Susan's Place Transgender Resources

My gender dysphoria is in opposition with my personal wants and desires. For instance, I want to be a brother, a father, a husband, and a son. I want to be a businessman. I want to be an alpha-male mma cage fighting warrior. I have a strong male identity and I love being entrenched in male culture.

But the gender dysphoria is SO intense at times, almost insurmountable. When I see a pretty girl, I want, not to have sexual relations with her, but to be her, to have her clothes, to have her body. I have this overwhelming internal desire to be a woman. Wearing girl's clothes and makeup and fantasizing about being a woman brings me such great joy, more powerful than any sensation that I have ever felt. It's so hard to repress innate, primal urges.

I thought that gender dysphoria was something I could rid myself of and I tried for 2 years in therapy to do so. I tried making myself even more of an alpha male. If you've read my other posts, you'll know that I tried everything possible to make life work as a man.

So now that I'm older, I'm mature enough to accept that I can't rid myself of it. But what can I do besides transition? There might not be a cure, but is there at least treatment to make this life any easier?

You could go for therapy. I suppose there are ways you could go for to cope with this. The option of not transitioning is open to all of us, and if you are sure its the path for you, go for it!

I can't give you much, because it is not a option I have went for. I can't even tell you for sure if it is possible to not be dysphoric without transitioning. I believe you should seek a psychiatrist or gender therapist who has a lot of experience in the field, and then go from there. There is not much real evidence about this, no large studies have been made as far as I know, and the current medical opinion is that transitioning is the only way to "cure" people from dysphoria.

This doesn't means you can't find ways to cope with it, though. So, as I said, a Gender Therapist or Psychiatrist are good ways to start. You need to be sure what you have is gender dysphoria in the first place, and there are all kinds of issues that pop up when going through this stuff.

There are forum members who were unable to transition completely for various reasons, and I suppose they could go more in depth about this. I have read that to some crossdressing helps with coping, though it could also lead to depression bolts afterwards. It is a very complicated issue, and it can't be possibly solved by forum conversation only.

Quote from: Bailey's Irish on February 21, 2012, 04:30:44 PM
After being informed of the revision to the WPATH Standards of Care that was released last year, much to my relief, there are now many options available listed under Section V:

As well as the subsection: Options for Psychological and Medical Treatment of Gender Dysphoria. If you read all of Section V, it might give you an idea of where to start (it's only about two and a quarter pages).

Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender, and Gender Nonconforming People (http://www.wpath.org/documents/Standards%20of%20Care%20V7%20-%202011%20WPATH.pdf)

as it should be people should only " transition" as far as they need to to be comfortable , not fit a sociatile norm on what " gender " should be

Quote from: jdinatale on February 21, 2012, 02:34:37 PM
When I see a pretty girl, I want, not to have sexual relations with her, but to be her, to have her clothes, to have her body. I have this overwhelming internal desire to be a woman. Wearing girl's clothes and makeup and fantasizing about being a woman brings me such great joy, more powerful than any sensation that I have ever felt. It's so hard to repress innate, primal urges.

So now that I'm older, I'm mature enough to accept that I can't rid myself of it. But what can I do besides transition? There might not be a cure, but is there at least treatment to make this life any easier?

Well you're certainly not alone here as I can relate completely. I began dealing with this years ago, during that time there was nothing but a one size fits all response from gender counselors. I met with similar group think in TG group meetings. Eventually I struck a happy medium and now self identify as an Androgynous being. I'm still very married and the father of two young men as well as a grandfather of a sweet young woman of 13 who is going on nineteen. It takes a lot of work, love and extreme patience to go this route because much of it has to be done incrementally in small steps. Best bet though is to discuss your feelings with a reputable gender therapist. Good luck!

maybe this could help you: http://www.chrisspagani.com/gender/treatment.htm (http://www.chrisspagani.com/gender/treatment.htm)

Quote from: jdinatale on February 21, 2012, 02:34:37 PM
My gender dysphoria is in opposition with my personal wants and desires. For instance, I want to be a brother, a father, a husband, and a son. I want to be a businessman. I want to be an alpha-male mma cage fighting warrior. I have a strong male identity and I love being entrenched in male culture.

But the gender dysphoria is SO intense at times, almost insurmountable. When I see a pretty girl, I want, not to have sexual relations with her, but to be her, to have her clothes, to have her body. I have this overwhelming internal desire to be a woman. Wearing girl's clothes and makeup and fantasizing about being a woman brings me such great joy, more powerful than any sensation that I have ever felt. It's so hard to repress innate, primal urges.

I thought that gender dysphoria was something I could rid myself of and I tried for 2 years in therapy to do so. I tried making myself even more of an alpha male. If you've read my other posts, you'll know that I tried everything possible to make life work as a man.

So now that I'm older, I'm mature enough to accept that I can't rid myself of it. But what can I do besides transition? There might not be a cure, but is there at least treatment to make this life any easier?

Maybe you need to get rid of the male hormones by taking spiranolactone which will block the T.. that will free your mind from T and allow you to think more clearly.. Take time with that.

Myself i transitioned fast and spent everything only to find ot i hated men being attracted to me.. I now dress down and am seen as a FTM by people who seem curious.

Deal with the hormonal issues and give it time and see what happens. You might find out that is all you need..

I was going to ask something similar to this. I need some way to ease my dysphoria without transitioning. Transitioning is out of the question for me, and completely not worth it. For me. I've detailed the reasons why in the past.

I need relief.

-Real therapy outside a church.
-Some parts of the physical parts of transition (hromones and/or SRS and/or FFS) without changing social roles.
-Going for a mixed gender identity, which they call "queer".
-Androgyny.
-Crossdressing.
-Going drag at times.
-Subtly wearing female attire, either when not seen or under other clothes.
-Did I mention real therapy?

There's no magical pill, and only a real therapist will probably be able to guide you on the way that's right for you.

JD,
  A lot of very good posts above.  You've been asking a lot of questions on this forum the past 3 months, which is good.  It's time to find a therapist that's into GID.  You don't have to tell anybody in your family or friends about this at this time while you get evaluated by the therapist and your doctor on this. 
 
  I did manage to be a good son, grandson, brother, nephew, cousin and uncle these past decades despite my GID.  The best thing is to drop the alpha male bullcrap.  That will only make matters worse.  You don't have to be an Oskar Milquetoast either.  Just be yourself.
  Joelene

Hello JD,

As Joelene said, there's a lot of good advice above.  I'm in a situation similar to yours.
My personal journey to date:
I had about a year in therapy about 8 years ago.  My psych and I agreed that I was borderline ambivalent, leaning towards transition.  We decided that I should continue to be male, but leave the possibility of doing things later.

In the intervening years, I fulfilled family obligations, and got myself entangled careerwise, socially, and financially.  Had some bad bouts of GID in between (I call it my pink dog), and held on trying to do nothing desperately.  The noise in my head has been pretty much incessant and annoying - a distraction from everything else good that's happening around me.

This year I've decided to try some HRT to try and quieten the noise.  There is the option nowadays to go on low blockers and estrogen to try and settle things down.  I am hoping that low dose HRT will be enough to put my mind at ease.  I am anticipating some physical changes, but going to try and manage it so that I don't really "blossom" so to speak.

Quote from: Joelene9 on March 17, 2012, 10:35:16 PM
JD,
  A lot of very good posts above.  You've been asking a lot of questions on this forum the past 3 months, which is good.  It's time to find a therapist that's into GID.  You don't have to tell anybody in your family or friends about this at this time while you get evaluated by the therapist and your doctor on this. 
 
  I did manage to be a good son, grandson, brother, nephew, cousin and uncle these past decades despite my GID.  The best thing is to drop the alpha male bullcrap.  That will only make matters worse.  You don't have to be an Oskar Milquetoast either.  Just be yourself.
  Joelene

Hi Joelene, JD, Luna, all of you!
         My gut feeling is that something huge is about to happen, maybe the Second Coming, I dunno but gender issues will pale to insignificance and fade away. Who knows? But I'm looking forward to it with great anticipation!

Quote from: Shantel on March 18, 2012, 10:04:59 AM
Hi Joelene, JD, Luna, all of you!
         My gut feeling is that something huge is about to happen, maybe the Second Coming, I dunno but gender issues will pale to insignificance and fade away. Who knows? But I'm looking forward to it with great anticipation!

I hope you are right, because my "bones" tell me that what is coming is more war, financial depression for the middle class and poor, and a more environmental decay.

I am old, so the brunt of this s... will take place after I am gone, but I do worry for my children. I tried to prepear them for, but it is a daunting challenge.

As for you JD:

Your story and feelings echo in my life. You can be the alpha male and live with a moderate sense of happines, but the dysphoria will never live you alone, as you get old, and contemplate your mortality, the urge to fully transition will become a question of life or death.

Know that just because we abandon the male role, we need not loose any of the alpha privileges and duties. I present as a female but still I am the protector and provider for my children, the mentor for my young colleges, the "rock" in the tempest for my friends and colleagues, and the safe harbor for my SO.

Despite my dress I have retain my high level post in my corporation, with all the pressures and benefits. The only thing that has change is that instead of being the "tough" man, now and I am the "exacting bitch." :)

Best advice, seek counseling, find a mentor,

Quote from: A on March 17, 2012, 10:13:52 PM
-Real therapy outside a church.
-Some parts of the physical parts of transition (hromones and/or SRS and/or FFS) without changing social roles.
-Going for a mixed gender identity, which they call "queer".
-Androgyny.
-Crossdressing.
-Going drag at times.
-Subtly wearing female attire, either when not seen or under other clothes.
-Did I mention real therapy?

There's no magical pill, and only a real therapist will probably be able to guide you on the way that's right for you.

Quote from: Joelene9 on March 17, 2012, 10:35:16 PM
JD,
  A lot of very good posts above.  You've been asking a lot of questions on this forum the past 3 months, which is good.  It's time to find a therapist that's into GID.  You don't have to tell anybody in your family or friends about this at this time while you get evaluated by the therapist and your doctor on this. 
 
  I did manage to be a good son, grandson, brother, nephew, cousin and uncle these past decades despite my GID.  The best thing is to drop the alpha male bullcrap.  That will only make matters worse.  You don't have to be an Oskar Milquetoast either.  Just be yourself.
  Joelene

Quote from: peky on March 18, 2012, 11:17:49 AM
I hope you are right, because my "bones" tell me that what is coming is more war, financial depression for the middle class and poor, and a more environmental decay.

I am old, so the brunt of this s... will take place after I am gone, but I do worry for my children. I tried to prepear them for, but it is a daunting challenge.

As for you JD:

Your story and feelings echo in my life. You can be the alpha male and live with a moderate sense of happines, but the dysphoria will never live you alone, as you get old, and contemplate your mortality, the urge to fully transition will become a question of life or death.

Know that just because we abandon the male role, we need not loose any of the alpha privileges and duties. I present as a female but still I am the protector and provider for my children, the mentor for my young colleges, the "rock" in the tempest for my friends and colleagues, and the safe harbor for my SO.

Despite my dress I have retain my high level post in my corporation, with all the pressures and benefits. The only thing that has change is that instead of being the "tough" man, now and I am the "exacting bitch." :)

Best advice, seek counseling, find a mentor,

Yes, after ignoring the advice for months, I finally started seeing a gender therapist. We only had one appointment so far, but he has me journaling about my feelings. Also, he has me not masturbating or crossdressing for the coming week.

Hopefully we will figure something out!

Re: Treatment options for gender dysphoria without transitioning?

1. Stay on low dose HRT
2. Grow your hair long
3. Laser hair removal
4. Dress androgenously

Quote from: Shantel on March 18, 2012, 10:04:59 AM
Hi Joelene, JD, Luna, all of you!
         My gut feeling is that something huge is about to happen, maybe the Second Coming, I dunno but gender issues will pale to insignificance and fade away. Who knows? But I'm looking forward to it with great anticipation!

Not to take this thread off topic but yes something big is gonna happen soon.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2012/03/16/executive-order-national-defense-resources-preparedness (http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2012/03/16/executive-order-national-defense-resources-preparedness)


The White House

Office of the Press Secretary

For Immediate Release March 16, 2012
Executive Order -- National Defense Resources Preparedness
EXECUTIVE ORDER

NATIONAL DEFENSE RESOURCES PREPAREDNESS

So its been two years now. Has this Big thing happened and did i miss it? And to Ultimus I hope that you have found Happiness. I am dealing with the same thing right now

Quote from: Amazon D on March 18, 2012, 03:39:49 PM
Not to take this thread off topic but yes something big is gonna happen soon.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2012/03/16/executive-order-national-defense-resources-preparedness (http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2012/03/16/executive-order-national-defense-resources-preparedness)


The White House

Office of the Press Secretary

For Immediate Release March 16, 2012
Executive Order -- National Defense Resources Preparedness
EXECUTIVE ORDER

NATIONAL DEFENSE RESOURCES PREPAREDNESS

yes, chemical war ,mutation, zombie birth, then the Rapture not necessarily in this order

Aloha Jennifer and welcome.

FWIW I grew up in the same state as you it sounds like.

Transition is kinda' up to the transitioner. I have not seen Ultimus post in a while.

But, my point is HRT does not POOF! make you a woman. It can do wonders for the mind though.

If you go on Spiro, it will likely drop your libido, and reduce your muscle mass and eventually you would need to take E or go off of Spiro to protect bone mass.

Good luck and do not be a stranger.

Aloha,
Tori

Quote from: Jenniferinutah on February 16, 2014, 08:03:17 PM
So its been two years now. Has this Big thing happened and did i miss it? And to Ultimus I hope that you have found Happiness. I am dealing with the same thing right now

Yup, the Mayan calendar ended and the world didn't.  ;)

Nice to see a fellow Utahn here Jennifer. If you want some suggestions then I'd say first start with a therapist that has experience helping clients with gender dysphoria. There is a good list here:
http://utahtransmed.org/counselors/

I tried LDS family services first about 6 years ago. Bounced around to a few different counselors before finding one whom they claimed had experience with trans issues. Turned out she'd helped 15 year old kid briefly. Hardly what I'd call experienced. But the real kicker was she was so biased and projected her own opinions on me to the point where I'd had enough and decided I didn't want anything to do with therapists. I then proceeded to bottle my feelings away and live in misery another 5 years before seeking help again.

Contrast that to the therapist I am seeing now. She was and even still is more than willing to help me live with this without transitioning if that is what I want to do. She doesn't try to push her beliefs and opinions on me. She's just there to listen and help guide me down the path I've chosen and to help me see and overcome the obstacles I may face. That is what a good therapist does.

I feel I should mention that we have a great adult transgender support group that meets at the pride center in SLC. You can come as you are, no one there judges you or projects their opinions on you (it's actually one of our rules that all statements come from an "I, me, my, myself" point of view). More details at the link below:
http://www.utahpridecenter.org/programs/transgender/transgender-adult-group

Anyway, feel free to message me if you ever want to talk privately.

Hi Ultimus,

Quote from: Ultimus on February 21, 2012, 02:34:37 PM
I'm mature enough to accept that I can't rid myself of it. But what can I do besides transition? There might not be a cure, but is there at least treatment to make this life any easier?

From how you have expressed your feelings; essentially the answer to both your questions is; No.

You can't get rid of it; it doesn't go away; it can't be mitigated; and there is no "cure". From how you see things, anything other than transition will effectively be denial. Do you want to end up in that endless loop?

Huggs
Catherine

After looking at the amount of people who viewed your post I'm going to guess you are not alone   My only advice to you is follow your heart werever it takes u and this is not a journey u need to take alone  best wishes

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on February 17, 2014, 06:29:58 AM

Quote from: Catherine Sarah on February 17, 2014, 06:23:40 AM
You can't get rid of it; it doesn't go away; it can't be mitigated; and there is no "cure".

One thing which I hate the most about this - it is bloody not fair. Not fair to us, not fair to those close to us and many other people. And knowing that life is not fair in general does not really help either.

I couldn't agree more, Emily.

I've wasted soooooo much time trying to get rid of it, forcing it to go away, trying to mitigate it and looking for a cure that doesn't exist, that I nearly took myself out, twice.

If someone had the guts to tell me I was wasting my time all those years ago, a substantial amount of collateral damage would not have resulted. And that too is not fair.

Huggs
Catherine

I don't know I transitrioned without HRT in 2004 and then had all the money I needed for SRS or anything else from 2007-2013, but now I'm broke and just couldn't make a decision since I was broken hearted and turned to my old friend to help me thru. That old friend wasn't really a friend at all. Now all I can hope is that something turns around. Part of me thinks I should detrnasition, get a job in my field where I wont be fired and then do it. But then I think, ugh, no. I am suing my old employer with the full support and legal resources of the mazzoni center so hopefully I win and they give me 30,000. That's my settlement offer. Oh that and my boss gets fired.

I don't know just to ad my  2 cents. This started with me when I was at least  4.if not before birth. there is no way this is not entangled in genetics at some level . I was conscious of it at 4 but it must of been there from the start. I've never been able to get rid of it. I was in denial for a long time only after having achieve a level of properly presenting my self as a woman to society by being in public. I thought it was conquered . I tried being totally male and all I got for the effort was severe depression pain and constant thoughts of the best way to end the problem, pills , buildings, knives  or what ever. Some day if they can rewire genetics ( which might not be the best idea) There might be some relief for us.

Quote from: stephaniec on February 17, 2014, 03:59:09 PM
I don't know just to ad my  2 cents. This started with me when I was at least  4.if not before birth. there is no way this is not entangled in genetics at some level . I was conscious of it at 4 but it must of been there from the start. I've never been able to get rid of it. I was in denial for a long time only after having achieve a level of properly presenting my self as a woman to society by being in public. I thought it was conquered . I tried being totally male and all I got for the effort was severe depression pain and constant thoughts of the best way to end the problem, pills , buildings, knives  or what ever. Some day if they can rewire genetics ( which might not be the best idea) There might be some relief for us.

Have you heard about the transgendered twin girl in Maine for the rights to use the female bathroom? She is an identical twin to her brother who seems to have no GID issues. This suggests there is also some spatial prenatal influence that is not genetic. I find this completely fascinating.

Quote from: bobowhoa on March 26, 2014, 11:04:26 PM
Have you heard about the transgendered twin girl in Maine for the rights to use the female bathroom? She is an identical twin to her brother who seems to have no GID issues. This suggests there is also some spatial prenatal influence that is not genetic. I find this completely fascinating.

I just read the article, pretty interesting

take up more masculine disciplines of life, get married, get divorced, get married again, play football, become a marine or better a special ops, then when life becomes unbearable, and you sit on the edge of existence, on the edge of the cliff and stare into abyss of intoxicating space beckoning to throw your self into darkness for sake of truth....................

Or, you can just accept the inevitable................

I don't understand the concept of identifying very male but also at the same time having dysphoria because you want to be a woman.  Those two don't seem to go together to me.  So I think my first impulse would be to make sure that you weren't in denial about your gender identity, and that the alpha-male thing wasn't a compensation mechanism.   I've learned to never underestimate the human capacity for denial.

Also, maybe you could look into the crossdressing forum.  I don't know too much about that realm of things, but I think(?) they usually still identify as men, in the case of mtf, so that was the only thing I could think of when I read your post that might fit.

For a good 30 years I got by relying on what I call the "3 D's"; Diversions, Distractions, and Denial. Buried myself in my career, overwhelmed myself with responsibilities, kept on telling myself I am just a CD.

It worked. It came with a cost, my soul, my life, my spirit. I became a machine with nothing more happening than wake up work on an endless to do list, eat sleep, repeat. I also became a miserable wretch, according to my wife. I didn't make things happy for her for sure. Another near cost, our marriage.

My wife is not too thrilled over my present techniques for dealing with the GD. However, it sure is better that escalating into falling back on the ole-reliable "4 D's"; Diversions, Distractions, Denial, and Death".  Death being the only other known "cure".

Quote from: JoanneB on March 29, 2014, 08:26:17 AM
For a good 30 years I got by relying on what I call the "3 D's"; Diversions, Distractions, and Denial. Buried myself in my career, overwhelmed myself with responsibilities, kept on telling myself I am just a CD.

It worked. It came with a cost, my soul, my life, my spirit. I became a machine with nothing more happening than wake up work on an endless to do list, eat sleep, repeat. I also became a miserable wretch, according to my wife. I didn't make things happy for her for sure. Another near cost, our marriage.

My wife is not too thrilled over my present techniques for dealing with the GD. However, it sure is better that escalating into falling back on the ole-reliable "4 D's"; Diversions, Distractions, Denial, and Death".  Death being the only other known "cure".

Yes, a resounding amen to this!

Wow.  I have not been to Susan's place for ... ages.  Years and years.  So glad it's thriving here.

I found this thread via an internet search, which is why I joined again.  It's something I try to explore from time to time, wondering if anyone has any magic bullets.  This is the best discussion I've found, and I want to thank you all for it.  What it's done is validate for me (again...) that no, no magic bullets.  Not yet, probably not never... 

Not a surprising conclusion, though I do keep looking.  I'm MtoF, long married, with (now) grown children, an excellent gender therapist and wonderful support in other ways.  My family gets it, as well as anyone can who's not going through the experience.  Not what they want, especially my spouse, but she gets that it's real.  I have been staving off transition, kicking and screaming, for decades.  I don't regret it, either, but ... it's getting near(er?) time to throw in the towel, embrace myself, celebrate my gift, whatever you wish to call it.  Like many (though it's often hard to hear about them, why would they make themselves known? [one answer: support needs]), I tend to push my ability to tolerate things to the absolute limit I can stand.  Then, often without what I'd really call a decision, I take another step.  I've taken quite a few so far.  I guess if transition were just one thing, I'd be Charlene everywhere and full-time now, but it's hundreds or thousands of things.  I've been on HRT for five years.  Gradually increased the dose until I got as comfortable as I could two or three years ago.  Plenty of body changes.   Had laser, need more.  Had some electro, need much more.  Got to fix a bunch of things.  Each one relieves the pain a bit, for awhile.  And each one is another transition step.  I guess that's how it works, and the only thing that works.

I do keep kicking and screaming.  I'll tell you right now, just having a bunch of people discussing this as you have here is a comfort to me.  It won't relieve the pain,  but I know that much better that I R not alone.  There's not a good suggestion here I haven't tried, or am not doing.  (And there are good suggestions... as good as I've found anywhere.)  I've been taking transition step by little step, and it might continue that way.  Or I might just get it rolling like I've got to.

Family might now be my biggest barrier, though I haven't considered them a barrier, I've considered them a lifeline.  I have, or did have, my own abundant internal supply of denial and resistance.  I don't know if it's all gone, but I am SO. SO. TIRED.   Their existence, and my desire not to pull them through this any more than I have to, has given me strength and motivation to consider very carefully what I need and what I really must do, whereas I might not have been as careful (and maybe not as sure) without them.

As I said, I have support, and it's great.  I'm elsewhere on the internet, there's a great local community, I have great therapists, great doctors, all that stuff.

Damn, I'd hoped somebody here would have a great new idea, too.  But I'm not too surprised or even disappointed.  I'd have probably heard about it already.

Anyway, I did want to say thanks for being here, contributing your experiences, your ideas, and your insights.

Maybe I'll continue to pop in from time to time.

I'm trying to find happiness in my current body, I'm trying to convince myself that I'm happy. I thought staying away from trans support websites and 'not thinking about it' would work, but it isn't working. I feel so guilty about it. I may have to spend the rest of my life in hiding, but I don't want to... this isn't even close to the life I want to live.... I can either be a miserable man or be a 'not miserable not man'. I've tried purging myself, but the urge gets stronger.

If I can't be a woman, I want to 'not be a man' at least. The non-binary folk on this thread have helped me realize it's possible (low dose HRT, hair removal), I'm very thankful for that.

Yes, HRT and hair removal can make a big difference.  If those changes last you a lifetime, then all to the good.  Hair removal can take a long time - last you years while keeping you satisfied that you're doing what your inner self demands.  If the dysphoria gets horrid again (it can, it has with me), then there are other things you can do... be more androgynous, wear longer hair and style it, go part-time, be partly but subtly dressed full-time, ear piercings, ... the list goes on.

I think there may come a point, for some of us, anyway, where we can't stall or fool ourselves any longer.  It all comes in a flood, and no partial changes suffice.  I *think* that, though I'm not certain.  I might even be at that point, but I can still sort of function, so maybe not.  I can still stand up, do a few things on my own initiative, though not well, quickly, or with great concentration.  I've been here before.  It can linger for a long time, or go down fast.  It is certainly not comfortable, but that's the way this path goes, at least for me, and many others too.  I don't have a good idea of how to control the dynamic, or if that's even possible.  People I respect say no, it is not.

Good luck to you, Cin.

Why is decreasing the amount of testosterone good for gender dysphoria? Wouldn't that actually put you closer into transitioning?

Quote from: BunnyBee on March 28, 2014, 04:15:19 PM
I don't understand the concept of identifying very male but also at the same time having dysphoria because you want to be a woman.  Those two don't seem to go together to me.  So I think my first impulse would be to make sure that you weren't in denial about your gender identity, and that the alpha-male thing wasn't a compensation mechanism.   I've learned to never underestimate the human capacity for denial.

Also, maybe you could look into the crossdressing forum.  I don't know too much about that realm of things, but I think(?) they usually still identify as men, in the case of mtf, so that was the only thing I could think of when I read your post that might fit.

I could see this because it's my life too. I have a strong body dysphoria, but not a very strong gender role dysphoria. And like the original poster, I've tried everything imaginable to just be more masculine and make it go away before finally realizing that it's not possible. I've spent another 10 years roughly since then just trying to cope with it and avoid the transition and I still haven't made up my mind yet.