Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I feel like I've been male my entire life, even though I haven't. I don't really feel any different from a bio-male. And telling someone that I'm trans just feels like a lie. Is there anyone else here who doesn't really identify as trans?

I don't really identify as trans either.  I use the term when I have to, but it feels strange to me.  Occasionally I kind of forget and have actually used words like "they"/"them" to describe the trans "community".  Not in a negative way, just in conversation with people that know my history.

I've always felt a similar wy, so I assure you, you're not alone.

I don't identify as trans either. I don't view it as an identity. It just describes the state I'm in. I identify as a man and have my entire life.

I also identify as male and do not consider transsexualism an identity, but rather a medical condition.  You're not entirely alone on this site although you're in the minority.

Quote from: poptart on March 03, 2012, 12:06:22 AM
I identify as male and consider transsexualism nothing more than an accident of birth.

This.

Quote from: poptart on March 03, 2012, 12:06:22 AM
I also identify as male and do not consider transsexualism an identity, but rather a medical condition.

This, exactly.

Quote from: Everyone on March 02, 2012, 11:12:04 PM
I feel like I've been male my entire life, even though I haven't. I don't really feel any different from a bio-male. And telling someone that I'm trans just feels like a lie. Is there anyone else here who doesn't really identify as trans?

Yep.  Exactly that.

i'm also gonna echo poptart.  i actually find identifying as trans a bit weird, seems to me that surely transgender should be the definition for someone who identifies as a non-birth gender rather than the identity itself. 

Quote from: Sharky on March 02, 2012, 11:51:37 PM
I don't identify as trans either. I don't view it as an identity. It just describes the state I'm in. I identify as a man and have my entire life.

This is exactly how I feel about it.

I guess I don't really "feel" trans.  Then again, I don't really "feel" male either.  And androgynous is too middle of the road for me in terms of physical expression.  The best way to describe how I feel I guess is neither male or female with a very strong preference to a masculine body.  I just "feel" like me. Does that make sense?  XD

Quote from: ChesireBat on March 03, 2012, 08:40:51 AM
I guess I don't really "feel" trans.  Then again, I don't really "feel" male either.  And androgynous is too middle of the road for me in terms of physical expression.  The best way to describe how I feel I guess is neither male or female with a very strong preference to a masculine body.  I just "feel" like me. Does that make sense?  XD

We're in the same boat :3
but just the opposite for me.

I totally agree. I'm male, nothing else.

More to the "agree" here. I always being a female, nothing else, the wrong genitalia is just a birth defect to be corrected.

I hate the word transsexual, becausese my sexuality has nothing to do with my birth defect, it is a hindrance at best

I hate the word transgender, because it encompass so many other things that have nothing to do with my issue.

So,  I have been using the "misgender at birth" to refer to my birth defect, as "birth defect" brings up vision of deformities and monsters in the mind of most people. What do you think ?

Peky

I also feel the same way as Poptart described, I just feel male. The issue with my body not matching that is just a medical issue to me. When I describe my "condition" to people I usually don't use the term transsexual/transgender, because it feels odd to me.

I tend to use ftm(though I despise the term)/trans* as a way of introducing the concept to people who are unfamiliar with gender identity, but I am -not- FtM or a trans man. I'm a guy, nothing more, nothing less.

Quote from: ChesireBat on March 03, 2012, 08:40:51 AM
I guess I don't really "feel" trans.  Then again, I don't really "feel" male either.  And androgynous is too middle of the road for me in terms of physical expression.  The best way to describe how I feel I guess is neither male or female with a very strong preference to a masculine body.  I just "feel" like me. Does that make sense?  XD

I'd say this is kinda close to how I feel. I don't choose "trans" as my identity.

Yup, what everyone else has said. The way I see it, I identify as male, which because of my current anatomy makes me trans, but I don't directly identify as such, if that makes any sense.

I use certain common labels, but mostly for convenience. I don't like the term FTM, but I do use it because people know what I mean. I use the broad term trans and the more specific term transsexual. I consider myself a transsexual because I know that I was assigned female at birth and because I once lived (at least in the real world) as a girl and a woman. Ugh. I hate to even say it because it was so wrong for me. So I'm a transsexual because of my birth labeling, my history, my life experiences. I'm a transsexual because I wasn't given the opportunity to self-define from my earliest childhood on. I'm a transsexual because that's the most convenient term to describe people like me who have had similar experiences.

But I do not have an FTM identity or a trans identity or a transsexual identity. I'm a human being and a gay man and an American with certain religious, political, and social beliefs. That's my identity.

Being gay is a strong part of my identity. It has been ever since I can remember, even before I understood what it meant to be gay and even before I fully understood that I was gay. I just knew that I was M4M identified ever since I was a little kid.

I fully realize that I'm also using some binary-appearing labeling here, but I recognize a spectrum of gender. I'm just way down at one end of it. And as for sex, well, don't get me started.

i agree i identify as a man and im stealth to a bunch of people because i dont think its important to tell people im trans and it does seem like a lie it seems like im telling them im not a real man when i am.

A lot of people feel this way and you aren't strange at all for it.

I do identify as transsexual, and I love that particular term because I'm childish and it always makes me want to giggle. But I also identify as an insomniac, a vegetarian, a parent, a scholar, a PTSD patient, an Oregonian, a southerner, an indigent, and on and on. My trans identity is not my primary detail, it's just one of many, and it's just a descriptor. In day to day life I feel male and I often forget that I'm trans until somebody points it out. Which is part of why fewer and fewer people are hearing anything about it if I can help it.

Being a dad is I guess my main identity. Being trans is somewhere in between having psoriasis and being gay, as far as importance goes.

Quote from: Felix on March 03, 2012, 08:20:00 PM
Being trans is somewhere in between having psoriasis and being gay, as far as importance goes.

For me being trans isn't something evil nor is it very high up in my list of important descriptors. But I feel it is something I needed to just accept so I -could- move it way down the list. From what I have seen people who work hard to deny they are TG, end up spending a lot of their time focusing/being haunted by it. Just my experience with it.

I do identify as transexual (or transgender to make it more wide)
But I do understand certain people if they dont. People who ex transitioned as living male/female, and who fit very well in the norm of it, and never really get to hit the topic, other than just being born alittle diffrent.

for my own caise, I just belive me being transexul has been such a big part of me, that my personalety and everyday life is infected by it, whatever I wanna admit it or not.

I been having other experience than most people do, and been threated diffrently by sociaty, I also had to go into political work and learn to see things in a whole new world I woudlnt know about if it wasnt, and it makes me feel diffrent from normal guys, mainly because I know they dont have the same experience as I have, but also because I know around 95% of them dont have the same knowlegde or opinion as I have.

I belive some transgender people just want to be "normal" and dont feel like doing a big fuss about them being trans, if they dont need.
I perfectly understand those and in a way I would like that as well. but for my situation I cant deal with the guilt of just ignoring the knowlegde I have as everything where "fine" and just fit in cause I have too. I do feel a certain responsible for standing up for myself or others, which make me as transexual to be more than just a regular guy.

hope it makes sense

Like others have said, it's not unusual at all.

I've said this before and I'll say it again: Who really sees themselves as trans as opposed to male? The whole point of being transsexual is that you just see yourself as male, so it's not unusual for guys (especially pre-T and early on T, when the chip on your shoulder is the hugest) to insist that they are not "trans," just "male."

But I think they misunderstand what identifying as trans means. Being trans just denotes a certain background, as far as I understand it; I take it the same way as a lot of people take their race. I don't take "trans" as something that specifically denotes a person's gender identity (your gender identity, after all is "just male" if you're a transguy, usually, and has nothing to do with whether you're trans or bio), just something that implies a specific sort of social background.

I know this sounds weird, but I think people need to stop associating being trans as something having to do directly with a person's gender identity. You would identify as male anyway whether you were trans or bio, right? So being trans has nothing to do with your gender, necessarily, it just describes the relationship your gender had with your upbringing in society. Some people (especially the general public, who know little about us) make it out to be more than that.

Personally, I consider myself male AND acknowledge that I am not the same as a non-transmale in the sense that I have a different background in that I was raised as if I were female. That is what "trans" means to me.

Quote from: NatkatI belive some transgender people just want to be "normal" and dont feel like doing a big fuss about them being trans, if they dont need.
I perfectly understand those and in a way I would like that as well. but for my situation I cant deal with the guilt of just ignoring the knowlegde I have as everything where "fine" and just fit in cause I have too. I do feel a certain responsible for standing up for myself or others, which make me as transexual to be more than just a regular guy.

Then there's this. Yes. Some of us are willing to toss away a stealth life for these reasons. The more of us that do this, though, ironically, the more "normal" being trans will be viewed, the more of a non-issue it will be, the more being stealth won't matter.

So, in a perfect world, I would say, all of us could be male AND openly trans, just as other people can be male and openly Hispanic, male and openly white, male and openly Trekkies, etc. (Once the world understands that being trans or not has nothing to do with maleness [or femaleness].)

EDIT: I always add more crap. Always.

Exactly.
I am male. I dont identify as trans or ftm (I traipse this site anonymously), Id more find "trans" an insult, or to not be seen as male but inbetween somewhere.

I do not identify as trans, or FTM.  Yes, those may be technical terms that are specific to my history. But I am male, period.  A gay male, if you want to be more specific.  I fit in well with my gay male friends.

Other than visiting a few forums to give new people some advice or experiences, I forget that I have a trans history.

Icing on the cake?  Having a medical procedure where I did not disclose, and was just ME.


Jay

Quote from: sneakersjay on March 04, 2012, 04:42:58 PM
Icing on the cake?  Having a medical procedure where I did not disclose, and was just ME.

WOW.

Quote from: Zerro on March 03, 2012, 12:56:07 PM
I tend to use ftm(though I despise the term)/trans* as a way of introducing the concept to people who are unfamiliar with gender identity, but I am -not- FtM or a trans man. I'm a guy, nothing more, nothing less.

^ This. I only really explain being trans to people who are unfamiliar and harmlessly curious or are asking to understand better the situation that I am in. But I am male. Just taking the 'scenic' route.

Quote from: Sharky on March 02, 2012, 11:51:37 PM
I don't identify as trans either. I don't view it as an identity. It just describes the state I'm in. I identify as a man and have my entire life.

I'm with Sharky. I guess I treat it similar to any other disorders/defects I have, really.

Quote from: Morgan. on March 06, 2012, 06:19:54 AMJust taking the 'scenic' route.

Love this. Will quote it in the future.

I'm a girl with a birth defect, that's that.

Why does it have to be a defect?

Quote from: Leek on March 10, 2012, 07:58:38 AM
Why does it have to be a defect?

You could also argue that its a mutqtion, since females are the default sex, males are just mutated females.

It's a birth defect because it is a birth defect lol

Its a physiological disorder to the brain; and out of the norm. It's a defect; an imperfection, because obviously to be "perfect" (by human standards, which in itself is imperfect) would to have a body that matches the gender in which your brain holds.

I don't identify with being trans, as someone else said, I see it as a state that I am currently in. I identify as being male, and am only in a current state of transition.

Quote from: stiltsk on March 10, 2012, 08:49:15 AM
It's a birth defect because it is a birth defect lol

Its a physiological disorder to the brain; and out of the norm. It's a defect; an imperfection, because obviously to be "perfect" (by human standards, which in itself is imperfect) would to have a body that matches the gender in which your brain holds.

I don't identify with being trans, as someone else said, I see it as a state that I am currently in. I identify as being male, and am only in a current state of transition.

Sounds like you don't really know what transsexualism is.

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on March 10, 2012, 09:29:28 AM
Sounds like you don't really know what transsexualism is.

Sounds like you're really rude. I was actually agreeing with you on viewing it as a "defect" part.

I was answering the question on "why view it as a defect" and then answered it from an unbiased biological standpoint, to which research has been conducted.

And then I added my bit about whether or not I "identify" with being transsexual. I am obviously trans, as I have began transition, but I don't exactly "identify" with it. Just as the OP doesn't necessarily identify with being transsexual, but rather male. It doesn't necessarily equate to who I am, which is what my identity does. Being trans is not an identity to me. It is a state of being, as someone said earlier, as in I am transitioning - and therefore am a transsexual, but that is not how I identify. I identify as male, and transitioning will merely allow me to sculpt externally what I am internally already. Just as the OP said, and though I know in reality that is what I am, when people say the word "transsexual" it isn't a term in which I automatically peg as ME. I peg myself as male. Understand? Though I really don't think that I should have to defend myself in a place where I am supposed to be welcomed. I was not being rude to anyone, I was merely stating my personal view on MY situation.

I mean really? Condescending attitudes help no one.

Just because you agree with me doesn't mean your immune to my crticism, sunshine.

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on March 10, 2012, 08:20:00 PM
Just because you agree with me doesn't mean your immune to my crticism, sunshine.

I didn't say I was. I said I had the right to my own personal views, and the fact that your "criticism" basically overlooks them and acts as if there is ONE way to perceive what it is we are going through is what I call RUDE and condescending. Everyone views their transition differently; I just stated that I don't view mine as my identity. I identify as MALE. Completely. I don't have to add the "trans" label to it to feel more complete because of how I was born. Obviously I know what being transsexual means. I underwent therapy just like everyone else that starts medical transition, and am able to continue for a reason. Don't act like you know anything about me by one post that you have seen of mine.

I don't really get why you are targeting me when I have the same opinions as a couple of other guys on this very thread, including the OP. So really, what is your damage "sunshine"?

Quote from: stiltsk on March 10, 2012, 09:12:58 PM
I didn't say I was. I said I had the right to my own personal views, and the fact that your "criticism" basically overlooks them and acts as if there is ONE way to perceive what it is we are going through is what I call RUDE and condescending. Everyone views their transition differently; I just stated that I don't view mine as my identity. I identify as MALE. Completely. I don't have to add the "trans" label to it to feel more complete because of how I was born. Obviously I know what being transsexual means. I underwent therapy just like everyone else that starts medical transition, and am able to continue for a reason. Don't act like you know anything about me by one post that you have seen of mine.

I don't really get why you are targeting me when I have the same opinions as a couple of other guys on this very thread, including the OP. So really, what is your damage "sunshine"?

I would also like to know why Rebecca insists on posting just be disparaging towards others views. You can disagree with someone without denouncing their opinion as a whole. The way she went about it seems really outlandishly inappropriate for me and it would help to know why she thought such behavior was called for.

Quote from: JasonRX on March 10, 2012, 09:25:40 PM
I would also like to know why Rebecca insists on posting just be disparaging towards others views. You can disagree with someone without denouncing their opinion as a whole. The way she went about it seems really outlandishly inappropriate for me and it would help to know why she thought such behavior was called for.

I respect everyones views, and their right to post their opinions. If I disagree with someones views/opinions, well then I have every right to say so, sir.

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on March 10, 2012, 09:54:38 PM
And I identify as FEMALE. You said transsexualism was a phycological disorder when it is not, sweet heart.

I said PHYSIOLOGICAL not PSYCHOLOGICAL - as in PHYSICAL

I said that it was a physiological disorder within the brain, meaning a physical disorder - ie having to do with white brain matter. Not involving the psyche. I never once mentioned psychological.

topic locked

I have issued a warning against inappropriate responses.  The OP and replies appear to be useful discussion but please remember to follow ToS or the topic will be locked again.

When I call myself transgender, I'm talking about being genderqueer, not male.

The maleness has always been a given.

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on March 10, 2012, 09:54:38 PM
And I identify as FEMALE. You said transsexualism was a phycological disorder when it is not, sweet heart.

Rebecca, can you do me a favor? Can you not use terms of endearment when calling people out for beliefs you don't hold? I'm not being snarky and I'd like you to humor me on this even if you don't agree.

Apologies Felix. I had meant to remove the post. I now have.

Gratuitous insulting remarks are not welcome and will be removed.

Cindy James
Global Moderator

To me "Transsexual" describes a process of transcending my original ascribed Gender and Sex.
Basically,  Gender is via outward presentation and manner, Sex via medical intervention by HRT and eventual SRS.  It is a process that will never really cease, in the same way as a Cis-woman never really ceases the process of 'becoming'.

Karen.

I consider transgender to be something I am by an accident of birth.  Yes, in an ideal world we all would have just been born with bodies that match our brains, but this isn't an ideal world and we weren't.  Therefore, by the very definition of transgender, we ARE transgender.  You don't have to define yourself by that one word, but it's part of who you are by your birth.  There's no escaping it, there's not getting around it.  I was born transgender just like I was born premature.  Now I might not identify as a preemie and I don't have to define myself by that in the least bit and in an ideal world I wouldn't have been and I wouldn't have the scars to prove it, but I can't change the fact that that's how I was born.

Quote from: Felix on March 12, 2012, 03:31:02 AM
Rebecca, can you do me a favor? Can you not use terms of endearment when calling people out for beliefs you don't hold? I'm not being snarky and I'd like you to humor me on this even if you don't agree.

Lol ok, how can I say no to that face?

Quote from: xXRebeccaXx on March 12, 2012, 09:40:33 PM
Lol ok, how can I say no to that face?

Thank you Rebecca. ;D