Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I'm working with a new group at school now, that as far as I know, have no knowledge about my history. It's nice not worrying about what they are thinking about me in one sense (such as, I can use women's bathrooms without feeling like there's a scarlet letter on me), but I find myself pretty concerned about them ever finding out. Does this sort of anxiety fade away?

In some ways I miss being around the students who were there during my initial transition, when everything was out in the open and I was still accepted as a valuable human being. At the same time, I don't want being trans to define me in other's eyes, which I always sort of felt like before.

I think that by the time anyone finds out, Sunnynight, your students will be so fond of you that it won't make a bit of difference.

:) Lallie

Quote from: Lallie on November 30, 2011, 02:36:55 PM
I think that by the time anyone finds out, Sunnynight, your students will be so fond of you that it won't make a bit of difference.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This.

I'm in an interesting situation at the moment also.  At work, everyone knows.  Well, almost everyone.  Everyone who was here in April knows, because they saw "him" go off on vacation, and I came back.  But there are an increasing number of new people (and consultants, co-ops, etc.) who do NOT know (as far as I can tell).  Not to mention, I'm living in a new community, and nobody there knows.  I've joined a church choir as guitarist (the only guitarist), and as far as I can tell, none of them have guessed anything.  They treat me as one of them (they're mostly women).  My neighbors are nice, and also don't know.  So in the town where I live, I'm "stealth" (so far), but at work, I'm half-and-half "stealth" and not.

So for me, the thing is, I don't really pay too much attention to it.  If people find out, they find out.  I have no plans to worry about it.  Capital-S Stealth has never been part of my plan, because it would require me to spend too much time worrying about what I've said that might give me away, whether anyone has "clocked" me, etc.  It's much freer not to worry about it.  I've spent most of my life in the closet (even from myself), I certainly have no wish to spend the rest of my life in a different closet.

Week before last, I was out of town on a training trip with the rest of my team from work.  A secondary goal of the trip was for all members of a newly-formed cross-border team to meet each other face-to-face.  Ahead of the trip, I was told that the manager (who is in the US) was the only one who knows about my transition, and he wanted to know if I had any concerns about coming into a new situation.  So I called him up and talked with him about it.  One thing he said was that in an earlier teleconference, several people asked whether Colleen didn't have a pretty low voice.  Anyway, one night we all went out for dinner, and there were several people sitting near me, some of whom had known "him" years ago, but made no connection to me (as far as I know).  We got to talking about 9/11, and as part of my story, I said "I phoned my wife at home and asked her to put a tape in the VCR and record it."  Oops...

Nobody said a word, and nobody asked me anything subsequently, and everything was normal, no awkwardness.

Anyway, just to illustrate.  Stealth isn't necessarily all it's cracked up to be.  IMHO, it's a heck of a lot of unnecessary work...

My view is that i dont mind people knowing im trans as long as they know im awesome!

Quote from: El on December 08, 2011, 10:41:59 AM
My view is that i dont mind people knowing im trans as long as they know im awesome!

I like that!