Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: El Capitan on March 25, 2012, 03:33:36 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Do you reckon this name suits me? (+a bit of other stuff)
Post by: El Capitan on March 25, 2012, 03:33:36 PM
Post by: El Capitan on March 25, 2012, 03:33:36 PM
alright guys (and girls)?
I've been deep in thought for a while now about what name I feel I want to ask people to refer to me by as my given name is very girly and I almost feel dissociated from it now ???
After lots and lots of making combinations and changing and swapping names about I've decided to go by James Michael (last name) for the time being. (i'm only out to a few people properly in my uni town as of last week (scary!) and they are the only one's I've asked to use this name so far)
From what you can see of me in the pictures..Do you guys reckon it suits me?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi43.tinypic.com%2Fmvg2n7.png&hash=ce3bec259564e48e455a5e976b034be18603f00c)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi43.tinypic.com%2Fxfd8w2.jpg&hash=66c47ec2e2797f8b5d480796fb1e49f6b4c3976f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi44.tinypic.com%2Fxfnp7l.jpg&hash=7915fc9d6bf2d2847670344b375e26fb1db17ddb)
not the best pics but they are all stored higgledy piggledy all around my hard drive! also I'm getting new glasses in a few days!
Also wanting to ask, how did/do you guys go about letting your uni/school class know? I think the time might have arrived that I ask them to refer to me as my male name and pronouns. Very very scared though but havent chatted with someone I'm relatively close with in the class, everyone should be supportive but I dunno, I'm just scared. Also feel huge amounts of shame and guilt because my family don't know just how i'm feeling right now (they know i like my hair short and to wear non-girly clothes now but they don't know why and they just think I'm letting myself go a bit :embarrassed:) I'm living away for university right now btw
This is so very tricky ain't it?
I've been deep in thought for a while now about what name I feel I want to ask people to refer to me by as my given name is very girly and I almost feel dissociated from it now ???
After lots and lots of making combinations and changing and swapping names about I've decided to go by James Michael (last name) for the time being. (i'm only out to a few people properly in my uni town as of last week (scary!) and they are the only one's I've asked to use this name so far)
From what you can see of me in the pictures..Do you guys reckon it suits me?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi43.tinypic.com%2Fmvg2n7.png&hash=ce3bec259564e48e455a5e976b034be18603f00c)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi43.tinypic.com%2Fxfd8w2.jpg&hash=66c47ec2e2797f8b5d480796fb1e49f6b4c3976f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi44.tinypic.com%2Fxfnp7l.jpg&hash=7915fc9d6bf2d2847670344b375e26fb1db17ddb)
not the best pics but they are all stored higgledy piggledy all around my hard drive! also I'm getting new glasses in a few days!
Also wanting to ask, how did/do you guys go about letting your uni/school class know? I think the time might have arrived that I ask them to refer to me as my male name and pronouns. Very very scared though but havent chatted with someone I'm relatively close with in the class, everyone should be supportive but I dunno, I'm just scared. Also feel huge amounts of shame and guilt because my family don't know just how i'm feeling right now (they know i like my hair short and to wear non-girly clothes now but they don't know why and they just think I'm letting myself go a bit :embarrassed:) I'm living away for university right now btw
This is so very tricky ain't it?
Title: Re: Do you reckon this name suits me? (+a bit of other stuff)
Post by: Paul on March 25, 2012, 05:03:56 PM
Post by: Paul on March 25, 2012, 05:03:56 PM
Being as my brother's name is James Michael, I really like the name. I think it fits you well based on pictures, but it's hard to say without knowing your personality/traits to go along with it.
I'm not sure about the Uni part. I came out after I graduated college. I had to come out at work though. I talked to the higher ups first and then the regular staff. There were only like 10 people total that I had to talk to, so for me it wasn't that big of a deal. My suggestion would be to talk to your advisor first and then go from there.
Good luck!
I'm not sure about the Uni part. I came out after I graduated college. I had to come out at work though. I talked to the higher ups first and then the regular staff. There were only like 10 people total that I had to talk to, so for me it wasn't that big of a deal. My suggestion would be to talk to your advisor first and then go from there.
Good luck!
Title: Re: Do you reckon this name suits me? (+a bit of other stuff)
Post by: sonopoly on March 25, 2012, 05:04:39 PM
Post by: sonopoly on March 25, 2012, 05:04:39 PM
I think James Michael suits you very well.
You look male to me.
You look male to me.
Title: Re: Do you reckon this name suits me? (+a bit of other stuff)
Post by: Jam on March 25, 2012, 05:47:52 PM
Post by: Jam on March 25, 2012, 05:47:52 PM
Yep you deffo look like a James to me and Micheal goes well with that
Title: Re: Do you reckon this name suits me? (+a bit of other stuff)
Post by: El Capitan on March 25, 2012, 06:56:42 PM
Post by: El Capitan on March 25, 2012, 06:56:42 PM
Quote from: sonopoly on March 25, 2012, 05:04:39 PM
I think James Michael suits you very well.
You look male to me.
wow thanks, I didn't think those pictures were particularly male looking so cheers v much
Quote from: Paul on March 25, 2012, 05:03:56 PM
Being as my brother's name is James Michael, I really like the name. I think it fits you well based on pictures, but it's hard to say without knowing your personality/traits to go along with it.
I'm not sure about the Uni part. I came out after I graduated college. I had to come out at work though. I talked to the higher ups first and then the regular staff. There were only like 10 people total that I had to talk to, so for me it wasn't that big of a deal. My suggestion would be to talk to your advisor first and then go from there.
Good luck!
thanks mate, my personality is..shall we say..a bit..out there lol. People probably would describe me as odd but hilariously so :embarrassed:
re. talking to my advisor first: I chatted with my personal tutor and mentioned my gender issues and it seems that the staff/ uni should be fine with it and if I went ahead with name changes and stuff and wanted to then they would sort some stuff out for me. It seems to be very much when I want to, they'll go with it but ofcourse people can say one thing then do another:( I'm worried about people's reactions though and ofcourse the guilt I was saying about in the original post makes it even worse :(
thanks for the good luck lol, i'll need it
Quote from: Tom on March 25, 2012, 05:47:52 PM
Yep you deffo look like a James to me and Michael goes well with that
cheers dude, I spent so long going through every combination of every name I could think of that I liked lol but this one seems to ignite something within, y'know?
ofcourse any other views are still most welcome :)
Title: Re: Do you reckon this name suits me? (+a bit of other stuff)
Post by: KamTheMan on March 25, 2012, 09:16:30 PM
Post by: KamTheMan on March 25, 2012, 09:16:30 PM
I think James is a great name, and when I scrolled down to your pic I thought it agreed with you. So nice bro! :) Congrats on making a decision, the name game is driving me crazy right now cause I can't stand going by my girly name, but it's hard to find the right fit. James Michael is a very traditional sounding male name. I dig it.
Title: Re: Do you reckon this name suits me? (+a bit of other stuff)
Post by: go..ogle on March 25, 2012, 11:15:43 PM
Post by: go..ogle on March 25, 2012, 11:15:43 PM
Cool name, James!
As for school: At my university I either tell my professors in the privacy of their office or if they are too busy I will let them know via emal before the course starts.
Make it very simple and to the point. I've used something along the lines of:
I am a student in your Course X. My legal name is X and I ask that you refer to me as X and with male pronouns.
Good luck!
As for school: At my university I either tell my professors in the privacy of their office or if they are too busy I will let them know via emal before the course starts.
Make it very simple and to the point. I've used something along the lines of:
I am a student in your Course X. My legal name is X and I ask that you refer to me as X and with male pronouns.
Good luck!
Title: Re: Do you reckon this name suits me? (+a bit of other stuff)
Post by: Noah James on March 26, 2012, 03:46:25 PM
Post by: Noah James on March 26, 2012, 03:46:25 PM
James is a pretty awesome name, in my opinion. ;D
Title: Re: Do you reckon this name suits me? (+a bit of other stuff)
Post by: Paul on March 26, 2012, 06:05:34 PM
Post by: Paul on March 26, 2012, 06:05:34 PM
Quote from: El Capitan on March 25, 2012, 06:56:42 PM
thanks mate, my personality is..shall we say..a bit..out there lol. People probably would describe me as odd but hilariously so :embarrassed:
re. talking to my advisor first: I chatted with my personal tutor and mentioned my gender issues and it seems that the staff/ uni should be fine with it and if I went ahead with name changes and stuff and wanted to then they would sort some stuff out for me. It seems to be very much when I want to, they'll go with it but ofcourse people can say one thing then do another:( I'm worried about people's reactions though and ofcourse the guilt I was saying about in the original post makes it even worse :(
thanks for the good luck lol, i'll need it
Haha, if that's your personality then I DEFINITELY agree with James Michael. You pretty much described my brother's personality to a T, LOL.
That's awesome that your tutor seemed to be positive. It's hard at first (if it was easy it wouldn't be nearly as worth it), but one step at a time and you'll get to where you want to be. You don't have to come out to everyone all at once. Even maybe just a few and sometimes others just catch on and go with the crowd and for those, you won't even have to say anything.