Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Tonight was the second time I've been asked if l was mtf or ftm. I was seeing a doctor in urgent care in guy mode  and I explained I had been on hrt for almost a year. At first she assumed I was ftm then wasn't sure and asked which direction I was transitioning.

I don't know how to take that. Should I see it I'm feminine enough that I could have been born female or that I'm masculine enough that it looks like the T has worked? I guess I was hoping to be mam'd before being asked if I was ftm.

Lol when I went to my endo for my Hrt prescription the nurse made small talk with me and the way she talked hinted that she assumed I was female to male.

I was in boy mode too, so I didn't take offense lol.

I'd lean towards taking it as a compliment. If she assumed that you were FtM it means that you looked more feminine than masculine. At least that's the way I see it. If she had just assumed that you were MtF to begin with it would imply that she could see you more as a man than a woman. If that makes any sense O.O

lol your confusing them so your heading in the right direction
jessi

Exactly! I'd rather have people think that I was FtM than think that I was male  ;)

I get that all the time now since i cut my hair and got my old implants removed. Personally i get much more respect especially from women who think i must be trying to be a guy.. and men stay away which is great for me..

It usually happens to trans women who look female but have a masculine presentation (for whatever reason). It's because most people conflate feminine with female in regards to trans folks (we are expected to look like men in dresses, not women in pants). Take it as a compliment; it means you aren't passing as a guy in guy clothes.

Thank you everyone.

Sarah7, that is what  just I needed to hear during this very bad week I'm having.  ;D

It means you're not nearly as masculine-looking as you thought you were.  ;D

When I went to the doctor last time, I decided to stop across the hall and get a free STD test (not active, just never had it done before haha). Anyhow, the doctor there when I went in to speak to him asked if I had a vagina o.O

Then, when I saw him again in half an hour (fast results!), he was apologizing a LOT in case he had offended me.

I dunno how I should take it... either way it isn't where I want to be... sooo.... meh, I actually don't think about it much, just kind of confuses me when they ask ><

I just got back from a visit with the doctor that does my hrt, she's a trans-woman herself. She said I look very androgynous and if I didn't have the shadow on my upper lip (I missed electroylsis this week) that I could pass either way.  ;D  A year ago there was no confusing me for anything but a guy! It's not where I want to be in the long run but I'm not complaining.

Excuse me while I go do a happy dance.

I hope you happy-danced all weekend long.  :D

I had an FFS/SRS surgeon tell me that when he first saw me, he didn't know if I was MtF or FtM. I sat in on a presentation he gave, and I was running on four hours' sleep... and as I did not feel like putting any effort into my appearance whatsoever (besides a minimum of foundation) so I just threw on some jeans, a t-shirt, my Chucks, and a hat. He said he didn't know either way, since I was dressed so androgynously.. until I showed up the next day undeniably dressed feminine.

That made me feel pretty good though. If I can confuse a surgeon who works on hundreds of people in the trans community, I must be getting somewhere. :-)

I have had that issue come up a few times.
I dont know if I should be tickled or pissed....

I think I would take it as a compliment.

A few months into HRT, I was working the trans booth at Pride. I was talking to an interested party when he asked me which way I was going. We had one or two cis people who worked the booth as allies, so I felt free to say, "What makes you think I'm going any way at all?" He laughed and apologized, and I told him I'm FTM.

My voice was pretty male at that time, but I was probably a light tenor. I had just had my top surgery and was wearing a surgical binder. But I took his query as a compliment.

It's nice that people are actually more aware of FTMs than they used to be. I was about thirty-one or thirty-two when I went to a campus conference or symposium (or something) on gender. This was long before transition, but I self-identified as transgender and sometimes admitted to people that I was a transsexual, even though I hadn't done anything to change my body.

So I told the gal I was talking to that I was trans, and she said she NEVER would have GUESSED that I was anything but a regular woman. I wasn't too pleased to hear that! It was an honest mistake, but to me it indicated that maybe she knew about trans women but not trans men.

It definitely wasn't a compliment.

I've gotten that question before. and that was pre-HRT. I thought they must have been blind or something But I guess not.

Just mess with their heads, it's good for them. Honest  >:-)

Probably just thought that because you were presenting as male, you wanted to be seen as male. A good indication of how someone identifies gender-wise is how they present, so since she knew you were transsexual and saw a male presentation she prolly assumed you were FTM.

I had this photo up on my A4A/Livejournal account awhile back(2.5 years ago)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ak-snc6%2F196969_196523010370332_100000379048523_580981_2964868_n.jpg&hash=277477cb56bc676cfd1e9659467e1243789cd1c3)

And they assumed I was an MtF...well a few guys did. This was right around when people we're "ma'm"ing me all the time. I didn't get it... 2009 was a strange year because so many people interpreted me differently. But yeah, a majority said "girl"...