Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Sunday breakfast prog is mentor showing single people how to get social and find a partner.
Today is divorced mother in London who has been wearing shapeless black clothes with trousers, loads of earclips and very unfem and no dates  for years.
mentor takes her shopping and forces her into pretty colourful skirts and clothes  with low necklines, adds jewellery, cuts the hair shorter and adds blonde streaks, make up, perfume! and jewellery.
Takes her out and coaches her on how to speak to men and use her (dare I say it on Susans?) natural femininity and flirtyness.
her female friends all say she is now very chatty about clothes and appearance and guys say she is looking better now she is out of hte dull blcak stuff.
end of six week sshe is out on a dinner date with a lovely guy and really enjoying herself.   table has secret cameras focussed on it to monitor progress and she has a button under table to turn cameras off if she feels confident the rest of the date is going well.
Finishes off with further date with the guy who likes her very much.

Binaries have fun.

So much of the traditional socialising places in UK have shut down that many folk just don't learn social skills and meet really nice people. 

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 18, 2011, 02:54:31 AM
Sunday breakfast prog is mentor showing single people how to get social and find a partner.
Today is divorced mother in London who has been wearing shapeless black clothes with trousers, loads of earclips and very unfem and no dates  for years.
mentor takes her shopping and forces her into pretty colourful skirts and clothes  with low necklines, adds jewellery, cuts the hair shorter and adds blonde streaks, make up, perfume! and jewellery.
Takes her out and coaches her on how to speak to men and use her (dare I say it on Susans?) natural femininity and flirtyness.

So Today is a person? Must be a common name across the pond.

But if a person is born a woman...why do they need coaching? That is like the former me learning to be "gay".

I prefer my genders in hexadecimal.  :D

lots of people forget binarism and get miserable.

Quote from: Nurse With Wound on December 18, 2011, 03:02:32 AM
I prefer my genders in hexidecimal.  :D

Okay...what is that...decimals with a curse?

Oh dear, damn you early morning halfsleeper postings.

Quote from: Nurse With Wound on December 18, 2011, 03:28:39 AM
Oh dear, damn you early morning halfsleeper postings.

I went to my room, sat at my vanity, and powdered my nose with errr...powder.

coffee break time and next Look Good Naked has gay guy with a bunch of GGs who all hide bodies in shapeless stuff. so he has to take them to mall and make them wear pretty stuff and they love it...shows them how to dress to fit their shapes regardless of what weight, shape, size they are.
One says she'd never wear a belt so he makes her and she is delighted to see how good she looks.

duno why fashion and looking good became such a no-no for UK GGs that lots of high street fashion shops have shutdown.

maybe because so many soaps have miserable couch pototo GGs living with slummy couch potato GMs?  Strange.

program always ends with the women happy to strut their stuff in bra and knix down a catwalk put in local mall with thousand folk watching.

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 18, 2011, 02:54:31 AM
and use her (dare I say it on Susans?) natural femininity and flirtyness.

LOL!! +1!

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 18, 2011, 04:32:51 AM

duno why fashion and looking good became such a no-no for UK GGs that lots of high street fashion shops have shutdown.

maybe because so many soaps have miserable couch pototo GGs living with slummy couch potato GMs?  Strange.

Nothing to do wih the recession and general lack of money then?

no.. its been this way since well before the present recession.

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 18, 2011, 03:08:32 AM
lots of people forget binarism and get miserable.

Personally, I'm a lot more miserable when I'm stuck in the binary.

Sometimes I'm not sure if I feel 100% like a girl.

I like crossdressing and looking like a guy sometimes o_o

I just hate my male body.
I'd rather have a female body and masculinize it with clothing when I want to crossdress.

So I don't believe I fit in the binary myself.
I don't like it in general though, it's not fair to make something official on what's "normal" for those who don't feel completely male or female.

Quote from: JoeyD on December 19, 2011, 10:20:42 AM
Sometimes I'm not sure if I feel 100% like a girl.

I like crossdressing and looking like a guy sometimes o_o

I just hate my male body.
I'd rather have a female body and masculinize it with clothing when I want to crossdress.

So I don't believe I fit in the binary myself.
I don't like it in general though, it's not fair to make something official on what's "normal" for those who don't feel completely male or female.

Likewise! I'm female-assigned, and I like to present feminine sometimes, but I can't stand having a female body. I'd rather be male and feminize myself than be female and masculinize.

QuotePersonally, I'm a lot more miserable when I'm stuck in the binary.

I hate it too, it makes me feel so confined.

QuoteI just hate my male body.
I'd rather have a female body and masculinize it with clothing when I want to crossdress.

I feel exactly this way!

I would so love to be passable as a woman with short hair and men's clothing.

Quote from: JoeyD on December 19, 2011, 10:20:42 AM
Sometimes I'm not sure if I feel 100% like a girl.

I like crossdressing and looking like a guy sometimes o_o

I just hate my male body.
I'd rather have a female body and masculinize it with clothing when I want to crossdress.

So I don't believe I fit in the binary myself.
I don't like it in general though, it's not fair to make something official on what's "normal" for those who don't feel completely male or female.

I'm practically the same way, however, I don't particularly ever enjoy looking like a guy; I'd more prefer appearing gender neutral.

Maybe the high street fashion stores are closing because europe is in the midst of a recession and debt crisis which hasnt been this bad since WWII. I'm just guessing, but 300 pounds for a skirt suit is beyond my budget. While I enjoy dressing femininly, I don't think it is very good that such a high value is placed on gender bianary when gender is a spectrum from male to female.

Huggs

Emily

Quote from: Nurse With Wound on December 18, 2011, 03:02:32 AM
I prefer my genders in hexadecimal.  :D

This one goes to B ;D.

I'm attracted to androgyne people, and prefer people being attracted to my androgyny to them wanting me to be a stereotypical man/woman. This worked out very fine for me and my new girlfriend.

So I think it depends what you're looking for, and how you want to be seen - as well as how good you feel about yourself (and how good you feel about yourself depends amongst other things on to what extent you're being your true self - whether that expresses itself in binary dress-code or in something else entirely).

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 18, 2011, 02:54:31 AM
Sunday breakfast prog is mentor showing single people how to get social and find a partner.
Today is divorced mother in London who has been wearing shapeless black clothes with trousers, loads of earclips and very unfem and no dates  for years.
mentor takes her shopping and forces her into pretty colourful skirts and clothes  with low necklines, adds jewellery, cuts the hair shorter and adds blonde streaks, make up, perfume! and jewellery.
Takes her out and coaches her on how to speak to men and use her (dare I say it on Susans?) natural femininity and flirtyness.
her female friends all say she is now very chatty about clothes and appearance and guys say she is looking better now she is out of hte dull blcak stuff.
end of six week sshe is out on a dinner date with a lovely guy and really enjoying herself.   table has secret cameras focussed on it to monitor progress and she has a button under table to turn cameras off if she feels confident the rest of the date is going well.
Finishes off with further date with the guy who likes her very much.

Binaries have fun.

So much of the traditional socialising places in UK have shut down that many folk just don't learn social skills and meet really nice people.

You keep using this word: "binarism".

I don't think it means what you think it means.

Watch this:

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 18, 2011, 04:32:51 AM
coffee break time and next Look Good Naked has gay guy with a bunch of GGs who all hide bodies in shapeless stuff. so he has to take them to mall and make them wear pretty stuff and they love it...shows them how to dress to fit their shapes regardless of what weight, shape, size they are.
One says she'd never wear a belt so he makes her and she is delighted to see how good she looks.

duno why fashion and looking good became such a no-no for UK GGs that lots of high street fashion shops have shutdown.

maybe because so many soaps have miserable couch pototo GGs living with slummy couch potato GMs?  Strange.

program always ends with the women happy to strut their stuff in bra and knix down a catwalk put in local mall with thousand folk watching.

This is sexism.  It's promoting the adherence of women to sexist categories of appearance and compliance to inappropriately gendered roles (with the implication that women who do not adhere to these ideals are inherently inferior).

This is also transphobia.  Why does it matter that these "girls" (this is sexist) are "genetic"?  How is this at all relevant?  How would it be any different if these women were trans as opposed to being cis?

"Fashion" is not bad.  Requiring that women adhere to narrowly and strictly defined standards of beauty is bad.

--

Now let's look at binarism.  Binarism is the concept that stable, rigid categorical classifications of thought can be used to examine and distinguish the opposing poles of a dichotomous relationship.  When we consider gender binarism, we can investigate its close cousin oppositional sexism, the idea that male and female are strictly defined, mutually exclusive categories that have their own exclusive sets of attributes.  This is not okay.  This is, first off, offensive and constitutes the erasure of anyone who identifies outside the binary or characterizes their gender expression as androgynous or non-binary.

Note that this does not mean that people are not permitted to identify at the male and female poles of the gender spectrum.  It just means that you aren't erasing non-binary people every time you talk about your own gender.

I think the moral of the story is that if you want to hook a guy who likes femmy women, then look like a femmy woman.  If you want to hook a guy that likes women who dress frumpy, then dress frumpy.  Me - I'll dress babydyke and hope to catch the attention of a cute femme who goes in for that look.  That way, I feel good about my presentation because it's how I enjoy presenting myself(and it says volumes about my personality) and it advertises myself accurately to potential partners.  Really, I think appearance is more of the advertisement for the personality wrapped up in the package of your flesh.

Quote from: Cadence Jean on December 19, 2011, 06:29:43 PMMe - I'll dress babydyke...

Be still my heart! :blush:

I agree, having a look that expresses your self unfiltered says a lot about who you are and how comfortable you are with it. I'm done with "passing" as a man, and I'm damned if I'm going to try to look like someone *else* I'm not.

Quote from: Padma on December 19, 2011, 07:39:08 PM
I agree, having a look that expresses your self unfiltered says a lot about who you are and how comfortable you are with it. I'm done with "passing" as a man, and I'm damned if I'm going to try to look like someone *else* I'm not.

I so totally agree with that. Like attracts like.
Be yourself, so someone can genuinely appreciate you, Or they may just treat you like trash(..if..well...errr... that is your thing?!?)   ;)

OXOXOXO

If the Gender Binary works for you, fine. I have no problem with you taking that personal position.
Personally I feel that it allows for oppression by patriarchal heterosexual males, to the point where it has become so all pervasive that those who don't fit in still are trapped by it.  They are gaymen and lesbian women, for example.   
Transsexuals have a chance to operate outside this mindset. 
I prefer to think of a space with lots of opposite poles around it's outer edge.  Opposites like male/female, gay/straight, masculine/feminine etc.
We would be free to move around in this space over time, so we can see that we are actually changing in many ways during our lives.
I find it's fuzziness reassuring too in that I don't have to define myself exactly, and am not expected to.

Karen. (who seems to be turning into a radical feminist?)

Quote from: justmeinoz
Transsexuals have a chance to operate outside this mindset. 

But WHY would a TS want to operate outside the mindset or want to be associated with gays and lesbians?

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 20, 2011, 09:23:13 AMBut WHY would a TS want to operate outside the mindset or want to be associated with gays and lesbians?

Probably because I'm gay. :P

Quote from: Sarah7 on December 20, 2011, 10:13:36 AM
Probably because I'm gay. :P

This. And also: why would a TS (or anyone else) not want to just associate and be associated with any decent people whatsoever, sexuality/gender regardless?

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 20, 2011, 09:23:13 AM
But WHY would a TS want to operate outside the mindset or want to be associated with gays and lesbians?

Because lots are non-binary, and lots are gays, lesbians, or otherwise queer.

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 20, 2011, 09:23:13 AM
But WHY would a TS want to operate outside the mindset or want to be associated with gays and lesbians?

Because the LGBT center is available and they always have fresh coffee and cinamon rolls?

Yes, Gender Binarism is good- But not if it is considered an unwritten law of how each and everyone "must" be.

There are many types, expressions and grades of gender, so why only limit it to two expressions alone?

That would not make sense whatsoever, as it would also mean that those transsexuals that have transitioned have gone against that very binary system, no matter how female or male they consider themselves to be. They have gone against the system of Gender Binary the same moment they realized that they could not perform as the gender that is considered to follow with their birth-assigned Sex.

Nonetheless, and as I said, I do consider Gender Binary- too- to be a good thing when existing peacefully side by side with other types of expressions of Gender as the roots of it(Gender Binary) it is just as existing and valid as any other "version" of Gender.

so many of you hijacked my OP with silly talk about multiple genders   :D

We knew who we were even before we did a thing. Then we did a thing and many of us got consumed on the thing and lost that spiritual understanding before we did a thing!

Let us transition gender altogether .. to the spirit within

Quote from: Sarah7 on December 20, 2011, 10:13:36 AM
Probably because I'm gay. :P

That makes two of us. ;D

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 20, 2011, 09:23:13 AM
But WHY would a TS want to operate outside the mindset or want to be associated with gays and lesbians?

To use the Aussie vernacular, "to get a root of course!"

Quote from: Wonderdyke on December 21, 2011, 02:03:14 PM
That makes two of us. ;D

Three of us. I'm pretty ->-bleeped-<-in queer...and damn proud of it. You may be ->-bleeped-<-r than thou, but I am LGBT-er than though...or something. *shrugs

This conversation reminded me of a post I saw reblogged by one of my favorite lesbian musicians (Allison Weiss). It seems relevant to this discussion :):

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt843nOIjn1qin535o1_500.png (http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt843nOIjn1qin535o1_500.png)

Quote from: pidgeontoed on December 22, 2011, 03:51:03 AM
This conversation reminded me of a post I saw reblogged by one of my favorite lesbian musicians (Allison Weiss). It seems relevant to this discussion :):

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt843nOIjn1qin535o1_500.png (http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt843nOIjn1qin535o1_500.png)

That's hilarious.  You win eighty thousand queeuros for making my day.

I don't think anyone hijacked your OP. You made a statment about the gender bianary being better and insulted half the forum who don't identify that way and are happy in not doing so. You then went on to insult gays and lesbians by implying you don't see any value in associating with them.

Sometimes I don't understand how you can write such crap.

Emily

Yeah, I wouldn't deny that a lot of people love it and it works for them. But what I think you're missing is that it's not the only way to have fun. Isn't that a little boring? XD

just watching a Xmas special of 70s US country music and so many great songs.

but its gender binary blowout.   :D

Dolly Parton and Loretta Lynn with the massive hair and floaty gowns,  all the guys in the cowboy outfits and Nudie suits.

then along comes kdlang in drag with suspicion of moustache from BRSS.

I always think that more options are better than less.  Some people might need fewer options, because too many make things too complicated for them.