Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Stuff Cis People Say To Trans People (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_govGNuHhSg#)

Enjoy!

Lol.

The few times I've told people about my medical history, I was invariably asked the surgery question. Got the name one a few times too.

Love it!  :laugh:  They're both so cute.

That was hilarious!! I had a little giggle at this guy too!!

Sh*t trans* guys say. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1h514E2Cew&feature=related#)

XD All I can say. So accurate.

Both videos were helpful mood lighteners, especially the second one.  :) I needed a good laugh so thanks for sharing.

literally spit my water out when he did the first "hey guys this is my voice _ months on t"

Quote from: Aussie Jay on January 19, 2012, 10:14:23 PM
That was hilarious!! I had a little giggle at this guy too!!

Sh*t trans* guys say. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1h514E2Cew&feature=related#)

Yeah the part where he said "my armpits are bleeding again" i lold because I swear I said that yesterday.

Sorry, but the title grabbed my attention

From my point of view I thought that was pretty interesting and funny. Do you really ask " does this shirt make me look flat?"
How many of those questions are accurate?

I've been asked if I've had the surgery so much I give out the URL to a blog post that answers it. So, that's a universal one for both of us. ^_^

LOL @ the shirt pulling thing in the second video. SO true. And the "touch my packer" thing.

And the whole "the surgery" thing, as well, in the first one. So true. (Is it only me, or does anyone else specifically hate it when cissies use the term "the surgery." Some people say it with a wink and a nod and this air of "I know what I'm talking about because I watch Jerry Springer; Don't worry, I'm 'in the know.'" and it's kind of annoying, especially in light of the fact that there is no one surgery, especially when we're talking specifically about FTM's, and a lot of trans people are non-op to begin with. Not to mention that it's totally irrelevant whether someone has had any surgery or not. [I want a T-shirt that says "There is no 'the surgery.'"])

I liked both videos...the part that made me LOL on the second was the shirt pulling as well. I do that all the time hoping no one will notice. :P

I even got it from my Doctor, "Are you going to have the surgery?'

Quote from: Leek on January 20, 2012, 01:16:09 AM
LOL @ the shirt pulling thing in the second video. SO true. And the "touch my packer" thing.

And the whole "the surgery" thing, as well, in the first one. So true. (Is it only me, or does anyone else specifically hate it when cissies use the term "the surgery." Some people say it with a wink and a nod and this air of "I know what I'm talking about because I watch Jerry Springer; Don't worry, I'm 'in the know.'" and it's kind of annoying, especially in light of the fact that there is no one surgery, especially when we're talking specifically about FTM's, and a lot of trans people are non-op to begin with. Not to mention that it's totally irrelevant whether someone has had any surgery or not. [I want a T-shirt that says "There is no 'the surgery.'"])

Touch my packer? are you kidding me? thats nasty. LMAO! Boys will be boys I guess.

I think 'The Surgery' question is just dumb. And I get asked it by people who think that I had it because I took 4 days off last year. So I use it to my advantage. I dont tell them anything! I let them figure it out.

I often get "So, are you going to have it cut off?" to which I invariably reply "No, I'm going to have it turned inside out, and then I'm going to grow potatoes..." ;D

It's funny, isn't it, how on the one hand, people ask such inappropriately personal questions (because they're curious/fascinated), and on the other hand, we volunteer such personal answers because we sometimes just really want to tell people what's going on.

I can't really get youtube videos to play lately, but my gosh I get some stupid questions. My favorite one is still when a sex partner asked if my leg hair was real.

Quote from: Felix on January 20, 2012, 04:25:34 AM
I can't really get youtube videos to play lately, but my gosh I get some stupid questions. My favorite one is still when a sex partner asked if my leg hair was real.

"No my dear, It's not really my leg hair. It's just trimmed pubic hair I stuck to my body with bondo and super glue." :P

Quote from: Padma on January 20, 2012, 03:11:58 AM
I often get "So, are you going to have it cut off?" to which I invariably reply "No, I'm going to have it turned inside out, and then I'm going to grow potatoes..." ;D

It's funny, isn't it, how on the one hand, people ask such inappropriately personal questions (because they're curious/fascinated), and on the other hand, we volunteer such personal answers because we sometimes just really want to tell people what's going on.

It amazes me that these people think they have a right to ask these things.

This is my blog post that I send them to:

Why is this one question so important?
I feel it's time to address an important question. it's the one that's on everybody's mind. The one that keeps people up at night as they wonder about the answer.

The Question: Have you had 'The Surgery yet?'

I have been asked this question many times now.  Some of my friends and former friends have also been asked this about me.
My answer: No, my appendix is just fine.
Actually I'm very evasive in what I reveal in regards to what they want to know.  For one thing, I keep a very tight group of friends who actually know about my Sex Reassignment Surgery status. For another, There are people who have issues with my transition, refuse to even dignify me with the use of my name or correct pronouns. And I'm tired of basically being put on parade. Trust me, I know what is said about me behind my back and the looks I get. And 8 months of it has finally worn down my patience. For a transsexual, it is a very personal issue.  After all, most of us absolutely hate being born with the wrong body. We loath the genitals between our legs and so we seek medical help to correct this issue. So when you ask, "have you had SRS?" , That is like someone going up to you and asking "whats in your panties? a penis or a vagina? Can I see?"
So what if I told you straight out? If I said No, then my validity as a woman will still not exist in your eyes. If I said yes, then what? Suddenly everything is alright in the world?  Would I win the lottery?  Is there a special someone waiting to sweep my off my feet and make wild love to me? Hardly. But one thing is certain, asking someone that one, seemingly harmless question at work can be counted as sexual harassment. And since so many people have a problem with me even existing in their workplace, I've stopped being so open about my life. Let's face it, Knowing what's inside my pants isn't going to end world hunger, fend off an alien invasion or even help you sleep better at night. It's just an answer to the one question that cis-gendered people think they have the right to ask.

That's a good blog post, Keaira. I've taken much the same attitude towards my own transition lately; I just let people be confused. It's their problem if that's how they try to understand me as a person.

Quote from: Caseyyy on January 20, 2012, 05:02:06 AM
That's a good blog post, Keaira. I've taken much the same attitude towards my own transition lately; I just let people be confused. It's their problem if that's how they try to understand me as a person.

Thank you. and yea, these people don't need to know. it just gives them more power over you because then you become a sudo-male/female in their eyes. Less than a man or woman.  I used to answer every question I got and explain things, but it just seemed to make a personal matter seem impersonal. I was beginning to feel like a social experiment or a slab of meat they poked and prodded at. And no matter how polite I was there were people who just would not open their minds.

When I've been asked that question by people, my response is to ask, 'Have you had a lobotomy?'

Quote from: kelly_aus on January 20, 2012, 05:20:58 AM
When I've been asked that question by people, my response is to ask, 'Have you had a lobotomy?'

LOL... Good one Kelly  :laugh:

It's bad enough some of the dumb, rude stuff some people say and ask to you, but it's even worse some of the smack they talk behind your back  :P 
It can be vicious stuff

I have a neighbor who has been going about spreading ridiculous rumors about me  :-\  Luckily most folks know that he's full of stuffing

If someone is genuinely curious and trying to understand, I don't mind answering a few questions  :)  But if they are just being jerks... Visions of
Vlad the Impaler come to mind

That one Aussie Jay put up is hilarious! I could relate to all of it and couldn't stop laughing. Wrestling with the binder, which packer matches his personality today....LOL!!!

"Seriously, you don't know who the Cliks are?"  ;D

That's a classic. Thanks, man! You made my morning.

And OH! The shirt pulling!! LOL!!!

crazy ** cis- says to trans.

soo..... your trans, then your into girls right??

just have to mention people who dont know im trans always ask if im gay, like the most obvious fact every.

Whilst we're on the subject of who says what to who

->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s Say (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylcp8OENiwU&feature=related#)

Sorry but I fort it was funny, like the drink only spelt different....

omg that the second video is sooo true XD I do that pulling thing with my shirts all the time, because my damn breasticles keep squishing in the wrong position! :P

The second video made my day. I was just looking at packers and I said to myself "Okay, now, which one just screams my name?" XD The shirt pulling thing, yes, that it me.

Oh, and begging for help getting the binder off. I screamed that exact sentence when I was staying with my friend over the holidays. Yep. I'm that macho.

Out of all the tweaks, adjustments and therapies that there are in helping us find our way, possibly the best one is learning to laugh. To laugh at yourself, to laugh at adversity and to laugh at life. If all that fails a knockout punch can be useful  >:-) If you hear laughing coming from the hospice it'll be me on my death bed  :) wether I'm old and incontinent or not I'm determined to meet my death, pissing myself larfin. . .  ;D  ;D  ;D

Quote from: Beverley on January 20, 2012, 09:04:43 AM
That is a thoughtful and well argued response and so much better than my standard response which is the rather blunt "That is none of your business". If I find the questioner particularly rude or intrusive (as happened once) I go with the extremely concise "F*** off". There are clearly some male traits I have not eliminated just yet. ::)

Beverley

(Trying hard to be more ladylike, but sometimes failing very, very badly)

My point of view is that I may be the first transsexual they have met. It's like being an ambassador for your community. First impressions count. If you're a total bitch to them then it's game over, You've just colored that person's perception of us and any other transsexual from then on. If we want equal right's we need to show that we are worth knowing, That we are not the deviants, freaks and monsters that the media and politicians try to portray us as.

Quote from: Keaira on January 21, 2012, 02:56:59 AM
My point of view is that I may be the first transsexual they have met. It's like being an ambassador for your community. First impressions count. If you're a total bitch to them then it's game over, You've just colored that person's perception of us and any other transsexual from then on. If we want equal right's we need to show that we are worth knowing, That we are not the deviants, freaks and monsters that the media and politicians try to portray us as.

So when somebody asks "Can I see it" with "it" being my genitals I would say "yes, good sir! I will gladly flaunt my tallywhacker for you."

Really, when it comes down to it...when I get asked offensive questions I usually don't have the ability to answer "politely" and "be nice."

People (for some weird reason) don't always realise without prompting that they're being offensive. So if you can hold back your own offendedness, it's worth pointing out first that what they've said is quite inappropriate, and why - because they may genuinely have just not thought it through. I get this a lot, people are so fascinated it overrides their sense of whether what they're asking is invasive, and they just need to be gently reminded, and are usually embarrassed and apologetic once they realise.

Of course, if they then continue to be offensive instead, you know they're doing it on purpose, and you can then slap them across the face with a really big fish, or whatever.

Quote from: Nygeel on January 21, 2012, 07:00:39 AM
So when somebody asks "Can I see it" with "it" being my genitals I would say "yes, good sir! I will gladly flaunt my tallywhacker for you."

Really, when it comes down to it...when I get asked offensive questions I usually don't have the ability to answer "politely" and "be nice."

lol. I'm not advocating a little 'show and tell', although your post did conjure up some amusing scenarios for me, like a headline in a newspaper that read's:

Pervert beaten with male transsexual's billy-club

But, some people don't have the patience I have. And for me it's been more of a test than anything. I just know that, for the most part, people are really curious and just don't have the guts to read up on what Transsexuality is and how much work goes into transition.

I think Padma is right...people just have no idea when they're being rude, and very few people have a good sense of boundaries. My view is, if you respond politely but firmly, people who are reasonable will respect your wishes. Those who don't aren't worth your time.

Quote from: Padma on January 21, 2012, 07:36:31 AM
People (for some weird reason) don't always realise without prompting that they're being offensive. So if you can hold back your own offendedness, it's worth pointing out first that what they've said is quite inappropriate, and why - because they may genuinely have just not thought it through.

This is generally the way I see things. If anything offensive is said, I try to apply the "name it, claim it, stop it" tool, which is basically an outline of what Padma said. It takes time and practice but I find it is worth the extra bit of effort.

Of course, if someone is being offensive on purpose or the behavior continues then that is a different story. If I've done my part by being polite and educational then that is that. If they choose to be ignorant or offensive then remove yourself from the situation.

Quote from: Aussie Jay on January 19, 2012, 10:14:23 PM
That was hilarious!! I had a little giggle at this guy too!!

I laughed so hard at the shirt pulling thing. I do that all the time. :embarrassed: as well as asking if I look flat. :P

Hmm I sure hope I haven't said any of those things.  I wonder though.  I never think if someone is post op or not.  To me it's irrelevant. If you are on hormones it affects your sexual organs too.  It's up and down the scale in different sizes and shapes.  Why would someone want to know that.  What difference does it make?  That's like asking a guy  "how big is your penis?"

its so akward when guys ask me about my penis size..
I dont really know what to tell them since it might just be 1 inch if im lucky and hard.

XD

I haven't been asked "the surgery" question....but my friend did ask me if I'd grow a dick. We kinda do, but not full-blown like she was thinking. If only it were that easy  :(

For the record, that was by far the stupidest question a 21 year old college graduate could have asked.

When guys say that, it must be really tempting to tell them you're looking for a donor ;D.

Quote from: Padma on January 23, 2012, 05:01:09 PM
When guys say that, it must be really tempting to tell them you're looking for a donor ;D.

you could make a shop, like when your selling shoes,
you order them after size, colour and type.

should be rather populær in no time.

Agh! I love Chase!
He's so amazing, and I love that video,
I say that ->-bleeped-<- all the time xDD

I'm now ridiculously conscious of how often I do the shirt pulling thing.

I do the shirt pulling thing too...it's actually more of readjusting my binder though.
I can't wait until I don't have to do that anymore.

<_<

What exactly is the deal with the shirt pulling anyway? do you guys get sticky chests and abs or something? *pictures old body slowly melting off to reveal a guy underneath*

That could be the secret FtM handshake! :P

Haha, I was thinking, now that the shirt pulling is exposed perhaps it would be a sign.

I just find the material gathers all around the chest, making it look bigger, and I feel like tugging it hides any bumps. I do the same thing with my stomach fat, lol, thinking it makes me look thinner. :P

Quote from: Keaira on January 25, 2012, 02:36:15 AM
What exactly is the deal with the shirt pulling anyway? do you guys get sticky chests and abs or something? *pictures old body slowly melting off to reveal a guy underneath*

That could be the secret FtM handshake! :P

It's because we're afraid of the shirt clinging to the binder and someone being able to see it underneath. Or if the shirt is flat against our chest it might make it look bigger, so if you pull it, it will create a crease which makes the shirt appear that it's more loose on our chest.

Quote from: Da Monkey on January 25, 2012, 08:51:29 AM
It's because we're afraid of the shirt clinging to the binder and someone being able to see it underneath. Or if the shirt is flat against our chest it might make it look bigger, so if you pull it, it will create a crease which makes the shirt appear that it's more loose on our chest.

^ this exactly

  LOL @ those video's

  So true.   :)

<--- Shirt puller *sigh* And also the part where he trips over his packer really made me laugh because it reminds me of when I left mine on my bed and slept on it, woke up and felt something squishy where it wasn't supposed to be and found out what it was.

Aren't you guys a little self conscious about your clothes? I'm going to show you some old photos of me. I hope I can illustrate that guys aren't flat as a board in the chest unless you are thin as a rail, then maybe. and if your wearing something skin tight. But yanking at your shirts is bound to bring up questions if you do it often.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo98%2FMiriTekker%2FHPIM1421.jpg&hash=d1ae4768a4f3cbdf5a23ee7c620842e2d382ea3b)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo98%2FMiriTekker%2Fcandid%2520pics%2FHPIM0179.jpg&hash=ea2e8cbb3a545d94439b39a173339a177c3b0775)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo98%2FMiriTekker%2Fcandid%2520pics%2FHPIM1342.jpg&hash=b6c4d78757b0e11b13fa05e1645a2caf80fe92fc)

I work with an MtF who has been on HRT for 2 yrs but comes to work every day as a male. Under her shirt she wears a binder and a T-shirt. And she looks like any other guy.
So is it really that noticeable? I'm not trying to be insensitive here. I just wonder how much is a subconscious thing and how much is reality,Much like some of our hangups and insecurities on the girls side.

I think it depends. I know that for me, I look unmistakably female 99% of the time, so to me when the boobs seem visible it just gives people more reason to think of me that way.

But that does make me feel quite a bit better about it. :) Thanks.

I guess ftm are as worries about there cheast as mtf are about there bear to apear.

im pretty androgyne looking so whatever people think guy or girl depends if they can see boobs or not.

I do the shirt pulling thing sometimes, but more often I actually stick my hand in and readjust, knowing full well that guys don't do that. :laugh: That's really only a problem for me on days when I try to give my chest a break by binding loosely. Then the boobs always feel like they're trying to migrate to positions I don't like.

Quote from: Felix on February 16, 2012, 07:05:25 PM
I do the shirt pulling thing sometimes, but more often I actually stick my hand in and readjust, knowing full well that guys don't do that. :laugh: That's really only a problem for me on days when I try to give my chest a break by binding loosely. Then the boobs always feel like they're trying to migrate to positions I don't like.

Haha Felix, I do the same! I don't even think about it most times, it's probably an equal thought to how most guys do when "adjusting" themselves downstairs.