Susan's Place Transgender Resources

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Of course. Any one can be homophobic. It's less likely in the trans community though, as we tend to be more open-minded and accepting because of our unique background. We have an easier time understanding how sexuality is something inside of you that can't be helped, as we have the same issue with gender. Also a good portion of MTFs and FTMs identified as gay/lesbian before the self-realization of gender came about.

(I realized I used 'we' a lot and I don't mean to speak for all trans people, these are just things I have noticed about a majority of our community as a whole. I apologize if anyone does not agree with my views and takes offense to me using 'we' when speaking.)

Yes. The first few transguy meetings I went to, I felt like I was doing something wrong by not wanting to date girls. Most people were macho, and my sometimes-feminine mannerisms felt like proof that I just can't cut it with the boys. I've had both straight and queer cisgendered people ask the question "If you like men, why don't you want to be a woman?," and even when I say that's just how I am they don't always get it.

All of us can be prejudiced in just about any way, even against ourselves.

Yes, can even be transphobic.

I don't have an intense hatred for gay people but I have some weird dislike feeling about them. I think it's because I haven't started T and I don't want to bee seen as a lesbian or something. Idk what's wrong with me. Can someone tell me why I might feel this way? I like to try to keep and open mind but when I open my mind to one thing something random will come up and I have to try to open my mind to that.

Quote from: Felix on October 29, 2011, 12:34:27 AM
All of us can be prejudiced in just about any way, even against ourselves.

Yep. I'm guilty of that one! I do understand YOU, though, in a way, if you don't mind me being frank. I haven't come across too many people who have put down my sexuality so much as my trans...ness (... what? >.>) but I can tell you - as you probably know - that trying to beat a concept like your sexual orientation into someone's head, who isn't willing to TRY to understand, is just suicide! I am attracted to, well, "all" I guess, so it is difficult for me to truly know what being straight, gay, or lesbian actually means. It's perplexing to me... absolutely mind boggling. It's just like a puzzle that I can't seem to solve, no matter how hard I try!! Eventually, after killing tumultuous amounts of brain cells by over thinking about it, I found the key, which was to tell myself that I don't have to understand it on paper, because I probably never will be able to, but to just accept it for what it is. In doing so, I think I understand it on some subconscious, human level. I at least understand what it means to be considered "different".

On the other hand... if they're trans, I mean srsly, they should at least understand the feeling of being different! That is essentially what cisgender LGB people can relate to with trans-folk, if they're willing to. They understand (or they SHOULD understand) what it means to be a bit different by societies "norms", and while they can't possibly understand what it means to be transgender, I imagine they might know what it feels like to be a little different and to understand that other people can be different in... different ways. >.>

Okay, I should really go to sleep now. The contents of my posts are starting to resemble my placeholder avatar. :o

Lol play me the song of your people. :D

Slytherin idk what drives your problems, but I know that I've resisted sleeping with girls even when I want to because I've been so resentful of being labeled a lesbian. I'm mostly a gay man, but I'm at least somewhat bi, maybe pan is a more honest way to describe it, and I totally understand having hangups. I used to think trans people were a little icky, and I think that was just repression and internalized bigotry. We all have our tangles.

Simply put, yes we can.

In my case it is internalised homophobia.  It is common in non-trans gay people too. 

All those years of society in general, family and friends telling you it is wrong end up with their voices intruding from the subconscious.  There are ways to overcome it, but they all take time and patience.  I am trying to seek areas  lesbians are more likely to frequent, read lesbian writings, listen to music by people like Missy Higgins and Melissa Ferrick.  Just sort of "lesbianating", so that i can feel that I am not inferior in any way.

Karen.

I've met trans people who were...transphobic, homophobic, racist, and anti semitic.

Quote from: Slytherin17 on October 29, 2011, 01:20:54 AM
I don't have an intense hatred for gay people but I have some weird dislike feeling about them. I think it's because I haven't started T and I don't want to bee seen as a lesbian or something. Idk what's wrong with me. Can someone tell me why I might feel this way? I like to try to keep and open mind but when I open my mind to one thing something random will come up and I have to try to open my mind to that.

I guess you already gave the answer, because lesbians make people miss jugde you to think thats just what you are when its not.

its kinda like when the macho gay people dont like the femmenine steryotype onces because when they get out people expect them to be more femenine..

or like the transexuals who dont like the ->-bleeped-<-s because as the transexuals get out people mistake then for being ->-bleeped-<-s so on so on..
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Absolutely. Hell, it shows up on this site often enough.

For me, I'm more worried about my issues with trans women who are visibly trans. I know it's all about my own fears, but that doesn't seem to make the instinctive aversion go away. The best I can do is suppress it, spend more time around trans folk, and hope it fades. Bleh.

Lot of us have damage from dealing with our trans status and sometimes it expresses itself in really ugly ways.

Oh absolutely. You'll even have trans people who are transphobic. Kick up your shoes and stay awhile. You'll run into it.

If we learned not to be homophobic before transitioning, we would not be during and after, I'm pretty sure of that.

Yet if your were before - I guess you'd be after transitioning too.

The same as I have seen with racism. Hormones and operations do not apparently make a change in that area.

Axelle

Quote from: Nygeel on October 29, 2011, 07:43:28 AM
I've met trans people who were...transphobic, homophobic, racist, and anti semitic.

had a transperson on my facebook go completely nuts when she found out I was racially Jewish and studying Hebrew. I mean she let out every colorful cussword you could think of and then started to post on her wall how she can't believe I was Jewish; "she was betrayed." Her other "friends" were posting back on her wall, "what the hell is wrong with you?"

You have some bigots out there. That's sure!

But usually people act like this out of their own insecurities.

Quote from: Slytherin17 on October 29, 2011, 01:20:54 AMI don't have an intense hatred for gay people but I have some weird dislike feeling about them. I think it's because I haven't started T and I don't want to bee seen as a lesbian or something. Idk what's wrong with me. Can someone tell me why I might feel this way? I like to try to keep and open mind but when I open my mind to one thing something random will come up and I have to try to open my mind to that.

I don't want to pretend I know your life.  but maybe you just need to be exposed to more things in life.

I'll tell you about me, since I can only speak for myself, and then you can do with this as you will.
I come from a middle-class family that's all white, religious, conservative, homophobic, transphobic, etc.  anything that's against the "bible", abortions, premarital sex, etc.   Basically, I grew up with this mindset that somehow I[/i] get to decide what is "right" and what is "wrong."  and I[/i] have it all figured out and everyone just needs to listen to me.  And if the world would just submit to my beliefs, it would be a better place.

And then I came out to myself as trans.

And suddenly, I don't know anything anymore.  Suddenly, I can understand really what it means to be different.  and I was different.  My family had already decided that being gay or being trans was against the bible and was "wrong."  but here I am, experiencing this and I know that it's not wrong.  But it took me experiencing it to know that it is not wrong.  otherwise I would have been just like them.
And so from that, I've realized that I can't pretend to know what someone else is going through.  I can't claim to have it all figured out.  I learned that I don't know anything.  And I shouldn't pretend to.  I should just live and let live.

I realized part of the reason that my family (and I) could think so ignorantly was our lack of exposure to things.  My family doesn't know a single gay person, or a single trans person, or a single Mexican.  So I'm trying to get out and expose myself to the world more and more.  And I even just realized something last night... one of my friends is Mexican, and he pointed out to me how I'm a little racist. It surprised.  he was right.  but I didn't even know it.

I thought I was very open minded, and then just last night, I was shown otherwise.   It's interesting how we think we know something, but someone else sees it differently.  And that's what the world is made up of, people who all see it differently.  and we can't say that our view is right.
And the more I expose myself to other views, I think is the more I learn that.

My family will never learn that because they don't want to expose themselves to disgusting gay people, or dirty Mexicans.

Quote from: Slytherin17 on October 29, 2011, 12:04:54 AM
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I know this is off topic but you look like Justin Beiber. ;)

Quote from: Felix on October 29, 2011, 02:18:07 AM
Lol play me the song of your people. :D

I know a little banjo. Will that suffice?

The only song that could possibly come from my people, being *San Franciscans*, would be like psychedelic stuff. I'll have to go find some Jefferson Airplane banjo tabs... >.>

My daughter really likes Bela Fleck. I guess that's not psychedelic, though.

Yes, a stupid one can, just like a stupid cisgender LGB person can be transphobic.

I dont usually associate with the LGB community because from what I've observed a majority of them are transphobic.

Does that make me homophobic? I donno you tell me.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on October 29, 2011, 02:11:40 PM
I know this is off topic but you look like Justin Beiber. ;)

LOL I see that

Anyone can be homophobic, even a gay person.

Quote from: Felix on October 29, 2011, 09:47:57 PM
My daughter really likes Bela Fleck. I guess that's not psychedelic, though.

I think Bela Fleck is a little bit of everything, truthfully. XD

~Sadly, yes.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on October 29, 2011, 02:11:40 PM
I know this is off topic but you look like Justin Beiber. ;)

:o You're right, he does!

Yeah.  You don't even need to look far to find it. (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,108807.0/topicseen.html)

Yes, I was. I'm not anymore. I grew up and accepted what was going on. I paid for my views with time served, an advanced bone structure, and sucky body / face hair. Not to mention all the family garbage I'm going through now.

I stopped living with that fear.

I also love Bela Fleck, but I only started loving him after I came to peace.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on October 29, 2011, 02:11:40 PM
I know this is off topic but you look like Justin Beiber. ;)

Ugh, I hate Justin Beiber. Lol.

Quote from: Slytherin17 on October 30, 2011, 02:20:33 PM
Ugh, I hate Justin Beiber. Lol.

Ha! Well, sorry. :P I did mean it as a compliment.

Some members of Susan's are Gay.

A reminder of our TOS

10. Bashing or flaming of any individuals or groups is not acceptable behavior on this web site and will not be tolerated in the slightest for any reason.

Quote from: winter88 on October 31, 2011, 06:02:01 PM
I DONT THINK THERES ANYTHING WRONG WITH A TRANS PERSON BEING HOMOPHOBIC, IN FACT I ENCOURAGE IT LOL/ BEACUSE LETS FACE IT. MOST GAYS ARE TRANS-PHOBIC. IT DOESENT SUPRISE ME THAT ITS CALLED GLBT OR LGBT. NOTICE HOW THE T IS ALWAYS LAST. THEY SEEM TO THINK TRANS ARE THE LEAST IMPORTANT. AND GAYS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT FOR SOME REASON. I PERSONALLY DONT CARE FOR GAY MEN.

No.

Just no.

Quote from: Slytherin17 on October 30, 2011, 02:20:33 PM
Ugh, I hate Justin Beiber. Lol.

Hes my husband, he just dont know it yet.

It is very possible. We are all just human after all, each with our own likes and dislikes.

The interesting question if it is rational to be homophobic. Then again, how comon is it to rationalize your feelings?

Quote from: JenJen2011 on October 30, 2011, 02:22:25 PM
Ha! Well, sorry. :P I did mean it as a compliment.

Lol. Thanks for the compliment, I don't think he's ugly I just can't stand his personality.

Quote from: xxScarlettxx on October 31, 2011, 08:51:04 PM
Hes my husband, he just dont know it yet.

Lol. You sound like my friend Tiffany.

Quote from: Zythyra on October 31, 2011, 06:37:13 PM
Some members of Susan's are Gay.

A reminder of our TOS

10. Bashing or flaming of any individuals or groups is not acceptable behavior on this web site and will not be tolerated in the slightest for any reason.

Im half-gay and my uncle is a flamer so can I be homophobic?

Although he IS a gender therapist...

Of course it's possible.
When you deal with the human element, anything's possible - trans or not.
It depends on a lot of things; personal experience, the way that you were raised, the way that the media's influenced you, people you know, and dozens of other variables.

it's very possible, and it's very narrow-minded, and a confusing paradoxon, but when I find it in a person, it's usually a sign of immense insecurity (as is homophobia in general, I guess?) - transmen who don't want to be confused with lesbians (neither do I but I'm not taking it out on lesbians...), transwomen whom society sadly at times thinks of as gay men in drag......
In order to define their identity, many people need something to set themselves apart from....the most effective way to set oneself apart from something is to ridicule and degrade it and proclaim that you don't understand it...

While homophobia sickens me wherever I see or hear it, I understand that my parents and grandparents grew up in a different world...a homophobic world. I understand to a certain extend that it may be harder for them to shake off their resentments than it is for my generation. Doesn't make their opinions any less awful... but yeah. When I meet a 20-year-old homophobic transman, I just want to send him back to the hole he crawled out of.