Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Has this happened to you? Regardless, how do you feel about it?

Ever since about 6 months on T (it's been over 13 now) I've been physically unable to cry. It's awesome.

I lost the ability to cry 5 years ago and I'm not even on T yet. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I start. I just wish I had some other option for releasing emotions hah

You could try hitting things. :P

Yeah, I can't really cry anymore, and I'd say it happened to me about the same time--around six months on T. Overall I'm happy about it because I used to want to start crying anytime I got upset and I felt like a big baby. Sometimes it's a little frustrating because I feel like crying would be a release from stress but mostly it's a positive change for me.

my mtf friend said she felt it where more easy to cry after taking homones,

I am able to cry but I think I cry less than before I find it kinda annoying in some way and in other ways not.

Also, it sorta looks like I'm crying in my avatar but I'm no I'm just drunk.

Quote from: Harbor on October 31, 2011, 05:56:16 PM
Overall I'm happy about it because I used to want to start crying anytime I got upset and I felt like a big baby. Sometimes it's a little frustrating because I feel like crying would be a release from stress but mostly it's a positive change for me.

Yeah, same. Expressing emotions in a more stereotypical male way gives me a sense of normalcy.
As for taking it out by other means.... I punch things usually.

When Sevan started T the ability to cry seemed lost for awhile.

Eventualy something came up that broke hir threshold and the tears came. Now Sevan can cry, it just takes allot more to get hir to that point than it ussed to back in the girl days.

Your emotions are still there, they are just mutted somewhat. You will likely cry again some day. Your crying threshold is just higher than you are ussed to.

Just do not bottle it up. If you feel the need for emotional release do not deny it, let it out.

Happened to me but I hate it. It makes it harder for me to convey my emotions.

I had just rediscovered my emotions when I started T and they shut down again. So I made a conscious decision to retrain myself how to cry.

At a certain point, I realized that I was under so much stress that not crying was actually hurting me. And it doesn't hurt that my therapist told me that he cries. It's not like we're bursting into tears in public--we only have our self-judgment to deal with.

It's funny. Some guys are so glad to give up crying, and they feel more masculine. I hated crying when I was living as a girl because I saw it as girly and because I couldn't always control it. Not unless I went into full zombie mode. Now I don't mind crying so much because I know I'm a man. But I wouldn't want to get emotional in public.

Obviously it is a natural reaction to the hormone.

It is a eveoltionary trait that enables men to be violent for the protection of the primal tribe without going into emotional overload.

When we transition there is bound to be something that we miss from our old lives.
For me it is male strength. I miss it. But not enough to detransition. Being a woman is what I am. I can not give up my soul for some strength. The greatest gift I recieved in my transition and from E was the ability to conect with others and express my emotions freely.
It stands to reason to me that one of the things that many transwomen are so happy to recieve (the ability to easily embrace thier emotions) would be one of the things that a transman might miss.

But it is not a loss at all. You guys still have that emotional response.
Instead of a flowing steam on the surface which anyone can tap; your emotions are a deep underground river that is powerful and strong. Only those people who can get close to you will be able to tap that river of emotions.

It is just the way of things.
Embrace it and revel in it.
You are men.

:icon_hug:

My experience has been a lot like Arch's. I thought I'd be glad to get rid of crying - and I am glad that I have control over it - but a certain amount of stress and depression and I was just needing to do something, and I don't always have the energy to destroy something. My inability to cry for a good 6 months, with one exception, was just wearing me out more. Strangely, for the last month I've been crying almost too easily, and I haven't adjusted my dose... but my dad cries really easily, so it might just be my natural state.

I used to cry so easily...now my eyes well up and my throat tightens, but I can't cry. It's nice. :3

I cried a lot pre-T, but that wasn't enough, I was also extremely aggressive. I smashed things against the floor and punched walls WHILE crying. And the angrier I was, the more I cried. It was totally confusing.

Now my emotions are much better organised and controlled, no more mixed emotions of massive explosive chaos.

I don't cry as easily anymore, and I don't get angry as easily either, but it's still there given a strong enough trigger.

My eyes also hurt and feel dry or something since starting T. I'm physically unable to cry. Hell, I was crying but there were zero tears. Just a scrunched up face and a tiny bit of a runny nose.

@cynthialee :( I don't like sexism.

yeah, I havent cried in a long time, i used to cry when I got mad pre T, that never ever happens now, only time I tear up now is if something really sad happens, and its really hard to get to that point.  it doesnt bother me at all, in fact I wish i never teared up at all, because i really dont like it

Quote from: Nygeel on October 31, 2011, 11:43:59 PM
My eyes also hurt and feel dry or something since starting T.

This is interesting. My eyes went through some fairly dramatic (negative) changes right after I started T, but I thought it was just age-related. Maybe it's a combination of age and hormones. I had all sorts of positive health benefits, too, so I can't complain too much...as long as my RBC and cholesterol stay within safe range.

Quote from: Gifted on October 31, 2011, 04:31:54 PM
Has this happened to you? Regardless, how do you feel about it?

Ever since about 6 months on T (it's been over 13 now) I've been physically unable to cry. It's awesome.

I've pretty much lost the ability to cry, though I've heard it can come back.  I don't think it's very awesome not to be able to cry cause sometimes I really want to and just can't.  Pre-T I always felt better after a good cry.

Quote from: Andy8715 on November 01, 2011, 12:16:58 AMPre-T I always felt better after a good cry.

Funny, I always felt pretty horrible after crying when I was pre-T. Now I accept it as a perfectly natural way of working off some of my stress.

Quote from: Jayr on October 31, 2011, 08:50:51 PM
Same here. I sometimes end up destroying stuff :x

I threw my MacBook across the room once. That didn't end well.

Quote from: cynthialee on October 31, 2011, 10:23:06 PM
It is a eveoltionary trait that enables men to be violent for the protection of the primal tribe without going into emotional overload.

But it is not a loss at all. You guys still have that emotional response.
Instead of a flowing steam on the surface which anyone can tap; your emotions are a deep underground river that is powerful and strong. Only those people who can get close to you will be able to tap that river of emotions.

Good point and well said.

Poking my head in to say I love this thread.

I know how amazing it felt to finally be physically capable of crying when I started estrogen, and I had yet to hear any FTMs weigh in on how it felt to (or even if they had) lose that. Or be rid of it, if that's your preferred framing. :) Most often I would read accounts from FTMs reacting negatively to the emotional changes at first. As always, glad to hear when things are working out for others!

Happened to me very early. One of my favorite changes.

For me, it's like a form of justice or balance. I hated crying. It was the girliest thing about me and caused much embarrassment and grief when I just could not shut it off. No more. Good riddence. There is still some ability to tear up, but that's a trait of a grown man who feels.
That is acceptable.

The need to do something physical with emotional stuff has been there for me a long time.
Probably a good thing to have already learned.

Pre-T I would cry out of frustration, which was really frustrating.  I didn't do it on purpose, it just came out.  Thankfully that is gone now.

When I first started T, probably the first year, I was UNABLE to cry.  I went through some emotional stuff but was unable to let it out and it was so frustrating to not have a release.

I don't know when it came back, but I'm able to cry now.  I don't cry as much as I used to which is awesome, but I am able to get wet eyes/a few tears when the moment calls for it.

While I do hate not being able to have a good cry after a long frustrating day as I mentioned earlier what I do love is that now I don't cry like I used to at work.  Before anytime I had confrontation with anyone or was dealing with tough customers I would start crying.  Hard to have a conversation with your bosses where you are trying to get them to respect you as a man and you start crying hard.  :/ I hated that.

Quote from: Andy8715 on November 03, 2011, 12:25:47 AM
While I do hate not being able to have a good cry after a long frustrating day as I mentioned earlier what I do love is that now I don't cry like I used to at work.  Before anytime I had confrontation with anyone or was dealing with tough customers I would start crying.  Hard to have a conversation with your bosses where you are trying to get them to respect you as a man and you start crying hard.  :/ I hated that.

the customer thing has happened to me a few times, some people are just so damn rude, had to have sucked to start crying though, i feel ya

When you say you lost your ability to cry, do you also lose your ability to get emotionaly excited in a positive way?. I am afraid I could lost that if I go on T, because I am a very emotional person and thats one of the greatest sources of happiness I have. I am extremelly sensitive listening to music. It takes me to another world and I often am about to cry, overwhelmed by that feeling of power, freedom and beauty that a distorted electric guitar in punk or heavy metal music creates in my head.. I guess that's a very androgynous state  ;D
I am a musician and music is my life. I am not a woman, I am an emotional man and I am afraid I could lose that.
On the other hand I can't repress crying in many other situations and I would be happy to avoid that. Does testosterone avoid only the crying or also all emotions?

I made a vow to myself to stop crying when I was 8 or 9. Ever since then I've felt that crying means a personal failure on my part. I cry about twice a year, when everything becomes way too much for me. I did not cry during my aunt's funeral, and I'm still ashamed of myself because of that, I could feel my throat tighten up but my eyes were completely dry. I haven't started T yet.

Quote from: beyondlabels on November 03, 2011, 03:59:19 AM
When you say you lost your ability to cry, do you also lose your ability to get emotionaly excited in a positive way?. I am afraid I could lost that if I go on T, because I am a very emotional person and thats one of the greatest sources of happiness I have. I am extremelly sensitive listening to music. It takes me to another world and I often am about to cry, overwhelmed by that feeling of power, freedom and beauty that a distorted electric guitar in punk or heavy metal music creates in my head.. I guess that's a very androgynous state  ;D
I am a musician and music is my life. I am not a woman, I am an emotional man and I am afraid I could lose that.
On the other hand I can't repress crying in many other situations and I would be happy to avoid that. Does testosterone avoid only the crying or also all emotions?

I've become a lot less sentimental and less emotional overall, yes. T has given me a more flat affect. I like it.
Probably not what you wanted to hear, though.  :-\