Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm 5'11 and I love high heels.  Not only am I comfortable wearing them, I feel more feminine in them.  People tell me that I'm doomed to a life of flats just because I'm tall.  Can I ever wear high heels out in public?  If I do, I'll probably feel like a supermodel.  Can a supermodel really walk the streets of Philadelphia in the middle of the afternoon and really "blend"?  What do you ladies think about standing out?  Not just wearing high heels, but just being so different-looking than most other people that people just can't help but look at you.  I mean, we desperately just want to be able to go anywhere and just be us, without really getting attention, but is this just not possible?  For us taller transgender women, aren't we always going to get stares, no matter what?  Can we just be us and do it with confidence and just not care?

I'll just note that perhaps the best-looking woman I've known was 6'1" and wore heels when she was dressing up.  Her husband was only 5'10".

Better-known is that Michelle Obama is pretty tall even without heels, and in heels she's as tall or taller than her husband.

I fear for the safety and feet of people in high heels.  But that is very different than your question.  How much to care about potential viewers is, I hope, pretty much your call.

If you pass consistently, aren't worried about the attention, and even love it, then sure, why not do it occasionally? 

Some people like to stand out, and some people don't, and being transgendered makes things more difficult, but in the end it's a matter of comfort and preference.  If you fear standing out, then you're fear will project and it will be a bad idea.  But it's also possible you will project confidence and be just another woman who enjoys nice shoes. 

I also wonder if people see a tall woman in heels and think "oh it's the heels making her tall" rather than thinking "oh wow she's tall for a woman"...

i stand out . i have a alternaltive/ gothic appearance where a lot of makeup etc and to a lot of people i dont pass im obviously gender " varient" to a lot of people , people can stare or gossip or point to their friends about me in publiv . i dont care im going to do what i want to do , as long as they are violent and leave me alone beyond those few things that are invitable for someone who looks different/ stands out . i dont care

wear *  if anyone knows nina hagen thats kind of how i do my makeup etc :P

Well, like most things in life.... IT DEPENDS... on your expectations.

If you truly can't give a dang, then go for what ever it is that tickles you fancy - and go with the consequences. They might not always be nice, to be sure.

Just today once again I see this female... seen her before, walking with her man, going for a walk. She is clearly overdressed for going for a walk in 93F / 34 o C and was overdressed 'somehow' the 1 or 2 times I'd seen her before...
Looking at her face as I did last time, gives the next clue ... trans? Pretty much so.

What I'm saying is, we (MtFs) often have this propensity to overdress. I do also! It can give us away more easily... and if we don't care?...
Yet most of us actually do care... else it be all the same really. And it never is. We want to be accepted as female and NOT as some overdressed trans-bird... so most of us do care - after all is said and done. Want to get loads of funny locks, be called shim, Mr, dude, etc?

So, as I said: "It depends..." we can hang a sign around your neck that says "trans-woman"...?!
Over-dressing, but also frumpy under-dressing will be almost like wearing such a sign.

Sometimes I really don't care... - more often I do.
So it also has to do with our mood of the moment.
Now to go for a walk around the block, in 93F, with 4" heels, a maxi dress, no boobs, a frumpy hair do, and a pretty much male looking face... yeah, well – "it depends", now doesn't it?

Axélle

I have the same concerns, I love heels wear them always but I have that "am I to tall" thoughts and I'm 5'9"

Hi Juliana,
Some very interesting points you raised.

Quote from: sysm29 on December 15, 2011, 07:46:01 PM
People tell me that I'm doomed to a life of flats just because I'm tall.

Wrong. Bad advice. Whoever says that to you, clearly doesn't know what they are talking about.

Quote from: sysm29 on December 15, 2011, 07:46:01 PM
Can I ever wear high heels out in public?

Yes

Quote from: sysm29 on December 15, 2011, 07:46:01 PM
  If I do, I'll probably feel like a supermodel.

As you feel ... you are! 
Alternatively , you could FEEL just like a very feminine woman.  Again .... as you feel ... you are !!

Quote from: sysm29 on December 15, 2011, 07:46:01 PM
Can a supermodel really walk the streets of Philadelphia in the middle of the afternoon and really "blend"?

Yes  ....... just as much as a feminine feeling woman can.

Quote from: sysm29 on December 15, 2011, 07:46:01 PM
What do you ladies think about standing out?

I don't .... I just think about being the woman I am.

Quote from: sysm29 on December 15, 2011, 07:46:01 PM
Not just wearing high heels, but just being so different-looking than most other people that people just can't help but look at you.

Juliana, you need to get your head in the right space. Once it's there, I promise you, you won't notice ANY difference at all. You will blend in so much you'll be like a green beetle in a lawn. Stop telling yourself you are so different looking. You are not. You look quite feminine.

Quote from: sysm29 on December 15, 2011, 07:46:01 PM
  I mean, we desperately just want to be able to go anywhere and just be us,

I do go anywhere, and I am, just me ..... without the desperation.  Unless it's 'loo' time. :)

Quote from: sysm29 on December 15, 2011, 07:46:01 PM
without really getting attention, but is this just not possible?

Completely, totally and utterly; very extremely  ..... possible.

Quote from: sysm29 on December 15, 2011, 07:46:01 PM
For us taller transgender women, aren't we always going to get stares, no matter what?

NO !!!  Very emphatically  NO.     Trust me. .... Once .... your head is in the right space, the impossible becomes mundane.

Quote from: sysm29 on December 15, 2011, 07:46:01 PM
Can we just be us and do it with confidence and just not care?

ABSOLUTELY !!!!   You can be you. It's just a decision away. If you do it with confidence, no one will care. There are thousands of us out there every day, just doing it.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

My eye always catches tall women-- but with appreciation. Whether to wear heels depends on you and the occasion. If you happen to want to keep a "low" profile while out, wear flats. If you want to strut your stuff in heels, do it. At 5'11" your the same height as Gisell Bundchen, Kathy Ireland, Nicole Kidman and Claudia Schiffer. I know they all wear heels and look great in them.

Lyric ~

As long as heels are appropriate for the occasion, 3"-4" heels are totally fine, even if you're 5'11" (or 6'1"!).

You'll stand out because you're tall, but not in a bad way. If you look good, it'll be a plus.