Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: MarinaM on October 22, 2011, 02:26:03 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Year end report! (Transition share!!!)
Post by: MarinaM on October 22, 2011, 02:26:03 PM
It's been a long time since I've seen one of these out here where the general public dwells, so I did one  ;D

I've been turning this idea over for a few days, and I would like to give a rundown with stats concerning all changes in mood, physique, passability, and social life since beginning transition in earnest (started in the period of Nov. - Jan. Last year). This would be helpful for transitional "tweeners" like me (started in the mid to late twenties), but may also be a service to everyone still mulling it over. We won't call it vanity, we'll call it science!!!

Physical:

Statistics at the beginning:
Age 27, minor thinning of hair, no HRT.
5'5" tall, 155 lbs, 38" chest, 30" waist, 36" hips. Feet: Mens U.S. Size 9. Hair growth all over, shaved it all once a day. Capacity to lift well over 100 lbs above my head several times in succession, load a truck with 500 tires by hand in an hour and a half three times a day. I still stayed slender and used many so called "non masculine body care methods," such as using lotion and shaving my entire body.

Visual from one year ago (pilfered from another thread)
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs776.snc4/67600_166949936649398_100000031784211_558587_3652457_n.jpg (http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs776.snc4/67600_166949936649398_100000031784211_558587_3652457_n.jpg)

Stats now:
Age 27, thick unruly hair, 6 months HRT (slowly scaled up dosages)
5'5" tall, 140 lbs, 36" chest, 31" waist (???), 36" hips. Feet: Womens US 9 / 10. I believe they use men's sizes for women's shoes now unless you want to get insanely expensive over here. Hair growth all over, considerably slowed- can go 2 /3 days without shaving, thinner too. Struggle to lift 100 lbs, will not even think about going into a tire truck but my endurance has greatly improved due to constant bicycle riding.

Uh, I suppose the avatar can serve as a good enough visual, if not, I'll take another soon.

Mood:

Before: Very unemotional, uninteresting, quiet, but such a worker that I was moved into positions of responsibility quickly. Lots of people would say I was successful. I would say I was not, and the bridges I burned proved so.

After: Curious, a bit reserved, though markedly more emotionally available. Conscience "woke up," a bit more combative, infectious when happy and fluttering about, more susceptible to mood swings and anxiety. Not yet what other people would call "traditionally successful." People do notice that I'm more confident now.

*** Do we call it an improvement so far? We have improvement, we have decline, and we have neither. Such is life :)

Passability

An easier one to measure than mood, because it can be done objectively. Let's face it, I'm a Monet. You spend long enough in close conversation with me and you will know. If you pass me on the street, in the bathroom, or say "Hi," you won't. I get passed and treated like a lady much of the time, but I don't necessarily "pass." This is an effect of my chronic nose and throat issues persistently producing a congestive mucus, which makes it VERY hard to work on my voice further, and also facial hair I can't afford to zap yet (but it can be covered by makeup easily enough). I used to wear a wig and get all dolled up, and that made it easy to clock me, but I find the closer to "casual, sporty" female I get, the harder it is for people to do so. Pass rate now: 70-80 percent consistently, before: Never if not "in costume."

I find that each milestone pushes the female identity out further. I look really da** funny dressed as a boy, but I look like a weirdo as a girl without makeup. I mean, it feels pretty natural to be functioning in public as a woman now, but passing probably won't even be a second thought as soon as the facial hair is gone, I'm sure (excepting certain skin baring situations).

Social Life:


I have all my friends back. They were elated to learn that I was trans, they took it as a sign that I was going to move towards a happier future, and that I was going to get involved in friendships again. As a consequence they're all in my life and I see them pretty often. I shut them out beforehand, as one of my friends put it: "What makes this so easy for us is that we don't really remember Ryan." My closest friends are completely socially unacceptable people and they don't care, we won't delve further into the verbal and atmospheric melee that is a public outing amongst us all. I'm just glad to have up to three big men around as protection sometimes :)

*** family: Family is divided amongst people who ignore me and people who support me. I get different amounts of dis / respect, and that's just how it is.

So, there you have it, an ultrashare. Assess and apply as necessary.
Title: Re: Year end report! (Transition share!!!)
Post by: Constance on October 22, 2011, 03:01:38 PM
Physical
Age 41 (as of April, when I was officially diagnosed with GID)
As I have a desk job, I really don't know what my lifting capacity was then as opposed to now. Most of my commuting to/from work is walking, but it's only about a mile. I started HRT on 5 June and the first physical changes I noticed were about 2 weeks later when my breast buds started to get tender.

I turned 42 on 7 September. My wife and daughter have told me that my face seems slightly rounder. My breastlings are somewhat visible, but still about a lower-case a cup.


Mood
At first, I was someone who'd get angry quite easily, and I felt like I didn't have a full range of emotional expression. As my identity transitioned, this seemed to change a bit. the real mood changes started after HRT. Again, it was about 2 weeks in and already I felt like I had a fuller emotional experience, was angry less and could cry again.


Passability
This has been an odd one. I'll get sir'd while en femme and I even got ma'am'd once while en homme. I think my voice still needs work. My job has me on the phone a lot and I get sir'd by customers all the time.


Social Life
There's been big changes here.

I used to be a very shy introvert. But accepting myself, completing my "identity transition" as I describe it to myself, led me to have much more self-confidence. I'm not an extrovert, but I'm a lot less shy. I have more friends now than I'd had in a long time, and the friends who knew me as "David" are closer to me now that I'm Connie.

My wife and I are divorcing, and the transition is hard on my mom. These things, of course, make it hard on me. My son (age 22) was a little distant at first, but that has changed. My daughter (age 19) has always been the most accepting of my family, and I think we're closer now, too.


Overall
Things are good for the most part. I wish they were better, but I know they could be much, much worse.
Title: Re: Year end report! (Transition share!!!)
Post by: MarinaM on October 22, 2011, 03:07:33 PM
Oh yeah, I forgot about breast development. I MUST wear a sports bra at all times to cover the baby breasts. Not too pleased in the boobage department as of now, but they are sensitive all the time. Breasts are... just breasts, I find. I like 'em, I want and need 'em, but it feels like they're just supposed to be there. Interesting development.
Title: Re: Year end report! (Transition share!!!)
Post by: A_Dresden_Doll on October 22, 2011, 06:46:40 PM
I was going to start up this very type of thread! You suck! :p

Physical:
Ok, so it's only been 2 months on HRT, but my T has gone from 235-24...after 30 days on the lowest strength T blocker. I don't see all that much change in my face or appearance, but others keep telling me that there is. Most of my terminal hairs are turning into vellus hairs. I still have a libido, but I control it, not the other way around. My nipples have always been girl's nipples, but now I really, really can't walk around without a shirt. I'm about a full A at this point. I was never obsessed with measurements, so I have no idea. I do know that my butt has gotten bigger, that was one thing I was never lacking. My ribs also feel like they are contracting, but that could just be muscle soreness from breaking down. In fact, my whole upper body is constantly sore, and has been been since the 2nd week in.

Mood:
Ok, this is the big one. I know some women say they felt at peace and there was a calmness where there was none. ->-bleeped-<- that! I feel alive! I feel like I can think and breathe and simply be able focus on tasks. I could never go back to feeling like I was dead all the time.

Passing"
I'm bad at this. I don't think I pass. People tell me otherwise. I also don't think I'm attractive or pretty in the least bit, but everyone keeps telling me otherwise. I don't think I can accurately guess on this. I only get "sir'd" when presenting male, and I'm barely part time at the moment, so there ya go...

Overall:
I could never go back. Even if I never pass and would somehow have to live life as a man, I would never get off HRT. I just think too clearly, now.
Title: Re: Year end report! (Transition share!!!)
Post by: Mahsa Tezani on October 22, 2011, 07:05:52 PM
Physical: 2 years on HRT, I have a cup breast...some extra belly fat. My body has slimmed down and became feminine looking.

Passability: Makeup, don't leave home without it. I took more time on my appearance and studied hot chicks to become them. I didn't want to wear a ton of makeup until HRT did it things softening my jaw. But really, it takes a ton of work to look hot...and thats the way I like it.

As for passing? I'd say 100% on the superficial surface. But you never know what people are thinking. Men want to do me and constantly are trying to get my attention. My voice alternates from breathy girl to gay boy... On the internet? I mean some people know...bfd though.

Mood: A constant, vain little bitch and proud of it. I flip my mood constantly...My Mom is the exact same way. I listen to a lot of disco to keep my mood up.

Social life: still got them, but we don't hang out as much. My best friends ex boyfriend was into me. My boyfriend killed my social life(in another thread). I quit going to toy collecting boards because I got bored with that. Selling most of my stuff and putting the money towards a car or savings. I miss hanging out with my friends though...My boyfriend can't fill that void completely.

Overall: Blah... I don't think about this crap very much. My Mom and I have gotten closer. My ex wants to be my friend again, after I used to spread horrible rumors about him and less than monogamous sex life.
Title: Re: Year end report! (Transition share!!!)
Post by: stldrmgrl on October 22, 2011, 08:24:42 PM
Physical

Before - 27 years old, 5'4" tall, 120 pounds, 36" chest, 35" hips, 28" waist, size 8-9 men's shoes (depending on brand).  Horrible facial hair, couldn't shave every day because of irritation.  Very dark, thick hair with a permanent 5 o'clock shadow.

Now - 3 months HRT :: 28 years old (on the 26th of this month), 5'4" tall, 110 pounds, 34" chest, 36" hips, 26" waist, size 8 women's shoes (depending on brand).  Now having had six laser hair removal treatments so far, I have only blonde hair on my face with very minimal growth.  Very impressive breast development so far, sports bra will be needed soon, though I'm too proud of them to wanna hide them  :P

Mood

Before - Somewhat antisocial, found myself not engaging in many conversations due to trying to fake a masculine point of view on most things.  I had a quick temper and wasn't interested in too many things.

Now - I'll talk your ear off lol.  I am myself as much as possible when out at places, talking to someone and in everything I do/say.  I feel so alive now, and my temper has dropped substantially.

Passability

I have not yet gone out full-time, only partial.  As of now, I get looked at quite a bit, I suppose mostly for being "awkward" more than anything.  My voice and body language are more feminine in nature than masculine, and with me wearing mostly women's casual attire, I get looks all the time and "behind my back" comments.  Personally, I like it though.  Sure I wanna pass, but even I know I don't yet pass and I'm not up to that point in my transition, so at least the comments/looks are a sign to me that something has changed [for the better].

Social Life

The majority of my friends and family do not care, and quite a few support my transition.  I did lose one very close friend, though I suppose he wasn't as close of a friend as I thought.  A few of my family members are not too fond of my transition, though again, overall - the support is awesome.  I still do the same things I did before with the majority of the same people I did them with before; not much socially in that aspect has changed, however, most my friends now realize my point of view on things will likely not be the same as theirs.  Furthermore, I've found my attraction for females to have drastically dropped and I really don't much care to check them out anymore, aside from being jealous lol.

Overall

I've only just begun my journey, as only having been on HRT for three months.  In just these three months I've felt myself go from darkness to light, confused to educated, hopeless to alive - and I cannot wait to see the rest of this transition take it's course.  Overall as of now, I feel great; I'm loving the changes I'm seeing and feeling, I feel more like ME and I not once have had one regret towards transitioning.
Title: Re: Year end report! (Transition share!!!)
Post by: cynthialee on October 22, 2011, 09:26:52 PM
I am now at my 2 year mark for transition.

Physically I have changed allot. But much of that I owe to the scapel.

Mentaly I am almost cured. I will never be complete so long as I have the male apendage. Thats just the horible truth. It isn't pretty but it is what it is.

Passability I would rate at 85%. Most folks see a girl. Some folks see trans, but those are fewer and fewer as time goes by. I can definatly tell the diferance. It can be subtle with some folks and others can be blatant.

Socialy I have completely changed. Before transition I had no social life whatsoever. No friends no schedule. Now I have friends and a social life. Which seems to be on hold at the moment due to schedule conflicts and extended illness but I actually have friends now and that is a big change for me.

Family has accepted my transition and accepted me as a woman. Pre transition I was so unstable and fragile that they were constantly having to deal with me falling apart. Since I have transitioned I have had to dispense advice and repair the familys issues a couple times instead of being the issue. When I transitioned there was allot of relief in the family. For decades I have been secret with my real issues and they never knew why I kept falling apart. When I came out as trans, things just fell into place for them. Everything about me finaly made sense. Then I started becoming emotionaly stable and engaged and they were sold.
They lost a brother that was an ->-bleeped-<- that was a burden on the family and got a sister that is an asset to the family.
My family is very much behind my transition and are the best supporters a girl could ask for.
Title: Re: Year end report! (Transition share!!!)
Post by: Mahsa Tezani on October 22, 2011, 09:36:28 PM
Quote from: cynthialee on October 22, 2011, 09:26:52 PM
They lost a brother that was an ->-bleeped-<- that was a burden on the family and got a sister that is an asset to the family.

My Mom said her daughter is a bigger bitch than her son ever was. So in this case, things worked in reverse.
Title: Re: Year end report! (Transition share!!!)
Post by: MarinaM on October 22, 2011, 10:01:03 PM
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 22, 2011, 09:36:28 PM
My Mom said her daughter is a bigger bitch than her son ever was. So in this case, things worked in reverse.

I got the same thing from my sister for a while, but we've always been contentious. We can call that a "side effect" of freedom.  A little bit of snap is a good thing, shows 'em you're healthy.

I really like reading the experiences of people who decided to turn their lives around with transition, and it's beneficial as well to be as real and objective with the experience as possible. It can sometimes cause more problems than it fixes, but I find it well worth it.
Title: Re: Year end report! (Transition share!!!)
Post by: Mahsa Tezani on October 22, 2011, 10:04:35 PM
Quote from: EmmaM on October 22, 2011, 10:01:03 PM
I got the same thing from my sister for a while, but we've always been contentious. We can call that a "side effect" of freedom.  A little bit of snap is a good thing, shows 'em you're healthy.

I really like reading the experiences of people who decided to turn their lives around with transition, and it's beneficial as well to be as real and objective with the experience as possible. It can sometimes cause more problems than it fixes, but I find it well worth it.

All I know is that I can get away with a lot more crap than I ever could before...Like teasing men...

Thank god I stopped drinking and cocaine.