Susan's Place Transgender Resources

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/feb/23/gender-dysphoria-tyranny-of-normal (http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/feb/23/gender-dysphoria-tyranny-of-normal)

In the past, the major difficulty with gender identity issues was that they were perceived as rare conditions and people who had them were therefore isolated and affected by being misunderstood. The transgendered were repressed, persecuted or not taken seriously, and consequently suffered with loneliness and depression.

A boy may have said he felt he was really a girl, but as such a thing was so little heard of he would not be believed and would learn to keep that subjective experience secret and suffer accordingly. The internet has made ->-bleeped-<- in children more widely known, which makes it easier for it to be accepted and, hopefully, more normal. But as the recent spate of sensationalist news stories about young children with the condition show, we, as a culture, have work to do: "normality" needs to widen its net.

When raising any child, gender dysphoric or not, upbringing should not be about whether to oppress or indulge children, as it too often is. Ideally the carers of a gender dysphoric child should neither be punitive nor overly enthusiastic, as both of these responses would be judgmental. A judgment is a bit like a full stop and, once reached, further exploration tends to cease. Instead, adults need to honour children's subjective experience. They should endeavour to understand and validate a child's feelings.

"Adults need to honor childrens' subjective experience."

There's the rub.  Adults need to parent.  That means caring, guiding, mentoring, being role models, etc.  The dog wags the tail; not the other way around.

Perry's article is a sad attempt to devalue the reality of the TS and validate her being married to a silly CD who most UK TS think is a joke.

(This post originally quoted a response that has since been removed by a moderator.  It is not a response to lilacwoman's post.  Just wanted to clear that up.)

I am sorry if I offended you. I think we see things from different ends of the spectrum.  I try not to be negative, but rather, bring an adult perspective to the conversation.

The article referenced in the original post suggested, to my reading, that parents basically abdicate their responsibilities.  It don't see that as sensible, and frankly, a little vapid. But I'll defer to your experience.

Quote from: Jamie D on February 23, 2012, 04:55:50 PMThere's the rub.  Adults need to parent.  That means caring, guiding, mentoring, being role models, etc.

True. Being either judgmental or intolerant of "being different" from the norm would make it next to imposible to be a parent when your unique children turn out to be a bit different from what you expected to get?

QuoteThe dog wags the tail; not the other way around.

Children are definitely not some appendage!
Good parenting begins with seeing the child as an unique individual.

Quote from: Artemis on February 25, 2012, 05:50:05 AM
True. Being either judgmental or intolerant of "being different" from the norm would make it next to imposible to be a parent when your unique children turn out to be a bit different from what you expected to get?
Children are definitely not some appendage!
Good parenting begins with seeing the child as an unique individual.

Both valid points, Artemis.

But, please recall the article referred to "any child, gender dysphoric or not."  Adults benefit from age and experience - which does not mean they are, therefore, "judgmental or intolerant."  Of the hundreds of millions of children in the world, many millions are outside "the norm" (however you might measure that), and yet, their parents value and nurture them.

Some manners please...

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