Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: NathanW on January 23, 2012, 03:23:18 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Got called a lady on the bus.
Post by: NathanW on January 23, 2012, 03:23:18 PM
Post by: NathanW on January 23, 2012, 03:23:18 PM
Today was just going fine and all till a woman with a child in a buggy came on the bus and as I waited for her to come down the aisle to park it in between the small space between a seat as the wheelchair/buggy space was already taken by another mother. the weird thing was as the woman said something along the lines of 'Sit down__ so the lady can sit back down.' I didn't feel angry or anything it just felt weird like it wasn't directed at me. thats what happened today as well when my teacher accidentally called me by my birth name.
Is this normal? I don't know whether it is because i'm comfortable with my gender identity?
Is this normal? I don't know whether it is because i'm comfortable with my gender identity?
Title: Re: Got called a lady on the bus.
Post by: Kreuzfidel on January 23, 2012, 03:58:18 PM
Post by: Kreuzfidel on January 23, 2012, 03:58:18 PM
It sounds a bit like you were dissociating from the terms, in my opinion. That's what I do when my family misgenders me. But anyone else who does just makes me angry and depressed.
Title: Re: Got called a lady on the bus.
Post by: NathanW on January 23, 2012, 04:07:22 PM
Post by: NathanW on January 23, 2012, 04:07:22 PM
Ah I see. I used to get angry and whatnot but now its kind of like 'meh'.
Title: Re: Got called a lady on the bus.
Post by: supremecatoverlord on January 23, 2012, 04:11:19 PM
Post by: supremecatoverlord on January 23, 2012, 04:11:19 PM
Does this happen to you frequently (like at least once a week) , Nathan?
You could be desensitizing yourself to it if this is the case, because sometimes our minds find it too traumatic to continually react to things that upset us - especially if they happen often.
You could be desensitizing yourself to it if this is the case, because sometimes our minds find it too traumatic to continually react to things that upset us - especially if they happen often.
Title: Re: Got called a lady on the bus.
Post by: NathanW on January 23, 2012, 04:16:02 PM
Post by: NathanW on January 23, 2012, 04:16:02 PM
I would say yes, even though i'm out to some of my performing arts group they still use female pronouns and I don't feel anything. where as in secondary school when I first got called Luke and male I felt really happy and could barely keep the grin off of my face.
Title: Re: Got called a lady on the bus.
Post by: Anon on January 23, 2012, 05:13:28 PM
Post by: Anon on January 23, 2012, 05:13:28 PM
Yeah, I'm guessing that's normal because it happens to me too.
When I was really little and first understood 'she'=girls and 'he'=boys, I wouldn't realize people were referring to me if they used 'she', and everyone thought I had hearing problems.
I think it just means that you know you are a 'he', so if someone isn't using the right term they must not be talking to you.
When I was really little and first understood 'she'=girls and 'he'=boys, I wouldn't realize people were referring to me if they used 'she', and everyone thought I had hearing problems.
I think it just means that you know you are a 'he', so if someone isn't using the right term they must not be talking to you.
Title: Re: Got called a lady on the bus.
Post by: Sharky on January 23, 2012, 05:43:44 PM
Post by: Sharky on January 23, 2012, 05:43:44 PM
I was always secure in my gender identity so I've felt that werid disconnected feeling my whole life. Being referred with female pronouns and such never had that much effect.
Title: Re: Got called a lady on the bus.
Post by: Morgan. on January 23, 2012, 08:26:55 PM
Post by: Morgan. on January 23, 2012, 08:26:55 PM
I sometimes still notice if people use the wrong pronouns, but it doesn't really bother me because.. well, I know who I am. If my friends do it (which isn't really often anymore) they correct themselves before I notice. My family of course, still have trouble with it, but again, usually correct themselves.
Just to concur with what others have said so far, I think you're comfortable with your identity, therefore these things do not come to your attention like they would for someone who is still quite unsure/anxious. I can relate to the point Jason made, because I think I've really just desensitized myself because I don't think there's any point in getting upset. For a while longer, I'm sure people will always make mistakes, especially those I don't know.
Just to concur with what others have said so far, I think you're comfortable with your identity, therefore these things do not come to your attention like they would for someone who is still quite unsure/anxious. I can relate to the point Jason made, because I think I've really just desensitized myself because I don't think there's any point in getting upset. For a while longer, I'm sure people will always make mistakes, especially those I don't know.
Title: Re: Got called a lady on the bus.
Post by: Felix on January 23, 2012, 09:28:24 PM
Post by: Felix on January 23, 2012, 09:28:24 PM
Sometimes it bothers me when people do this and sometimes it doesn't. I don't usually mind or much notice when strangers misgender me.