Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Ughh.... most of the men I have met online invariably ask me if I am a top or would consider topping them as it has been their "curiosity" to be penetrated anally or "fantasy" that they have always wanted to try...

I retort tartly that I am a lady and would do no such thing, and furthermore that I am a woman in all ways including in the sack - I have always preferred the bottom role even in my gay relationships previously.

They slyly suggest that even some women wear strap-on dildos and top - but they want the sensation of a "real cock" in their asses.

Hmph!  :eusa_hand:

its because they love the penis and they try to justify their gayness by looking for a ts rather than a guy... lol i think.

It's something like what Trista said... either way I'd just avoid those kinds of people altogether (->-bleeped-<-s). They seem to bring nothing but trouble.

Ehh I get it 50/50 of guys wanting a top trans.

I'm not sure avoiding "->-bleeped-<-s" is the best idea though... i love that they love that I'm trans?

It's like trying to avoid guys who like black girls ...if you were a black girl... o.O

I see what you're saying. I mean, it seems nice finding guys that would want to date us, but I really prefer not to be the object of some kind of fetish.

Mmm, Idk, I'm just worried they'd leave me after surgery.

And I don't think they're mostly gay because I used to fetishize ftm's.

I actually found that "->-bleeped-<-s" have a lot better understanding of trans things.

I was talking to one guy who has dated a few trans girls (in different stages) and he really really understood me and what I was going through. He didn't mind seeing where I had come from... and loved where I was going.

It seemed like because he actually knew about everything that he had come to accept it more than other people would. I felt pretty ok sharing both the male and female aspects of myself.... instead of if I were with a "straight guy", I would be afraid to show any male aspects.

I don't want to feel like I need to hide the last 28 years of my life from my partner. I don't want my history to be a negative for my partner... I want him to appreciate and love what I am (all of what I am, history and all, not just what I will become).

Basically, for me, I need someone that loves me AND my body as it is (male and female aspects)...not someone who makes me self concious about parts of myself I can't (or don't want) to change.

Quote from: Rabbit on November 19, 2011, 10:35:01 PM
I actually found that "->-bleeped-<-s" have a lot better understanding of trans things.

I was talking to one guy who has dated a few trans girls (in different stages) and he really really understood me and what I was going through. He didn't mind seeing where I had come from... and loved where I was going.

It seemed like because he actually knew about everything that he had come to accept it more than other people would. I felt pretty ok sharing both the male and female aspects of myself.... instead of if I were with a "straight guy", I would be afraid to show any male aspects.

I don't want to feel like I need to hide the last 28 years of my life from my partner. I don't want my history to be a negative for my partner... I want him to appreciate and love what I am (all of what I am, history and all, not just what I will become).

Basically, for me, I need someone that loves me AND my body as it is (male and female aspects)...not someone who makes me self concious about parts of myself I can't (or don't want) to change.

Thanks for the different perspective, I never really thought of it that way.

You might want to find a guy who is bisexual. They tend to be more open to the idea of trans girls. As in a relationship. Also they often have less problems with the pre op genital arrangement.

I couldn't handle a guy wanting me to top him.

"heteroflexable" comes to mind with a lot of ->-bleeped-<-s in the sense of they justify it by thinking as long as they on the receiving end of the sexual activity it's somehow not the same as a same (biological) sex act :P

Hehe I think it depends on what type of ->-bleeped-<- it is :) It seems like there are different "levels".

Newbie ->-bleeped-<- - Saw a "->-bleeped-<-" in porn and he (or she) really got turned on and wants to try it for real.

Experienced ->-bleeped-<- - Knows a lot about trans girls and what they do / go through. Has a deeper appreciation and understanding for things. Wants a steady relationship with a trans girl (for variety of reasons, sometimes they even have subtle trans feelings themselves or try to experience it vicariously).

Humm, what are some others? P: I bet there are a bunch of different types :D

Quote from: Michelle. on November 20, 2011, 12:26:04 AM
You might want to find a guy who is bisexual. They tend to be more open to the idea of trans girls. As in a relationship. Also they often have less problems with the pre op genital arrangement.

I couldn't handle a guy wanting me to top him.

In an act of irony, my hormones killed my topping abilities. I think it's Jesus's way of saying, "You're a girl now hun"

There's an unmentionable word on this board She-male those women are often off HRT and thus able to top. Which has to be quite dangerous, having no hormones in ones body.

Quote from: Michelle. on November 20, 2011, 01:08:31 AM
There's an unmentionable word on this board She-male those women are often off HRT and thus able to top. Which has to be quite dangerous, having no hormones in ones body.

I miss being a top. :(

Memories...I often have them. Of playing with his gun...memories... I used to imagine them...relivin the fun...Oh memories! Oh memories! OOOOOHHHHH MEMMORIES!

Quote from: Rabbit on November 20, 2011, 01:02:02 AM
Hehe I think it depends on what type of ->-bleeped-<- it is :) It seems like there are different "levels".

Newbie ->-bleeped-<- - Saw a "->-bleeped-<-" in porn and he (or she) really got turned on and wants to try it for real.

Experienced ->-bleeped-<- - Knows a lot about trans girls and what they do / go through. Has a deeper appreciation and understanding for things. Wants a steady relationship with a trans girl (for variety of reasons, sometimes they even have subtle trans feelings themselves or try to experience it vicariously).

Humm, what are some others? P: I bet there are a bunch of different types :D

Trans chasing trans? It happens all the time here on Susans

Quote from: Rabbit on November 19, 2011, 10:35:01 PM
I actually found that "->-bleeped-<-s" have a lot better understanding of trans things.

I was talking to one guy who has dated a few trans girls (in different stages) and he really really understood me and what I was going through. He didn't mind seeing where I had come from... and loved where I was going.

It seemed like because he actually knew about everything that he had come to accept it more than other people would. I felt pretty ok sharing both the male and female aspects of myself.... instead of if I were with a "straight guy", I would be afraid to show any male aspects.

I don't want to feel like I need to hide the last 28 years of my life from my partner. I don't want my history to be a negative for my partner... I want him to appreciate and love what I am (all of what I am, history and all, not just what I will become).

Basically, for me, I need someone that loves me AND my body as it is (male and female aspects)...not someone who makes me self concious about parts of myself I can't (or don't want) to change.

Hi Rabbit... very recognisable!!!
There is a lot of bad talk about ->-bleeped-<-s but there are wonderfull guys out there too.
I of course too know the sad misfortune of them being bttms of ->-bleeped-<-s even.
But not all of them are that way.

I think your attitude is a very healthy one!!!
Perhaps a bisexual top would make me feel most relaxed. Someone who does not mind that I am physically two, but understands that I am mentally just one.

A lot of ->-bleeped-<-s do not understand this.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 20, 2011, 01:02:35 AM
In an act of irony, my hormones killed my topping abilities. I think it's Jesus's way of saying, "You're a girl now hun"

I was never able to top. Or even let anyone close near me genitals.
Now I feel OK about a lover touching them. Depends on the lover though. If he makes me feel like a woman, then its ok.
I am more comfortable with my male parts then I ever was luckely.

Still I would want a normal female body. Not sure about SRS though.

I'm ususally really put off by people asking me about anything sexual, much less if I top.  I'm too innocent and shy for anything like that . . .

Quote from: Trista T on November 19, 2011, 04:27:54 PM
its because they love the penis and they try to justify their gayness by looking for a ts rather than a guy... lol i think.

This X 100000000000

It's their way of justification in their minds. It's also one of those things that sets-off a huge red flag for me if a guy ever asks me that. It's usually followed by me saying: Good Bye... have a nice life.

:icon_no:

Quote from: JennX on November 20, 2011, 11:49:24 AM
This X 100000000000

It's their way of justification in their minds. It's also one of those things that sets-off a huge red flag for me if a guy ever asks me that. It's usually followed by me saying: Good Bye... have a nice life.

:icon_no:

The kinds of guys who are after me are basically guys who should know. But apparently not... Kinda weird not being chased by ->-bleeped-<-s, but by clueless straights. LOL

But I suppose thats better

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 20, 2011, 01:37:23 PM
The kinds of guys who are after me are basically guys who should know. But apparently not... Kinda weird not being chased by ->-bleeped-<-s, but by clueless straights. LOL

But I suppose thats better

... and let's not forget my favorite group... "bi-curious guys".  ;)

Quote from: JennX on November 20, 2011, 01:59:40 PM
... and let's not forget my favorite group... "bi-curious guys".  ;)

What are those?

Quote from: MsDazzler on November 19, 2011, 04:16:31 PM
Ughh.... most of the men I have met online invariably ask me if I am a top or would consider topping them as it has been their "curiosity" to be penetrated anally or "fantasy" that they have always wanted to try...

I retort tartly that I am a lady and would do no such thing, and furthermore that I am a woman in all ways including in the sack - I have always preferred the bottom role even in my gay relationships previously.

They slyly suggest that even some women wear strap-on dildos and top - but they want the sensation of a "real cock" in their asses.

Hmph!  :eusa_hand:

Well it appears someone enjoys their gender roles. To be a women in all ways you need to be penetrated by the cock! That's so wrong on so many levels but i'll keep it at that.
(As a feminist i can't bloody help myself.)
Anyway, there are definitely clusters of self identified straight men who fetishize pre-op trans women, but then again isn't every one in some way fetishized during sex? I honestly am quite glad to hear their are men that don't identify as gay or bi and are open to being penetrated. Well, cheers to You finding a man that suits your needs : ) I wish the best for you in that.
As for me, i love my gender queer boyfriend. So many possibilities! Even though i generally take a sub role as well, having the option to dominate in some form is still there. And i'm pro-choice. (shlawl.)
also, i worked at a sex shop. I sat for an hr listening to some old man describe his lust for pre op trans women. It was bitter sweet: kind of torturous but still wonderful to be in front of.

Okay.... this behooves another question - if a transwoman enjoy topping, is she any less woman for being like that since she is taking the "traditional male" role? I know anal sex has nothing to do with sexual orientation; so I wonder if it has any relation to gender.

Quote from: MsDazzler on November 20, 2011, 10:39:03 PM
Okay.... this behooves another question - if a transwoman enjoy topping, is she any less woman for being like that since she is taking the "traditional male" role? I know anal sex has nothing to do with sexual orientation; so I wonder if it has any relation to gender.

Not this again.

Her transition is as valid as one who bottoms.

Quote from: MsDazzler on November 20, 2011, 10:39:03 PM
Okay.... this behooves another question - if a transwoman enjoy topping, is she any less woman for being like that since she is taking the "traditional male" role? I know anal sex has nothing to do with sexual orientation; so I wonder if it has any relation to gender.

Seriously? You HAVE heard of lesbians before right? How exactly do you think we ->-bleeped-<- if nobody tops?

And for the record "topping" does not necessarily mean penetrating the other person with a cock, whether homegrown or store-bought.


Sorry if that was rude, but the obsessive gender-role conformity on these forums is getting to me again. That's totally awesome if that's what you want. But it has nothing to do with me.

Quote from: Sarah7 on November 21, 2011, 12:48:48 AM


And for the record "topping" does not necessarily mean penetrating the other person with a cock, whether homegrown or store-bought.

Topping makes me think of my past...so many barebacks I saw. :(

Topping makes me think of cupcakes.

And now I'm hungry.

Quote from: Michelle. on November 20, 2011, 01:08:31 AM
There's an unmentionable word on this board She-male those women are often off HRT and thus able to top. Which has to be quite dangerous, having no hormones in ones body.

->-bleeped-<-s are not automatically able to top only because they are ->-bleeped-<-s. Many are total limps aswell, something which can be repeatedly seen in classic ->-bleeped-<--porn.
However, perhaps you refer to ->-bleeped-<--tops. If so, then it is my understanding that they are generally not off hormones. Some probably do it that way, yes, but otherwise the actors either takes Viagra, or, are hired because of their already "functional" abilities.

I remember when I for fun scanned through sex-adds in a Hollywood newspaper once and all these adds with Pre-ops having the added info of "Functional TS", meaning that they had the ability to get a hardon and top someone.

However, in the eighties this was much more rare in porn, and not seldomly you could see how the chich struggled with trying to top the guy with a total limpy. :laugh:

This doesnt go with your topic but then again it does. I'm tired of guys just wanting to experiment or have an occasional hook up! Don't get me wrong i love to have sex too but I also would like something more than just sex, you know?

Quote from: Sarah7 on November 21, 2011, 12:48:48 AM
Seriously? You HAVE heard of lesbians before right? How exactly do you think we <not allowed> if nobody tops?

And for the record "topping" does not necessarily mean penetrating the other person with a cock, whether homegrown or store-bought.


Sorry if that was rude, but the obsessive gender-role conformity on these forums is getting to me again. That's totally awesome if that's what you want. But it has nothing to do with me.

Well, you have two camps of people, I guess - one is all about defying gender role conformity, and the other one is all about adhering to gender role conformity in all possible ways.

Guess which camp I fall in -  ;) I am totally, totally,, hopelessly a romantic who wants to be swept away in a Cinderella dress by her tall, dark, and handsome Prince Charming, be sheltered & protected by him, and make him great meals! Drawing bubble baths with petals, us kissing by candelight and steam all over us... I better stop now!!!  >:-)

Quote from: Bishounen on November 21, 2011, 09:00:59 AM
->-bleeped-<-s are not automatically able to top only because they are ->-bleeped-<-s. Many are total limps aswell, something which can be repeatedly seen in classic ->-bleeped-<--porn.
However, perhaps you refer to ->-bleeped-<--tops. If so, then it is my understanding that they are generally not off hormones. Some probably do it that way, yes, but otherwise the actors either takes Viagra, or, are hired because of their already "functional" abilities.

I remember when I for fun scanned through sex-adds in a Hollywood newspaper once and all these adds with Pre-ops having the added info of "Functional TS", meaning that they had the ability to get a hardon and top someone.

However, in the eighties this was much more rare in porn, and not seldomly you could see how the chich struggled with trying to top the guy with a total limpy. :laugh:

I know this is a controversial topic - my two cents on this is that most of them are broke and desperate, and after being on hormones for years and they need jobs, so they go into porn, and when the director calls for them to top, they go off hormones for a while so they can get erections. When I watch "->-bleeped-<-" porn, I can tell who are "reluctant tops" by the way they listlessly penetrate or are not even looking at the male bottom at all.

And of course, there are some who just turned into "->-bleeped-<-s" for porn as a fetish and sexual thrill - you can tell by the way they vicariously go at it during the scenes.

Quote from: MsDazzler on November 21, 2011, 12:33:01 PM
And of course, there are some who just turned into "->-bleeped-<-s" for porn as a fetish and sexual thrill - you can tell by the way they vicariously go at it during the scenes.

Hehe who can tell who is a "->-bleeped-<- for thrills" by how much they like sex?

I guess a "real girl" just lays there and cries till it is over :P

I don't like being asked if I'm a top NOR if I'm a bottom. Top and bottom are words used by gay men.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 21, 2011, 02:53:38 AM
Topping makes me think of my past...so many barebacks I saw. :(

Topping makes me think of... hot fudge and whipped cream on an ice cream sundae.  ;D

Quote from: JenJen2011 on November 21, 2011, 09:07:22 PM
I don't like being asked if I'm a top NOR if I'm a bottom. Top and bottom are words used by gay men.

And this is why any guy using this sort of verbiage, sets off big red-flag to me. If a guy starts with this sort of request, especially after I've really made it abundantly clear, that it isn't something I'm into, I move on.

I'm with you Jenn! XD

Quote from: JenJen2011 on November 21, 2011, 09:07:22 PM
Top and bottom are words used by gay men.

Yep. I learned many of my gay friends are tops...Kinda weird.

But a straight guy using that term? HELL NAW!!!

Quote from: JenJen2011 on November 21, 2011, 09:07:22 PM
I don't like being asked if I'm a top NOR if I'm a bottom. Top and bottom are words used by gay men.

Would you prefer the terms "penetrator" and "penetatree"?  :laugh:

Quote from: MsDazzler on November 23, 2011, 12:00:03 AM
Would you prefer the terms "penetrator" and "penetatree"?  :laugh:

None of the above. As far as I know, women are not asked these types of questions.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on November 23, 2011, 07:28:04 AM
None of the above. As far as I know, women are not asked these types of questions.

Because it is assumed they are the "bottom"...

And girls who are into more kinky stuff? Who like to top their partners? They at least hint to what they are after.

I don't mind being asked, I don't expect people to be able to read my mind :P

Quote from: JenJen2011 on November 21, 2011, 09:07:22 PM
I don't like being asked if I'm a top NOR if I'm a bottom. Top and bottom are words used by gay men.

^^ Straight thing.

Gay girls use top/bottom as well.

I was asked that question often in the beginning and have topped a few, still feeling like I was male, haha ;) and it still worked, but it hasn't worked in several years so I would have to top a guy the same way any other woman would have to, a strap-on.

Something I have noticed over the years is my desire to just be treated like a normal woman, would a guy ask a women he's dating to top him?? OH and I really, REALLY prefer giving and getting oral more so now then ever :)

As someone else had mentioned, ->-bleeped-<- porn has really made inroads and fostered some misconceptions in avid porn viewers. They do not realize that hormones are a contradinction to being a top, since it practically kills your erections, heh.

A guy who I knew for a long while ... we ve been chatting online, and he knew I was trans. Once I mentioned I was going to go on hormones soon, he said, "No, no, please don't."

I asked, "Why not?"

Under a veneer of concerned guise, he said that hormones play havoc with my body. But I smelled bull->-bleeped-<- - once I dug further, he admitted that he was worried that I wouldn't be sufficiently hard enough after a while since he liked to play with "cocks".

After that, we spoke one or two more times - each time I expressed my wish to go on hormones. He seemed to slowly lose his enthustatism and we fell out of touch.

:icon_blahblah: