Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I have to rant about this, Sorry.

After 1 year, and god knows how many times I tell people, especially the person that married me, that I am not a 'He',  why do they keep using male pronouns? My wife use 'he' right to the guy I work with and it took all I could not to go off on her. I am so ->-bleeped-<-ing fed up with it. Do I need to scream at these people? maybe I should show off my boobs more, which is not easy to do since I am stuck wearing a damned uniform all the time! My wife has an account on here and you'd think she would have seen by now that hey, Calling an MtF a guy is going to get you an earful. Especially when it's the person who you SLEEP WITH EVERY NIGHT!

-hugs-  I'm really sorry you have to go through that.  Maybe you should sit her down and get to the root of why exactly she continues to call you he?  If that don't work then I would just start calling her "he" or "this is my husband" because honestly it shouldn't take that long to get pronouns right.  It's not rocket science.

Thank you yes. My god, a year is enough and I hate that excuse. I try to give people a lot of leeway. My kid though, a person who has deep attachments to me and only ever knew me as "mom" and "she" switched to "dad" and "he" as soon as she understood that I wasn't playing pretend. She has never yet slipped up on pronouns, or at least not that I've noticed.

There's a lady at her school who has known since before I told my kid, and she keeps calling me "she" and "mom" and using the excuse of not being used to it. The day she met me I told her I was transitioning and that my daughter's classmates may hear about it. That was almost a year ago.

When I was in Alabama I often heard the same reasoning to explain the use of certain racial slurs. Habit is not an excuse when it hurts people so much, though, especially after months or years.

indeed, it does hurt. Funny how such a small set of letters can ruin your day, isn't it? I know she would rather have a male husband, But I was so unhappy being a guy. I tried hard to be that for her. I explained to her that, the guy she spoke to and referred to me as 'he', Refuses to call me Keaira. he doesn't agree with my transition. If she isn't supportive, why should they change their ways? I'm seriously considering quitting my job and going to another place where I can just start over. But I will do that after my US legal name change and gender change on my license.

Yeah it does hurt very much, and is guaranteed to put you in a mood all day. It might not be so much that they don't accept what's happening, or trying to ignore it, - it really can be a force of habit for some people, while others are able to make the 'mental switch' to your new gender almost immediately. When I first started my transition, it was same thing, people kept calling me 'he' I took them aside and had it out with them - but it took a few times, before they let go of their mental attachment to my past gender. You 'will' probably have to talk to them again at some point, otherwise they will continue to use the male pronoun.

Just my thoughts :)

Catherine.

How long do you have to wait for your name change Keaira?  Once you are xxxxxx there is no sense answering to the old name, as that isn't you is it?  That should get the message across.  I did it to someone I previously worked with who kept getting it wrong.  They soon learned.

Karen.

I changed my name legally and went full time in 2007 and although it's been years since my family has called me by the wrong name, from time to time they still get the pronouns wrong. I just correct them each time it happens. My partner has never gotten it wrong tho but that's because he's always known me as Jen.

My family members try to not screw up but everytime it happens and it cuts like a knife, i know how you feel exactly hunny...much love *hugs*.

She's a straight woman who married you as a (formerly) straight guy, right?

I can imagine it takes her a long, long time to accept you as a woman and figuring out where she herself is as a straight woman in both your marriage.

Gosh, Keaira, I am sorry you have to go through that. :( I wish I could offer some advice. You are a lovely, sweet woman and I hope that things get better for you. *hug*

I agree with others, in that it is not a good excuse at all.

I had to deal with this for a while with a few people. I wasn't married but some close friends kept slipping up, especially if we were having a long casual conversation. I did find when I got my voice sorted out, this completely ended. Not sure if it was a coincidence or not.

Quote from: Stephe on March 17, 2012, 08:47:50 PM
I had to deal with this for a while with a few people. I wasn't married but some close friends kept slipping up, especially if we were having a long casual conversation. I did find when I got my voice sorted out, this completely ended. Not sure if it was a coincidence or not.

I think voice often has a lot to do with it. Mine's just started dropping and I'm being taken more seriously as male than I used to be.