Susan's Place Transgender Resources

  So I know this is kind of the stupidest topic ever because it is about facebook but at the same time I feel very strongly about this and it has been giving me alot of anxiety.
I see that alot of people tag me in photos that I look extremely masculine in, and my features are very masculine at certain angles and I get alot of anxiety because of these pictures that people put up of me.
Even my own pictures that i put up I seem to have a love/hate relationship with because they're good memories but they show off  myself when I wasn't in a great place in my transition.
I mean, i'm not so far in my transition now but i still have issues with seeing myself in photos. My boyfriend and I have alot of photos on there that represent our relationship when it comes to memories and stuff, and i hate myself for wanting to take those down. :(
Can anyone else relate with this?
It makes me want to take down all my photos, but i just wish it didn't bother me because i'm a month away from going on hormones.

Don't they have it to where you can set it so that you have to approve any tagging of yourself?   And if it bugs you, ask them to not do it, I would. 


Luckily, I don't have that issue as anyone that knows me knows that they simply don't post pics of me online, only I can and I extend the same courtesy to them.

This is a major reason i havent signed up for facebook. my friends are all very trigger-happy with their cameras. Its not my only concern with facebook though, their track record of protecting information and rights isnt great and the business ethics have come across as a bit suspect at times. im comming round tot he idea now though, it would be a great way to get into contact with peopl ei havent seen in a while.

You can untag yourself from those pictures or remove them from the pictures people see on your profile. If they are removed from your profile, I believe the only way other people would be able to see other people you are tagged in is to be friends with the people who tagged you in them. If you untag yourself, obviously, no one will be able to connect you to that photo unless they recognize you.
I have the same problem you do - but I literally have photos where people would gender me incorrectly if they saw them.
One of the main reasons is because there was a point in my life when I didn't bind, even though I looked androgynous.
I've recently gone on a rampage where I remove a bunch of my older profile pictures, because I can't stand how much more feminine my face looked even a couple of months ago.

The Facebook questions have already been answered, but I just wanted to say I can completely relate with you on this. I went on a mass-deleting binge a few months ago, dug up every account on every site I'd ever had and deleted all of it. I know it can still be recovered if someone was so inclined, but I've always tried to keep a pretty low profile on the internet.

Quote from: N.Chaos on November 30, 2011, 11:53:24 PM
The Facebook questions have already been answered, but I just wanted to say I can completely relate with you on this. I went on a mass-deleting binge a few months ago, dug up every account on every site I'd ever had and deleted all of it. I know it can still be recovered if someone was so inclined, but I've always tried to keep a pretty low profile on the internet.

yeah i think i need to go back to therapy
ive been focussing on my appearance alot lately and my depression feels like its going to come back again.

Again, unfortunately, I can completely relate on that one too. I've been getting incredibly self-conscious, in spite of a pretty big weight loss, and way more down on myself than usual. Do you go to trans-related therapy, or a general therapist? My boyfriend was going to try and get me into therapy, but we've only got just about every kind of therapist other than gender therapists around here, and I didn't want him to blow +100 $ for some jackass to tell me to just deal with it.

Quote from: N.Chaos on December 01, 2011, 02:28:30 AM
Again, unfortunately, I can completely relate on that one too. I've been getting incredibly self-conscious, in spite of a pretty big weight loss, and way more down on myself than usual. Do you go to trans-related therapy, or a general therapist? My boyfriend was going to try and get me into therapy, but we've only got just about every kind of therapist other than gender therapists around here, and I didn't want him to blow +100 $ for some jackass to tell me to just deal with it.

I'm in a similar situation. I just moved to southern illinois from southern california, my boyfriend is getting his phd here so i came along.
I haven't been looking into therapists but i'm aware that gender therapists around here aren't common either like they were
in california and i only have a seasonal job right now and i'm saving my money for hormones, so it's something i am going to look into
but I am going to have to be careful about where I put my money.
I seriously can't sleep thinking about my insecurities, then when i goto sleep waking up is a chore :/
its about  4am here :( i was just laying in bed and i just started crying, ugh..

I'm so sorry, dear. Its awful when sleep, which is supposed to be this wonderful heal-all, does nothing to fix things and half the the time makes it worse. I'm awful with money, I should be saving up towards something but I just spend it the second I get it on ridiculous things.
Are there any support groups or anything like that in your area? We used to have a general LGBT one but I've been trying to contact them for about a year now, phone and email, and never heard anything back.

Quote from: N.Chaos on December 03, 2011, 01:05:35 AM
I'm so sorry, dear. Its awful when sleep, which is supposed to be this wonderful heal-all, does nothing to fix things and half the the time makes it worse. I'm awful with money, I should be saving up towards something but I just spend it the second I get it on ridiculous things.
Are there any support groups or anything like that in your area? We used to have a general LGBT one but I've been trying to contact them for about a year now, phone and email, and never heard anything back.

No, not anywhere near Carbondale.. Everyone in my boyfriend's academic program is supportive of me i just wish i had other transgender people to be around and talk with, ya know?
Sorry you never heard back, that's quite unfortunate.

My friend posted a picture of me earlier in transition... and it really upset me. I asked her to take it down (and she did :).

Generally though, I just watch closely who tags me (and untag myself when it happens).

Facebook and tagging comments about photos can be upsetting. We are already self conscious about our looks and others point out our sometimes glaring deficiencies, what looks masculine unfortunately.  I don't post photos that make me feel depressed with comments. A nice kitty picture is always good :)
A gender therapist can help. There are some that you can work with via Skype but be weary. Only go with someone where they have had a lot of positive reviews from other transgendered individuals. In short make sure it's not a rip off artist. It would be better to find a local gender therapist when you have the money.  For many too female facial surgery will be required sometime to feel more at ease in their own skin.