Community Conversation => Significant Others talk => Topic started by: haleesue on February 09, 2012, 09:29:38 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Adoption...
Post by: haleesue on February 09, 2012, 09:29:38 PM
Post by: haleesue on February 09, 2012, 09:29:38 PM
Hello! I'm new here, so I guess a little introduction is to be said. I'm a SO of the most beautiful girl in the world, Jackie, who is (thankfully) going to be going through HRT in the next month. We are engaged and plan on getting married in the next year or so. We are so very happy together!
The trouble is, with her starting HRT quite soon, we most likely won't be able to have our own children. I haven't even finished my freshman year of college yet, and with finances being poopy, it's unfeasible to have a child before she starts HRT, or even a year or two after. It's causing us a lot of pain, because we've discussed having children and we have both agreed that we want them very, very, badly. Sperm banking and in vitro fertilization are also unlikely options, since we are both artists and probably won't make enough money to afford that. So, our only option is to adopt in five or ten years. I'm wondering what some other people's experiences have been with adoption and raising children with a trans partner? Is it selfish of me to be sad over the fact that we won't have our own biological children?
The trouble is, with her starting HRT quite soon, we most likely won't be able to have our own children. I haven't even finished my freshman year of college yet, and with finances being poopy, it's unfeasible to have a child before she starts HRT, or even a year or two after. It's causing us a lot of pain, because we've discussed having children and we have both agreed that we want them very, very, badly. Sperm banking and in vitro fertilization are also unlikely options, since we are both artists and probably won't make enough money to afford that. So, our only option is to adopt in five or ten years. I'm wondering what some other people's experiences have been with adoption and raising children with a trans partner? Is it selfish of me to be sad over the fact that we won't have our own biological children?
Title: Re: Adoption...
Post by: JackieOD on February 09, 2012, 11:16:15 PM
Post by: JackieOD on February 09, 2012, 11:16:15 PM
Sperm banking is between $50-$150 dollars per year and in vitro fertilization is between $10,000 and $16,000. It's a do-able alternative if you can save! :D
Title: Re: Adoption...
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on February 10, 2012, 01:10:58 AM
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on February 10, 2012, 01:10:58 AM
lol, the reality is that everyone is selfish Haleesue. Wanting to adopt is great, but don't let strangers on the internet make you feel like less of a good person because you want biological kids. It's your decisions, you should be able to do whatever you want to do in your life.
Title: Re: Adoption...
Post by: Cindy on February 10, 2012, 01:17:37 AM
Post by: Cindy on February 10, 2012, 01:17:37 AM
It is totally none selfish to want to have your own biological children. You sound a great person who is an amazing partner. I hope you can do some sperm banking and one day you can both raise your children as the beautiful people you both are.
Hugs
Cindy
Hugs
Cindy
Title: Re: Adoption...
Post by: JenJen2011 on February 10, 2012, 08:25:40 AM
Post by: JenJen2011 on February 10, 2012, 08:25:40 AM
No, it's not selfish at all. I'm MTF and I wish I could have my own biological child. It wouldn't be with my SO though because he's a man. I know adoption is an option but I have no interest in that.
Even though your partner is starting HRT soon, you guys still might be able to procreate in a few years if she stops HRT for a little while. I don't know for certain though. I'm probably wrong.
Even though your partner is starting HRT soon, you guys still might be able to procreate in a few years if she stops HRT for a little while. I don't know for certain though. I'm probably wrong.
Title: Re: Adoption...
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on February 10, 2012, 02:27:00 PM
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on February 10, 2012, 02:27:00 PM
Being on HRT for around 6 months will cause permanent sterility, that only applies if it's within that period of 6 months.
Title: Re: Adoption...
Post by: haleesue on February 10, 2012, 07:43:47 PM
Post by: haleesue on February 10, 2012, 07:43:47 PM
Thank you everyone! I was doing some more research on in vitro fertilization and found that it is affordable. Someone had told us that it ran above $40,000 lol! We are going to look into sperm banking clinics in the area very soon.