Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Now since I considered myself to be a non-op transgender, I was thinking recently about a problem.  When I'm out dressed as a woman, and I have to use the washroom, now in some places it is against the law for a man (even though I'm dressed as a woman) to use the woman's restroom, so I must use the men's room, and what if while I'm in there, another guy were to come in and see me and become preturbed at the sight of seeing me there. Now he could go and report me and have me arrested for being a pedophile. Is this a possibility?

Gina

My mom after discovering me in the men's room once threatened to call the cops on me, but never did. I don't know if it's possible to have any criminal charges filed, if you explain that you're trans to the cops?

Florida is NOT a great area to be trans in.  I'm sorry Gina, I don't have any advice.  You're in a tough situation.  The problem with using the men's restroom is you will get many strange looks and possibly assulted.  With the women's restroom, unless you pass well, you would get many strange looks, some complaints and possibly authorities called on you regularly.  Perhaps you get seek out gender neutral bathrooms.  :-\

Melissa

Thanks Zombi for your reply. I was kind of figuring that if you're honest with a cop and explain intelligently with him the situation that they should be understanding. A few years ago, when I was dressed, I had went to see some friends at a flea market and I had to use the washroom before leaving. Without even thinking, I naturally walked into the women's washroom, looked around and went into a stall and did my business. Then as I was leaving the flea market, some guy came up to me and asked me if I had used the women's washroom. I told him I had and he told me that he could call the police on me, but he fortunately didn't. He turned out to be one of the owners fo the flea market.


You know Melissa, Florida isn't that bad for Trans, it's just certain areas. Like the area that I live in, which is more geared for the elderly / retirement comunity they'd see more eproblems with me using female washrooms, but areas like Key West or Miami, I'd have no problem. But I'm not ready to relocate myself for that yet. I'll overcome these problems and situations if they arise.

Gina

I forget Gina, do you have a therapist?

A therapist will usually provide you with a "ID Letter" or "Carry Letter" which explains the situation to anyone who confronts you.

Kate

if you don't pass as a female, it is best to stay far away from any restrooms labeled [for women only] .

reason:  because women can get hysterical if [men] use [their] space.  furthermore, in some states, it is illegal to use a restroom which doesn't correspond with your birth gender.

I went to a movie tonight.  The guy at the snack bar treated me like some dingy blonde.  (Imagine that.)  "Ma'am don't you know that a large drink is only a quarter more than the medium?"  Fine.  Gimme the large.  But I had to get up twice during the show.  ahem....     Both times I used packed women's rooms.  If anybody noticed they didn't let on.  But if they had I'd have been sunk because I could not hold it any longer, and there were no family rest rooms.

Good luck, Gina!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi

It can be a tough call, as most here say the more you pass the easier it is to use the female restroom. I didn't pass well at first but appeared feminine so I had a look here or there but no one was pushed out of shape.

My rules were if your dressed as a woman then use the womans restroom. For heavens sake you cant use the male restroom. If you have a uni sex available and feel unsure then use that.

One note, if your unsure of yourself always watch a bathroom for a few minutes to make sure there is no Kids in there with there mothers or alone. I think if a womans gonna make a deal of something thats when she is going to do it.

Just getting questioned on that issue sounds so so embarrassing I always avoided that confrontation as much as possible.


Good luck
Kristina

Kate, I have a psychiatrist whom I am seeing, but I don't really think that he can provide me with what I need in the way of a "ID Letter" or "Carry Letter", but since I am seeing him this Friday, I will ask him about it.

Y'know Katia, I feel that I am passable enough that I should have no problem using the women's washroom. That episode with the Flea Market was more caused from most of the vendors knowing me as my male self, so they must have noticed something.  ??? But as long as I go in and use the stall  without making too much of a fuss, I don't see much of a problem.

I'm really glad that you ran into no problems Kristi when you were at the movies, and  had to use the ladies room. Next time you shouldn't be influeneced for a quarter more. I hope that you realize your limit. LOL


Thanks for the good advice Kristina. I agree with you that when dressed I shoudl be abel to use the women's washroom with no problem. Like I said before, all I'm doing is going in there to do my business and nothing else, and I'm not out to be a pedophile either.

Gina  :icon_mrhappy:

Any of the doctors you see for GID should be willing to write a quickie letter.  I never, ever had one until my endoc wrote one up on a prescription note and handed it to me.  I've kept it ever since but thankfully have never had to use it.

Quote from: Kristi on March 13, 2007, 11:55:30 PM
I went to a movie tonight.  The guy at the snack bar treated me like some dingy blonde.  (Imagine that.)  "Ma'am don't you know that a large drink is only a quarter more than the medium?"  Fine.  Gimme the large.  But I had to get up twice during the show.  ahem....     Both times I used packed women's rooms.  If anybody noticed they didn't let on.  But if they had I'd have been sunk because I could not hold it any longer, and there were no family rest rooms.

Good luck, Gina!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi

Why the gloomy mood Kristi? You seam to be having such a great time out and about. Wish I was out like that.

Alice

Quote from: Alice on March 14, 2007, 08:02:57 PM
Why the gloomy mood Kristi? You seam to be having such a great time out and about. Wish I was out like that.
Alice

Alice, you are a real dear for noticing.  I should have changed it.  If you read my Odyssey post it told about my horrendous inner struggle over trying to force myself to attend a support group.  Now that it's over I'm "contemplating" the experience.

OK, now back to the washroom. 

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi

It's nice living in  country where nobody takes those rules seriously..

Was standing in the men's, once. Door opens, woman trots in, looks around, sees me, and blushes. So I ask: "Woman's full?" She nods, then simply uses the lavvy.
The only problem in this situation was that she was hoping the men's was empty. I've used the woman's, too, often enough. Simply say that the other privvy is full up, you really need to go, and will burst if forced to wait in line, and all will be fine, around here.

I just wonder: how can anyone be charged with 'being a pedophile' for using the restroom meant for another gender?

Dryad, unfortunately, they are a lot of uptight prude americans (who probably have issues with their own sexuality) that like to cause trouble for others.  Not everyone is like that, but there seems to be a lot.  Where I live, people seem to not quite be as uptight about which bathroom, especially in gay bars.  I was in the women's restroom with 2 guys once, and that was an odd situation.

Melissa

Everytime I'm in the men's room (although I pass as a man now) I nearly ->-bleeped-<- myself when another guy walks in, wondering if somehow they can tell. I know the sides of the urinals often block the view but it sounds a little odd when I'm using my stp and I wonder if he can tell its not a real dick..agh..probably me being paranoid. Or if he could see its not real..most guys don't pee out of plastic tubes and turkey basters..

Matthew

That would be a tough one, Matthew.  Psychologists used to say that males sneak a peek to check each other out when using urinals.  Maybe that was back when we all believed in the Oedypus complex.  There's still the option of making a custom extension  ;).  Or maybe you could find some paint to make it flesh tone.

Good luck!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi

Quote from: Kristi on March 16, 2007, 03:27:38 PM
Or maybe you could fing some paint to make it flesh tone.

Or do as I suggested and get a bunch of silly putty and place it on the outside.  That will get rid of those ridges. ;)

Melissa

QuoteOr do as I suggested and get a bunch of silly putty and place it on the outside.  That will get rid of those ridges

Wow, I think you could get rich here.  What about hollowing out a lifelike dildo, and sticking "the apparatus" inside of it. Some of the latest toys are so damn lifelike, I can hardly touch them.

You could go into business for all the guys, and all of us packers.

T.

Quote from: Thundra on March 16, 2007, 05:07:32 PM

Quote

Wow, I think you could get rich here.  What about hollowing out a lifelike dildo, and sticking "the apparatus" inside of it.


T.

Sorry they have em some people have them they look real and use them to due a fake drug test. I wont go into how I know that....... >:D


Kristina

I was thinking the other day that being a pedophile could only be attributed to children and not really adults when it comes to washroom issues.

Gina

That's one thing I hated about being seen as a guy.  By default, they were always labeled sexual predators until proven otherwise.

Melissa

Quote from: gina_taylor on March 17, 2007, 08:23:26 AM
I was thinking the other day that being a pedophile could only be attributed to children and not really adults when it comes to washroom issues.

Gina

Thats right and your not a  pedophile so I wouldn't worry about that so much as you do. I don't think anyone would call you that for using the womans restroom. They would say other things that would probably hurt but not as bad as being labeled a pedophile.



Kristina

Thanks Krisstina for your kind heart felt words. Right now I don't really fear anything with using the women's restroom, because I know what I'm doing, and sexually attacking children would never be a part of my agenda.

Gina  :)

My T gave me a carry letter after about a month on HRT, she said I might never need this but she gives them to all her GID patients after starting HRT especially the ones going full time. She puts it like this "you have enough on your mind without some uninformed person making a big deal out of a natural function." Isn't she wonderful :) In the past 5 years I have had to show it one time at an airport no less, this was early on no electrolysis or laser we were snowed in Denver about 28 hours slept on a bench with my BF it was horrible end to a ski vacation 12 hours to get off the mountain we were stuck almost 9 of the 12 then 5 to get to the airport then we were snowed in. The last time I had a shave was in the morning before we left to ski about 9 hours so I was at like 54 hours without a shave, shower anything looking pretty ruff, I came outa the ladies room and some cop asked me in a curious voice "Ma'am, I need to see some ID" at the time my DL still had male but my legal name change was on it, he gave me a very inquisitive look, I told him I had been diagnosed with GID and that I had a letter that explained it, I showed him the letter about the time my BF showed up the cop read the letter he smiled and said " a hormone imbalance that explains it" he handed me back my ID and letter "Ma'am, sorry to bother you" he walked over to a bunch of elderly folks told them it was a hormone imbalance I saw those women in the ladies room they looked at me and shook there head smiling sorry dear one waved at me, I smiled and waved back..........

Thanks ssindi for disclosing your letter. I'll be talking with my therapist in two weeks, and I'll be bringing it up to him, and hopefully I should be able to get a letter, even though I am not starting HRT. But even so, I don't want to run into any problems when I have to use the washrooms.

Gina

Quote from: gina_taylor on March 31, 2007, 08:18:09 AM
hopefully I should be able to get a letter, even though I am not starting HRT. 
Gina

The 'carry' letter is usually given as soon as one is diagnosed with GID, Gina.  Don't expect it to carry much weight with an irate policeman or security guard, though. 

If needed, ask if you can show him/her the letter.  Reaching into your purse could be construed as going for a weapon; so play it cool.  Hopefully, you'll never have the problem.

Robyn

Quote from: Robyn on March 31, 2007, 12:37:49 PM
The 'carry' letter is usually given as soon as one is diagnosed with GID, Gina.  Don't expect it to carry much weight with an irate policeman or security guard, though.

For what it's worth, I didn't get one until I was on HRT and committed to transitioning. Then again, until I was on HRT, I didn't look female enough to need a letter. Mine says:

The purpose of this letter is to verify that [name] is under my care in a male to female gender reassignment program involving gender counseling, estrogenic hormonal treatment, electrolysis, and sexual reassignment surgery.

[Name] should be accorded all the rights, privileges, and respect due a female.

That last line still brings tears to my eyes :)

Kate

One think I never do when dressed, whether in the ladies room or anywhere is speak to children. I guess if one was lost and came to me I would talk to them but only in highlyl visible public space and I would foist them off on someone else ASAP. And I would never, never actually touch them or make any motion as to touch them. The problems you may get from being involved with a child are so horrible that you should do anything to avoid any involvement with them short of letting them be injured when you are the only one who could help.

Danielle

Quote from: Dryad on March 16, 2007, 08:16:28 AM
It's nice living in  country where nobody takes those rules seriously..

Was standing in the men's, once. Door opens, woman trots in, looks around, sees me, and blushes. So I ask: "Woman's full?" She nods, then simply uses the lavvy.
The only problem in this situation was that she was hoping the men's was empty. I've used the woman's, too, often enough. Simply say that the other privvy is full up, you really need to go, and will burst if forced to wait in line, and all will be fine, around here.

I just wonder: how can anyone be charged with 'being a pedophile' for using the restroom meant for another gender?

It's the same in the uk, a while back my sister dragged me kicking and screaming into the mens room because she couldn't be bothered to que for the womens, it's no big deal.

The 'carry' letter is usually given as soon as one is diagnosed with GID, Gina.  Don't expect it to carry much weight with an irate policeman or security guard, though. 

If needed, ask if you can show him/her the letter.  Reaching into your purse could be construed as going for a weapon; so play it cool.  Hopefully, you'll never have the problem.

Robyn
[/quote]

Very good point there Robyn, and thanks for bringing it to my attention

While I was out on Saturday, it occurred to me that since nobody has seen me as my male self, and that they are seeing me as my female self, then I have a better chance of being taken as a female, so I'm not going to be all that concerned with it.

Gina