Susan's Place Transgender Resources

anyone else get this?  it's pretty frustrating... it's happened a few times now, mostly when someone comes to the door.  i get 'mistaken' for a second for a guy, like the delivery man will say 'alright mate', then double take and apologise, and i'm there thinking, goddamn it.  don't apologise.  don't correct yourself... i usually grin but i can feel myself deflate a bit.  i guess at least i'm passing for a second?  maybe it's when i talk.

All the time.
Particularly on the phone. Is this Ms James, Oh sorry sir. Phone gets put down. Does anyway for those calls.

But I did have a nice one tonight. It was to discuss my credentials for a loan. I'm now a MtF called Roger who is a banker with an income of $450,00, own my own house and have several properties, and no my mobile phone is private. Sadly I gave the wrong address for them to visit.  1 Lion Drive Frome Rd Adelaide. (It is the zoo >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-))

Oh to be so petty

Cindy

Sorry,

I don't mean this anyway than it comes out.

If that is you in your avatar you are one really good looking guy :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed:

Cindy

it dosent happent that often anymore, more the other way that I or people correct themself that im a guy. But year it diffently frustratating.
remember when I where small I got to have my hair cut my mom said she didnt want me to have it too short cause I shouldnt look like a boy.
when I got there the hairdresser took alot of women before me and my mom got angry and said "exuse me we have been waiting longer"
him "yeah but I only take the girls my asistent is the one doing the boys hair"

my mom got pretty angry and corrected him that I where a girl. pretty akward moment but funny to think about.. cause she where so scared of me being mistaked for a boy with short hair.. LOL

lol yeah cindy it's me.... i've been getting a lot of compliments recently, which is weird.  it's nice, just not used to it. 

Aye, I've gotten that a few times.
Although, the other day, I got corrected the other way which was very pleasant.
"Miss, Miss!" *I turn and customer stops to stare* "Oh...Sir, sorry,"
That was very pleasant indeed.
I'm sure that you'll pass full time soon enough and then there won't be any more correcting,
Don't let it bother you too much.

man, i couldn't deal with that.  i'd end up seriously falling out with him.  yknow, if i hadn't already.

Quote from: Logan Erik on February 13, 2012, 03:05:32 PM
I have indeed.  For better or for worse all it took to cut all ties with him was... well, nothing.  He has no real interest in being my dad.

I am really sorry about how your dad is...I haven't spoken to my dad over 6 months. (With the exception of the EXTREMELY short conversation we had on the phone a while back. It was basically the last time I spoke to him and I know it will be the last time I communicate with him probably forever.) He treated me like a piece of crap. He started making up lies and what not. He blamed my family for a bunch of things and said they would pay. I told him to forget it. We basically don't have a relationship anymore. We were never close and I'm okay with this. I guess I should care that I'll never have a relationship with my father but honestly, it's something I have accepted and don't really care about.

As long as you have someone to talk to and love and accept you, blood doesn't matter.

mmh, another in the ->-bleeped-<-ty dad party.  i haven't spoken to mine for twelve years.  no idea how he'd react to the transgender stuff. 

Quote from: schism on February 13, 2012, 03:15:56 PM
mmh, another in the ->-bleeped-<-ty dad party.  i haven't spoken to mine for twelve years.  no idea how he'd react to the transgender stuff. 

I haven't seen mine in person for almost 10 years now. That's why we were put on this earth though!!! TO SHOW THAT MEN AREN'T ALL A-HOLES! lol And we CAN be fantastic fathers. ^_^

yeah... though i love it when some girl starts complaining about men to you like you're going to go ahead and agree with them, or that you're somehow exempt from the majority, because that clearly screams that they don't include you with the 'real men'.  my sister is pretty bad for that.  when she's saying something like all men are idiots or stupid or ->-bleeped-<-s, i'm there wondering if i should say something like, 'so i'm an ->-bleeped-<-?', except i know she's gonna come out with something like, 'but you're different' or 'you're not a guy like that', which i don't want to hear.  next time i'm gonna agree.  yeah, we're all insensitive pricks. 

Quote from: schism on February 13, 2012, 03:36:05 PM
yeah... though i love it when some girl starts complaining about men to you like you're going to go ahead and agree with them, or that you're somehow exempt from the majority, because that clearly screams that they don't include you with the 'real men'.  my sister is pretty bad for that.  when she's saying something like all men are idiots or stupid or ->-bleeped-<-s, i'm there wondering if i should say something like, 'so i'm an ->-bleeped-<-?', except i know she's gonna come out with something like, 'but you're different' or 'you're not a guy like that', which i don't want to hear.  next time i'm gonna agree.  yeah, we're all insensitive pricks.

My response to this is that having a penis doesn't necessarily make someone a d*ck.
Same thing for not having a penis.

:P

Quote from: Cindy James on February 13, 2012, 07:02:39 AMIf that is you in your avatar you are one really good looking guy :embarrassed:

What she said.
/me blushes

Quote from: Cindy James on February 13, 2012, 06:59:45 AM
All the time.
Particularly on the phone. Is this Ms James, Oh sorry sir. Phone gets put down. Does anyway for those calls.

But I did have a nice one tonight. It was to discuss my credentials for a loan. I'm now a MtF called Roger who is a banker with an income of $450,00, own my own house and have several properties, and no my mobile phone is private. Sadly I gave the wrong address for them to visit.  1 Lion Drive Frome Rd Adelaide. (It is the zoo >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-))

Oh to be so petty

Cindy

This is hilarious. In the same vein, I'm a rocket surgeon on LinkedIn. I was trying to get my dad's email address and it kept telling me I had to have an account. I work at OHSU. Very prestigious position. :laugh:

Quote from: Logan Erik on February 13, 2012, 02:22:23 PM
The worst is when you pass and someone you're with yells, 'THAT'S A GIRL dumb->-bleeped-<-' or something. :icon_zombie:

My dad is a homophobic, transphobic, most-things-phobic, self-righteous preacher. yeah.  He cannot stand it when I pass.  He really gets steamed and 'corrects' loudly and will initiate fun little discussions over the next week about when I was born and learning he had cough a daughter and about walking me down the aisle and eeeeyeah.  Reassuring me that of course he doesn't think I'm a man. :icon_omfg:

Oh my god Logan. I'm sorry. What a bastard. How people can treat their own children like this is completely beyond me. Generally what I've noticed with people though is the more cruelly they treat you the more boiling misery and confusion they've got hidden. Not counting some of the more sociopathic individuals out there, of course. Digressing. Logan stay away from your dad. He's not nice.

Quote from: schism on February 13, 2012, 04:42:18 AM
anyone else get this?  it's pretty frustrating... it's happened a few times now, mostly when someone comes to the door.  i get 'mistaken' for a second for a guy, like the delivery man will say 'alright mate', then double take and apologise, and i'm there thinking, goddamn it.  don't apologise.  don't correct yourself... i usually grin but i can feel myself deflate a bit.  i guess at least i'm passing for a second?  maybe it's when i talk.

YES. Not much lately, but there was like half a year where it was like people flipped a coin in their heads before gendering me, and half the time they'd look closer and apologize, changing their mind about what I was. In either direction. Grr.

Quote from: Felix on February 14, 2012, 11:21:07 PM
This is hilarious. In the same vein, I'm a rocket surgeon on LinkedIn. I was trying to get my dad's email address and it kept telling me I had to have an account. I work at OHSU. Very prestigious position. :laugh:
Oh my god Logan. I'm sorry. What a bastard. How people can treat their own children like this is completely beyond me. Generally what I've noticed with people though is the more cruelly they treat you the more boiling misery and confusion they've got hidden. Not counting some of the more sociopathic individuals out there, of course. Digressing. Logan stay away from your dad. He's not nice.
YES. Not much lately, but there was like half a year where it was like people flipped a coin in their heads before gendering me, and half the time they'd look closer and apologize, changing their mind about what I was. In either direction. Grr.

You're a rocket surgeon?

Quote from: Beth Andrea on February 15, 2012, 12:02:43 AM
You're a rocket surgeon?

Hell yeah I'm a rocket surgeon. The best. ;D

Quote from: Logan Erik on February 15, 2012, 12:07:43 AM
He's scary actually.  Even when he's being as nice and sweet as he can pretend to be you're on edge waiting for the bomb to go off.  When he was actually around us (until my big brother was four) he couldn't handle what a stubborn, handful-and-a-half little craphead my big brother was and all he could figure out to do was beat the ->-bleeped-<- out of him.  Ay, ya, I'm a couple states away from him and I still get nervous paranoid jitters sometimes about him.  Sorry for the rather depressing tangent I started on your topic, schism.

Rocket surgeon indeed. :D

Good good good. I'm glad he's not around you.

I'm. Only in the stage of transition where people will look at me, and you can see the cogs turning trying to figure out what I am, I take it as a compliment because they aren't writing me off as female straight away :p

On the other hand it sucks :/

What I REALLY need is a name tag, so my fiances mother will get it eventually. The old bitty goes berserk when people correct her :/ but to be fair she doesn't make any effort, and if I annoy her in anyway she'll be like "keep it up and I'll keep calling you hailey" (my old name) it takes all my strength to not say "you do anyway, go neck yourself" she's actually the only one I have trouble with  >:(


Got harassed by my bank this morning for my super girl voice, cos I got my name changed "early" that was an awkward 10mins
Sorry went off on a tangent there

Quote from: Logan Erik on February 13, 2012, 02:22:23 PM
The worst is when you pass and someone you're with yells, 'THAT'S A GIRL dumb->-bleeped-<-' or something.

^  :icon_eek: THIS!

Also, funny and slightly relevant story, after I came out to my Dad, he told me he had known all along, didn't mind, etc. then once I left his house, he called my Mum and said "I gave Morgan my full support blah blah blah, but just clear something up for me, what's the difference between trans..gender? And being a lesbian?" :D

Quote from: Logan Erik on February 15, 2012, 12:07:43 AM
Sorry for the rather depressing tangent I started on your topic, schism.

tangent away.  i'm pretty laid back, i really don't mind what people chat about on my threads.

Quote from: Morgan. on February 15, 2012, 01:26:42 AM
Also, funny and slightly relevant story, after I came out to my Dad, he told me he had known all along, didn't mind, etc. then once I left his house, he called my Mum and said "I gave Morgan my full support blah blah blah, but just clear something up for me, what's the difference between trans..gender? And being a lesbian?" :D

lol -facepalm-

I'm so relieved that someone else experiences the 'corrections' phenomenon.  I'm in a vast, un-navigable gender no man's land at the moment, lol.  I'm being peppered with machine gun fire and I only have a small wooden stick.  It's a toss up whether any one person I encounter is going to think I'm male or female, and all too often, they start off completely confident that I'm male, then hear my voice, and then the whole encounter dissolves into a stinking swamp of embarrassment, awkwardness, apology, outrage or confusion.

I'm experiencing awkward gender-related social encounters so frequently nowadays that I've divided them into four categories.  For ease of... something.

1. The Swift Renege.
2. The How Dare You?
3. The My God I'm So Sorry.
4. The I Never Really Thought You Were a Man Anyway.
5. The Wait a Minute...

1.  The Swift Renege.

I meet someone new.  They say,

'Alright, Mate?'

I say,

'Alright, Mate?' and do my manly, manly handshake.

Their eyes widen at my voice, they squint at me and they say,

'So nice to meet you, Darling.'

I punch them in the face.  No.  No.  I don't really.

2.  The How Dare You?

An elderly lady comes up to me (let us say while I'm at work) and says, 'Oh, let's go to this nice young man.  He has a lovely face.'

I smile and say,

'Welcome to (*the leisure establishment where I work that would kill me if I mentioned their name online*).  Thank you for the compliment on my face, by the way.'

She looks at me more closely and says,

'ARE you a young man?  Or a young woman?'

I shrug.

She looks at me as though I've run over her cat, and says,

'You just can't tell nowadays.'  Her tone holds a note of outrage that I have interrupted the smooth flow of social ritual in her day.

I punch her in the face.

No.  No.  I don't really.

3.  The My God I'm So Sorry.

I stupidly agree to go into the roughest pub in town with my cis female friend, because it's her favourite drinking establishment.  Foolish.  Foolish.  But enough self-flagellation.  A large, burly, bulging man comes over, greets my friend warmly and begins conversing animatedly with her.  He is only aware of me peripherally, though when he does address me he does so as 'Mate.'  He asks me whether I am my friend's boyfriend.  'No no,' I say, 'We're just friends.'  He doesn't appear to believe me, and keeps imploring me to 'Look after her.'  Eventually I assure him I will.  Though I won't really.  After about half an hour, the moment finally comes when my friend addresses me by my birth name.  Burly Guy begins to look confused.  The Truth comes out, and there is an awful, horrendous, frightening moment of complete silence.  A flabbergasted look washes over Burly Guy's face.  Almost exactly as though I've just run over his cat.

He says,

'But...  no.   You mean... No.  But...  What?   No.'

I fear he might be about to hyperventilate, so I offer to buy him a drink.

'But...' he says, 'No.  What?  Wait... No.'

And then,

'Oh my God.  I'm so sorry.  I'm so, so sorry.  I got it completely wrong.  I was so wrong.  So wrong.'

'It's fine,' I assure him.  'Really, it's fine.' 

I have a small out of body experience and realise that I'm comforting a huge intimidating man on the verge of a nervous breakdown because I've just shattered all of his assumptions regarding gender.

So I punch him in the face instead.  No.  No.  Honestly.  I'm not a violent person.

5. The I Never Really Thought You Were a Man Anyway

I am getting a taxi with my Gran, who uses a wheelchair.  As we're getting in, he refers to me as 'he' and lets me fold the wheelchair and lift it into the boot all by myself.  During the taxi ride, he hears my voice when I talk to my Gran.  When we get out, he leaps around to the boot before me, yelps, 'I'll get this, darling,' and whips the chair out before I can even touch it.

I honestly don't punch him in the face.

6. The Wait a Minute...

I am shopping for Blues Improvisation piano sheet music because I want to be Hugh Laurie, and I have bought the hat and everything.  The shopkeeper says, 'Are you alright there, Sir?'

'Why yes,' I say.  'I'm just browsing for blues improvisation sheet music because I want to be Hugh Laurie.'

'Oh,' he says.  'Is it... is it "Sir?"'

'Yes,' I say.  'Yes, yes it is, "Sir."'

'Okay,' he says.  His tone says, 'I don't think it IS "Sir."  But if it pleases you to believe it, you may have your fantasy.'

I punch him in the face.

I really did this time.

No.  No.  I didn't.  I have never punched anyone in the face.  I'm a peacable and non-threatening person.

Oh my god I love you Clive. :laugh:

Improvisation Sheet Music sounds like it should be an oxymoron.   :laugh:

Don't forget the reverse correction:

You're working at an amusement park (I use that example because I do in the summer) and a family comes up.

The mom says "She'll help you get on"

The little kid says defiantly "You mean HE will help me"

The mom says "whatever" to the kid then looks at you apologetically as the kid goes merrily on his way completely unfazed.

You pat the kid on the head and punch the mom in the face (well, actually you put on your best "kids say the darndest things" smile and look "knowingly" back at the mom because you have such excellent guest service).

Quote from: Felix on February 15, 2012, 05:53:49 PM
Oh my god I love you Clive. :laugh:

LOL!  Right back atcha!  You know, Felix, at the risk of sucking you into a mutual appreciation... erm...  situation, you are very funny and incredibly adorable! ;D

Quote from: Devin87 on February 15, 2012, 10:00:21 PM
Improvisation Sheet Music sounds like it should be an oxymoron.   :laugh:

Mwehehe, this is true!  I have no idea what I meant by that.  It might've been why my search was fruitless :D  I suppose I meant blues improvisation technique guides.  Like riffs, etc. :D

Quote from: Devin87 on February 15, 2012, 10:08:41 PM
Don't forget the reverse correction:

You're working at an amusement park (I use that example because I do in the summer) and a family comes up.

The mom says "She'll help you get on"

The little kid says defiantly "You mean HE will help me"

The mom says "whatever" to the kid then looks at you apologetically as the kid goes merrily on his way completely unfazed.

You pat the kid on the head and punch the mom in the face (well, actually you put on your best "kids say the darndest things" smile and look "knowingly" back at the mom because you have such excellent guest service).

Oh, this one's great!  I don't interact with many children, so I haven't experienced this one myself.  Though I do feel that children pick up on one's real, felt gender far more instinctively.  Not as much social conditioning to get in the way, I suppose! :D