Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi!  The other week I was taking a walk and a relatively cute guy pulled over and asked me if I needed a ride.  Of course, I was just taking a walk so I said no thanks and he drove away.  However, it got me thinking about if I did need a ride and a stranger asked, would I accept it?  Would you accept a ride from a stranger?

Zelda, you did the right thing. Don't accept rides, it might be perfectly fine or you might end up in a super unsafe place in an unsafe position with your life forever changed :(

NO


Totally NO.

Can I say again, NO

You may be lucky that a nice person helps you out, but once you are in the car/vehicle you are under there control.

I did do a 300km hitch hike, we stopped for lunch, stopped for a coffee, chatted away about our families and friends. Really nice, then he wanted me to blow him as thanks for the trip.

And he was a nice guy. I didn't. I had to hurt him though.

Cindy

NO, with the qualification that I would accept a lift from another woman motorcyclist if I had broken down or run out of petrol.

Meghan, thank you for the advice.  It's sort of scary thinking about the latter part of what you said.  Your life could change forever based on accepting one little car ride.  It's happened before!

Cindy, that is a LONG distance to hitch hike.  Your story started out nice but the end really just ruins it.  He sounds like a nice guy, but wanting you to blow him?  Wow.  When did this happen to you? 

Justmeinoz, you make an interesting point.  I would accept a ride from a female motorist over a male one any day.  Women just don't commit those random sexual/violent crimes.

Quote from: ZeldaHeart on October 31, 2011, 02:24:45 AM
Hi!  The other week I was taking a walk and a relatively cute guy pulled over and asked me if I needed a ride.  Of course, I was just taking a walk so I said no thanks and he drove away.  However, it got me thinking about if I did need a ride and a stranger asked, would I accept it?  Would you accept a ride from a stranger?

I did once about 4 years ago. And it was the worse mistake in my life. I can't believe I'm alive today. I'll just leave it at that. DON'T EVER get in a car with a stranger!!!!

Feck no, didn't they teach you several times in elementary school not to get in a stranger's car? >.<

I agree that I would probably trust them more if it was a woman.

I would, and do frequently.  But I never go anywhere unarmed, and I've had enough martial arts training to know how to incapacitate the human body without too much effort.

Knives, guns, and unarmed training are all three excelent things to have, especially for someone living a lifestyle that can make them easy victims of hate crimes

Hell no.
Even being armed, hell no.
I'm a former hitchhiker/hitchhiker picker-upper. I did it 1000's of times with never a single bad ride, but the world changed.

the world hasn't changed; only the people

Quote from: OrderOfOriah on October 31, 2011, 05:27:02 PM
the world hasn't changed; only the people

Ok, I can agree with that.

I will if I needed one and I felt it where okay.

I have got a ride from some guys once I where pretty screwed, the first guy who asked me for a ride, seamed scary and I refused, him but in fact I didnt had anywere to go and I had to sleep on the street cause I couldnt get home, so when some guys who worked at the pizzabar asked me for a ride I took the chance and got home pretty save.

I think it depends alot on who you are, where you are, and in which situation you are in.

Quote from: ZeldaHeart on October 31, 2011, 07:42:56 AM
Meghan, thank you for the advice.  It's sort of scary thinking about the latter part of what you said.  Your life could change forever based on accepting one little car ride.  It's happened before!

Cindy, that is a LONG distance to hitch hike.  Your story started out nice but the end really just ruins it.  He sounds like a nice guy, but wanting you to blow him?  Wow.  When did this happen to you? 

Justmeinoz, you make an interesting point.  I would accept a ride from a female motorist over a male one any day.  Women just don't commit those random sexual/violent crimes.

It was some years ago, and I live in Australia so 300km isn't a long way, my car had deceased when I was in a place called Mildura, about 3-500km from where I live in Adelaide, I didn't have the money for a bus trip so I had to hitch. The thing was I was living as a guy then and the guy who gave me a lift didn't portray any homosexual ideas (not that I'm sure what that means BTW), and we had not talked about sex in anyway on the trip.
But when I was a guy I was always getting chatted up by Gay guys, no idea why, I didn't do Gay stuff or live a Gay life style. BTW I have totally no problems with any form of sexuality, it was just strange at the time.

And I think dangerous.

Cindy

Really guys? Honestly? Do you all have cars or something?

Most of the times I've been assaulted or robbed it had absolutely nothing to do with getting into a stranger's car. In fact, I can only think of one incident that went bad, and there were some extenuating circumstances.

If you use common sense, you're probably less likely to get hurt bumming rides than if you decide to eat meat and smoke cigarettes. Or go skateboarding.

Anyway. I fight like a berserker and I'm not afraid to kill somebody if I have to. Maybe that's key. Idk. I still think a lot of people have funny priorities and odd fears.

Quote from: Felix on November 02, 2011, 02:57:15 AM
Really guys? Honestly? Do you all have cars or something?

Yes.

Quote from: Felix on November 02, 2011, 02:57:15 AM
I still think a lot of people have funny priorities and odd fears.

I think it's pretty legitimate.

Well. I've ridden in stranger's cars thousands of times. I just don't get in sketchy people's cars, same as I stay away from sketchy people anywhere else.

I live in a city with buses and trains and stuff now, though, so I haven't ridden with anyone I didn't know since moving here unless it was a cab or something. Lol I do think some cabbies are scarier than most strangers.

It really depends on what person is offering the ride. If it is a single shady looking male then absolutely not.
If there is a woman involved and they show a bit of class then yes.

Quote from: Venus-Castina on November 02, 2011, 10:35:06 AM
It really depends on what person is offering the ride. If it is a single shady looking male then absolutely not.

What if it's a single nice looking male? With a sweet face and smile?

QuoteIf there is a woman involved and they show a bit of class then yes.

Women committ crimes too.

I don't think it matters who it is or what they look like. You don't know these people and what their intentions are.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on November 02, 2011, 10:38:42 AM
What if it's a single nice looking male? With a sweet face and smile?

It really depends on the general attitude and circumstance. The nasty thing with feelings is that you can't pinpoint a threshold at which you say yes to a ride
For example, I was biking in a foreign country with the first village being 15 miles away when I got a flat tire and no mobile network. A bus with a few artists stopped and offered me a ride back to the hotel. I did the same when my train was cancelled and got offered a ride from a bussinessman heading the same way.
In general I don't accept a ride when it is blindly offered without any reason to do so.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on November 02, 2011, 10:38:42 AM
Women committ crimes too.

True, but it largely rules out sexual motives from a lonely guy at night.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on November 02, 2011, 10:38:42 AM
I don't think it matters who it is or what they look like. You don't know these people and what their intentions are.

You are absolutely right about that but I hate to live in a world where I assume that everyone is out to take advantage of each other. I loke to have some trust in others even when I risk it being misplaced.

Of course it's a NO! - and so lets get to my more recent predicament...

On the highway, moving as slow as walking, the car next to me points out I have a flat tire - and right it was.

Lucky, an AfricanAfrican towtruck driver stopped and helped me change the tire (oh, mama let me do that! a very nice dude) - the spanner of my 'new' used car WAS STRIPPED!!!
I would not have been able to do it myself even if I'd wanted/needed to!

Now would I have accept a ride? Yes, I would have, no question.
Alternative being stuck on the highway at night on my own...? Hm.

So it ALSO much depends on the situation.

My then ex did accept a ride, when on a drive back from an outing, a stuck petrol gauge surprised me in the middle of nowhere. (A piece of watering hose had slipped down the tank when the gardener tried to get out petrol for the lawn mower - I found out later when investigating).
It happen to get the gauge stuck just before it showed reserve, otherwise it did work...
She (my then already ex) accepted a ride in the middle of nowhere getting back to our hotel to find some petrol to bring back to my car.

The guy taking her - became her 2nd husband of 28 years now... white wedding and all.

So? Hard to tell the right thing at times and - or maybe: "never say never"

Axelle

Quote from: Venus-Castina on November 02, 2011, 10:35:06 AM
It really depends on what person is offering the ride. If it is a single shady looking male then absolutely not.
If there is a woman involved and they show a bit of class then yes.

well it all goes to say you can't judge a book by it's cover.  I have friends all over this continent, but the majority that I would rely on in a true crisis ARE shifty lookin mofo's.  My friend george for instance, has a shaggy mop of black hair on his head, trailing all the way down to his ass, has scars covering a good 40% of his face, and generally wears jeans ripped up and worn out with ancient t-shirts of his rock bands.  I gurantee if he was in a bad situation and needed to bum a ride he'd be turned down by 99.5% of the population...but he's the most kindhearted soul I know.

And plenty of serial killers have been cute, young, attractive people

I think we definitely all have our own definitions of "sketchy" and "shady."

I'd never get in another person's car if I didn't know them. Not a women, not a man, no one. I'm a small dude, I can't fight, and I tend to do really badly under pressure! I don't like cars much as it is, and someone else's would just freak me out so bad. I've seen a lot of movies, and things like that usually don't end well.

(not that I put a lot of faith in movies, but still)

I accept rides from strangers, but not if they seem to have a "bad vibe" or whatever you want to call it. Never had a bad experience with it (unless you consider spending an hour in a car with a religious guy trying to convert you, a bad experience). Now that I'm transitioning I do feel less vulnerable though, because I pass consistently as male and I think it's less likely someone would have bad intentions of offering a ride to a guy, than to a girl.

Living in Australia I've come across a few  backpackers who are looking for a lift from the  centre of the city...I'll give them a lift to the edge of the city to the highway as its more likely they'll get a lift from there on.
On the other hand I'm happy to walk

i'll let Scootaloo answer this....
Scootaloo - Never, never, never (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5UShyDku6g#)

QuoteWould you/Do you accept rides from strangers?

No.  Absolutely, no.  I conceal carry my gun quite often and even with that, still no.

Would NEVER 'accept' a 'ride' from a stranger even if he was reported to be a real good 'ride'.

Axelle

No way, I wouldn't have accepted a ride as a man.  My personal safety is paramount and this type of activity is way too risky.