Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I have been to other counselors before. I know what to expect. This lady knows NOTHING about trans people. She admits it. She wants to force me to go to the frekin GsA and make me drive over 2 hours to a trans support group. Neither of which I feel compelled to do. Apart from that, before I even sit down, she says "this transition is going to take longer than you want". Sweet! She then asks me for a timeline of how I see things. I told her I can't give her one since I don't even know when I can start on T. But I give and I tell her before I graduate in two years. She basically looks at me like "That ain't gonna happen". She wants to use me. I feel like a frekin experiment to her. I can tell she doesn't want to help. She told me to look over the new Harry Benjamin laws. Guess what? There is no specified tjme for therapy. So I pointed this out to her. She is like "yeah I briefly looke over it"...like wow. Whatever. I told my mom and she said that's it. She is taking me somewhere else. Maybe I am overreacting. But every time I go to her, I cry afterwards. She makes me feel trapped. She doesn't give ME a timeline. She doesn't help me. She talked about the most irrelevant insignificant thing today. And se compared me waitin for t like her waiting for weightless vitamins 2 weeks.

She sounds like a complete crock. You're right to go somewhere else. I hope you can find someone better. Hang in there man.

Don't bother with people who make it known they are not going to help you in a timely fashion. If you have to go back, tell her flat out she is not helping you and that you are taking your money and time elsewhere.

Thank you guys so much for the support! It is nice to see im not crazy. The good thing is I'm not paying we. She is a counselor at my university. She is a complete idiot. She wasted my time talking about how she shoved her way in front of me in the elevator because women go first and that is your gender role...

Wow she's a prick.  At least your mom is going to take you somewhere else.  Good for her!

Quote from: Malachite on February 15, 2012, 11:38:31 AM
Wow she's a prick.  At least your mom is going to take you somewhere else.  Good for her!

Seconded. Ugh, so many stories here of inept therapists lately... such a shame. Glad you'll have the chance to find someone who can actually help!

Again! Thanks for the support! I'm at school but all these comment are so encouraging.

I had sort of the same thing with a counselor at my school, but at least he was a supportive person to vent to.  If you're not even getting that then it's a waste of time.  Glad to hear you're finding someone new.

You need to find someone who isn't going to come into the deal ready to bar the gates and keep you from transitioning.  While I understand the need for you to recognise that transition is a years-long process, she shouldn't be making some of the comments she's made.  You need to feel comfortable with a therapist and their job is to help you, not hold you back and damage you.

Yeah I've had a few idiots like that. One of my counsellors at school told me to make a timeline once... I can barely see 5 minutes into the future and he wants me to go about 5 years into it? It's good you're getting rid of her, you deserve much better, someone who actually has a clue about what you're going through. You'll eventually get to where you need to be, there is just no planned out timeline to get there. It really depends on how motivated you are to find somebody to aid you in your transition, and of course, chance. I was so determined to get T I never stopped trying and about a year after my first appointment with a bunch of quacks at a place with so called gender specialists, I was on T.

You are her patient, and she's supposed to HELP you. If she's not helping, she's not worth having. You can transition at your own pace. Some things can take longer than others, but if you're able to keep at it and advocate for yourself, it's not impossible to get the things you need done. There are much better therapists out there who won't keep you from making progress.

Yeah I didn't have a definite timeline when I started, and I still don't. That would require way more knowledge of the future than I have, not being clairvoyant. I have goals, and I gauge my progress and recalibrate along the way. It works fine.

Your therapist doesn't sound very therapeautic for you.

It shouldn't be her saying "this transition is going to take longer than you want it to", it should be "what support can I give you to help you get where you'd like to be". A person who is providing a service like counseling should not be constantly addressing negative aspects and pushing your goal further and further away, they should be working WITH you to get your desired outcome as smoothly and healthily as possible, which she is obviously NOT doing. Definitely find another counselor, Nick. This one sounds like a fool.