Susan's Place Transgender Resources

   Like the title says, do you like being trans & how do you feel about it? 


  I hate being transgender. I thought i had made peace with the fact that i'm trans but i guess not. I feel so much better now that i'm the real me again but the 5 years of hell i went thru after de-transitioning haunts me still. My roomate & best friend says that i should feel lucky that i'm pretty and don't have trouble passing as female but even so it bothers me immensely that i can never have periods and can't get pregnant, it bothers me that i'm not a genetic female like her. I hate dealing with the dysphoria that comes with being trans....i seriously wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy.

  End rant  :icon_raving:   

Same body...more boobies/fat.

I had kinda lived very femme as a boy... This is just femmier.

I can get away with more crap though and thats whats important. I accept myself and I like it...

But I don't pontificate on it.

I do kinda miss being a gay boy. I miss being able to go to a bar, meet a guy and screw the crap out of him or blow him in the parking lot. My friends told me, "you look better than before and this is right for you". I suppose it's for the best... I question why I am in a long term relationship with a married man.

Everytime I go to the Castro...I become more and more distant from my gay side. I swear most of the men see me as another girl... I lost that connection with gay man and I miss it. But thats for the best.

 Being trans is bittersweet - much like being an adult in a world of children. We know pain and suffering that few others do, and we often carry fragments of those feelings with us forever. We are infertile, and dependent on medicine to survive, and our past or present carry a stigma that crushes people.

But in light of those things, we do have a significant perspective that no one else can have; the fact of our often dual lives matures us, and hopefully lets us see things more fairly. By being put through what we have by the hands of other people, those that don't become bitter for it at least grow to appreciate the awesomeness of simple compassion and respect, and the value of diversity. What we've done and been through makes us better people, I believe, and makes life more interesting.

Would I have preferred to not be trans? Certainly; I doubt anyone would prefer being trans. But in the very least, I think I can come to peace with it, because while I am incapable of certain priceless things, have missed out on essential experiences, and am doomed to always carry this with me, I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I wouldn't develop into the person I'm going to be. A little trans pride goes a long way, but even at a logical level, being trans is not without its blessings.

Once in a while I do feel -chosen- funny as it may sound.

Then I actually feel proud to have accomplished to BE who I really am.
That is something that many folks can just NOT claim for themselves trans, cis or otherwise.

Right now that's what I feel - real good - :-)
Axelle

Trans is 15 years of not-quite-living, and all the memories and all the damage that comes with.

But it is what it is, and nothing I do will change that. I'm working on dealing with my issues and moving on with my life. Don't want to waste any more of it.

I voted "I hate it" because.. who actually WANTS to be in the wrong body.  I would rather be a trans male, then a female, but other then that, no I dont like/want to be trans, I want to be a normal guy

I voted "Eh it's ok i guess?" because while I do have strong feelings about it and it carries its own set of miseries, I agree with a good bit of what Kelly said.

I also voted that way because I want very much to come to terms with and learn to love who I am and what the world is. I can't just keep hating it.

Nope but do I even got a choice? Nope. It's all about learning to accept yourself.

I hate it!!!!!

I'm close to losing my mother.
I feel isolated from life.
I'll never have the joy of bringing a life into this world.
I'm scared I wont pass, even with HRT & FFS.
I can't go into many clothes shops without getting strange looks from people for looking at (& god forbid buying) womens clothes.

Some people have said I chose this. . . I DIDN'T. . . . I chose to try & ignore it & look what that got me, 20 years of drug abuse to try & hide from my own thoughts & feelings.

Being trans is a laugh a minute (was that a bit too sarcastic?)

Quote from: JenJen2011 on November 08, 2011, 02:20:45 PM
Nope but do I even got a choice? Nope. It's all about learning to accept yourself.

Self acceptance is the most important part.

   I still hate being trans but i guess i just have to live with the hand i've been dealt.
 



     Thx Kelly, reading your post actually made me feel better.  + 1   :)

Could be worse.  If they can figure out how to let us be pregnant (preferably with a uterus made from our own stem cells) in the next 15-20 years, I would truly like to experience that.  But otherwise it's not a whole lot different than being cis for us relatively young, passable transitioners.  I obviously can't relive the past so I try not to let it bug me.

Quote from: AmySmiles on November 08, 2011, 05:51:36 PM
Could be worse.  If they can figure out how to let us be pregnant (preferably with a uterus made from our own stem cells) in the next 15-20 years, I would truly like to experience that.

  I don't think it's that far off from happening. I don't remember where i read this but some woman in Thailand had ovaries transplanted and at first the body didn't reject the new organs and she was able to experience her first period before her body rejected the new organs and they became infected. I also read that impregnating a MTF woman is actually possible but very very risky.

   Gotta love Thailand!  :D

I hate it. With a passion. It's an incredibly difficult journey, it's tedious, and it altogether isn't a very pleasant experience. I sometimes wish I didn't have these feelings at all -- they're weird as hell, I mean really, but they're so unrelentingly strong. I love the sincerity of most trans-folk, and I deeply respect the passion and tenacity to keep up with transition and all it's hardships, but I hate the "affliction" that we all must live with. The truth of it, though, is that it can all be considered "strange" by society, or even by like-minded people.

Well, this is starting to sound like "I'm a vampire!" confessions... so, my point is that I know what it feels like, it sucks overall, and I wouldn't wish this on anyone -- and doomed be to thee family of thine trans...person! Kinda meaning, I wonder if this thing kind of runs in the family? I don't know but I fear for my brothers sometimes. This is tough stuff! >.>

Quote from: Kelly J. P. on November 08, 2011, 02:55:13 AM
Being trans is bittersweet - much like being an adult in a world of children. We know pain and suffering that few others do, and we often carry fragments of those feelings with us forever. We are infertile, and dependent on medicine to survive, and our past or present carry a stigma that crushes people.

But in light of those things, we do have a significant perspective that no one else can have; the fact of our often dual lives matures us, and hopefully lets us see things more fairly. By being put through what we have by the hands of other people, those that don't become bitter for it at least grow to appreciate the awesomeness of simple compassion and respect, and the value of diversity. What we've done and been through makes us better people, I believe, and makes life more interesting.

Would I have preferred to not be trans? Certainly; I doubt anyone would prefer being trans. But in the very least, I think I can come to peace with it, because while I am incapable of certain priceless things, have missed out on essential experiences, and am doomed to always carry this with me, I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I wouldn't develop into the person I'm going to be. A little trans pride goes a long way, but even at a logical level, being trans is not without its blessings.

Kelly worded it perfectly.

i didn't vote, because i really don't know how to answer, but i feel like being transsexual is a struggle in some ways, but it's something i like to accept as part of who i am. i think i learned to appreciate more and become a deeper thinker by being born in a body society sees in one way, but i feel in another.

For the most part, society's intolerance is the worst part of being trans.  However, over time one learns to love themselves despite it.  I believe most judgmental cis people would be horrified if they woke up in the wrong sex's body.  Yet they just can't empathize with something that will never be inflicted upon them.  Pain, old age, disability, loneliness, grief - these are things they can empathize with because it might happen to them or already has.

Other than that, I can deal with being trans alright.  Some parts of it are even awesome, like the complete bliss when you free yourself of your given gender role's obligations and indulge in every little thing you always avoided but desired so badly.  It feels rebellious and fun, like spitting in society's face for their idiotic binary gender system. :D

Every day it hurts.

But I'd rather be this than nothing.

Although it has often been a struggle, I feel that being trans is a gift, a blessing. Coming to terms with this gift has made me who I am, and deepened my understanding in ways that I likely never would have encountered in any other path. Of course, I'm still figuring out how to totally use this strange gift.

Z

I took the neutral vote.

I hate my body, I hate that I cannot ever have a real fully functioning penis. I hate that at this point in my life I have to pretend to be someone I am not outside of my house. It hurts to only be me and feel comfortable in my own home. It hurts to know that if I don't lose some of my family completely, I will never have those relationships be as strong. I have nightmares about what will happen when I tell my dad. Though, in the family sense, I am from the south originally, and family ties in the area I grew up in are very important. I worry about my dad still caring about me and talking to me, but that fear is the same one I have had my entire life and making him proud has always coloured my life a little.

That being said, I also feel much happier with myself since I was able to accept it. A lot of my worries, which now seem so silly, have left. I feel so much closer to my partner now. The sex has been great. I don't feel like I am just suspended in this gray, hazy place anymore. It makes me happy to know that I have a special view on life. I am learning to love myself for the first time in my life. And that alone is worth all the sadness I feel about being in the wrong body.

Would I have chosen to be trans? Of course not. I don't think anyone would. It's a horrible feeling to look in the mirror and see a stranger, see something that you desperately wish you didn't. But, I am learning to make the most of my life. I only get one, and I intend to make it fullfilling as possible.

Pre T I would have said I hated it, but now I'm not quite sure where I am.

I don't hate being trans but i'm not sure i'm ok with it yet. Being trans has been a struggle and still today it makes things harder for me. These days I'm less dysphoric and much, much happier and no longer hate being trans, i'd love to be cis but i'm not and i'm mostly ok with that. The thing now that makes me occasionally hate being trans is shame, most of the time I don't think about being trans anymore, so I don't notice it and fool myself into thinking i'm ok with being a trans man, but when thinking about it I feel like a freak. Now i've been on T over a year and have had top surgery, trans things aren't on my mind like they used to be, so most of the time i'm neutral on being trans.

w00t!  I'm special  :P

I guess I'm ok with the fact that I am trans. But I am not ok with what that means. If that makes sense...

I'm uncomfortable in my body. I hate how people can get treated. But I don't hate.

Still... I voted hate it.

Im ok with it on some days and I feel it was a gift on other days while a couple days here and there I did not care for it.

But for the most part I look at it as a gift; to experience something not too many people on this planet experiences...to experience both genders in one life.

It is.

I hate every second and facet of it except for one singular thing.
I'd never have ended up with my boyfriend if not for my wrongbits. He's straight, but he's dating me and while he's known (and liked) me for 5 years or so, he started dating me about a month before I started living full time male, and was the first person to really back me up on all of this.

He bats down awkward questions from his coworkers who only know him as a nerdy, occasionally flirtatious straight guy with comments like "people change" or "So I'm bisexual, whatever" or any other little thing he thinks up. Up until yesterday, i kept thinking I'd give anything to have the right body, but I'd amend that now. I'd give anything to lose this goddam chest. The fronthole? Its got its uses. And yes, as he said, he'd still love me endlessly. And yes, as he also said, he'd still cling to me and hold me and be the perfect boyfriend, but I couldn't bear losing the only sex that makes me feel right. I love this guy, more than anything in the world. And if he can accept me for all that's wrong with me, I can accept a wayward hole for giving me some exceptionally good times with him.

(breaking news: CHAOS IS A COMPLETE SAP)

Quote from: N.Chaos on November 09, 2011, 10:45:57 PM


(breaking news: CHAOS IS A COMPLETE SAP)

Who is CHAOS?

  Wow 2 people voted they love being trans haha. :D

As much as I hate myself, and don't want to be trans; it's me and who I am for now>  Though it sucks, I can't just snap my fingers and change it.  So I'll just keep trying and hoping for the best in the end.

Quote from: Rukia87xo on November 09, 2011, 11:40:02 PM
  Wow 2 people voted they love being trans haha. :D

And one of those people was Chaz Bono.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 09, 2011, 10:56:00 PM
Who is CHAOS?

Me, N.Chaos. I sometimes refer to myself in the third person for the giggles. Sorry about the confusion there.

Quite frankly I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and life would have been a lot simpler and more pleasant without it.  As I appear to be stuck with it, I will do my best to cope with it until such times as my mind and body can become congruent.

Karen.

I obviously wish it wasn't an issue.  It's the most daunting thing I've ever dealt with, but I'm not sure who I'd be if things had happened differently.  I don't hate where being "trans" has brought my life.  I see things getting better the more I accept it.

Usually I'm cool with it, but lately I've been feeling a lot of anxiety, guilt and shame. I think it's because I really want to start transitioning, but my girlfriend isn't cool with it, so I'm just sitting tight for now. Feels bad, man.

It doesn't bother me anymore.

I am whom I am plain and simple as that. If it's something I don't like I can change then I do but if it's something I can't I accept it and learn to love myself. I am who I am and I refuse to be told I need to hate this or that about myself anymore.

Sometimes I hate it, sometimes it's okay. It's somewhat better now that I'm on hormones and have started passing consistently, and I'm still early enough into it that I think more about passing than I do about being trans in general. I think once I get more used to being full-time I'll be thinking about everything else a lot more and that might not be so great, but eh. I'll deal with that when it happens.

Mostly, when I really think about it, I just think it's weird - like, in a "what are the odds?" kind of way. It feels really unlucky but also random to the point of ridiculousness, and sometimes I'm actually kind of amused by it. But then, I'm kind of amused by everything now and then. It's something that's so normal for me and yet so unusual to a lot of people that I kind of want to be all "hey guys look at me I'm trans AREN'T I FASCINATING."

I'm probably not explaining this very well.

I used to hate it! Like, why me, why did I have to get stuck with this, why couldn't I have been a GG. Of course I'd still rather be cis than trans. But I've grown a thick skin. Yeah this is my condition, so what? Sometimes I will even wear my trans flag earrings when going out, just out of spite. :D

I hate it... it's because of this that my life and thus memories are so full of pain and isolation, Hence why I'm so angry and bitter today.

  I voted I hate it.  :'(

I dont really like it, but I've come to peace with it.

Quote from: Caseyy on November 15, 2011, 11:23:03 PM
It gives me a hell of a lot of reasons to be angry with others, particularly family. So I don't like that aspect. But I'm neutral about it; if I was cis I'd be happy, but being trans is OK. I don't believe there is anything wrong with me for being this way. It's just an extra challenge in life.

Yeah, this is very true.  If I wasn't trans, my family wouldn't be in pain. :(  Everything else is going swimmingly for me but my family can't cope and I've been cut off from them for the last 5 months.

I dont like the fact that I wasnt born male, and I certainly dont like my body as it is now, but I can accept myself now and I've come to terms with the fact that I'm trans. I present as male, my friends and family know me as male (though admittedly some family members dont like it, but thats their problem not mine and they need to deal with it.) and I consider myself male. What every one else thinks is irrelevant and though I would obviously rather I had been born male, I like the person I am now and I consider myself a stronger person after what I've been through.
So no, I dont like being Trans, but I do like being a guy.

I never called myself trans ... it's so clinical ... and when the first psychologist slapped that on me it actually made me feel like sh*t ... like I was mentally deranged or something. I guess technically I fall under the umbrellas of transsexual and intersex but I tend to reject conformity and I certainly don't buy that some psychologists know all when it comes to other humans brains and bodies. I get that most people are all about the label because it's the diagnosis of it that gets them medical assistance to transition. But I decided I don't want to transition or change who I am, so the label has even less meaning to me on a personal level.

That said, do I wish I would have just had a "normal" body - hell yeah. This is one thing I really would rather have not ever had to deal with. But, if I wasn't born this way, then I wouldn't be the me that I am today. Who knows who I would be, so I guess it's better off this way in the end.

Quote from: insideontheoutside on November 23, 2011, 11:27:01 PM
[clip]
...if I wasn't born this way, then I wouldn't be the me that I am today. Who knows who I would be, so I guess it's better off this way in the end.

Same here - and who in his right mind wants to be someone else, I ask?
Enough work just to be myself, never mind someone other... grrrrr

Axélle