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Title: Honesty is key.
Post by: R.A.A on October 08, 2011, 04:03:58 AM
Post by: R.A.A on October 08, 2011, 04:03:58 AM
Right. Honesty is key--and if I were being completely honest with myself I'd say that I really have no idea what I'm doing here. All of a sudden I felt a violent urge to find people who could help me--anyone really, even though I haven't been doing much to help myself lately. I'm eighteen-years-young and I'm a female (it is female, right? That's what they call it when you don't have something to squishdangle between your legs?), it's four o'clock in the morning and I'm also desperately sleep deprived.
I'm not going to spill my life story at the moment because there's nothing interesting to tell. Not for lack of experiences to share or a nice game of "pity-fishing", but just because I've had a relatively "normal", "boring" life; at least as normal and boring as life can be when it concerns a boy who is hopelessly trapped in a girls body. I like to do anything and everything that comes to mind: skateboarding, playing guitar, drawing and singing all come to mind. I'm horrible at every single one of them. Normal enough right? The only abnormality in my book is that I don't know if I'm gay, straight, bisexual or just out of place. However, I do know that I've always been this way--and when I say always, I mean as far back as I can remember. Always wearing wearing boy clothes, always acting like one of the guys, always doing things that would strike other people as odd to where they have to point out my behavior and make comments (whether they be negative, positive or indifferent).
When I walk down the street, the unsuspecting passer-by will say "Excuse me, sir." "Sorry, man." "Watch it, buddy." with a blank stare that almost pushes the threshold from indifference into confusion. Everyone else just tries to stay out of my way, or do this little number (which I think is the best, by the way). "Thanks sir...ma'am...have a nice...day?" And get embarrassed and walk off. You guys know what I'm talking about. The shameful stutter and bashful blush that comes with being confused.
Which, in turn, confuses me. I never correct them, regardless of the pronoun, and it neither embarrasses me nor makes me angry. So. With that, I've come here to aid in my immediate journey to discovering who I really am, and what the hell I should do about it, if anything at all.
The name's RAA, by the way. Pleased to make your acquaintance.
I'm not going to spill my life story at the moment because there's nothing interesting to tell. Not for lack of experiences to share or a nice game of "pity-fishing", but just because I've had a relatively "normal", "boring" life; at least as normal and boring as life can be when it concerns a boy who is hopelessly trapped in a girls body. I like to do anything and everything that comes to mind: skateboarding, playing guitar, drawing and singing all come to mind. I'm horrible at every single one of them. Normal enough right? The only abnormality in my book is that I don't know if I'm gay, straight, bisexual or just out of place. However, I do know that I've always been this way--and when I say always, I mean as far back as I can remember. Always wearing wearing boy clothes, always acting like one of the guys, always doing things that would strike other people as odd to where they have to point out my behavior and make comments (whether they be negative, positive or indifferent).
When I walk down the street, the unsuspecting passer-by will say "Excuse me, sir." "Sorry, man." "Watch it, buddy." with a blank stare that almost pushes the threshold from indifference into confusion. Everyone else just tries to stay out of my way, or do this little number (which I think is the best, by the way). "Thanks sir...ma'am...have a nice...day?" And get embarrassed and walk off. You guys know what I'm talking about. The shameful stutter and bashful blush that comes with being confused.
Which, in turn, confuses me. I never correct them, regardless of the pronoun, and it neither embarrasses me nor makes me angry. So. With that, I've come here to aid in my immediate journey to discovering who I really am, and what the hell I should do about it, if anything at all.
The name's RAA, by the way. Pleased to make your acquaintance.
Title: Re: Honesty is key.
Post by: Devlyn on October 08, 2011, 10:12:49 AM
Post by: Devlyn on October 08, 2011, 10:12:49 AM
Hi RAA, welcome to Susans! You sound about as normal and confused as me and everyone else here, you'll do just fine! Make yourself at home and get posting so we can get to know you. Hugs, Tracey
Title: Re: Honesty is key.
Post by: gennee on October 08, 2011, 10:49:30 AM
Post by: gennee on October 08, 2011, 10:49:30 AM
Welcome to susan's, RAA.
:)
:)
Title: Re: Honesty is key.
Post by: RachaelAnn22 on October 08, 2011, 11:24:54 AM
Post by: RachaelAnn22 on October 08, 2011, 11:24:54 AM
Nice to meet you,RAA.Hugs,Rachael.
Title: Re: Honesty is key.
Post by: R3i on October 09, 2011, 07:17:33 AM
Post by: R3i on October 09, 2011, 07:17:33 AM
hiya, welcome to the forum
Title: Re: Honesty is key.
Post by: justmeinoz on October 09, 2011, 07:23:46 AM
Post by: justmeinoz on October 09, 2011, 07:23:46 AM
Welcome aboard, nothing wrong with being boring. My therapist loves seeing me because I am nice and boring.
As for being gay/ straight/bi or trysexual, I work on the theory that as there are 7 billion people in the world all as unique as their fingerprints. So for me there are 7 billion genders and 7 billion sexualities. Sometimes we find someone who is a close match and that is wonderful too.
Karen.
As for being gay/ straight/bi or trysexual, I work on the theory that as there are 7 billion people in the world all as unique as their fingerprints. So for me there are 7 billion genders and 7 billion sexualities. Sometimes we find someone who is a close match and that is wonderful too.
Karen.
Title: Re: Honesty is key.
Post by: TheAwesomePrussia on October 09, 2011, 08:34:35 AM
Post by: TheAwesomePrussia on October 09, 2011, 08:34:35 AM
I love the use of the invented word "squishdangle". It made me smile.
Nice to meet you. I'm Orion and I like you already. o3o
Nice to meet you. I'm Orion and I like you already. o3o
Title: Re: Honesty is key.
Post by: Lynn on October 09, 2011, 09:40:55 AM
Post by: Lynn on October 09, 2011, 09:40:55 AM
"Squishdangle" made me laugh as well.
As AbracaDebra has already mentioned, I also suggest that you read some of the threads on this forum. A lot have proven to be very informative to me, and helped me realize I'm most certainly not alone.
So, welcome RAA!
As AbracaDebra has already mentioned, I also suggest that you read some of the threads on this forum. A lot have proven to be very informative to me, and helped me realize I'm most certainly not alone.
So, welcome RAA!
Title: Re: Honesty is key.
Post by: R.A.A on October 09, 2011, 07:04:10 PM
Post by: R.A.A on October 09, 2011, 07:04:10 PM
Thanks for the greetings everyone. Making me feel at home already. I've been lurking the site for a day or two and finally feel the need to post, after becoming more familiar with things.
And yes, yes, admire my amazing quality to put two separate words together to make a perfect term to describe everything I lack. XD Glad you all can find me so entertaining. I think I'll like it here, and Ill see you all around the site. :]]
And yes, yes, admire my amazing quality to put two separate words together to make a perfect term to describe everything I lack. XD Glad you all can find me so entertaining. I think I'll like it here, and Ill see you all around the site. :]]