Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I always seem to post here. It's my thing.
Well, to make a long story short(er), I am serious with my girlfriend. I am going to see said girlfriend  early in June. I'll stay for 2 weeks.
He parents know I'm coming - but not that I'm trans. I plan on being stealth there, and staying stealth there. Obviously, my girl knows whats up with me, but she's the only one who needs to know in a conservative area. She agrees with this. Not the issue. I pass, so, no worries there as far as I am concerned.

The issue is with my parents. I'm half-out to my mom (she knows but doesn't really acknowledge it, and i'm not out of the rest of the family) and they don't know I have a girlfriend. Yes, I'm serious, and so is she, but we are on opposite sides of North America - and again, I'm a "she". I just plan on...going. As in, I leave without warning and leave a note in my wake. But should I go without being out, or be out and go? And, if before, when before?

On a side note, yes, I do currently live with my parents. Yes, I'm young. I'm also pre T/pre-op, but as I said, I pass. But I should be able to afford rent & such if I get kicked out, I have 2 jobs and I'm saving (3.5k so far), as well friends I am out to and who have agreed to help me out if I need a place to stay for a bit. 

Quote from: Dax on October 30, 2011, 09:49:36 PM

But should I go without being out, or be out and go? And, if before, when before?

Hi Dax,

Tough times aren't they. But I think you are pretty level headed. It seems like you understand the addage "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." Just make sure you have all bases covered, including the legal ones. A good plan should also include an exit strategy. What happens if plan A fails, of what if I'm half way through executing plan A and I want out. etc.

My suggestion to you regarding your question is; option 2 "Be out and go." Choosing that option has some very decided benefits for you. First you Mum already knows about you, and your suggestion of going may have her reconsider her possible opinion of this being a "phase" and persuade her to keep you safe were you are, but allowed you to develop your journey. Secondly, if your Mum goes the other way, well at least you have an exit strategy worked out. You have a job, money and friends. That's a fairly safe base to work out of.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you are coping. It's important for your well being. Hoping this works out for you, in your favour.
Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine