last May who went through RLE. One stated that while doing RLE, he realized that he took something tragic from his past and tried to run from by pretending to be someone else than to "face the sorrow and grief of dealing with it head on."

The other guy told me that through RLE, he realized that he was actually a crossdresser identifying as male than a transsexual identifying as female.

Both of them remains to be allies for trans people because of the struggles they seen through their RLE.

A formal coven member told me how she thought she was trans. The actual transition on a full time and real time bases defined the areas a lot more clearer for her and realized she was "a stone butch" (her words) and not a man. The same happened from a girl i know who is dating a girl friend of mine on campus. She did keep her changed name tho....said she liked it more than her birth name.

I asked my therapist about the RLE question myself and if anyone ever realized they weren't trans because of it. Not only did she tell me yes, but half of our session was about those who realize they were not trans through the RLE. She did not give me names but she told me their stories.

I am not here to explain the scientific validity of RLE but I am here to say, I have seen how the process works and how people can realize they are something else but trans. These were two guys I met last May and another one from my last coven and an another on campus, and the other stories i have heard.

So if I had four personal encounters about the subject and my therapist had about 10 people in her office who realized they were not trans within the last year and a half, then I am sure that people do realize a lot more about themselves through RLE.

And to throw this out there....the two guys were not "big, burly men." So not all men who stop RLE and then realized they are male are not of the physical appearance that you described.

and to throw this out there: going fulltime caused any suicidal thoughts I had disaapeared. I am not saying this happens to everyone. But going fulltime actually made me feel wonderful where I no longer had to "hide" myself from other people. I can now go out, shop, study, go to classes, work, hang out with friends as the real me. that is emulated, not only in my psyche, but in the physical manifestation of the essence of who I am.

If no one has the desire to live as their gender identification but wants to jump right to the surgery. Well.....in my own case, that could never work. Because the entire outside world would see me as a male by wearing male things, having a male name, having a "M" on my documents and presenting male.....and only when I see myself naked (post srs) will I see the girl part of me. For me, presenting as male but know I am female would drive me to suicide (not presenting as female and identifying as female).

I wish those who RLE only to discover they are not trans would stay with the comunity and keep an eye out for those folks who are like them and not actually trans.

It would make detransing easier on those who have made a mistake.

Like Annah all of my suicidal ideation ceased when I went full time. (ok I do get it on a rare occassion still, but no where near like it ussed to be)

Quote from: cynthialee on October 21, 2011, 09:32:00 AM
I wish those who RLE only to discover they are not trans would stay with the comunity and keep an eye out for those folks who are like them and not actually trans.

Yeah these two guys i met who told their stories were absolutely amazing. And the neat thing is, they were not discussing their situation to try to "turn trans back" but they told their stories as a precautionary tale that one should fully explore themselves in any means possible before having life altering surgery. One of them are engaged to be married to a transgirl so it wasn't about anti trans issues. He met her during prior trans support groups.

I know of at least 3 on this board.

Please don't assume that everyone who de/re-transitions isn't trans. I did RLE for a year, lost employment, and could not continue for various reasons, including not being able to find an endo who would accept me as a patient without having health insurance. I am still transgender, regardless of external appearances.

Z

it's a sacred cow of the UK psychitric world that about 5/6/7/8/9% of transitioners will rveert back to original gender.
I think that may be right.
I have to say that people who long for their prveious male life can't have been transsexual in the first place and were somewhere else on the TG spectrum and shoudl not have transitioned.

I used to go to local gender clinic but saw so many pseudo-TS who claimed they didn't have to dress/work/live as women..,they laughed ta the group leaders suggestion that she teach them to wlak like women.   but I say if your reelly are MtF then you will want to be named, seen and work as a woman.  and want to lose the male sex bits.

there is a distinct difference between someone who thought they were transsexual but then realized they weren't through RLE or other Therapy and someone who is a transsexual but has no desire to get SRS or dress fulltime.

Those who do not want to get the operation or cannot get the operation are still trans in my eyes. But yeah we sorta beat that topic into tapioca pudding last week.