Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: lucaluca on September 24, 2011, 03:16:35 PM Return to Full Version
Title: coming out before therapy?
Post by: lucaluca on September 24, 2011, 03:16:35 PM
Post by: lucaluca on September 24, 2011, 03:16:35 PM
hey,
did you came out to your family before you went to therapy or afterwards?
i think i should do it after i went to therapy for a little while. let's say i go to therapy and realize that transition isn't right for me it would be pretty bad to come out before.
otherwise i'm pretty sure that it is the right thing for me and i want to talk with my family about it ;)
what is your experience?
did you came out to your family before you went to therapy or afterwards?
i think i should do it after i went to therapy for a little while. let's say i go to therapy and realize that transition isn't right for me it would be pretty bad to come out before.
otherwise i'm pretty sure that it is the right thing for me and i want to talk with my family about it ;)
what is your experience?
Title: Re: coming out before therapy?
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on September 24, 2011, 03:28:03 PM
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on September 24, 2011, 03:28:03 PM
I haven't come out to my family yet, but I already came out to my therapist last week through letter.
I think after is best. Once you come out you can't un-come out. >.<
I think after is best. Once you come out you can't un-come out. >.<
Title: Re: coming out before therapy?
Post by: Renee_ on September 24, 2011, 03:32:57 PM
Post by: Renee_ on September 24, 2011, 03:32:57 PM
Came out...
Online - 6 years ago
Friends IRL - 1 year ago
Therapist - 3 months ago
Neighbor - 1 month ago
Primary Care Doctor - last week
Family - last possible minute probably months in the future
start HRT - ASAP
Online - 6 years ago
Friends IRL - 1 year ago
Therapist - 3 months ago
Neighbor - 1 month ago
Primary Care Doctor - last week
Family - last possible minute probably months in the future
start HRT - ASAP
Title: Re: coming out before therapy?
Post by: azSam on September 24, 2011, 03:34:43 PM
Post by: azSam on September 24, 2011, 03:34:43 PM
I came out to everyone all at once back in 08, I did so before I started going to any type of therapy or support group meetings.
Title: Re: coming out before therapy?
Post by: versuchsanordnung on September 24, 2011, 04:33:29 PM
Post by: versuchsanordnung on September 24, 2011, 04:33:29 PM
Same here. I am currently coming out to one person at a time when an opportunity arises. So far i could not surprise anybody. I am nowhere near fulltime yet, but people start to notice things and either ask questions or a conversation drifts that way... And i simply dont lie.
Of course you cant un-come out.
But imho the timing is not a question of being in therapy or not. It has much more to do with self-acceptance and a strong sense of who you are or at least who you want to be. Some people need a therapist to reach that point, some don't.
Of course you cant un-come out.
But imho the timing is not a question of being in therapy or not. It has much more to do with self-acceptance and a strong sense of who you are or at least who you want to be. Some people need a therapist to reach that point, some don't.
Title: Re: coming out before therapy?
Post by: lucaluca on September 24, 2011, 04:34:35 PM
Post by: lucaluca on September 24, 2011, 04:34:35 PM
and was it the right choice to tell it before you went to therapy?
Title: Re: coming out before therapy?
Post by: versuchsanordnung on September 24, 2011, 05:33:48 PM
Post by: versuchsanordnung on September 24, 2011, 05:33:48 PM
I had no bad reactions so far. And i feel good about it. Thats what i can say so far. But of course what works for me doesnt necessarily work for you. I dont know your life, your relationships and so on...
Just one thing: a therapist cant tell you who you are. An official diagnosis doesnt change anything about you. A good therapy can clear away rocks on your road or help you find a way around them, but the hard decisions are yours, as are the consequences.
Just one thing: a therapist cant tell you who you are. An official diagnosis doesnt change anything about you. A good therapy can clear away rocks on your road or help you find a way around them, but the hard decisions are yours, as are the consequences.
Title: Re: coming out before therapy?
Post by: Sunnynight on September 24, 2011, 06:23:49 PM
Post by: Sunnynight on September 24, 2011, 06:23:49 PM
I came out to some of my family and my significant other before I went to therapy, but I felt pretty sure they would have positive reactions. There were some family members that I put off coming out to for a looong time, because I expected a negative reaction (which I was right about).
If you feel like the people you come out to will be supportive, then don't wait until therapy. If you feel like they won't be, then wait. It's important to have all the support you can get in your corner (be it therapists or family memembers) before enduring negative reactions.
If you feel like the people you come out to will be supportive, then don't wait until therapy. If you feel like they won't be, then wait. It's important to have all the support you can get in your corner (be it therapists or family memembers) before enduring negative reactions.
Title: Re: coming out before therapy?
Post by: Amaranth on September 25, 2011, 01:20:58 AM
Post by: Amaranth on September 25, 2011, 01:20:58 AM
Girlfriend (now ex because of this) - 4 months ago
Mom and friends - 3 months
Grandma - 2 months
Online - whenever I joined this site
Family - 2 weeks
Therapist - planning on it during the first appointment
Mom and friends - 3 months
Grandma - 2 months
Online - whenever I joined this site
Family - 2 weeks
Therapist - planning on it during the first appointment
Title: Re: coming out before therapy?
Post by: Forever21Chic on September 25, 2011, 02:45:02 AM
Post by: Forever21Chic on September 25, 2011, 02:45:02 AM
I didn't "come out" in a sense to family and friends this time around. I figured if they wanted to know they would ask me so i didn't take the time going around telling them. :D
Title: Re: coming out before therapy?
Post by: Jay-Bird on September 25, 2011, 06:12:45 AM
Post by: Jay-Bird on September 25, 2011, 06:12:45 AM
Yup, well kinda, came out to my female pals before my first therapy session, still haven't come out to my male friends - but I am sure a few already know.
My family is a whole other game, not telling them till I am well into transition or nearly finished.
My family is a whole other game, not telling them till I am well into transition or nearly finished.
Title: Re: coming out before therapy?
Post by: jainie marlena on September 30, 2011, 10:20:32 AM
Post by: jainie marlena on September 30, 2011, 10:20:32 AM
Slowly came out over a long time span. I still haven't been to theripy. Everyone knows so I live the way I want everywhere I go. Don't know if I'm even going to do theripy if I can work around it. Its hard to find one here. Money is tied up.