Susan's Place Transgender Resources

A date on Chrismass day has been set up and I am really nervous!
I was working one day and showed up at this guys office to do some maintenance.
We got a bit into a conversation but then I was done with my work and we said good buy. No clues at all that something just happened.
Next day I get a call from my boss telling me there is a phone message for me with a phone number to call someone named so and so. I was really surprised to say a least.
So 2 days later which was yesterday I gave him a call and I was just very professional explaining how I am returning his call and asking how can I help.
There was a bit silence on the other end and then he said he found me very interesting. Now I knew his call wasn't business related. Then I realized this is my opportunity for the cat and mouse game whereas I was the mouse but in control. Something I experienced only from the opposite side!
I asked him if he was so interested to give me a call if he would be interested to learn more about me. He chuckled and said yes and we set up a date for this coming sunday.

I realize I am in a lot of control when it comes to the dynamics between him and I which opens all kinds of questions.
I have to come out rather sooner than later. I have a daughter and I still live with my ex who meanwhile turned out to be my best sister for ever and we have wonderful relationship.
There is a lot for a guy to digest and I do want to feed the informations to him slowly but there is nothing regular about me so even the small chunks are a big bite to chew.
I know this can of course still go in any direction as we don't know each other at all and I might not like him but I guess I am wondering in what order do I approach things. I don't have a good poker face and can't withold my story for very long.
I guess I just needed to say this out loud. I know I'll have to improvise when the Sunday comes and feel it out on the spot.

Wish me luck people!

I wish you the best of luck. I hope you have an excellent date! :)

Congrats  ;D  Hope it all goes well and you have a great time

Good luck!

nice date to chat about anything/everything in public place is good. enjoy it.

thanks everyone!
We are meeting for an afternoon coffee/walk.
And yes there is planty to talk about as I am  interested in his type of work which is "Behavioral Health"
and I guess we'll see what does he find so interesting about me ;) and talk about that as well.

Is it Christmas or Chrissmas? lol

Goog question MsDazzler!

I've been using both but I am not a native english speaker so this will have to answer someone else.

Well I am back home from my date.
I held off on telling about my trans status for as long as I could but then it just had to happen in my opinion as we were coming back to certain questions that I would have to dodge to answer. Actually I would have to lie or make up stuff and that simple wouldn't provide a base for meaningful conversation. I am a parent and he knew that so there is only so much I can do to avoid the questions of who is the other parent and such without making stuff up. Also I felt like if I am avoiding topics of parenthood, previous relationships etc. it would suggest that I have a problem with my trans status or that I am ashamed of it. So I took the previous advices and just stood my ground confidently and explained the situation without being dramatic or put too much importance to it.
He took the info just fine but as the conversation went on it became clear that he was presented with my physique that he didn't expect and that threw him off his path. He liked my personality and he liked what he saw but he was trying to figure out if he can handle my genital situation even though he had an experience with a guy once and figured he is not gay.
I don't know if he'll call and he said in a non suggestive way that he really has to get clear with himself as he wouldn't want to "exploit" me just out of his curiosity. For me he seemed like it would be worth to try to get to know him better as he wasn't off putting in any way but of course it is way too early to tell. It wasn't a "love on first sight" for me either but I found myself really struggling with my pre-op status as he was pretty clear he wouldn't have an issue if I were post-op.

Maybe you can use the fact that you are recently out of a relationship as  a reason to take things slowly?   That would give him plenty of breathing space, and time to get used to the situation.  I hope it works out for you, it's nice to see someone happy.
Everyone who gets a run on the scoreboard encourages the rest of us not to give up hope as well.

Karen.

Quote from: envie on December 25, 2011, 11:28:41 PM
he was pretty clear he wouldn't have an issue if I were post-op.

just a thought I don't really know you or what your path for transition is but do you want/intend on having GRS? if so maybe that's something that can be said at some point (if you haven't already) and it might help both of you.

Quote from: justmeinoz on December 26, 2011, 12:33:04 AM
Maybe you can use the fact that you are recently out of a relationship as  a reason to take things slowly?   That would give him plenty of breathing space, and time to get used to the situation.

I am not really rushing things it's him who wants to not invest himself in something he feels he can't handle for my and his own sake. I kind of appreciated that although it still did hurt to focus so much on the sexual part of the relationship. It is probably also his side effects of testosterone saturated brain known as sex drive that caused him to focus on that as well. It's not like that is all we talked about but last quarter of our 3 and a half hour date did focus on that.

Quote from: miss x 1990 on December 26, 2011, 07:45:24 AM
just a thought I don't really know you or what your path for transition is but do you want/intend on having GRS? if so maybe that's something that can be said at some point (if you haven't already) and it might help both of you.

I did say that and he was understanding of the financial challenge of it. But again I think  it's the here and now in combination with mans sexual needs that made him wonder.
And honestly in some ways that is all there is at the moment as we don't know each other and so people try to focus on what they know about the other. The question is do we have something in common and is it worth having another date and trying to get to know each other better while having the trany issue over his head. I guess only he can tell.
I really didn't like the talk about intimacy in some sort of technical way but I felt like I needed to give him a break about it as my physique indeed does pose some challenging thoughts.
I don't know I feel pretty yucky this morning. I am sort of bouncing from being very positive to being very negative about my experience ???

Now that you told him and you got his reaction, do you think that perhaps you told him too soon?

Technically yes, I did tell him sooner than I wanted to but like I said I was presented on several occasions to either lie or tell the truth. Like asking a question about my daughters father or why did it matter for me to escape extremely homophobic part of the world. I know I could have made up answers, dodged the questions or be even more careful what I say but that felt wrong. I wasn't there to pass a test or tell tall tales. Besides I think anyone would get eventually suspicious about my honesty or having too many issues if I continue to make some excuses for not giving straight answers. I am not very good at keeping my poker face unless I have a gun against my temple.
I think it needs to be said that I have a sort of mind blowing life story that intrigued him initially and that is why he asked me out, to learn more. Under this circumstance it was really hard to avoid the coming out as my transsexuality plays a big role over my entire life.   
I don't know may be there was another way around it but I didn't know of it as of yet.  May be this is some sort of learning curve for me?