Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Jill had the worst day ever!!!! It was supposed to be the best. She went to the court house to pick up her legal documents for her name change, then went to the Social Security to change her name on the SS card, then went to DMV to get her name changed on her license. She was feeling as cute as a button, then two security guards at the SS office started harassing her!!!! All she did the whole time was politly correct them on the pronouns and they proceeded to ask did she get a sex change SIR, and kept on making fun of the fact she wanted to be called SHE and continued to say SIR, right in front of EVERYONE!!!! she told them they are harassing her and it is the state law for them to respect her identity, their remarks got even more hurtful!!!! So Jill asked to talk to the Manager, more problems and they were still calling her Sir.... then one of them arrested her. The whole time she was respectful!!! As they were not!!! She was taken out back in 53 degree weather no jacket for one hour in hand cuffs, the whole time they made fun of her purse, etc. The officer from homeland security arrived finally!!! He was Jill's angel!!!!! He got the names of the two punks, so we are going to go after the Social Security Office!!! They were attacking her verbally in any which way they could!! I came home early today to support her the best way I could!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! WTF???????

Wow, you'd think they would know better, but I guess neanderthals exist everywhere. I hope it gets resolved to y'alls satisfaction.

That's terrible  >:(  I hope she's okay now

It would be worthwhile to find out what kind of legal and civil action can be taken against the abusive guards and employees  8)  I can just imagine how cute they'll look in their new discrimination law suits 

That is just crazy.  I am sorry you both had to deal with that.

We sometimes joke that we are the buckle of the bible belt, but I had nothing but a great experience with our SSA office.  Once I figured out how to "get in line" you had to sign in via computer to get waited on and it wasn't really posted clearly, I just waited my turn.  The lady was super friendly and even congratulated me.

You should definitely talk to a lawyer and pursue that further.  One hour in cuffs in the cold is likely going to be a better weapon than the verbal insults even since that was physically dangerous.

Please don't let this single incidence scare you too much though, unless the DMV and banks you all use all hire from the same rent a thug company that the SSA did you will likely have no problems with them.  I know that it can be easy to slip down the depression slope easily after something like this, but maybe if you push through and see that not all places are going to treat you the same you can stay positive.

Maybe something great is about to happen for you two and this was just a bad thing to balance it out ;)
Maybe you just found the money for Jill's surgeries?
Maybe you can imagine the guards hiding at home in stockings and tottering along in 6" heels.
Whatever it takes to stay positive because you two together can do ANYTHING if you keep positive.

She is home now and back to her union construction job!! Oh my poor wife..... BUT she is pushing through.. I have to go work.. I will see you all later on tonight!!

Oh, my goddess. It never ceases to amaze me to read stories like these.

Give Jill my best, and I hope things get much better for her soon.

I have often wished I could be present to witness an event like that because I know several people who have had similar things happen and I find it absolutely infuriating! These two knuckle dragging Neanderthals deserve a severe ass kicking and a good lawsuit in civil court to tie up their workdays, loss of income and a fined good chunk of their personal assets for an attitude adjustment. Bless Jill's sweet little heart, please give her some TLC for us!

Without getting into personal details, my wife and I dealt with a similar issue (not SSA).

Write down everything.  Every phone call, every email, every word you can remember.  Write down times, dates, etc.  Write down names if you have them.  Also know that there may be records (arrest records, if she was officially arrested; dispatch computer records; audio recordings of police phone calls or radio dispatch; police report; etc), and some of these records have limited retention.  So you want to request them if you think you'll need them.

We filed a formal complaint (typically a requirement for a lawsuit when government is involved), documented *everything*, made records requests for appropriate information, etc.  We ended up wining just on the formal complaint (we just wanted the problem fixed - if it wasn't fixed, we'd go for blood).  We filed an extremely detailed complaint (around 30 pages; it took us 4 hours to go over it with the agency when we initially delivered it) - I think they knew it would be taken very seriously by a judge/jury if it came to that, and it looked like we were willing to do that.

But, most importantly, I wouldn't even think of doing something like that without my wife wanting to do that.  There are risks of filing complaints and such (such as being outed yet again).  As for court, it can take months or years to get through a lawsuit - so it's not something I'd do unless I was absolutely committed to going through it.  That's one of the reasons we filed a complaint rather than a lawsuit.

If you interact with them, you need to be careful to not do anything that could be misconstrued as threatening, violent, or overly disruptive.  Keep the moral high ground so that they can't use anything against you or your wife.

As for lawsuits, I'd only do that if I had no other choice to get things fixed - lawsuits are really, really stressful and take years when government is involved.  You may want to contact your state's civil rights office, however - they can go after the rent-a-cops and the rent-a-cops' employer, if there are state laws to protect trans people.

I'm sorry she went through this.  My wife's experience devastated me because I know how much it hurt her.  I'm glad I thought things through and did things very methodically rather than just letting the you-know-whats have it (which was my instinct - I'd have loved to let them know what I thought of them right at the time).

One thing that I've found that helps is that I go with my wife to things where she's likely to get abuse.  They might try to pass her off as crazy if she witnesses the abuse, but having another witness can really help people do the right thing.  It's very horrible that the stereotype of a trans person is "crazy and dangerous" but sadly that's the expectation of many people.  So that's one way we can help our spouses - we don't carry that stereotype, so we're seen as more credible (yes, that's irrational of the bigots, but it sadly seems to be reality).

Slanan, an excellent level headed approach! My own immediate impulse is to come unhinged and run amok, not the best plan to be sure!

Sorry to hear this happen to your wife, it would have been devastating and surreal. I hope they make a formal apology to Jill, that is the least they could do.

QuoteIt's very horrible that the stereotype of a trans person is "crazy and dangerous" but sadly that's the expectation of many people

I've had first hand experience with this kind of thinking too. Ugh!

I hope she wrote down their names. She needs to contact the UCLA so that they do not repeat this to other people.

Make sure she calls her local UCLA branch and make sure she calls her local GLAAD branch.

If she doesn't want to do it, make sure she still does it for those who goes and gets this done in the future

She is doing ALL of these things!! Which I am super proud of her holding whatever dignity she had left.. She put a complaint to the UCLA, Transgender, & Nevada Equal Rights Commission.. I believe a few more as well.. Our therapist is an amazing activists for the Transgender group in Nevada.. She had ALOT to do with the new law placed in Nevada for Anti Discrimination of Transexuals (Effective Oct. 2011) So we are under wonderful guidance.. Our therapist is a tough ass cookie and knows her pull around the Vegas valley!!!!! We recorded EVERYTHING!!! Thank you everyone for your support and Jill has pulled out of this rather nicely.... I am proud of her....

that's awesome to hear!

Im sorry if I sounded a little too "forceful" a few hours ago...Im passing three kidney stones and Im pretty grumpy!

Quote from: Slanan on February 03, 2012, 03:50:45 PM

If you interact with them, you need to be careful to not do anything that could be misconstrued as threatening, violent, or overly disruptive. 

Yes be VERY careful. Something like this happened to a friend, they said something like "One day someone isn't gonna be as calm as I was and they are gonna get hurt". My friend got hauled off to jail for felony terroristic threat. Even something like "They were lucky I didn't kick their ass" would probably trigger it.

Got to love that US Patriot Act. Security personel can be threatening, billigerent asses and when you give them a taste of their own medicine you're arrested for making terrorist threats.

Quote from: moondog on February 10, 2012, 10:00:29 AM
Got to love that US Patriot Act. Security personel can be threatening, billigerent asses and when you give them a taste of their own medicine you're arrested for making terrorist threats.

Invariably it's always the bullies who seem to find their way into the enforcement end of that sort of business. It's an opportunity to abuse others legally and get away with it.

Quote from: qUiRkY qUeEn on February 03, 2012, 05:42:11 PM
She is doing ALL of these things!! Which I am super proud of her holding whatever dignity she had left.. She put a complaint to the UCLA, Transgender, & Nevada Equal Rights Commission.. I believe a few more as well.. We recorded EVERYTHING!!! Thank you everyone for your support and Jill has pulled out of this rather nicely.... I am proud of her.....

It's a wonderful thing to have a sweetheart like you for her partner being so loving, supportive and proud of her! Perhaps you'll give us all an update on the outcome as things unfold? ((((hugs)))) to you both!

I smell a $20,000 shut up and go away out of court settlement here

Quote from: moondog on February 10, 2012, 10:00:29 AM
Got to love that US Patriot Act. Security personel can be threatening, billigerent asses and when you give them a taste of their own medicine you're arrested for making terrorist threats.

Have you even read the USA Patriot Act?  ::)

I swear, I think the only reason that the Police Officer was nice to me after pulling me over last night as I drove my shiny new Minivan was because he was pretty young, not bad looking either, and because Seymour is kind of redneck country. I wonder if he was confused by my driver's licence since it had my old name on it.

I'd even be looking at a charge of Wrongful Arrest.  Especially if they were not actually Police.  Having been in a local Force for 30 years, I have no respect for amateurs.  Too many of them everywhere in my opinion.

Karen.

Quote from: justmeinoz on February 13, 2012, 05:02:12 AM
I'd even be looking at a charge of Wrongful Arrest.  Especially if they were not actually Police.  Having been in a local Force for 30 years, I have no respect for amateurs.  Too many of them everywhere in my opinion.

Karen.

Definitely! I'll bet these people joined up so they could abuse people and hide behind a Police badge.  Nowadays, 'To protect and serve' has gone to the wayside in favor of making money for the government.

I may be a bit jaded, but to me the meaning of, "To Protect And Serve" has always seemed to be more about the state or municipal system and those that run it as opposed to you and me. Just like, "Of the people, by the people and for the people." In reality they are referring to a select group of people. There was a time when one had to be a white, male property owner in order to vote. Guess that concept by itself speaks volumes!

Quote from: justmeinoz on February 13, 2012, 05:02:12 AM
I'd even be looking at a charge of Wrongful Arrest.  Especially if they were not actually Police.  Having been in a local Force for 30 years, I have no respect for amateurs.  Too many of them everywhere in my opinion.

Karen.

Social Security Police Officers have full authority to arrest someone. I am not saying what they did was right, but you wouldn't be able to fight them based on an issue that they had no right to arrest anyone. Also, they aren't amateurs. They go through a Federal Police Academy that makes a State Police Academy look like those cheesy 80 movies, "Police Academy."

I was a police officer for awhile as well. In the U.S (except for North Carolina)., any citizen can technically make an arrest as long as they do it within the confines of local, state, and federal law. The reason why Cops do it more is because we are protected by the State Prosecutor in the event the offender sues for an unlawful arrest. A citizen isn't afforded with a 24/7 fully paid for lawyer.

We are still in the inner workings of this case that occured at the SS office, We have filled out every complaint form there is!! So we are awaiting actions to be made!!! It could be a while this I am sure of. I am really proud of Jill for gathering herself and pullinf forward!!! We will prevail and get our justice one way or another!! It is just one thing after another with ignorant folks!!! We are not letting anyone down!! if she is misgendered we r correcting folks, if she is harrased (which happened on her jobsite) she is complaining.. People NEED to become education on the proper respect for trans folks.. period!!!!! So that is our mind set... thank you girls for your coninued support.. it is a tuff world out there, but we can climb out of this!!!

Quote from: Annah on February 15, 2012, 03:43:13 AM
Social Security Police Officers have full authority to arrest someone. I am not saying what they did was right, but you wouldn't be able to fight them based on an issue that they had no right to arrest anyone. Also, they aren't amateurs. They go through a Federal Police Academy that makes a State Police Academy look like those cheesy 80 movies, "Police Academy."

And there's the rub.  They are Federal officers, therefore you would have to sue in federal court... if the government gives you permission to sue.  In essence you're suing the government of the United States in their court and with their judges. If they allow you to.  Good luck finding a lawyer to take the case.

Quote from: qUiRkY qUeEn on February 27, 2012, 11:56:39 PM
People NEED to become education on the proper respect for trans folks.. period!!!!!

+1 on that!