Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Kia Ora,
::) Annah's thread got me thinking  ::) ::)

::) Is it important to dress right in order to blend in[pass] ?

::) Or is ones physical appearance and and behaviour more important ?

Metta Zenda :)

In my opinion these are correlated.
You can't just dress appropriately and walk like a guy and still pass.
If you are let's say 6'5" tall, pass physically very well but dress badly (age wise inappropriate and such) you aren't gonna pass.
If you don't pass physically very well but dress appropriate and behave well you will not draw attention to you so much and therefor will likely pass.
It's the right balance for each individual in my opinion that makes for right recipe. Not one size fits all.
I have to accentuate certain feminine traits on myself to compensate for the lack of female puberty when I was 12.
A GG would not have to do these things since she has got it right from the get go. On the other hand I have to make sure certain physical traits are diminished in order to not to draw attention which is what a GG doesn't have to worry about having too much as she has good counterbalance in other areas.
That is where dressing right comes to be so important. Behavior and mannerism is always a must in order to pass but then again you have to fine tune that too. You can't act like a teenager or small built woman if you are tall and middle aged. I am a parent so I dress like any other relatively young mom would. Nothing screams on me when I am with my daughter going out, I am just going for function and comfort  but with distinct feminine undertones. I engage with other moms at the play ground so this is very important to fit in socially.

With no dress sense one will attract more attention then one needs to.

Yet even with good dress sense looking to "sexy" the same will happen also.

Best to try and keep it in the 'middle of the road' , not too flashy and not too trashy.

Axelle

Kia Ora,

::) Thanks for your responses...

::) So Axelle, "Not to flashy and not to trashy !" middle of the road="Mashy" ? ;) ;D

::) Envie what you've mention make sense but is only applicable for some...

::) Prior to my transition[before I started to live 24/7/365] I use to have to wear a uniform for work, and because of my size and built the only pants that would fit me were female [the tops were unisex collared T shirts ]... For the most part I was referred to as female and even when in 'male' civvies, the female pronoun was used more often than not ...[However I should point out I had been on HRT for a while before going twenty four seven]...I think it's swings and roundabout  for some cloths maketh the women for others physical appearance and to a certain extent behaviour is all that's needed...

Metta Zenda :)

Zenda,

sound like a fine sum up to me dear :-)

Axelle

All of life is a costume party, you just have to know who is writing the invitation.  Fewer things are more obvious than the person who is dressed wrong, or 'out of place'.  Sometimes you just can't help it, you're on the way to the big to-do when the limo runs out of good champagne and so you have to dash into Safeway by the Bay in your tux and little black dress for some more.  But people are going to notice you.  Same if I strolled through that same to-do in my work clothes (they would be rejected by every single goodwill/SalArmy/thrift store on the planet - put it this way, when I go out to the park between shifts the Xians come up and try to give me food because they think I'm homeless.).  So you do have to get your swerve on and the proper wardrobe is part of it.  So you blend in by wearing exactly what everyone else is wearing.  If it's work, please show up looking like you're going to do some.  If it's a fetish party, get kinky.  If it's a Giant's home game wear orange and black.

Clothes also really force certain behaviors and mannerisms - so its' a lot easier to get the 'girl stroll' when you're in a skit (and an entire outfit that moves with you) as opposed to overalls. 

It's really the first clue as to how clued in you are.

Quote from: tekla on November 12, 2011, 12:13:33 AM
put it this way, when I go out to the park between shifts the Xians come up and try to give me food because they think I'm homeless.). 
It's really the first clue as to how clued in you are.

Kia Ora Tekla,

::) Well did you take their food or ask for money instead? ;)

Metta Zenda :)

No, I ask them if they want a hit of the green bud while they sit there and listen to me tell them the story of how Robert Plant wrote Misty Mountain Hop right there on the side of the hill where we're sitting.  They always turn me down.  But really, if they looked a bit harder they would see that despite it being a bit dirty and perhaps stinky, it is a Columbia parka, not exactly homeless clothing, nor is the bike.  But people see what they want to see and disregard the rest.

Walkin' in the park just the other day, baby,
What do you, what do you think I saw?
Crowds of people sittin' on the grass with flowers in their hair said,
"Hey, Boy, do you wanna score?"
And you know how it is.
I really don't know what time it was,

Totally what Tekla said,

You dress for the part in life. But just think of a few scenario's; You want a bank loan, do you see the manger wearing a bikini, or cut offs, or every day business dress? You may get the loan but the interest payments may be different >:-). You are seeing a specialist Doctor and you are dressed in dirty work clothes or a business suit. Which attire gets the respect and the information that is needed?

Years ago I was walking past a car yard, I was in trackies, unshaven and looking a bit yobbish (way before I started living FT). I saw a sports car I liked and went in to have a look, the poor unfortunate idiot of a salesman said, Sonny look but don't touch, I don't want to wash it again. I went back the next day in my business suit (male at the time). The poor fool recognised me as I asked for the manger, who I told how I was treated, that I was thinking of buying the car for cash, and that I would never do business with his company again. He called the salesman in fired him in front of me and asked me to reconsider my dealings. I felt like s*** for the guy losing his job, and I refused to purchase the car. The moral of the story is; I don't know; I  feel bad for how I was treated but I felt worse for the guy losing his job. All because how we dress.

Dress to fit the part in the play of life. But be able to back it up with the goods.

Cindy

Kia Ora,

::) What's this...No member living in a nudest colony ?  ;)

::) Thanks for your responses, even though the polls quite young, the trend seems to be "Dress sense is important but not the be all and end all of transitioning"...

::) Prior to transitioning I wore tops and pants...During transition I wore more colourful tops and pants...After transition I mostly still wear colourful tops and pants, occasionally a dress or skirt and during the summer months at the nude beach my birthday suit [with a few alterations]... ;)

Metta Zenda :)   

Important enough. People read you based on your clothing, especially in cities. For me I have to avoid looking like a lesbian and avoid looking like a senseless guy.....it can be a strange balance act.

Quote from: WorkerBeast on June 06, 2013, 02:22:29 AM
Important enough. People read you based on your clothing, especially in cities. For me I have to avoid looking like a lesbian and avoid looking like a senseless guy.....it can be a strange balance act.

Kia Ora WorkerBeast,

That's interesting...I never really thought about how some trans-guys might feel regarding the "strange balancing act" I guess it can be just as difficult for you guys when you first start out...

Thanks for reviving this old thread BTW...I've lost track of some of my old threads...

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Kuan Yin on November 11, 2011, 10:44:17 PM
Kia Ora,
::) Annah's thread got me thinking  ::) ::)

::) Is it important to dress right in order to blend in[pass] ?

::) Or is ones physical appearance and and behaviour more important ?

Metta Zenda :)

Finally a topic I'm an expert on. Yes! How you dress is so important. Let me know the job , state, work colors and we could Skype or FaceTime some options for dress attire. Omg this will be so fun! :)

No problem :angel:

Quote from: Kuan Yin on November 12, 2011, 03:50:19 PM
Kia Ora,

::) What's this...No member living in a nudest colony ?  ;)

::) Thanks for your responses, even though the polls quite young, the trend seems to be "Dress sense is important but not the be all and end all of transitioning"...

::) Prior to transitioning I wore tops and pants...During transition I wore more colourful tops and pants...After transition I mostly still wear colourful tops and pants, occasionally a dress or skirt and during the summer months at the nude beach my birthday suit [with a few alterations]... ;)

Metta Zenda :)

once I have SRS I will join!  ;D seriously, I despise clothing! In fact I never wear anything but my panties in my apartment.

as far as the poll, my clothes don't make me. I pretty much blend in , in a very casual style, make my purchases in the local Goodwill and rarely even wear makeup, however I have the fortune to pass very well. in all appearance , voice and presentation