Susan's Place Transgender Resources

As some of you may know, I've been transitioning for a VERY  long time. I've been on hormones for a over a year. I've dealt with depression, PTSD, job discrimination, and a whole lot of other trans related BS, but today I did the absolutely most challenging thing in my transition thus far.

I've been fired somewhat related to being trans. I've dealt with feeling crappy about how my transition has been going. Absolutely nothing compares to what happened today.

I went into my mom's room to ask her about work, regular chit chat. She brought up that she and my dad saw a notebook in the garage which said stuff about injections and asked me about it. I told her that I had been transitioning and just gave her the whole story. She asked the obvious questions, about surgery, about if there was anything she could've done differently...about how I know, and how long I knew. I tried to explain it as myself as opposed to going with the "mainstream trans narrative" of feeling like this all along. So...I told her everything. She was crying. I asked her if she wanted me to leave the room, or if she wanted a hug. She took the hug. She asked about us getting letters with my preferred name, and asking if that was the name I chose. I told her yes...she said she didn't like my name.

So, I eventually left the room and she was still crying. I got dressed to go out and went back to her room to adjust my bow tie and she was still crying. I can't stand seeing her upset, but at the same time I'm feeling good. She promised that my fears of being kicked out of the house wouldn't happen. I asked for her help in finding a middle name, and she wasn't really too sure about name change stuff. I told her that I wanted to legally change my name and how that would be the end of my transition for the most part.

So...TL;DR I finally came out to my mom as being male after she found a notebook about my transition. I won't be kicked out of the house. She's still not sure about it all. Hardest stuff I've had to do in my life.

Usually I hate when people say "oh, you're so brave for being trans" but in this situation I'm going to say it to myself. I'm the bravest friggen little toaster in the whole universe!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmutantreviewers.com%2Fblog1%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F03%2Ftoaster1.jpg&hash=28db56727b3b57bdd3815848338e4f7ab3ae9023)

That's great.  I'm glad you were finally able to be open with your mom.  :)

Awh, toaster.

Gratz for you.

*hugs*

It's never easy for a parent. But It's wonderful to see that they are supportive. Including your Mother in the name choice was a good way to try and include her. It's easy to forget that in a family, Everyone makes a transition, not just the person who came out.

Wow, Nygeel. Congratulations. That's big. Looks like it's going to get a tad rocky for a bit, but I bet it's pretty exhilarating too.

That's no small feat.  Good on ya!

my mom didnt like parker at first but it grew on her.

Good for you! :) I bet it feels like a huge weight off your shoulders.

I'm surprised you managed to hide it from her though, particularly with your voice changing.

Congratulations Nygeel
That must feel really good to have that behind you. I wouldn't be surprised if that doesn't empower you to take on other challenges to move you closer to fulfilment.

I'm so proud of your Mum. She's allowed to cry. Maybe we'll see tears of joy from her when she see you fulfill your ambitions.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Congrats bro. That's tough stuff. Sounds like it went well for you though. When I first talked o my dad about it, it only happened because he found out on Facebook and immediately picked me up from my ex's house and made me talk to him. And by 'talk to him' I mean have him direct the conversation to him basically telling me this isn't happening until he's dead, because it would damage his reputation and risk his relationship with his girlfriend. Not to mention his attempt to come off as supportive by saying "I've been there for the whole gay thing." Implying that he was cool with me dating chicks, but that this is just too far.

Mah. Parents.

Good luck with everything though. It sounds like your mother will come to terms with it. It might take time, but at least you know she still loves you for you and isn't more concerned about her reputation than her kid's needs.

I'm going to have to talk to muh dad again after I start hormones. And he's probably going to try to make me call every one of my relatives and tell them the story too. Well, he can try.

I'm sorry about the job but so glad your Mother seems to be understanding about it so far.

:)

I got this text from my mom...

I want you to know i am not at all upset with you. Neither is dad.its a big adjustment but it mustve been hard for you. I spoke to debbie about this and of course she is ok with it. Thought something was going on when she heard your voicemail.


So, all is well so far. I never really hid anything. I always was myself but I just never said anything and they never asked.

I'm glad it all seems to be going well. For the record: I don't know how anyone can tell their parents, so yes, you are a brave little toaster!

You get bonus cool points, since that was my favorite movie as a kid.

That's great Toaster-Dude. ^_^
I hope things keep getting better for you.  Please pass on my thanks for being compassionate and understanding.

The Adventures of Toasterman in Transland. I like it.

Congrats, bro. 48 hour rule, but it sounds like she'll be accepting. :)

Quote from: Nygeel on February 02, 2012, 11:35:47 AM
I got this text from my mom...

I want you to know i am not at all upset with you. Neither is dad.its a big adjustment but it mustve been hard for you. I spoke to debbie about this and of course she is ok with it. Thought something was going on when she heard your voicemail.


So, all is well so far. I never really hid anything. I always was myself but I just never said anything and they never asked.

Aw, I'm glad she sent that text. ;D

As for them not asking...I guess that could make it easier or harder. :P I wish that was my situation but given my parents poor response I think they'd notice.

Stoked for your Nygeel!!  Must be a huge relief.  You definately were due for good things your way.

The follow on text was awesome!

^ This, completely. I'm so happy to hear that she didn't get mad or anything, you must feel a helluva lot better, and god yes you ARE a damn brave little toaster indeed.

That is such a great response from your mum, and yeah, you are a brave man! *manly slap on the back*   :)