Susan's Place Transgender Resources

for me it where my dad, he turned out pretty amazing, and I am pretty proud of him for trying so hard. :D

They've all been pretty amazing, I'm grateful for that every day of my life.

You forgot the most important family member of all.  The only one you get to choose in fact.  Your spouse is what I mean.

Of the rest of my family, well...... I have an uncle and his wife and their oldest child and his wife.  That is it.  But the rest weren't talking to be BEFORE I came out because in order to come out I first had to break free and once I stopped following their rules for the betterment of the family well.........  I was excommunicated.

My sis. The rest of my family have been great, but my sis understands me in a way that nobody else really does.

I chose other because no member of my family is more supportive than another.  Most are against it, but I still remain in their lives.

I voted other, simply because all my family have been very accepting and supportive..

I voted a sibling, but none of my family actually talk to me except for my daughter. My daughter would accept me if I told her I was a serial killer from Mars. She doesn't care what I am. I take care of her and make the world safe. Ish. Sorta safe. My kid sees monsters I can't see, and I can't stop those, but still. That's a digression.

I think my parents would be okay if they knew. I think maybe one or both already knows. Word gets around.

I put other because my dad doesn't support me and based on the hints I threw to my mother I know she doesn't support me.  My father's son doesn't care for me one bit.  I have 2 sisters who are preachers and I think they know but I'm sure they will only dismiss it as me needing "prayer" so pretty much the other is for the few of my friends who know and accept me.

My mum and her side of the family are very supportive. My dad not so much, but I think my dad is making progress, after over a year without contact I got a christmas card and he said he'd contact me again.

  One of my sisters.  She said that even if I turned into some kind of a woman that she will still love me.
  Joelene

I'd Have to pick either my older sister probably

My oldest sister is actually my most accepting family member followed very closely by my mom.

I chose other, meaning my fiancé. :)
She's been my greatest supporter in all of this and never had any difficulties to start using a new name. Of course, we've hit some rocks along the way mostly because of my dysphoria but here we still are. :D

I didn't vote yet because only my parents know, but so far my mom. However my dad is a dark horse because he hasn't really said much on the matter since I told him.

Dad - Could care less. He's pretty emotionally distant and into himself but very loving, so he just was like, "Okay. So, you know how... [rambles on about himself and his work]."

Mom - Pretty much fakes the support. When I came out to her, she said, "I've seen these people. It's not for you, I'm sorry." I started crying, like wtf is that? But, she goes along with it and has finally made an effort to refer to me as she, mommy (in front of my kids), and call me Chris instead of Christopher. Ironically, my girlfriend hates being a girl yet my mom keeps trying to force her to do girly things and buy her make up while I'm sitting next to her like, "Hi, I'd love for you to buy me that! Seriously??"

Brother - See dad lol.

Sister - At first I thought she was the best. She told my brother-in-law the night I came out to her, "I'm going to have a sister!." Flash forward 6 months or so, she comes over the other day and I asked her if her friends knew about my transition - we're going to a bday party for her with all our kids at Chuck-e-Cheese and I haven't seen her friends since I started. She starting talking about how everyone knew and was asking her, well what do I call him, her? Innocent enough. My sister's like, oh yeah I just told them HE's going by Michelle around HIS family ( she's technically my half-sister). This really upset me because one friend who was calling me a him, her has a FTM brother and I thought she might have corrected my sister in how to address me. I didn't let it show though and I just tried to joke, "Him, eh? Him? [laughing]." I guess that made my sister uncomfortable because she went off, "oh well anatomically you're still a boy. Just saying so. Plus I've know you for 24 years as a boy." So now I feel weird around her and her friends.

Girlfriend of 6 years who I have kids with - Totally cool with it now and wouldn't have it any other way. Took awhile though. She used to very transphobic and homophobic but she grew up in a very, very conservative Southern Baptist home.

my sister was as well as her two daughters who were teens at the time.

My dad was ok with it, but it took time for him to be really accepting and it took a bit for my brothers to get used to it. The rest of my family I have no contact with since the night my dad died.

Quote from: CalmRage on June 06, 2013, 02:09:01 PM
What worries me a bit:

My father's "new" girlfriend looks very manly and my family have constantly been cracking jokes about her and calling her male names. I participated myself, she's an awful, awful person. I'm worried about my family's reaction about coming-out. They're kind of old-fashioned for the most part.

I'd definitely avoid that. You're sending the wrong message to your family, one that you're going to inevitably have to fight to dispell when you come out. Not to sound like a corny PSA but I think you should be more like, "It's doesn't matter that she looks like a man, she's just an awful person." Who knows, maybe a dialogue will open up about trans or gender issues, and then you'll have a chance to clear the air without actually having to come out.

Quote from: CalmRage on June 06, 2013, 02:22:23 PM
Here's the thing. A few weeks ago i asked my mother:

"Do you have something against transpeople?"

She said:

"Oh no, everyone should own one."

Now, this is a joke she loves to crack, but that still does not help. I think she will accept me once i come out to her, but this attitude that my whole family has, while without any bad intent, kind of annoys me. Same thing when i ask her after a particularly off-color joke: "Do you have something against blacks?" Same response.

I totally understand, my parents like to call themselves progressive and liberal but then like to say things like [insert group of people] are good people but I really can't stand when they [stereotype].

Definitely just try to legitimize trans and gender non-comforming issues. If you make a joke now you could end up the punchline one day. I've learned this the hardway :/

Quote from: CalmRage on June 06, 2013, 02:51:08 PM
My other problem is my brother is this hyper-manly kind of guy who, while nice to others, always ridiculed me when i wanted to grow out my hair within the last few years. And my aunt (she's a hairdresser), she always cut it short when i told her to cut off just the tips to shut her up. I hate short hair. Never liked it.

I think you'll be fine :) It's because you're his brother and that's what brothers do!! I think what is really happening is that they don't know and so they're looking out for you in a"Hey, long hair makes you look too girly" sense. If she knew that's what you wanted, who knows, maybe she'd say, "great let's do this and this."

Sorry, I didn't quite think that out. Know I meant it in a way to convey the point though that he's just trying to look out for you because he's only known you one way. That's the best way I can put it.

Everyone one in my family has accepted me, except my brother and his wife who have disowned me.... However I'm still allowed to see my nieces and nephews, so at least they are not projecting that onto their children who I've always loved and been close too. My mum has tried the hardest and has been amazing, she hopes that at some point me and my brother will reconcile our differences, but seen he's is the only one who couldn't support me I don't think I will ever forgive him, even if he does accept me.

Quote from: RachelH on June 06, 2013, 05:21:32 PM
Everyone one in my family has accepted me, except my brother and his wife who have disowned me.... However I'm still allowed to see my nieces and nephews, so at least they are not projecting that onto their children who I've always loved and been close too. My mum has tried the hardest and has been amazing, she hopes that at some point me and my brother will reconcile our differences, but seen he's is the only one who couldn't support me I don't think I will ever forgive him, even if he does accept me.

Its better to forgive if they come around. I dealt with a brother that wanted nothing to do with me and did not want me anything near his child. His wife was ok with it and actually worked on him over time to get him to accept it, their daughter actually had no issue with it, but she picked up on how her dad was and until he came around, she was skittish around me. I've visited them and even stayed a few weeks at a time afterwards and even his wife's family were ok with it. But you sometimes have to give people time, especially those close to you.

Though it is a little "unfair". I can say my spouse has been the most supportive. The reason I can say that? She's the only one that knows. (lol) I've been putting it off to actually tell my friends and relatives about this simply because I'm waiting to start T and/or have my name changed first. I want to actually start changing my family's mindset when they CAN'T change it or make me feel like ->-bleeped-<- for doing it. Once I'm on T or changed my name, they'll cave.

I know it sounds mean but my family is a lot like this. If I say something before it happens, they will be less accepting and downright rude/agressive. If it happens/it's in the process of happening, then they just shrug and deal with it. I'm sure some will just reject it or balk but that's what's bound to happen with these kind of things.

Meh, I don't even know how to answer this, in a good way. Basically everyone in my family knows, and the one who I didn't think was supportive, well, is. Everyone seems super accepting and more, from both parents, to both sisters, to cousins (who want to throw me a 'coming out party' this summer), you name it. I'm glad I'm that fortunate, I really am, goodness knows with how down I get I really need it.

They are all equally as supportive. I'm lucky to have that and am thankful every day for them.

My Mom for sure.  My Dad has had a hard time with it but he still loves me, so I'm fortunate.  I've not told anyone else.  The first other will probably be my best friend and then some colleagues.

I told my mom and it didn't really surprise her.
Or my sisters . 

They just take it as its me. ..

Alot of my family knows in Oregon, aunt and uncle, grandma, grandpa, dad... but they are all christian and catholic so they basically thought my feelings were an abomination of christ or something and didn't want to hear them. My wife is my only but greatest support, she is so lovely and she loves the true me regardless of my plumbing :laugh:

I had to vote other because zero acceptance from anyone and having no family in the world counts as "other" right?

My parents try to avoid any pronouns or my chosen name, whereas my sister openly refers to me as her brother, Ari, to her friends and friends' families.

My family has been very accepting. My wife has been by far the most supportive. My dad was by far the sweetest though. After coming out to both him and my stepmom, he have me a big hug and said, "Welcome to the family, Jillian." I about cried. :)

My mom, but it's just awkward with her anyway. The only time she really uses male pronouns anymore is around my girlfriend because she knows my girlfriend has only ever known me by male pronouns and my real name. She still slips up around her though sometimes. Otherwise, it looked a while ago that she was starting to refer to me as her son to some people and sometimes using male pronouns, but now she seems to be going backwards or not really trying anymore. In some ways I feel like I just don't care anymore what she calls me as long as it's not in front of people I know/who have known me only as a guy/my real name. Even when she uses male pronouns she seems so uncomfortable with it that the whole situation just feels awkward for me as well.

But she is still the one who accepts me the most. My cousin did as well, but since he passed away she is the only one.

My wife and daughters are all supportive, my sister and her family all know, both my parents are gone now, I did come out to my Mom before she left us....

The last time I went home, one of my brothers had talked to his 10 year old son, and fiance, and all three of them made an effort to call me by my "new" nickname of Ryu instead of my dead nickname.  They also made sure to use my proper male pronouns. 

Now my nephew calls me "Uncle Roo."  :D

Ryuichi

a sibling: my sister :)