Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I met this guy a few days ago at the Embarcadero. He straight up was into me and flirting. I got his number, he called me, etc...

Now things are awesome. This guy loves Megan Fox, football, and girls out of MAXIM. He loves metal and is your 100% straight guy. He tells me my face and ass are unbelievably hot and I get him excited. He said he can't wait to "eat out my puss". I probed him a bit to figure out what fetishes he had, he has none. He straight up said he wasn't into trans... He says he is open minded and likes gays, but keeps his distance.

This is beyond awesome...except for one thing. I'm a transsexual female who is fine with her genitals....

Since I've started dating again, I've met a ton of different guys.... I mean they are the garden bro/jock/homie variety. Guys of reasonable intelligence, they are overly cynical but they aren't ultra positive either. They feel good about themselves, they go out on dates often, etc... I got asked by my geek crush tonight to go to a party..

Every guy I've went out with. I've assumed he was chasing after my penis. After all, my natural personality is very sex driven. I was like that as a boy, but as a good...It's manifested itself more natural. After I tell every guy, they tell me "How is that possible?" they freak out and think I am joking. It isn't until I show them old ID photos and credit cards, do they accept it. They lose interest...they still are into me as a babe. But aren't into the penis aspect. The fact that I am an XY kinda repulses them though and they would never have sex with anyone who was born male. We still remain friends though.

In a way, it is kind of bittersweet to meet so many men and not have access to them beyond a certain point. I kinda wish I could meet more bisexual men... But finding bisexual men in the Castro is damn near impossible. They treat me like another fruitfly...

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 31, 2011, 03:48:48 AM
After I tell every guy, they tell me "How is that possible?" they freak out and think I am joking. It isn't until I show them old ID photos and credit cards, do they accept it. They lose interest...they still are into me as a babe. But aren't into the penis aspect. The fact that I am an XY kinda repulses them though and they would never have sex with anyone who was born male. We still remain friends though.

~There may be a correlation. ;) They are perceiving you as female and are attracted to you as such; but you are only confusing their sexual drive further by showing them your old photos. If you want them to remain even perhaps slightly interested or curious, you should cease doing that. You may not win them over, but you can at least challenge their way of thinking; who knows, you may even trigger a paradigm shift. :P Or a collapse.

I feel for you sis.  I have no doubt you will find someone, or more than one, who will be able to see past the anomaly to the woman standing in front of them.    I am finding that a lot of lesbians are not interested either. As a friend, no problem, but they just can't get their head around the genital difference.

I have been talking to one woman on the net, and by phone, who is okay with it, so we'll see.  As she was married before coming out and has had a child, the penis will not be a total surprise to her, if things progress.
Is there anywhere locally that the percentage of Bi guys might be higher, maybe art galleries or something?
Maybe joining a LGBT support group as a volunteer worker would let you meet everyone involved. That could maximise your chances. 

Happy hunting! Karen.

Quote from: justmeinoz on October 31, 2011, 04:52:50 AM
I feel for you sis.  I have no doubt you will find someone, or more than one, who will be able to see past the anomaly to the woman standing in front of them.    I am finding that a lot of lesbians are not interested either. As a friend, no problem, but they just can't get their head around the genital difference.

I have been talking to one woman on the net, and by phone, who is okay with it, so we'll see.  As she was married before coming out and has had a child, the penis will not be a total surprise to her, if things progress.
Is there anywhere locally that the percentage of Bi guys might be higher, maybe art galleries or something?
Maybe joining a LGBT support group as a volunteer worker would let you meet everyone involved. That could maximise your chances. 

Happy hunting! Karen.

No. I am avoiding most of the LGBT thing. I am not into transmen or women really.  Women are a lot more open minded than men. Men very much are hung up on their sexuality.. Women are more fluid.

Quote from: Akashiya Moka on October 31, 2011, 04:52:02 AM
~There may be a correlation. ;) They are perceiving you as female and are attracted to you as such; but you are only confusing their sexual drive further by showing them your old photos. If you want them to remain even perhaps slightly interested or curious, you should cease doing that. You may not win them over, but you can at least challenge their way of thinking; who knows, you may even trigger a paradigm shift. :P Or a collapse.

A hot person is a hot person... Men still like the visual aspect of me, but aren't into the sexual aspect once I reveal.

my reccomendation is to stop viewing people as "typical straight male" or "typical gay male" etc. etc.

People are individuals, and you'll have much more success by treating them as such and not classifying them into predetermined categories.

just my two cents.

feel free to disregard

Quote from: winter88 on October 31, 2011, 05:34:56 PM

1) Guys actually want to see be in public with me. Maybe not with you, but guys are like... "Look at her, we're going out"

2) I don't want srs...and your views are skewed.

3) Transvestite really? Guys go for me assuming I have a vagina and am cis.

4) Turn off the caps...you seem angry about something.

You need to broaden your prospects and go fishing somewhere other than the Castro district.

No straight man will want you. That is just the brutal and honest truth.

Gay men are also out.

You do have a very limited pool of potential sexual partners.

Find a bisexual guy.

Being non-op comes with its own set of chalenges. If you can't take the heat, hun you need to get out of the kitchen.

:icon_hug:

sorry to be so blunt

Quote from: cynthialee on October 31, 2011, 05:45:22 PM
You need to broaden your prospects and go fishing somewhere other than the Castro district.

No straight man will want you. That is just the brutal and honest truth.

Gay men are also out.

You do have a very limited pool of potential sexual partners.

Find a bisexual guy.

Being non-op comes with its own set of chalenges. If you can't take the heat, hun you need to get out of the kitchen.

:icon_hug:

sorry to be so blunt

Actually, I am sure many straight men DO WANT me. I can prove it.. ever think sex goes beyond the genitals? I mean really...this board is incredibly genital fixated and there are straight men who are open minded.

Like honestly, I am less than people here because I don't want srs? I mean even if you get srs, it doesn't change anything and guys don't want to screw someone who used to be a man.

Therefore, sick of hearing about the genitals. I am fine with my genitals...

Quote4) Turn off the caps...you seem angry about something.

   Lol yeah 4realz.

  She can get a straight man....just as long as she doesn't tell him she has a penis.  ;)

Quote from: Rukia87xo on October 31, 2011, 05:59:33 PM


   Lol yeah 4realz.

  She can get a straight man....just as long as she doesn't tell him she has a penis.  ;)

+1

Yeah...a straight man who wants to be seen in public with me, introduces me to his family, sees me as more than some secret, etc...

LOL...

threads like this humor me.

I'm beginning to understand that ignorance is just as rampant in the trans community as it is in the rest of the world.

Quote from: winter88 on October 31, 2011, 05:34:56 PM


YES IM SUPER EXPERIENCED WITH STRAIGHT GUYS AS YOU CAN TELL BEACUSE ITS ALL I GOT AFTER LOL.

You go after men? Seriously...I thought the men are suppose to come to you and give you attention. Not the other way around...

Don't do eeet!

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 31, 2011, 06:02:07 PM
Yeah...a straight man who wants to be seen in public with me, introduces me to his family, sees me as more than some secret, etc...

   Hey what he doesn't know won't hurt him right? lol

  I think it's a good way to test a guy, if he really likes you and isn't just trying to get into your pants then denying him sex shouldn't be a problem.

Quote from: winter88 on October 31, 2011, 06:17:23 PM
m

Mono-alphabetic response... I see where ya goin with that.

I disagree.

even men who aren't "trying to get in a girl's pants" typically intend to have sex one day.

sex is a huge factor in the ritual of human affection.

Find someone who will accept you for who you are, including your genitals instead of basing a relationship upon a lie

Quote from: Rukia87xo on October 31, 2011, 06:13:33 PM

   Hey what he doesn't know won't hurt him right? lol

  I think it's a good way to test a guy, if he really likes you and isn't just trying to get into your pants then denying him sex shouldn't be a problem.

They try to get into my pants for that sweet sweet vagina. Seriously...guys are like, "send me a pic of your pussy!"

It's hilarious and flattering at the same time.

Quote from: OrderOfOriah on October 31, 2011, 06:18:56 PM
I disagree.

even men who aren't "trying to get in a girl's pants" typically intend to have sex one day.

sex is a huge factor in the ritual of human affection.

  She could still perform oral sex on him. lolz  ;)

As someone who is exclusively attracted to straight men, I can sympathize with your position. In the last 1.5 years, I've had to have "the talk" many times. Their response is always one of these four:

1) That's ok. I still want to date you, but we have to keep your trans-ness a secret.

2) Wow that's hot. I want to have sex with you and still want to date you, but we have to keep your trans-ness a secret.

3) Eh, not for me, but let's still be friends.

4) WHAT THE FFFFFF? GTFO FREAK

I went into the whole pre-op TS thing expecting to always hear 3 and 4, but 1 and 2 are also surprisingly common. Straight men being attracted to transsexuals is a very real phenomenon (note the massive TS porn genre), and is believed to be a form of auto-eroticism where a man projects part of himself onto his fantasy of a beautiful woman. Straight men simply not caring about which genitalia you have is also not unheard of, but is more contingent on them becoming quickly attracted to your personality and character. From what I've observed, most of their reservations stem from the social stigma of dating a transwoman rather than actually being opposed to dating you.

My advice (and what has worked for me in the past) is to not make the earliest stages of interaction overtly sexual. That way they aren't primarily thinking about inserting their penis into your nonexistent vagina right off the bat. Let them get to know you first, make them laugh, all that sappy romantic comedy stuff. The more they're focused on the real you, the better chance they won't want to go without you.   

My "success" rate (of the relationship or beginnings of the relationship not ending right after I have to break the news) is about 40%  :-\
That being said, I've found it a lot easier to just use a mainstream dating site and put the info right in my profile. That way I know the only people who message me are ones who will be ok with it.

Maybe straight men do like vagina's more than a penis.

Quote from: annette on October 31, 2011, 07:21:01 PM
Maybe straight men do like vagina's more than a penis.

QFT


I really didn't mean to offend but it seems to me that any straight guy who is into you will likely back out when you out yourself.

Quote from: annette on October 31, 2011, 07:21:01 PM
Maybe straight men do like vagina's more than a penis.

That's obviously true but to tell the OP that no straight man will want her is completely false. I've been in a relationship with a straight man for 5 years and I'm pre-srs. We are no different than the next heterosexual couple.

Pre srs is quite a difference with non srs.
I can imagine a man falls in love with you and is waiting for that day. Hey, you love someone, so a little patient is necessary.
Masha will never go for srs, there will be not that day, of course that's her choice and we all have to respect that but I can imagine that straight man will lose attention.
That's exactly what she have said.
I think for her is a very small group of men who would like that, trouble for her is, how to find them.

google Futanari

It's a legitimate fettish, and many people are looking for someone just like that

Quote from: cynthialee on October 31, 2011, 07:27:57 PM
QFT


I really didn't mean to offend but it seems to me that any straight guy who is into you will likely back out when you out yourself.

I never had any problems with straight men, the country I am from is know ed for saying things directly, it's honest maybe a bit raw but honest, not using nice words to say ugly things but speaking directly what they think it's the truth.
It's a matter of fact, I can't say it in another way, most straight men like the womanly things, that's including the anatomy parts.
That's what the topic is about isn't it?
The straight men will back out when they know about the male parts, let's face it, we don't hear that for the first time.

I know you don't want to offend anyone, and I'm not offended. :)

Quote from: OrderOfOriah on October 31, 2011, 07:45:18 PM
google Futanari

It's a legitimate fettish, and many people are looking for someone just like that

I don't think she want to be a fettish, she want to be loved and respected for what she is.
Aren't we all looking for love?

   Well if he isn't satisfied with oral sex alone then i guess she could expose herself and if he's ok with it "suggest" a 3-some with another woman to please his sexual needs.

 


  Problem solved.  :)

Quote from: annette on October 31, 2011, 07:35:53 PM
Pre srs is quite a difference with non srs.
I can imagine a man falls in love with you and is waiting for that day. Hey, you love someone, so a little patient is necessary.
Masha will never go for srs, there will be not that day, of course that's her choice and we all have to respect that but I can imagine that straight man will lose attention.
That's exactly what she have said.
I think for her is a very small group of men who would like that, trouble for her is, how to find them.

Both pre and non srs have penises so there's no difference. I know for a fact that if I change my mind and don't get srs, he will stay with me until death do us part. He fell in love with me not for my genitals nor future genitals. Besides, ass is just as pleasurable to men as a vagina is.

Also, just because you are post-op doesn't automatically mean a straight guy will want you. Your past alone is enough to disgust a few. And I'm sure many would want to form a family and have kids something post-ops can't provide, sadly. So, don't put the OP down just because she is non-op.

It is possible to love someone and to also allow them thier fetish.

Goddess knows I am a piece of work with a laundry list of kinks and fetishes.

I am pretty sure that even though I really enjoy my spouses dual nature to the point of fetish that we are still madly in love.

Edit: Sevan just asured me it is mutual. I engage hir bisexual nature easily with my dualistic body.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on October 31, 2011, 07:28:15 PM
That's obviously true but to tell the OP that no straight man will want her is completely false. I've been in a relationship with a straight man for 5 years and I'm pre-srs. We are no different than the next heterosexual couple.

To the people who think I'm unwanted(yeah right...):
It's not easy being green.

Quote from: cynthialee on October 31, 2011, 08:10:22 PM
It is possible to love someone and to also allow them thier fetish.

Goddess knows I am a piece of work with a laundry list of kinks and fetishes.

I am pretty sure that even though I really enjoy my spouses dual nature to the point of fetish that we are still madly in love.

I could easily say your relationship with Sevan is a reverse straight relationship. People are different and to shoe horn straight men into a basis on my sexual organs is problematic.

You have an unconventional relationship, but you also have an open mind.

A reverse straight relationship....
hmmmm

I guess you are right in a way.

;)

Quote from: cynthialee on October 31, 2011, 09:53:23 PM
A reverse straight relationship....
hmmmm

I guess you are right in a way.

;)

I am open to your relationship. I don't understand it...but whatever.

I expect you to do the same for the men who are into me.

Quote from: OrderOfOriah on October 31, 2011, 07:45:18 PM
google Futanari

It's a legitimate fettish, and many people are looking for someone just like that

Thanks for reducing me to a fetish. I am an actual person, but whatever.

You're a class act.

There are obviously straight men who are able to cope with the non/pre0op situation, but I think you might have to cast you net fairly wide and wait a while  to find the right person.  Still LA has a fairly large population, close to my whole country if I remember rightly, so there are bound to be some out there.

Good luck Sis, anyone you find stands a pretty good chance of being a keeper.

Karen.

Quote from: justmeinoz on October 31, 2011, 10:26:59 PM
There are obviously straight men who are able to cope with the non/pre0op situation, but I think you might have to cast you net fairly wide and wait a while  to find the right person.  Still LA has a fairly large population, close to my whole country if I remember rightly, so there are bound to be some out there.

Good luck Sis, anyone you find stands a pretty good chance of being a keeper.

Karen.

I'm from California. But cool,. whatever.

Thanks

You mentioned the Castro, so I figured you were from LA. Similar population to Oz.

I completely do respect that some straight men are going to be into you.

My best friend is a woman who has been pre op for over 30 years and she and her man just had their 25th aniversary. I wouldn't peg him for anything but straight.

But you have to admit that finding a straight guy who is ok with a pre-op grl is going to be rare as hens teeth.

Quote from: cynthialee on October 31, 2011, 10:37:12 PM

But you have to admit that finding a straight guy who is ok with a pre-op grl is going to be rare as hens teeth.

Naw, I don't have to admit anything.

Thats the ol' fightin' spirit!

;)

Quote from: cynthialee on October 31, 2011, 10:41:03 PM
Thats the ol' fightin' spirit!

;)

Naw, just reality... get off the computer and realize people aren't b&w. There are lots of sweet guys out there...

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 31, 2011, 05:49:42 PM
Actually, I am sure many straight men DO WANT me. I can prove it.. ever think sex goes beyond the genitals? I mean really...this board is incredibly genital fixated and there are straight men who are open minded.

Like honestly, I am less than people here because I don't want srs? I mean even if you get srs, it doesn't change anything and guys don't want to screw someone who used to be a man.

Therefore, sick of hearing about the genitals. I am fine with my genitals...

I agree I find it annoying when people on here refer to ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s as "in the closet" or "sexually confused" or whatever.

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on October 31, 2011, 10:46:16 PM
I agree I find it annoying when people on here refer to ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s as "in the closet" or "sexually confused" or whatever.

What is irony?

The Castro is in SF, not LA.  LA has West Hollywood.  They are kinda the same, but no place is really the Castro.  Making sweeping statements about gay culture/subculture based on The Castro is like having an epic theory about all drinking everywhere based on the French Quarter of New Orleans.  And The Castro is only one of three gay areas in SF (4.5 if you want to count the girls in too).  It's kinda of a Disney Gay - all fashionable and not really scary, like say Folsom in SOMA can be.  And it does not have that real obvious marginal gay hustler underbelly like Polk Street has.

And everyone is someone's fetish unless you are really, really boring.  Like dull and vapid - no personality or sense of adventure at all - boring.  A fetish is just a sex toy, its for people who know what they like and have worked on it enough to know what about that really works for them.

Quote from: tekla on October 31, 2011, 10:56:10 PM
The Castro is in SF, not LA.  LA has West Hollywood.  They are kinda the same, but no place is really the Castro.  Making sweeping statements about gay culture/subculture based on The Castro is like having an epic theory about all drinking everywhere based on the French Quarter of New Orleans.  And The Castro is only one of three gay areas in SF (4.5 if you want to count the girls in too).  It's kinda of a Disney Gay - all fashionable and not really scary, like say Folsom in SOMA can be.  And it does not have that real obvious marginal gay hustler underbelly like Polk Street has.

Thats the Castro. I used to kick it in Badlands every weekend... When I was a boy it was the place I could be a douche and get away with it.

Quote from: tekla on October 31, 2011, 10:56:10 PM
... everyone is someone's fetish unless you are really, really boring.  Like dull and vapid - no personality or sense of adventure at all - boring.  A fetish is just a sex toy, its for people who know what they like and have worked on it enough to know what about that really works for them.

Well put!

it was the place I could be a douche and get away with it

I thought that was their motto.  About my least favorite Castro bar of all time.  It was wall to wall douche-bags most of the time, then came June.  Yikes.  Met the owner once, not surprisingly he was a douche too.

Quote from: tekla on November 01, 2011, 12:24:08 AM
it was the place I could be a douche and get away with it

I thought that was their motto.  About my least favorite Castro bar of all time.  It was wall to wall douche-bags most of the time, then came June.  Yikes.  Met the owner once, not surprisingly he was a douche too.

Thats my bar...where I learned my tricks and gave men my treats in the supermarket parking after a few mixed drinks and Britney.

Yeah, $20 bucks, same as downtown.

Quote from: tekla on November 01, 2011, 12:32:37 AM
Yeah, $20 bucks, same as downtown.

I don't do crap like that anymore and I didn't actually collect money. I was always kissing a Pinoy in the corner...and we decided to go do stuff in the parking lot.

Being a ts made me actually respect myself.

Straight guys have high fixation on the pussy, even if they may fall for some attractive pre-op, during the relationship they are likely to encourage their pre-op partner for srs, so even if one show self-acceptance of the penis, it is not sign of respect for the guy's feeling and expectation, such self-acceptance is a turn-off for them. If a MTF considered herself female, she should pretend as well as act all the way from srs to refraining from revealing true identity directly.

I have known MTF who don't pass physically, and is contented for never being able to find a straight male as partner, is prepared to live alone, but nontheless considered srs due to the wish to have a pussy. I can see that you can pass fairy well, it is such a waste not willing to have additional surgery to attained the needed look physically.

Quote from: Jacelyn on November 01, 2011, 02:19:57 AM
I have known MTF who don't pass physically, and is contented for never being able to find a straight male as partner, is prepared to live alone, but nontheless considered srs due to the wish to have a pussy. I can see that you can pass fairy well, it is such a waste not willing to have additional surgery to attained the needed look physically.

+1

Thanks

Thats what a lot of my friends tell me... that I should go all the way. I don't know. rather get minor ffs and breast augmentation.

Quote from: Jacelyn on November 01, 2011, 02:19:57 AM
Straight guys have high fixation on the pussy, even if they may fall for some attractive pre-op, during the relationship they are likely to encourage their pre-op partner for srs, so even if one show self-acceptance of the penis, it is not sign of respect for the guy's feeling and expectation, such self-acceptance is a turn-off for them. If a MTF considered herself female, she should pretend as well as act all the way from srs to refraining from revealing true identity directly.

Go crawl back into your hole. It's clear you're most at home in the dark

locked

This thread is going no where