Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Joan/Jonas on December 20, 2011, 01:31:13 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Scared/Confused
Post by: Joan/Jonas on December 20, 2011, 01:31:13 PM
Post by: Joan/Jonas on December 20, 2011, 01:31:13 PM
I'm a teen guy. And for probably the past two years I've slowly realized (right word?) that there's something different about me. I prefer women's clothing, fashion, makeup all that. I would play with Barbies. I would do my nails the whole nine yards. I think I'm a girl with a guys body Idk though. It's all rather confusing an just need help. Sorry if this thread is excessive.
Title: Re: Scared/Confused
Post by: Joan/Jonas on December 20, 2011, 01:58:03 PM
Post by: Joan/Jonas on December 20, 2011, 01:58:03 PM
Idk if this is the right thread for this topic.
Title: Re: Scared/Confused
Post by: Maya Zimmerman on December 20, 2011, 02:24:25 PM
Post by: Maya Zimmerman on December 20, 2011, 02:24:25 PM
This forum is fine. You've got a question essentially about whether or not you're transgender and it is definitely confusing. Unfortunately, though there are certainly people here who would love to tell you that you are or are not trans, you're going to have to understand your gender identity for yourself. The way that you handle these feelings will have a very real effect on your life and should not be taken lightly. Do you feel like you are just girly or do you feel like your gender doesn't match some core aspect of who you are? Do you want other people to perceive you as male or female or both at different times or maybe not be sure? Do you feel like your body is okay?
You will probably be told by a lot of people here to start therapy and for most of us, there are a lot of very good reasons for therapy, including therapists helping us understand ourselves, helping overcome depression brought on by many aspects of being trans, and assisting in receiving treatment, such as hormone therapy and surgery. Perhaps you could consider talking to your parents about this, maybe just pointing out that you're having trouble understanding some stuff about yourself and how you fit in the world.
You will probably be told by a lot of people here to start therapy and for most of us, there are a lot of very good reasons for therapy, including therapists helping us understand ourselves, helping overcome depression brought on by many aspects of being trans, and assisting in receiving treatment, such as hormone therapy and surgery. Perhaps you could consider talking to your parents about this, maybe just pointing out that you're having trouble understanding some stuff about yourself and how you fit in the world.
Title: Re: Scared/Confused
Post by: Joan/Jonas on December 20, 2011, 02:36:51 PM
Post by: Joan/Jonas on December 20, 2011, 02:36:51 PM
QuoteDo you feel like you are just girly or do you feel like your gender doesn't match some core aspect of who you are? Do you want other people to perceive you as male or female or both at different times or maybe not be sure? Do you feel like your body is okay?
Question 1: I don't know. I feel far more girly than masculine in my wants and such. I'd be more comfortable explaining in PM...sorry.
Question 2: More as both. Like I don't know if I see myself as either girl or guy or if I see myself as guy and girl.
Question 2: Um ...see end of question 1 hehe
Title: Re: Scared/Confused
Post by: Maya Zimmerman on December 20, 2011, 02:57:40 PM
Post by: Maya Zimmerman on December 20, 2011, 02:57:40 PM
Well, I was mostly asking those questions for you to be considering for yourself. Your answers to questions like that to someone on a trans forum might not be the same as the answers you honestly have for them in your own thoughts and those are the really important answers. There are a lot of different paths you can take and chances are, once you look around a bit at different transgender expressions, such as transitioning transsexuals, crossdressers, androgynes, and every variation thereof that pops up, you'll come to understand what would work best for you.
Best of luck regardless!
Best of luck regardless!
Title: Re: Scared/Confused
Post by: stldrmgrl on December 20, 2011, 04:09:09 PM
Post by: stldrmgrl on December 20, 2011, 04:09:09 PM
I agree with Maya.
It's very important to analyze your own emotions. Telling others is a great relief, I know, but no one can tell you who you are; not even a therapist. This does not mean I condone against seeing a therapist, certainly not; I feel seeing a [gender] therapist is crucial in attempting to unravel confusion, worries and/or doubt - and as Maya said some of us would recommend, this is my first to you.
I have my own objections to telling the parents prior to gaining a full understanding of your emotions yourself, however, I will refrain from sharing as that is a decision each individual person must make.
It is a lot to take in, I know. You're confused and you seek answers. To make matters worse, the answers you seek are only capable of being given by you, the very person asking the questions. However, a gender therapist can read in between the lines and offer insight to help you answer your questions, and believe me, it is amazing how quickly you can make sense of your prior confusion.
If you would like, you may PM me. I cannot tell you who you are or what to do. I can offer advice that was given to me and allow you to use it merely as a guide. I will, however, read whatever it is you feel necessary to say, as I know having someone to share your thoughts with is imperative during the rough times.
Best of luck to you.
It's very important to analyze your own emotions. Telling others is a great relief, I know, but no one can tell you who you are; not even a therapist. This does not mean I condone against seeing a therapist, certainly not; I feel seeing a [gender] therapist is crucial in attempting to unravel confusion, worries and/or doubt - and as Maya said some of us would recommend, this is my first to you.
I have my own objections to telling the parents prior to gaining a full understanding of your emotions yourself, however, I will refrain from sharing as that is a decision each individual person must make.
It is a lot to take in, I know. You're confused and you seek answers. To make matters worse, the answers you seek are only capable of being given by you, the very person asking the questions. However, a gender therapist can read in between the lines and offer insight to help you answer your questions, and believe me, it is amazing how quickly you can make sense of your prior confusion.
If you would like, you may PM me. I cannot tell you who you are or what to do. I can offer advice that was given to me and allow you to use it merely as a guide. I will, however, read whatever it is you feel necessary to say, as I know having someone to share your thoughts with is imperative during the rough times.
Best of luck to you.