Community Conversation => Transitioning => Passing => Topic started by: CelestaT on February 21, 2012, 12:25:40 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: CelestaT on February 21, 2012, 12:25:40 PM
Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated, and you'd have my thanks, more than I could possibly express.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi44.tinypic.com%2Ffyo7e0.jpg&hash=3e4156a0ae1170b957170f5d72d4a0e7ff7aedc9)
My camera's being weird. That shirt is purple. I don't know what's going on.
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: CelestaT on February 21, 2012, 12:45:42 PM
Slightly better picture...PRESENTED IN MYSPACE-O-VISION!!
(It's like you're really in 2006)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi39.tinypic.com%2F316votd.jpg&hash=67df9922938f6fe7430c0f967171f213ff652dd4)
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: CelestaT on February 21, 2012, 01:02:27 PM
I don't know, I sing Tenor  ???

I don't think I have that great of posture.

And hair only grows so fast  :(
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Annah on February 21, 2012, 01:03:30 PM
These are some things I did (in order):

1. Lost weight (you seem fine with that)
2. Grew my hair out (0.5 inches a month)
3. Saw a therapist to help me sort all of this stuff out.
4. Went to large social gatherings and paid increased attention to how women walked, talked, body language, speech, reflections.
5. Took vocal and voice lessons
6. Learned makeup tips from various people, websites, video tutorials
7. Went onto HRT within 2 moths of therapy (this helped me physically and mentally a lot)
8. Practiced, practiced, practiced, the natural movements of a woman without looking like a gay effeminate man.
9. Practiced, practiced, practiced, the natural vocal intonations of a woman without sounding like a gay effeminate man.
10. Studied up on Fashion. Mainly on the DON'TS of fashion

I also created a timeline of a video to show the changes...ill post it here for you to see how the changes were made. Good luck!

Annah Hinman: Transition Video from male to female. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3z87yt6tgc#)
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: CelestaT on February 21, 2012, 01:15:01 PM
I'm starting hormones soon and transferring to another university in the fall, I'd like to take that opportunity to start living as a woman.
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Bird on February 21, 2012, 01:59:36 PM
Celesta

I think voice training is very important. When I was in the "not quite there" phase, my voice helped me pass. You should begin training now if you haven't.
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Stephanie.Izann on March 21, 2012, 04:38:15 PM
Quote from: Annah on February 21, 2012, 01:03:30 PM
These are some things I did (in order):

1. Lost weight (you seem fine with that)
2. Grew my hair out (0.5 inches a month)
3. Saw a therapist to help me sort all of this stuff out.
4. Went to large social gatherings and paid increased attention to how women walked, talked, body language, speech, reflections.
5. Took vocal and voice lessons
6. Learned makeup tips from various people, websites, video tutorials
7. Went onto HRT within 2 moths of therapy (this helped me physically and mentally a lot)
8. Practiced, practiced, practiced, the natural movements of a woman without looking like a gay effeminate man.
9. Practiced, practiced, practiced, the natural vocal intonations of a woman without sounding like a gay effeminate man.
10. Studied up on Fashion. Mainly on the DON'TS of fashion

I also created a timeline of a video to show the changes...ill post it here for you to see how the changes were made. Good luck!

Annah Hinman: Transition Video from male to female. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3z87yt6tgc#)


ANNA I have been following your posts on and off and I have to say you always give the new girls such great advice.  Eventhough I am a few months from going full time (HRT for over a year) I also take in what you say. Keep it up for all of us.  :)
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Annah on March 25, 2012, 11:26:59 PM
thanks, Stephanie. That means a lot to me :)
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Jamie D on March 26, 2012, 03:09:58 AM
Good luck Celesta!

Sweet video Annah.
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: justmeinoz on March 26, 2012, 06:34:11 AM
I think Annah has covered things pretty well.

I would add laser facial hair removal, depending on your complexion and hair colour, and until you can retrain your voice, lowering your volume a tiny bit to take the edge of it  helps a lot.
Smiling and looking confident helps put people at ease and more ready to accept you at first sight.
With make-up, less is definitely more too.

Oh, and have fun girl!

Karen.
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Stephe on March 26, 2012, 08:00:52 AM
Quote from: Annah on February 21, 2012, 01:03:30 PM
These are some things I did (in order):

1. Lost weight (you seem fine with that)
2. Grew my hair out (0.5 inches a month)
3. Saw a therapist to help me sort all of this stuff out.
4. Went to large social gatherings and paid increased attention to how women walked, talked, body language, speech, reflections.
5. Took vocal and voice lessons
6. Learned makeup tips from various people, websites, video tutorials
7. Went onto HRT within 2 moths of therapy (this helped me physically and mentally a lot)
8. Practiced, practiced, practiced, the natural movements of a woman without looking like a gay effeminate man.
9. Practiced, practiced, practiced, the natural vocal intonations of a woman without sounding like a gay effeminate man.
10. Studied up on Fashion. Mainly on the DON'TS of fashion



Great list and I did this same order except I did voice later which was a mistake.
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Beverley on March 26, 2012, 08:52:36 AM
It still amazes me how many people neglect their voice training.

:o

Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Annah on March 26, 2012, 12:51:39 PM
Quote from: Beverley on March 26, 2012, 08:52:36 AM
It still amazes me how many people neglect their voice training.

:o

I hear you.

Voice was probably the second most important thing I did for my transition. Therapy being the most important. Everything else (including laser) was secondary to my voice. I wanted to make sure I got my voice down to how I wanted it and how it would properly reflect how I feel.

I always say this, but the most passable girl on the block will be instantly clocked as soon as they say something if they did not work on their voice.

Others will say "no, they wont get immediately clocked...they'll just be a little confused or think the pretty girl has a deep voice like Bea Arthur." Bea Arthur had a deeper voice but her intonation was dead on. And yes, if you haven't practiced your voice you will get clocked. No matter how good you look.
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Stephe on March 26, 2012, 01:14:04 PM
Quote from: Annah on March 26, 2012, 12:51:39 PM
Others will say "no, they wont get immediately clocked...they'll just be a little confused or think the pretty girl has a deep voice like Bea Arthur." Bea Arthur had a deeper voice but her intonation was dead on. And yes, if you haven't practiced your voice you will get clocked. No matter how good you look.


Yep. I had what I thought was a sort OK voice for a casual "hello" but it really wasn't. The biggest mistake I made in my transition was dealing with my voice after I was living full time.

IMHO voice is so much more important that even HRT, yet most trans people ignore it. Yes it IS a lot of work, it's more than remembering to take a pill twice a day. But it will make more difference than most of the other things people do to transition. I seriously think most people could learn some decent makeup, fem their hair, get some self confidence and then get a great female voice and pass 99% of the time doing nothing else.

Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: xxUltraModLadyxx on March 27, 2012, 05:46:26 PM
Quote from: CelestaT on February 21, 2012, 12:45:42 PM
Slightly better picture...PRESENTED IN MYSPACE-O-VISION!!
(It's like you're really in 2006)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi39.tinypic.com%2F316votd.jpg&hash=67df9922938f6fe7430c0f967171f213ff652dd4)

from the picture you showed, i'll just start with, remove the watch, and you're already androgynous. you want to efface anything masculine first and foremost, and then add on feminine qualities. i can see your skin texture is more coarse like a male's, but with estrogen, it should become smooth and supple. you would also have breast growth and fat redistribution, which is very important. it's important to have the silhouette of a woman. also, finding some more feminine clothing and accessories are bonus points. you just kind of have to experiment around with it until you find yourself in the process, which is what i found.
also, voice is very important. i agree with what some others said before. there is a saying that says "the clothes make the man, but the voice makes the woman."
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: peky on March 27, 2012, 06:24:24 PM
Quote from: Bird on February 21, 2012, 01:59:36 PM
Celesta

I think voice training is very important. When I was in the "not quite there" phase, my voice helped me pass. You should begin training now if you haven't.

Do you have a program you can recommend for the "tone" deaf :)
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Amazon D on March 27, 2012, 06:51:17 PM
Quote from: CelestaT on February 21, 2012, 12:25:40 PM
Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated, and you'd have my thanks, more than I could possibly express.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi44.tinypic.com%2Ffyo7e0.jpg&hash=3e4156a0ae1170b957170f5d72d4a0e7ff7aedc9)
My camera's being weird. That shirt is purple. I don't know what's going on.

Well it depends if your driving or playing football or some of the many tossing sports but then yo could be riding a bike or a motorcycle and passing. Its great when women pass others or pass too others because it shows we have the ability to pass as any man might. Hey great question. If your in the car make sure you are legal when passing but if your playing football i hear it ok to do some illegal passes as long as you don't get caught by the umpires. Not sure what else i can offer. You need to be more specific with the passing question.
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Amazon D on March 27, 2012, 06:53:17 PM
Ohhhh passing as a woman / female opps  :embarrassed:

listen to Annah  ;D
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: xxUltraModLadyxx on March 29, 2012, 06:52:10 PM
Quote from: Amazon D on March 27, 2012, 06:51:17 PM
Well it depends if your driving or playing football or some of the many tossing sports but then yo could be riding a bike or a motorcycle and passing. Its great when women pass others or pass too others because it shows we have the ability to pass as any man might. Hey great question. If your in the car make sure you are legal when passing but if your playing football i hear it ok to do some illegal passes as long as you don't get caught by the umpires. Not sure what else i can offer. You need to be more specific with the passing question.

playing american football is probably the worst thing an mtf can do in terms of trying to be more feminine  :icon_giggle:
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Lyric on March 29, 2012, 11:02:35 PM
I've never liked the term you used "pass as a woman". It sounds an awful lot like "pretend to be a woman" or "fool people into thinking you're a woman". If you truly want to be considered a woman, your internal mindset about this is the best place to start. The first and foremost thing would be to convince yourself and know that you actually are a woman. I won't say the behavioral details Annah mentions aren't important, but they're much less important than the internal stuff. If someone truly feels like a women, they're going to exude a certain sense of femininity from within. In fact, if you can truly get in touch with your own womanhood, it should matter much less what other people think, anyway.

When you feel confident with who you are I think you'll be more likely to say something like "let people see me as the woman I am" rather than that  you want to "pass as a woman". This isn't just semantics. It's important.

Lyric ~
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Stephe on March 30, 2012, 10:28:17 AM
Great point Lyric. I do feel I am a woman and don't sweat if some of the things I do aren't "uber fem" like doing my own home repairs, talking cars with the guys or riding my motorcycle. I enjoy this stuff and if it makes me "less feminine", it doesn't matter because I am still a woman. I'm sure not many women are at the home store buying plumbing fittings or electrical wire, but then I'm not going to not do these things just so i can appear helpless and feminine.
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Beverley on March 30, 2012, 10:31:21 AM
There is a difference between being female and being feminine.

B.
Title: Re: Advice for passing as a woman
Post by: Stephanie.Izann on March 30, 2012, 01:47:24 PM
Quote from: Annah on March 25, 2012, 11:26:59 PM
thanks, Stephanie. That means a lot to me :)

:) HUGS :)