Susan's Place Transgender Resources

How do you get used to being alone? I have never been totally alone before.

Well I always just focused on the things  that make me happy without needing a SO, and trying to carry on while still keeping an eye out for someone new. I am very codependant but, I have learned that i can do things on my own mostly by forcing myself to do things that i don't always feel like doing.

I hope you find a way to be happy

I went through that Noel.

Basically, I focused on my family, Mom and Dad, stayed together with them and also focused on my hobbies, I play the acoustic. Just keep yourself busy and try to not think about the other person too much. Things eventually get better and you adapt to the single lifestyle.

There are pluses as well, you can go out clubbing and things like that.

Mmmm....

Career
Games
Do stuff with friends
Improve yourself (extra time to work out and so on)
Get a hobby

There are a LOT of things to do outside of a relationship... in fact, how do people have time for relationships?! I find it hard to fit one into my schedule lol.

i mean i have no one... no friends no job... no family really. I am all alone... and about to loose my place. next week. I have an interview tomorrow though

You will be fine. Focus on the things you do have. You have your youth, your health, your intelligence, your good looks, your positive energy, and your friends at Susan's. You will do just fine. :)

Jennifer

Quote from: DonnaTroy on March 22, 2012, 07:49:55 PM
Welcome to my life with the exception of the last but i have faith in you, i think you can make it :).

See Donna, there's always someone who has it worse than you. To the OP, enjoy your freedom while you still have it.

Quote from: DonnaTroy on March 22, 2012, 07:49:55 PM
Welcome to my life with the exception of the last but i have faith in you, i think you can make it :).

Ditto.

Also, since others in your same predicament have made it before, you can make it too. Just go by one of the motto's I use: what one person can do, another can do. Plus what was already said is that you still have your youth and good looks, and I agree. You do have those going for you. :)

Being single is easy as soon as you realise you don't need to be in a relationship to have a good life.
I have not been in one for...lets just say a while lol and yes sometimes i miss having a girlfriend but it doesnt get me down.
There was a point in my like where I felt really alone, I felt disconnected from my family and my friends had all moved on.
As it is now I only have one real true friend outside of work but it is enough. I spend a lot of my time with my friend and we go
on brilliant adventures. We are always there for each other as much as two emotionally detached people can be anyways.
I found this friend by actively seeking for one, I was lonely so was he somehow we just found each other. Now we are practically like
brothers.

There is a whole planet full of people out there, you can find friends. If you get this job or even some other you can make friends at work who with a bit of effort can become friends outside of work. In the meantime you have us and we are here for you. You can make friends on this site, it does not matter if it is a person you will never meet, it is company. It is someone who is there for you, who you can talk to and perhaps share a laugh with.
I am not very good at social situations, im a bit boring to be honest as I think one of my friends on here may have found out on a webcam chat lol  ::)
So yeah im a bit uneasy around people, a bit shy. I dont really come across as the most interesting person but I have found people tend to make friend with me anyways. When I ask why they say it is because I am nice. So if you struggle like I do then simply show them that you are kind and quite a lot of the time they will do the rest of the work for you anyways.

Once you have friends dealing with being single really isnt a big issue because your rarely lonely anymore =]

Quote from: noell.natalie on March 22, 2012, 05:16:59 PM
i mean i have no one... no friends no job... no family really. I am all alone... and about to loose my place. next week. I have an interview tomorrow though

  I know how you feel i'm kinda in the same boat, god I hate being poor. 

QuoteI have an interview tomorrow though]

  Good luck!

Quote from: Tom on March 22, 2012, 09:02:46 PM
Being single is easy as soon as you realise you don't need to be in a relationship to have a good life.

This!  I was raised that I didn't need someone else to be happy and it's true!  Well, it is now.  When I was immersed in my depression, I felt like I needed someone to be happy as I result, I dated a guy for a year and was even engaged to him.  Then, a few weeks back, I broke up with him because I came to my senses (so to speak) and I didn't feel it was fair to keep him hanging on when I was really not wanting a relationship and that I was in this relationship for all of the wrong reasons.  I realize I don't need someone to be happy now and I'm truly enjoying being single and living my life.

To overcome being lonely and to get used to living alone, I focus on myself and my pets.  I work on making myself a better person and just enjoy the little things now:  the sun, the rain, my dog running around goofily, my rabbit yawning, being able to drive, being able to walk, etc. 

Just look at whatever makes you happy and focus on that and all of the good things in your life.  It can be so hard to do, particularly when you have no one around you, but it is worth it.  If you want friends, join a club.  You can meet like minded people and it can help you not be so lonely.  Going to work prevents me from being lonely because I have to deal with people so I truly enjoy my alone time when I get it.

In the end you just grow used to it. Being lonely is a horrible feeling however it can aid you in self discovery, as well as empowerment.

Quote from: noell.natalie on March 22, 2012, 04:11:58 PM
How do you get used to being alone? I have never been totally alone before.

Being alone kind of sucks but in the end, you'll find out more about yourself. Of course, there's always the internet just for human contact.

Quote from: Rach_A on March 23, 2012, 12:10:52 AM
Being alone kind of sucks but in the end, you'll find out more about yourself. Of course, there's always the internet just for human contact.

That's how I've been getting by.  I try to drown out my lonliness with video games,day dreaming and surfing the web.  Not the best thing to do but it gets the job done.

Quote from: noell.natalie on March 22, 2012, 04:11:58 PM
How do you get used to being alone? I have never been totally alone before.

You're not alone, honey. Even though you've never met the people who care about you, that doesn't stop them caring, and their thoughts being with you. *big hug* Whatever happens, don't forget that. No one here is truly alone.

Good luck with the interview. *crosses fingers* Let us know how you get on, 'kay?

The interviewer seemed to like me ill let you guys know if I get a call.

Quote from: noell.natalie on March 23, 2012, 11:46:35 AM
The interviewer seemed to like me ill let you guys know if I get a call.

Yea ! Don't look at it as "alone and single" - your between relationships exploring the infinite possibilities. i'd be alone if it wasn't for my kids but then again  . . .

. . . if it wasn't for my kids i'd probably wouldn't 'ave an "ex" either thus would have plenty of friends ? She's still around irritating, stalking, mooching, getting in my way . . . . If it makes ya feel any better "marriage" is The Worse and, having done it once, would NEVER do that again !

if you are like me, you never get used to it.  I have to have a companion in my life.  I have to have another human in my bed.

Fortunately I have been married for 30 years and almost never sleep alone.  If my wife left me I have several women I could call.

I'm just not going to be alone at all.  I'm not built for that.

Randi

Quote from: noell.natalie on March 22, 2012, 04:11:58 PM
How do you get used to being alone? I have never been totally alone before.

Hobbies... music... sports... exercise.

For me it's the opposite... I'm not much of a people person.  :-\

Quote from: noell.natalie on March 22, 2012, 04:11:58 PM
How do you get used to being alone? I have never been totally alone before.

Stay active.

Get out and do things.

Try to make some friends.

I know it's tough. Especially in the wake of a break-up.