Susan's Place Transgender Resources

My sister said that it must be really weird to have a body that doesn't match my mind...AND IT IS!!!

Oh yes. I wondered that all the time before I knew about hormones and changing of the voice. Now I'm just focused on transition.

Mostly what toxicblue said, but of course I wonder all the time! I know it would make my life a tad bit easier than what it is!

   Probably not much different then it is to be a trans woman just add monthly bleeding to your schedule.  :D

Quote from: Rukia87xo on November 20, 2011, 12:50:01 AM

   Probably not much different then it is to be a trans woman just add monthly bleeding to your schedule.  :D

If I was cis...
I could be a pregnant bitch 24/7 and CJ would be the father of my babies instead of Pezzies. But why would I be mating with an openly gay male?

Yes, I've often wondered what it would be like to have had my body to begin with. The fact is that I think it's a better life to be a cis-genered woman than a transwoman. Here in Denmark we have no rites of passage for transwomen, and participation in established female rites of passage is abnormal to say the least. There's no sense of community and belonging as a transwoman, you're always "the other". People can be sympathetic, they can be kind, they can be cooperative, but they'll never completely see me as a woman in the same way they do a cis-gendered woman. And there is no third gender rooted into Danish culture which is equivalent to those found in North American tribes. You're a guy or a girl, game over, cash in your chips.

I hear so many women say "I'd give anything to be a normal, heterosexual man. But I'm not, I'm a transwoman."

This is essentially an acknowledgement that cis-gendered people have better lives and are more accepted. It's an expression of a desire to belong. I have the same desire, only I say things a little differently:

"I'd give anything to be a normal woman. But I'm not, I'm a transwoman."

I don't want to surrender my identity as a female. That's me, it's the core of my existence. Why should I even want to change that? I want to change the frame, not the engine.

Quote from: Jen-Jen on November 20, 2011, 12:38:17 AM
Mostly what toxicblue said, but of course I wonder all the time! I know it would make my life a tad bit easier than what it is!

I pretty much agree with this. I have thought about it a lot, and still do ... but right now it doesn't really help to think about it anyway, it's better to focus on what I -can- change.

I have wondered, but even without knowing in full it's still what I wish I could be (have been). Even if I could afford hormones and surgery, I suspect I'd feel like I've still come up short. I know that life wouldn't be perfect and I'd still have problems in life. I want it even more than being an ordinary straight guy. Though I know it's forever beyond my reach, I couldn't decrease the desire either.
  >:(

I wondered all my life and now I know.  After a few years of hormones, a few years of living full time and now, finally, GCS and I officially arrived there.

     I'm here to tell you that surgery not only fixes what's between your legs, it can fix your brain.  When I came out of the anesthetic post-op, I felt an inner peace in my head that I never felt before.  All the "static" and noise in my head was gone.  I had no idea how bad it was.  Nearly all of you do.  It never stops and never goes away (for long).

      Now, I no longer think of gender issues.  I am female first and always.  Those awful memories are fading fast and my brain is clear.

      I've been accepted by many females in my life.  A group of girls I went to high school with get together regularly and they've accepted me and I'm now included in their activities.

      I've been asked to join an important women's group in my Industry.

      The final "you know you're accepted as a woman when...." story is one of the women I work with came into work with her hands and arms folded in front of her and asked me to come into another room with her.  She'd broken a finger nail and it was too painful to work the buttons on her blouse.  She asked me politely if I'd button up the front of her blouse for her.  There was no arousal intended here, it was one female asking help from another.

      Don't give up.  There is hope and there is a cure for these feelings.  I *am* female.  I can go swimming (just did recently) and I can pass in the shower.  I am accepted as such by others.  There IS hope.  I lived in despair far too long, believing that I could never be accepted and I'd only be an ugly man in a dress.  It's turned out that I'm a pretty woman in a dress. 

       I've had many women express envy at how good I look.  They mean it....   You don't have to live a lie, you CAN live a life.

Yes, because a lot of the cisgender females I come across are just plain weird! I wanna know why and how they function this way.

Weird in what way, 8888?

I don't wonder what it's like as much as I loth the fact that I couldn't be a cisgender female all my life.

Oh, always, definitely! Everyday I look at the natal females and wonder.  :-\

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on November 19, 2011, 09:18:50 PM
Do you ever wonder what its like to be  acisgender woman?

Constantly.  To the point where, before I accepted myself as trans, I would have...."bad" thoughts triggered by envy towards ciswomen around me.  :\

Still happens sometimes, but I just think "that will be me one day."

I actually like being both. I have my gay past which strengthened me now, I get to hob knob with straight guys, drag queens, and everyone.

Something I would have missed if I was cis.

If I were cis I wouldn't have realized how much of a douche bag everyone is.

I often wonder what it would have been like to be a cisgendered woman.  There is so much I missed having to go through puberty as a male - things that girls learn that I now have to relearn - having girlfriends over for sumber parties, doing each other's hair, sharing clothes and makeup, learning how to really interact with other women.  As a woman, I'm very inexperienced.

Julie

Oh yes, I wonder what it must be like to be born with a proper brain-body match, to go through adolescence without changes that are disgusting, to have a small passable frame and hourglass shape. To be able to relax and be perceived as a woman no matter what, without having to strain one's voice or wear falsies. To have a vj that doesn't hurt and stays open without dilation. Even after SRS I wonder about and envy ciswomen all the time.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 21, 2011, 02:55:38 AM
I actually like being both. I have my gay past which strengthened me now, I get to hob knob with straight guys, drag queens, and everyone.

Something I would have missed if I was cis.

So...you're bigendered

I've wondered.  I've wished it had been.

And I would be totally willing to have lost the experiences I had as the wrong gender, the friends, the life.

I also have absolutely no idea how it would have changed my life, there is no way to know, but I wish it had been.

the idea of being cisgendered female vs transgendered female doesn't strike me with many differences besides having periods, cis privilige, ability by default to blend most naturally with other females. other than that, it's impossible to determine anything else that comes with it.

I don't think a day has gone by in over 14 years where it doesn't cross my mind at least once.

I would gladly give up my current life if it meant I could start again as a ciswoman, to be honest.

My mother is somewhat ambivalent about being a natal female. 

   I pray every night to be reincarnated into a cisgender woman when i die.  :eusa_pray:




   Being trans sucks.  >:(
 

Quote from: Rukia87xo on November 21, 2011, 09:00:34 PM

   I pray every night to be reincarnated into a cisgender woman when i die.  :eusa_pray:




   Being trans sucks.  >:(

I pray every night to be reincarnated as a canadian cisgender girl when I die.

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on November 21, 2011, 09:13:13 PM
I pray every night to be reincarnated as a canadian cisgender girl when I die.

   Lol

  Why Canadian?  :eusa_eh:

Yes, of course I've thought about it. I want the last 16 years of my life BACK - I want all those memories erased and replaced by ones that don't entirely suck. If I'd been able to transition pre-puberty, I wouldn't really care. But I wasn't, so I do.

before my transition I often wondered. Since my transition I give it very little thought. To be honest, I very rarely think of myself as trans anymore. The only time I am reminded of it is when I come to Susan's. I've been fulltime for so long, the whole trans issue just isn't on my mind anymore.

Working and going to grad school where everybody knows I am a female also helps me to forget the trans issue.

I am fairly certain I now know what it's like to be cisgender as a woman.

Kia Ora,

::) I'm a neo-cis-women.......

Metta Zenda :)

I often imagine how my life would have gone differently, had I been born female.

The question that bothers me is, had I been born a woman, might I still have been transgender, in a grass is always greener kind of way.

Quote from: Rukia87xo on November 21, 2011, 09:15:07 PM
   Lol

  Why Canadian?  :eusa_eh:

I like snow, northern canada has a lot of it.

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on November 21, 2011, 08:00:28 AM
If I were cis I wouldn't have realized how much of a douche bag everyone is.

Pretty sure your attitude wouldn't change. You'd still be 14 year old with the wisdom of Yoda.

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on November 19, 2011, 09:18:50 PM
Do you ever wonder what its like to be acisgender woman?

Every hour of every day.

Other than that not much.

Quote from: Rukia87xo on November 20, 2011, 12:50:01 AM

   Probably not much different then it is to be a trans woman just add monthly bleeding to your schedule.  :D

I doubt that's true. There's a massive amount of socialization that's different, more so the older you are when you begin transition.

Quote from: Tammy Hope on November 23, 2011, 12:20:51 AM
I doubt that's true. There's a massive amount of socialization that's different, more so the older you are when you begin transition.

Not really. I've yet to meet an older transitioner I could relate to like an older parent or mother. Like they were presenting as males too long and weren't belivable...

Quote from: Annah on November 21, 2011, 10:22:30 PM
before my transition I often wondered. Since my transition I give it very little thought. To be honest, I very rarely think of myself as trans anymore. The only time I am reminded of it is when I come to Susan's. I've been fulltime for so long, the whole trans issue just isn't on my mind anymore.
[snip]

I'm much feeling like Annah put it for herself. I'm past all these GID feeding regrets by now - I decided.
If I'm down it is for other reasons then having a trans-history.
Life moves forward - not back.
I'm a female with a trans-history as someone not long ago had put it.

I am who I am, and so better get on with the job of being who I am.

Do I pine over e.g. not being some delicate blond fluff-heady cis-female or butch lesbian that hates her periods and calls it the curse? Nahh, not really.

Being just me will just have to do for this time around :-)

Axelle

I have no idea what is it like to be a woman.

As I don't technically have GID. But doesn't make me any less valid here.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 23, 2011, 12:23:12 AM
Not really. I've yet to meet an older transitioner I could relate to like an older parent or mother. Like they were presenting as males too long and weren't belivable...

I'm not sure I follow. You disagree with my comment...and then say that older transitioners are hard to relate to ..?

Did you mean to put "couldn't"?


My point was that there are things, as someone said earlier) that cis women get to live through that we don't (good and bad, actually)

going through puberty and high school and all that stuff - and at the proper age, not having your first boyfriend ever when you are 50 - makes a difference i think.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 23, 2011, 12:23:12 AM
Not really. I've yet to meet an older transitioner I could relate to like an older parent or mother. Like they were presenting as males too long and weren't belivable...

Honey, sadly you do have a point. +1 for speaking your truth.
Hey, I'm an exception of course - since I pass with flying colours by all and sundry, excluding myself though, grrr :-)

As always YMMV, hum

Axelle

Quote from: Axélle on November 23, 2011, 12:33:36 AM
Honey, sadly you do have a point. +1 for speaking your truth.
Hey, I'm an exception of course - since I pass with flying colours by all and sundry, excluding myself though, grrr :-)

As always YMMV, hum

Axelle

I mean having a family, having children, living the role of a straight man takes its toll. It's the hardest shell to shed when becoming a woman.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 23, 2011, 12:27:06 AM
I have no idea what is it like to be a woman.

As I don't technically have GID. But doesn't make me any less valid here.

Bingo, we ALL actually ONLY know how it is to be ourselves (cis OR trans) - if we relatively sane, that is.

I have technically no GID, AND only know how it is to be ME.

Easy peacy,
Axelle
PS: actually the biggest bitch is to 'shed' those facial hair and THAT I do share with plenty cis-females too, he he

Quote
Do you ever wonder what its like to be a cisgender woman?

Yes.

Quote from: Axélle on November 23, 2011, 12:38:39 AM
Bingo, we ALL actually ONLY know how it is to be ourselves (cis OR trans) - if we relatively sane, that is.

I have technically no GID, AND only know how it is to be ME.

Easy peacy,
Axelle
PS: actually the biggest bitch is to 'shed' those facial hair and THAT I do share with plenty cis-females too, he he

You shed the facial hair, still gotta get ffs...etc. Being a woman isn't as simple as removing facial hair and tucking it in. It's a million billion little things.

When my breasts itch and my vj burns I do get a pretty good idea at times - I mean how different would be that?

As far as family stuff and sundry male stuff goes --- how much of THAT did we actually do?

Girls do: windsurfing, motorbiking, woodwork, home improvements, are bad a maths, are good kissers (hopefully, some are REALLY bad!), have no babies, never been pregnant, etc.
All my very own experiences.
The only thing I can't claim is having had abortions... now who needs that to feel like a cis-female?!
I had heart-aches and heart-breaks, cried like a baby, did ballet dance, aerobics, looked after my son like mother from age 8, and was a chauvinist just like plenty of cis-females are.

No 'shell' here just some thin polythen wrapper :-)

As always exceptions confirm the rule - most old transitioner are NOT very close to the cis-female 'standard'.
And then with my trans-insight some age 24 tg are neither - or at any rate less then I feel.

Axelle
PS: FFS? look at some older females - a LOT need FFS!
They just have to go with what is - and so do I (for the moment :-)

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 23, 2011, 12:35:44 AM
I mean having a family, having children, living the role of a straight man takes its toll. It's the hardest shell to shed when becoming a woman.

It's nothing to do with age or past life experience: if one is born a woman, they're always a woman, even beneath a shell.  A woman can never fully become man and vice versa, any more than the ocean is comprised of particles of strawberry.  Ever hear the saying, "two can keep a secret if one of them is dead?"  Well, the truth ALWAYS comes out, and the time of life when that truth reveals itself plays no part in how much one "knows" how to be a woman.  They've been a woman all their life.

In my own personal experience, I never played the part of a guy.  I simply lived 25% of my life while stuffing the remaining 75% down so far that I didn't have to attend to it.  When the day came that I could no longer live a partial life, I decided it was time to live the rest of it.  Transition was one of the easiest things I've ever done.  Hell, my thesis consumed more mental energy than I've spent on transition.  And I know people two decades older than me to whom transition felt much the same.

Well put Zoë :-)

I transitions at 64 - it was easy, but for having to proof what you explained to a gatekeeper shrink.
THAT - was very hard at times. The guy was/is bold-straight-male-gay and had no fem empathy at all. A very disturbing experience and best forgotten for me.

So yes, what it is to feel like SOME cis-female, is like I feel, and always did. No mystery there.
Axelle