Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I thought about how some people like going to see gorey horror movies. My friends have put me in plenty of situations where they decided to go and see such a movie. As a guy, I am now worried about people making fun of me for being "scared" or "wimpy". Any advice on this one?

My only advice is just pretend (in your own mind) that you're a cis-guy.  You know if you were a cisguy, would you be worried about this same thing?

Personally, I try to tell myself, I am who I am.  I'm going to be as feminine or as wimpy as I am.  And I should just embrace it. :)

(and believe me, I'm am very wimpy.  I'm scared of animals, and bugs, and germs.  I'm allergic to many things.  And I'm a very picky eater.  I can't stand anything that's even slightly spicy.)

Quote from: JohnAlex on December 02, 2011, 11:29:14 PM
My only advice is just pretend (in your own mind) that you're a cis-guy.  You know if you were a cisguy, would you be worried about this same thing?

Personally, I try to tell myself, I am who I am.  I'm going to be as feminine or as wimpy as I am.  And I should just embrace it. :)

(and believe me, I'm am very wimpy.  I'm scared of animals, and bugs, and germs.  I'm allergic to many things.  And I'm a very picky eater.  I can't stand anything that's even slightly spicy.)

This and I was just thinking there's always the "close your eyes" trick.

Heheh. I'm scared of bugs too. Crap... how am I gonna get over that one?  :P  :-\

Don't worry about it too much. No matter what you or anyone else is like, they'll always be things people could make fun of.

If it makes you feel any better, I know a cisguy who practically faints at the sight of blood, he has such a weak stomach. Doesn't make him any less of a guy. Doesn't make you any less of a guy either, if blood and guts aren't your thing :)

If all else fails, work on your persuasion skills and get them to see a comedy instead, or whatever kind of movie you like.

Just tell them you don't like horror movies because they're boring and have no plot. 

I am actually working on getting over my bug-phobia.  I try to hold or look at bugs when I feel safe.   Like a fly captured in a jar.  Or put a spider on my hand. 

Quote from: Gifted on December 02, 2011, 11:36:17 PM
Just tell them you don't like horror movies because they're boring and have no plot.

That works.

Quote from: JohnAlex on December 02, 2011, 11:37:10 PM
I am actually working on getting over my bug-phobia.  I try to hold or look at bugs when I feel safe.   Like a fly captured in a jar.  Or put a spider on my hand.

Hmm the problem with flies and moths and such is when they start to fly right in my face and I just get freaked out cause it's outta nowhere XD

I will watch scary movies even though I will probably get nightmares. When friends want to watch them and I don't feel like dealing with the consequences I just decline saying I don't want nightmares. No ones ever seriously gave me ->-bleeped-<- for it.

I had to kill a big spider with my hand the other day. I think moths are kinda cute. They are furry and have cool antennas. I didn't know people were afraid of flys too, they don't even bite. I really don't like anything with more than 4 legs. A lot of sea creatures really bother me.

I have a story for you.

My partner and I went to a horror movie with another couple. The movie was just stupid and not scary at all. The guy we went with commented on how scared he was while his girlfriend didn't even care for the movie.  Gender isn't a factor necessarily so don't make it one.

Quote from: Cody Jensen on December 02, 2011, 11:48:49 PMHmm the problem with flies and moths and such is when they start to fly right in my face and I just get freaked out cause it's outta nowhere XD

Well I don't think that's a bug phobia, I think most people are like that.  something flies in their face, and they want to shoo it away.

I know plenty of cis guys who don't like scary movies. I know plenty of girls who love them. I hate them.

I also work in a hospital, I was doing a project that involved taking a small amount of blood from health guys, all volunteers BTW. The guys were all farmers and the project was about allergies that farmers may have. On day I had four of the biggest toughest looking farmers I'd seen. All four fainted giving 10 mls of blood.

Gender is no screen for phobias.

Cindy

Quote from: JohnAlex on December 02, 2011, 11:57:23 PM
Well I don't think that's a bug phobia, I think most people are like that.  something flies in their face, and they want to shoo it away.

Again true. I guess I just associated it with a bug phobia when I was typing this up XD thanks for sharing your experiences guys.

Like everyone else is saying, don't stress yourself over it.

I have two brothers, a sister, and a sister in law who is just like my biological sister.
We always hang out and sometimes pass around a phone or laptop with a nasty, gory, or just plain disturbing image, guess who always freaks out the most?
My two brothers.

I even once had a doctor tell me that when taking blood samples, it seems men handle it way worse than women.
I mean, that's not really factual information but my point is that it's not rare at all for a guy to be squeamish or to seem wimpy in certain situations. Just don't stress yourself over it, it's not a big deal.
People like and dislike things regardless of gender, for example, my brothers are terrified of spiders, but then again, so is my girlfriend.
It's all relative.  :)

A friend once had me sit through one of the saw movies. Dull and uninspired more than anything else, and not very scary. I don't consider it serious cinema. It's good entertainment if you like shock sites, though.

I watched Dogville by Lars von Trier not long ago. It was far more terrifying than any gore they could possibly throw at me.

Cody, have you tried invoking reality? Like maybe point out that real life is gory enough that imaginative movie gore can be redundant and unpleasant.

I once scraped up brains and skull bits of a friend of mine off the stonework in Jackson Square (NOLA). I had a friend who was in the second occupation of Iraq, and he told me stories that still give me nightmares. A girlfriend of mine once had several dogs sicced on her, and she's been haunted by that for years and years. My half-brother was in a car accident that killed somebody, and as a child I saw his mangled body afterward. I could see through the rip in the underside of his chin to the broken teeth embedded in his palate. I watched two dogs get hit by multiple cars once, and they bounced and howled and bled. I got in an accident so bad once they had to cut the car to pieces to get me out. My pet mutt bit a neighbor once, and the county took him and removed his head to check his brain for rabies. Because of some stupid law. My daughter had laser surgery on her sinuses botched once, and her throat got burned so bad she was on a ventilator for a week. I thought I'd die from crying.

Tell your friends that if they need horror movies to be horrified then maybe they're just having fun in a way that isn't relevant to you. I don't see why they would have a problem with that.

I never watch horrow movies,

the reason is I hate being scared,
however I can watch one without getting afraid by keep reminding its all fake and blur my eyes for the worst,
but then I will just be really bored..

Quote from: Felix on December 03, 2011, 05:26:07 AM
Cody, have you tried invoking reality? Like maybe point out that real life is gory enough that imaginative movie gore can be redundant and unpleasant.

I once scraped up brains and skull bits of a friend of mine off the stonework in Jackson Square (NOLA). I had a friend who was in the second occupation of Iraq, and he told me stories that still give me nightmares. A girlfriend of mine once had several dogs sicced on her, and she's been haunted by that for years and years. My half-brother was in a car accident that killed somebody, and as a child I saw his mangled body afterward. I could see through the rip in the underside of his chin to the broken teeth embedded in his palate. I watched two dogs get hit by multiple cars once, and they bounced and howled and bled. I got in an accident so bad once they had to cut the car to pieces to get me out. My pet mutt bit a neighbor once, and the county took him and removed his head to check his brain for rabies. Because of some stupid law. My daughter had laser surgery on her sinuses botched once, and her throat got burned so bad she was on a ventilator for a week. I thought I'd die from crying.

Tell your friends that if they need horror movies to be horrified then maybe they're just having fun in a way that isn't relevant to you. I don't see why they would have a problem with that.

Oh yes, yes I have. I'd rather not bring up memories of my own gorey experiences. Maybe half the things that add to it in movies is music. Heh. You know looking back, The Hills Have Eyes was my very first horror movie. It gave me nightmares for five  months. But I remember all the stuff I've seen now (including in real life) and I laugh at myself for being scared about that movie. There was this anime about cats I saw one time, it was based on World War II. And the cats bodies were being mangled to death. It wasn't even that gorey, more the way it was being done that bothered me. In psych class in high school they read a story from a girl's experience in India about her being tortured. At the end, I couldn't feel my own legs. I felt like throwing up I was so weak. So I suppose you're right. Real life is definitely more gorier than ANY horror movie.

Do you really care if they  mock you for not wanting to go see a horror movie?  It seems like something I'd not give a second thought to.  I don't like them, and I'm not going to waste my time and money watching them.  Particularly if you are going out to the movies.  I don't even usually go to see movies I would enjoy in the theatres because its so damned expensive, and really not all that enjoyable.  You can use not wanting to waste money on a film as an excuse not to go if you're really worried about all it I suppose.  I always openly admit to hating horror movies.  Particularly those of the torture porn variety.  Someone I know says they thinks a piece of your soul dies every time you watch one of those movies, and I completely agree.  Usually even people who are horror lovers can be understanding of my viewpoint when I explain that I can really enjoy suspense/thriller type movies with equally dark plots, but just find the gore and torture cheap and distasteful.  Its really just about shocking audiences not about plot.

Quote from: GnomeKid on December 03, 2011, 03:56:17 PM
Do you really care if they  mock you for not wanting to go see a horror movie?  It seems like something I'd not give a second thought to.  I don't like them, and I'm not going to waste my time and money watching them.  Particularly if you are going out to the movies.  I don't even usually go to see movies I would enjoy in the theatres because its so damned expensive, and really not all that enjoyable.  You can use not wanting to waste money on a film as an excuse not to go if you're really worried about all it I suppose.  I always openly admit to hating horror movies.  Particularly those of the torture porn variety.  Someone I know says they thinks a piece of your soul dies every time you watch one of those movies, and I completely agree.  Usually even people who are horror lovers can be understanding of my viewpoint when I explain that I can really enjoy suspense/thriller type movies with equally dark plots, but just find the gore and torture cheap and distasteful.  Its really just about shocking audiences not about plot.

I agree 100% with this. I don't mind suspense/thriller type, in fact I LOVE those types of movies. They're one of my favourite genres.

I just put a trigger warning in the subject line for this thread because some people might be triggered by the discussion (some of it is graphic). Just wanted to let you guys know.

Oh. Ok. Thx Arch. I totally didn't think of that  :-\

Cody, I didn't either--it only got graphic later in the thread. Since that is the direction that the thread DID take, I just want to keep people safe.

Good move man  :D thx again

I just reread and I know I said a bunch of icky stuff. Here's two smilies playing with a ball. It makes me pretty happy: :icon_ballbounce: :icon_ballbounce2:

Ignore the little ball and it looks like they're playing a game together.

Quote from: Felix on December 04, 2011, 03:43:51 PM
I just reread and I know I said a bunch of icky stuff.

Something tells me you should never watch horror movies!

I have an ex who liked horror movies but was definitely spooked by them. He would jump at those Jack-in-the-box moments that left me completely unruffled.

Lots of guys are the same as my ex...I don't think it's a gender thing.

Wanna know a secret? I had a subscription to Fangoria when I was younger. I loved horror movies before they started to feel like they were hitting too close to home.

I remember this one really awful one that still makes me smile - about a trained killer who'd had clits implanted around her eyes so she would always be keyed up and intense. It was so stupid. :laugh:

Quote from: Felix on December 04, 2011, 04:14:29 PMI remember this one really awful one that still makes me smile - about a trained killer who'd had clits implanted around her eyes so she would always be keyed up and intense. It was so stupid. :laugh:

Sounds like someone was watching a little too much Deep Throat.

I think this is a problem that will get better for you as you age. I know I saw a lot fewer gory movies as I moved in to my thirty's. Getting razzed is part of being male and if it isn't scarey movies it will be something else. The important thing to remember that no matter how much crap they give you they still love you. Another thing they are treating you as a guy and not a girl and that ought to be a great thing.