Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm ugly  :(

Kia Ora,

Danny Kaye - The Ugly Duckling (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMKxnYRhk6I#)

Remember "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder !" What one thinks about their looks[For example the inner critic saying "I'm ugly!"] is not necessarily how others might think or see them...

Metta Zenda :)

Have you even posted a picture here?
I'm yet to see one...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but there's not really too much to say as to "why" everyone is more beautiful than you if you don't say "why" or tell us "why". Just thought I'd point that out. Regardless, there's very few people in the world that I'd classify as "so unattractive that they have no hope with anyone", but then again, that's just my opinion which doesn't necessarily reflect everyone else.

I don't know I always feel really ugly and unpassable compared to mostly everyone in the pics threads here, i guess it may just be a common feeling

I would rather be an ugly woman than a handsome man.

You do not see yourself the way others see you. I feel the same way from time to time. I am told I'm attractive, but there is a part of me that doesn't quite believe it. We are women and we are insecure about our looks.  Congratulations, you just proved you are truly female!

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on January 05, 2012, 02:33:40 PM
I'm ugly  :(

  Post a pic Rebecca! We will be honest with you but you need to upload something for us to look at. =P

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on January 05, 2012, 02:33:40 PM
I'm ugly  :(

Simple ;D because the ugly ones like me don't post pics, so you don't see them :P Doesn't mean everyone else is a lot more attractive

Quote from: apple pie on January 06, 2012, 03:45:25 AM
Simple ;D because the ugly ones like me don't post pics, so you don't see them :P Doesn't mean everyone else is a lot more attractive

Exactly this. ;D

I think you are full of crap. Ugly people are cruel, mean and just nasty. you are not.

I've been a cute guy and now an unnatractive female. But I am happy. ^_^

Quote from: Melody Maia on January 05, 2012, 08:39:25 PM
You do not see yourself the way others see you. I feel the same way from time to time. I am told I'm attractive, but there is a part of me that doesn't quite believe it. We are women and we are insecure about our looks.  Congratulations, you just proved you are truly female!

That pretty much hits the nail on the head.   Although I have had plenty of comments that I look  quite feminine, including from my gender psychiatrist who has been doing this for years, I still have trouble believing it.

Quote from: PaigeM on January 05, 2012, 08:32:57 PM
I would rather be an ugly woman than a handsome man.

Another one bites the dust about appearances... heh

Im a fat ugly pig.  :(

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on January 06, 2012, 05:00:17 PM
Im a fat ugly pig.  :(

  No your not! Omfg don't be one of those girls that say they're ugly without even trying. It takes alot of work but it's not impossible to pretty and passable.  :)

Quote from: Keaira on January 06, 2012, 04:31:08 AM
I think you are full of crap. Ugly people are cruel, mean and just nasty. you are not.

I've been a cute guy and now an unnatractive female. But I am happy. ^_^

FFS you are not unattractive.   Seriously people get new mirrors because obviously yours are broken.


The reason women are unattractive is because they think they are.


Here's another example.


Have you ever met a woman who you thought was average in looks.  Never paid too much mind one way or another.  Suddenly the woman starts going off about how much weight she's gained.

You say  "Really you don't look that bad?  What did you gain like 10 pounds?"   She says "Oh no I gained 30 pounds since last winter.  Look at my arms!'  She holds up her arms and yanks up her sleeve and shows you her waddle under her arm  "Look how flabby it is!  And my stomach!  Look at my rolls!"  She points you to her stomach which you didn't really notice before but WOW yeah now that you look at it you can see she has a pooch.

So now you think she's fat.   You didn't before.   You didn't really notice it.   But once it had been pointed out to you you can't unsee it.


This is what I think a lot of you do.

Quote from: mixie on January 06, 2012, 05:19:35 PM
FFS you are not unattractive.   Seriously people get new mirrors because obviously yours are broken.


The reason women are unattractive is because they think they are.


Here's another example.


Have you ever met a woman who you thought was average in looks.  Never paid too much mind one way or another.  Suddenly the woman starts going off about how much weight she's gained.

You say  "Really you don't look that bad?  What did you gain like 10 pounds?"   She says "Oh no I gained 30 pounds since last winter.  Look at my arms!'  She holds up her arms and yanks up her sleeve and shows you her waddle under her arm  "Look how flabby it is!  And my stomach!  Look at my rolls!"  She points you to her stomach which you didn't really notice before but WOW yeah now that you look at it you can see she has a pooch.

So now you think she's fat.   You didn't before.   You didn't really notice it.   But once it had been pointed out to you you can't unsee it.


This is what I think a lot of you do.

All I'm saying is Guys and girls don't give me a 2nd glance.  I guess I blend in enough to be unremarkable.  I know I have a bit going for me, such as my height, [5'5], practically no adams apple, not overly hairy, and a fairly gender-neutral voice. But I'm not raggin' on myself, I'm just saying that I'm not remarkable.

everyone tells me i look alright, but i can't see anything but my face screaming MAN, i can't be THAT biased about it

Kia Ora,

"Why is everyone else so much more attractive than me?"

::) Simply because you lack 'self worth/esteem' once you get some, your world will take on a different 'appearance' !

::) And the good news is once you've had a taste of 'self confidence', it takes on a life of its own and the more one uses it[confidence that is] the more it will grow !

"However the mistake that many seem to make is to focus too much on what they want, the mind creates reasons why 'you' can't have it. This leads one to dwell on ones weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills,  and positive momentum. You'll be amazed how much you have going for you!"

::) A short cut [proven] way to obtaining confidence, is to fake it...."Fake it until you make it !"

Metta Zenda :)

I had a taste of passing. and I liked it!!  ;D

Too many people know me at work. and I spend too much time there to really know if I pass or if I was just lucky that day.

Quote from: mixie on January 06, 2012, 05:19:35 PM
FFS you are not unattractive.   Seriously people get new mirrors because obviously yours are broken.


The reason women are unattractive is because they think they are.


Here's another example.


Have you ever met a woman who you thought was average in looks.  Never paid too much mind one way or another.  Suddenly the woman starts going off about how much weight she's gained.

You say  "Really you don't look that bad?  What did you gain like 10 pounds?"   She says "Oh no I gained 30 pounds since last winter.  Look at my arms!'  She holds up her arms and yanks up her sleeve and shows you her waddle under her arm  "Look how flabby it is!  And my stomach!  Look at my rolls!"  She points you to her stomach which you didn't really notice before but WOW yeah now that you look at it you can see she has a pooch.

So now you think she's fat.   You didn't before.   You didn't really notice it.   But once it had been pointed out to you you can't unsee it.


This is what I think a lot of you do.

I think this is true with my one day I look like woman the next I look like a man thing that happens to me when I am looking in the mirror. When I feel like me I see female things about me but when i feel like crap and start looking for male things about me I find them with no problem.

Physical beauty isn't all about how your face is structured or how many pounds you carry around.  A LOT of it is poise, style, and, most importantly, self-confidence.  Confidence is very attractive.  Watch some television and you'll see many people who wouldn't be considered 'beautiful' if they lacked confidence, but are stars because of it.

Quote from: Nikorniki on January 07, 2012, 05:08:32 AM
Physical beauty isn't all about how your face is structured or how many pounds you carry around.  A LOT of it is poise, style, and, most importantly, self-confidence.  Confidence is very attractive.  Watch some television and you'll see many people who wouldn't be considered 'beautiful' if they lacked confidence, but are stars because of it.

This ^. Plus at one point I was very overweight. I've lost nearly 70 pounds now. I think that has actually helped my transition. The changes seem more dramatic.

Quote from: Nikorniki on January 07, 2012, 05:08:32 AM
Physical beauty is about, most importantly, self-confidence. Confidence is very attractive.

Physical beauty isn't about confidence. However confidence is a good trait, just don't confuse it with arrogance or being too talkative etc...

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on January 06, 2012, 05:00:17 PM
Im a fat ugly pig.  :(

Then lose some weight?

@8888 Please, don't misquote me.  By editing what I've said while quoting me, you change the apparent meaning of what I have stated.  Context, context, context.

I'm much more attracted to confident people than people with low self-esteem.  Arrogance, nowhere near as much, but they may be completely justified in their arrogance.  ;)   

Webster's defines beauty as the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit. 

Confidence is beautiful to me by this or any definition.

Quote from: Nikorniki on January 07, 2012, 06:00:54 AM
Please, don't misquote me.  By editing what I've said while quoting me, you change the apparent meaning of what I have stated.  Context, context, context.

I'm much more attracted to confident people than people with low self-esteem.  Arrogance, nowhere near as much, but they may be completely justified in their arrogance.  ;)   

Webster's defines beauty as the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit. 

Only the apparant meaning wasn't changed, and the context is exactly the same... you said physical beauty, which relates to physique... something tangible.

Arrogance is never justified.

@8888 Confidence is something that can be physically sensed, therefore tangible.   A person's poise, carriage, gestures, expressions, and voice can indicate whether or not a person has confidence. 

Yes, a person's physique is part of their physical beauty, but it isn't ALL of a person's physical beauty.   A person's poise, carriage, gestures, expressions, and voice factor into their physical beauty. 

Quote from: J S on January 07, 2012, 12:25:18 AM
everyone tells me i look alright, but i can't see anything but my face screaming MAN, i can't be THAT biased about it

Everyone on here has told you that you either pass right now or that passing wouldn't be hard for you.
All of the "masculine" features you point out on your face, no one seems to see but you in your post.
You are a very pretty person; I'm harsh on people when it comes to passing and I noticed a lot of other people who usually seem to be to agree with me as well.
Just thought I'd comment on your post, since no one else did, but you really can be THAT biased.
A mind can greatly distort the way a person perceives himself/herself (in your case, herself, but this can apply to anyone).

Quote from: jainie marlena on January 07, 2012, 04:30:32 AM
I think this is true with my one day I look like woman the next I look like a man thing that happens to me when I am looking in the mirror. When I feel like me I see female things about me but when i feel like crap and start looking for male things about me I find them with no problem.

I have an expression  "The longer you look in the mirror, the uglier you get."  I remember that from when I was young.


You look like a young Hellen Mirren who is the goddess to all us fat ugly cisgendered women.

ETA  I realize that the joke might have been lost here.  Helen Mirren is considered a godess to everyone.  LOL She was voted as one of the sexiest women on the planet at age 66 years old.

http://www.salon.com/2011/08/03/helen_mirren_sexiest_body_in_the_world/ (http://www.salon.com/2011/08/03/helen_mirren_sexiest_body_in_the_world/)




Now


(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hollywoodreporter.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F12%2Fhelen_color_2010_a_p.jpg&hash=daba936a685d4442b154b63b23551a9e3883c267)






Then

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Finteractive.wxxi.org%2Ffiles%2Fimages%2F73064.medium.jpeg&hash=eed43e38d5ce94877e5b46b825c22e0a7b56f729)

Quote from: 8888 on January 07, 2012, 10:04:48 AM
Only the apparant meaning wasn't changed, and the context is exactly the same... you said physical beauty, which relates to physique... something tangible.

Arrogance is never justified.

when you quote someone it is ethical and appropriate to keep EVERYTHING in the quote. Quoting someone else and editing their work based on what you think they said is just wrong and it only makes you look bad, regardless on how you think others may perceive the person.

If this was done professionally you would probably lose your job. If you misquote someone academically (be altering a quote to fit your paper) will cause you to fail the paper. In forums, it's just wrong and in bad form.

I agree with Nikor. I can tell if a person has confidence by their body language and their eye contact.

quoted instead of edited

yup

Quote from: Annah on January 07, 2012, 06:29:13 PM
when you quote someone it is ethical and appropriate to keep EVERYTHING in the quote. Quoting someone else and editing their work based on what you think they said is just wrong and it only makes you look bad, regardless on how you think others may perceive the person.

That isn't to say that you can't alter their grammar if they made a mistake or if it would flow better in your prose or even to add clarity from a quote by a professional in a piece you're writing for a non-professional audience.

Of course, you can only do so when you add [brackets] to the quote to signify your change.

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on January 06, 2012, 05:00:17 PM
Im a fat ugly pug.  :(

I think you're kinda cute!!!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fprettypugs.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F05%2FPUG2.jpg&hash=ce025e5f1becef480aca0a5645187e7c761e72bc)



NOTE TO OTHERS: It is sometimes better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
RE: Editing quotes

Quote from: Jenny_B_Good on January 08, 2012, 04:52:36 AM
I think you're kinda cute!!!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fprettypugs.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F05%2FPUG2.jpg&hash=ce025e5f1becef480aca0a5645187e7c761e72bc)



NOTE TO OTHERS: It is sometimes better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
RE: Editing quotes

Lol thanks for making me laugh,

Quote from: mixie on January 07, 2012, 06:37:57 PM
quoted instead of edited

Indeed

Quote from: Guantanamera on January 07, 2012, 08:44:06 PM
That isn't to say that you can't alter their grammar if they made a mistake or if it would flow better in your prose or even to add clarity from a quote by a professional in a piece you're writing for a non-professional audience.

Of course, you can only do so when you add [brackets] to the quote to signify your change.

That's when you wish want to addd add the strikethrough to the quote.

Quote from: Annah on January 08, 2012, 02:55:46 PM
That's when you wish want to addd add the strikethrough to the quote.

Is that how the html works on this forum?

I was speaking in general from Academic experience.

If a quote contains a typo, you can use [sic] next to the misspelled word signifying it was originally misspelled; I wouldn't advise correcting it if you intend on being grammatically correct.  Otherwise if you must correct it, I'd put the corrected portion in brackets.  For additions, ya - brackets to include anything you've added to the quote.

In reference to the OP...

why is everyone else so much more attractive than me?

Perhaps it is not a matter of attraction, but one of self-esteem.

The Ugly Barnacle (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2U8yfKM9nY#)

why don't you get plastic surgery if you feel so ugly?  ::)