Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I am hurt...broken....and angry. We have known each other for almost 3 years when she "fell in love" with someone else. She replaced me and is now in a relationship with this girl that she met about 3 months ago. I have nightmares every night now about her and her new partner. I feel like crawling under a rock and dying. She seems so happy in her new relationship...I don't know what to do.

I really did love her...she was my world and meant everything to me....but she left........she left me because she didn't love me anymore and was in love with someone else. I don't know how to get over this intense anger and hurt that I feel. It's so overwhelming at times I just feel like crawling under a rock and dying. She blocked me on fb......and both of them started being really mean to me. The other girl left me this long nasty message and when I refused to read it my ex sent it to me in IM so I would see it there. :(

What can I do to help with this hurt? She use to be so worried I would leave her and replace her. I reassured her time and time again that I wouldn't. But she did it to me. She did to me what she feared I would do to her.

Arrrgh I'm so heart broken......I just wanna cry

It is really normal to feel this way. You obviously loved her a lot. It is going to hurt from some time. There is no way to pretty it up.

All I can say is take care of yourself. Talk to your friends, take time to yourself to really grieve. It is ok to feel devastated.  In time things will get easier.

I think to protect yourself you should try to stay out of contact with them as much as possible. What they are doing is really mean and you don't deserve that. You are still worthy of respect.

I'm sorry to hear how it ended. 

Hugs.

I feel your pain.  My ex gf did similar things like that to me.

Your heart will mend with time.  It takes a while to get over a long term relationship.  In the mean time start thinking about your freedom as a single person.  Do things that make you happy.  Treat yourself.  Hang out with friends, play video games, go out to eat, dance, exercise, anything that will help you take your mind off of it.

I know that it may hurt but perhaps this is a blessing in disguise.  After my gf broke up with me I told myself that I was going to give myself the biggest treat ever.  I was going to raise money to go on an awesome luxurious trip one day but as my transition issues got worse I decided that the trip money was going to be the money I use to transition.  Had she have never broken up with me I would have zero funds saved for it right now. 

Your case will be different more than likely but maybe you can set a goal to something to help distract you while "treating" youself at the same time.  :)  Until then you can just hang out here are watch all of our crazy lives unfold if that makes you feel better. -hugs-  Stay strong.

I can totally relate, I have had something very similar happen to me before...

I wish I could tell you something to make it all better, but i know my trust has been permanently damaged by the situation. At least i did take it as a sign to hurry up and focus on my transition over my relationship, and that is what will make me happy in yhe ling run

Quote from: nicole99 on April 02, 2012, 06:31:03 PM

I think to protect yourself you should try to stay out of contact with them as much as possible. What they are doing is really mean and you don't deserve that. You are still worthy of respect.

Do this. You are hurting, the last thing you need is them rubbing it in your face.
Don't contact your ex at all it will only lead to more hurt. She's not going to say anything nice to you or change her mind if you get in touch so just don't.

Distract yourself as much as possible, hang out with your friends, read books, watch movies. Try to get a new hobby going and set yourself goals.

Most people have been in your situation with regards to someone leaving them, it's a horrible crushing feeling. It feels like there's no way out for a long while but it just needs time. Those feelings will fade and you will be able to get on with your life.

After all just think if no one could truely live after someone they loved had left them, they'd be barely anyone on the planet.

Then cry. Let it out, but be careful not to ruminate. You ruminate when you recycle "mental garbage" in your head (ie all the negative thoughts, what you could have done better) and it's very counter-productive.

Quote from: bballshorty on April 13, 2012, 06:57:52 PM
Then cry. Let it out, but be careful not to ruminate. You ruminate when you recycle "mental garbage" in your head (ie all the negative thoughts, what you could have done better) and it's very counter-productive.

Definitely - agonizing over what went wrong, what could have been done differently, was it her? was it you? All that leads to unanswered questions and unsatisfactory answers.

VoicesOfTheWind as previously mentioned, it may hurt and make you feel lousy, but moving on is the best way forward. She definitely could have handled the situation with more grace and understanding but distance yourself from her and the hurt will eventually diminish.
X

Quote from: VoicesOfTheWind on April 02, 2012, 06:13:03 PM
I am hurt...broken....and angry. We have known each other for almost 3 years when she "fell in love" with someone else. She replaced me and is now in a relationship with this girl that she met about 3 months ago. I have nightmares every night now about her and her new partner. I feel like crawling under a rock and dying. She seems so happy in her new relationship...I don't know what to do.

I really did love her...she was my world and meant everything to me....but she left........she left me because she didn't love me anymore and was in love with someone else. I don't know how to get over this intense anger and hurt that I feel. It's so overwhelming at times I just feel like crawling under a rock and dying. She blocked me on fb......and both of them started being really mean to me. The other girl left me this long nasty message and when I refused to read it my ex sent it to me in IM so I would see it there. :(

What can I do to help with this hurt? She use to be so worried I would leave her and replace her. I reassured her time and time again that I wouldn't. But she did it to me. She did to me what she feared I would do to her.

Arrrgh I'm so heart broken......I just wanna cry

she sounds mean to resend what her new GF sent.. your lucky to be away from her.. it was all one sided .. she was using you and well she will get used by this other one if you let her.. stap back and time will show you just how lucky you were for her to be gone and the other person she seems attracted to sounds really nasty.. ewww be glad.. find good people not users.. they have no real love to give then hrt people because they hate themselves..

Thanks everyone your feedback has been very helpful.

My ex just texted me and hinted to me that her and her current partner just had sex.

I don't know why she felt she had to tell me that...

Lol Immature comment coming up.

But wow, that was a bitc% move of her to do.
Why the heck would she tell you?? v_v

If I was you, I'd write something like,
Awwh what a coincidence, I just did too :D
That's just me though.

Anyways hold on, things will get better. Like some have said;
Things happen for a reason. It's most likely a blessing in disguise.
I really hope you feel better soon!!!!

If you want to cry, go for it, it's what your body wants to do.

Best thing is to block her every way you can, maybe even get a new phone number.  I'll be blunt, and say she sounds like a right b***h, and you are well rid of her.   Doesn't make it hurt any less, I know though.

My ex left me for her best friend after 25 years of marriage, and I certainly didn't see that coming.  It took me quite a few years to get over it due to trying to cope with it as a guy.  I know I would handle it better now I can access my emotions properly.  You already have that advantage for starters.

Grieve, let it all out, have a good cry as often as you need, and you really will start to feel the hurt less.  Let your friends know you need them around too, but that they don't have to do anything other than be there with a hug if needed.

Have a hug from me right now.

Karen.

Quote from: VoicesOfTheWind on April 16, 2012, 08:09:51 PM
Thanks everyone your feedback has been very helpful.

My ex just texted me and hinted to me that her and her current partner just had sex.

I don't know why she felt she had to tell me that...

Text her back and say good because sex with her really did suck anyway

I don't agree with Amazon D. Don't do anything low or mean. Then, at least afterwards you can say, well, she may be a b&%$h but, at least I didn't do anything low or mean.

When I got dumped a few years ago, I held a ceremony in which I wrote on little scraps of paper everything that had been a problem in the relationship, and all the crappy stuff she had done to me, and then I burned them all, one at a time, while chanting and smoking things.

Like, you could write, "sent mean texts about how she had sex with new partner," or "b*&%h blocked me on FB"--You know, stuff like that. Then, say a few powerful and magical words as you burn that so-and-so OUT of your life!

I'm sorry this happened to you, but maybe I should NOT have replied so soon after reading Aunty Cindy's Agony Column!?? Got me thinking a little wacky! ::) I do wish you good luck getting over this, though.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ak-ash3%2F550057_278496735565018_211088098972549_645366_2075485476_n.jpg&hash=366d7425e6890b7461625645e39a10912c3020cb)

Quote from: VoicesOfTheWind on April 16, 2012, 08:09:51 PM
Thanks everyone your feedback has been very helpful.

My ex just texted me and hinted to me that her and her current partner just had sex.

I don't know why she felt she had to tell me that...

Failed long term lesbian relationships is not a new story.  Your ex and her new lesbian lover are just being catty.  Move on.

I would block her number if that's possible.
It sounds like she is being spiteful and doing anything in her power to harass you, therefore making your life miserable.
My ex used to do this to me and it got so ridiculous I went out of my way to make it nearly impossible to contact me any longer.
Of course, for me, it got to the point where some of the text messages were threatening, but still...my point is that this isn't fair to you at all and as long as she thinks that she can "make you care" then she may continue to take advantage of it.

Quote from: Amazon D on April 17, 2012, 08:16:43 AM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ak-ash3%2F550057_278496735565018_211088098972549_645366_2075485476_n.jpg&hash=366d7425e6890b7461625645e39a10912c3020cb)

dude you're hilarious lol