Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Mitt on October 21, 2011, 12:20:17 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Coming out to my family
Post by: Mitt on October 21, 2011, 12:20:17 AM
Post by: Mitt on October 21, 2011, 12:20:17 AM
Hello,
I am currently male. I act and dress as a male. But I have never been comfortable in my own body. I have always wanted to be a female. I am 19.
I came out to my colleges GSA club. They have all been very accepting and they help out as much as possible. But I live with my parents, and to really start the process I need to tell them.... well at least my mom.
My mom is very accepting of the gay community, but being transsexual is not the same as you all know. I am 99% sure that she will be supportive of me, but I am still nervous.
How do you think I should approach this?
Mitt (matt)
I am currently male. I act and dress as a male. But I have never been comfortable in my own body. I have always wanted to be a female. I am 19.
I came out to my colleges GSA club. They have all been very accepting and they help out as much as possible. But I live with my parents, and to really start the process I need to tell them.... well at least my mom.
My mom is very accepting of the gay community, but being transsexual is not the same as you all know. I am 99% sure that she will be supportive of me, but I am still nervous.
How do you think I should approach this?
Mitt (matt)
Title: Re: Coming out to my family
Post by: Diane Elizabeth on October 21, 2011, 08:12:36 AM
Post by: Diane Elizabeth on October 21, 2011, 08:12:36 AM
I can't begin to tell you how to come out as it is different for everyone. I would suggest that you concentrate on your schooling and once you have that done and you are out on your own then come out to all. That way if they are not receptive and shun you then you can at least take care of yourself. I know this isn't neccessarily the right answer. But, if your parents are supporting you and there is any chance they would react in a negative way that they would cut you off and kick you out, then take the cautionary route. I have heard of several young people having non-understanding parents and are now on their own prematurely. But only you know how tight your relationship is with your parents.
I am still waiting for a good time to tell my mother. I did manage to tell my son just this week. He is a bit more aged than you are (he is 28). He isn't totaling accepting, but is open minded to say that if that will make me happy mentally then I should do what I have to do.
Good luck with which ever way you do it. Those of us in the community will always be here to talk with you.
Donna
I am still waiting for a good time to tell my mother. I did manage to tell my son just this week. He is a bit more aged than you are (he is 28). He isn't totaling accepting, but is open minded to say that if that will make me happy mentally then I should do what I have to do.
Good luck with which ever way you do it. Those of us in the community will always be here to talk with you.
Donna
Title: Re: Coming out to my family
Post by: Julie Marie on October 21, 2011, 08:23:16 AM
Post by: Julie Marie on October 21, 2011, 08:23:16 AM
For most people I know, coming out as gay is minor compared to coming out as trans. Sometimes it blows my mind just how stigmatized the term transgender is. So I'd suggest to do some fishing around with your parents to see if you can get some idea as to where they are on the subject of transgender.
Even if they are totally accepting about other people, that doesn't mean they will be with you. The "losing" (son or daughter) reason comes up all the time. I think there's a real fear we may become completely different people when we transition. That is true only when we have completely repressed who we really are and have been putting on a totally false front. For the most part, the book remains the same. Only the cover is changed. And you can't judge a book by its cover.
So find a TV show, a magazine or newspaper article or whatever you can and "put it out there" and see how they react. Just do it passively.
Even if they are totally accepting about other people, that doesn't mean they will be with you. The "losing" (son or daughter) reason comes up all the time. I think there's a real fear we may become completely different people when we transition. That is true only when we have completely repressed who we really are and have been putting on a totally false front. For the most part, the book remains the same. Only the cover is changed. And you can't judge a book by its cover.
So find a TV show, a magazine or newspaper article or whatever you can and "put it out there" and see how they react. Just do it passively.
Title: Re: Coming out to my family
Post by: MiaSakura on November 09, 2011, 11:34:03 PM
Post by: MiaSakura on November 09, 2011, 11:34:03 PM
I'm having issues coming out to my family right now. I don't know how many if any of them will except me much less tollerate me and what I'm doing. I'm gonna start by telling my father's side. THey live across the country from me, so if they hate me; no HUGE loss, right?