Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I recently got girl clothes. I'm ecstatic and I wear them all the time, I even pass sometimes. However, I feel like I need to wear them all the time. If I don't, I feel like I'm a boy and my disphoria comes back. This doesn't make any sense, seeing how I'm pretty much a girl under my clothes too by this point.

I don't think the problem is that I'm not trans. I really do want to be a girl. But shouldn't I still feel like I'm a chick with my clothes off?

 You may or may not. I know I have my moments where I feel masculine while naked (or in guy clothes on the very rare occasion that I wear them)... but for me, that's mostly due to the fact that my body doesn't appear female to me. Feminine it may be... but I still have a flat chest, bigger shoulders than most girls, and a penis.

The fact that my body upsets me because it looks too masculine for me... is confirmation that I'm female. Painful confirmation.

I don't know if that's similar to what you're feeling, but it's what it is for me.

I don't like to take off my binder for the same reason. It really messes with my head to be so visibly, um, wrong.

Actually... I think I'll amend my statement. I feel more masculine without a shirt on than I do with a guy shirt on.

Sure do wish I had breasts. I'll be able to buy 'em one day...

Quote from: Kelly J. P. on April 05, 2012, 12:59:55 AM
Actually... I think I'll amend my statement. I feel more masculine without a shirt on than I do with a guy shirt on.

Sure do wish I had breasts. I'll be able to buy 'em one day...

I'm sorry.. :{ -hugs-

Quote from: Kelly J. P. on April 05, 2012, 12:59:55 AM
Actually... I think I'll amend my statement. I feel more masculine without a shirt on than I do with a guy shirt on.

Sure do wish I had breasts. I'll be able to buy 'em one day...

You are not alone! I feel the same way :(

I don't think that is unusual. You hear girls all the time saying they felt a bit girly today so they wore a skirt rather than jeans. I'm comfy in just about anything except guy clothes.

I feel like it at times too.  It depends what I am doing as that will determine what I wear.  I generally  prefer a skirt or dress to jeans for that reason.

Strangely I don't feel dysphoric when I am riding my motorcycle, probably because I am wearing a lady's jacket.

Karen.

It's a very common problem most of us share. The upper body ratio being too big compared to lower body ratio is very hard to address let alone all the other problems. After 14 years on HRT my body is starting to level out a little better but you still need to work hard to try and achieve your goal of having a female looking body to match your brain. My main problem is fat around my belly which is horrible and HRT seems to increase the problem rather than re-distribute fat in the right places.

I've been the same way. Especially lately for some reason.

I don't feel like I'm in boy mode but when I look at myself naked in the mirror I do see a masculine body. It's just the harsh reality. The male and female body are quite distinct. Wearing girly clothes and tucking can camouflage it.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on April 05, 2012, 09:24:16 AM
I don't feel like I'm in boy mode but when I look at myself naked in the mirror I do see a masculine body. It's just the harsh reality. The male and female body are quite distinct. Wearing girly clothes and tucking can camouflage it.

You look great in your pic Jen, a nice round female face and looks definitely like the right female fat distribution!

Quote from: JenJen2011 on April 05, 2012, 09:24:16 AM
I don't feel like I'm in boy mode but when I look at myself naked in the mirror I do see a masculine body. It's just the harsh reality. The male and female body are quite distinct. Wearing girly clothes and tucking can camouflage it.

Yep Jen, you are a cutie!! :)

by nature of my business (custom motorcycle painter) I have to dress and be totally in boy mode during the day, after work at home on goes the cuter girlish styles like my low rise "skinny jeans" and a cute top or something...this summer will be very nice when I can just wear cute sundresses around the house in the evenings :)

I know what you mean...small breasts and a broad chest makes me feel a bit manly when I'm not dressed and see myself in the mirror.

I would kill for bigger boobs!

I don't feel necessarily masculine when unclothed, just feel like some sort of freak is all and often enough I don't have to be naked for that feeling.

I, too, don't feel like I'm in "boy mode" or masculine when naked. But, I find that when I seem my reflection it catches me off-guard.

My "identity" transition, to me, is complete at this point. That is to say that I think of myself as Connie even if my legal name is still David. There have been times when I've almost left home without makeup to hide what's left of my beard shadow or without my bra and breastforms. I think of myself as a she. But when I see myself it's like, "Where are my real boobs" and "What is that thing doing there?"

Strangely enough, when I'm showering or shaving, I don't feel this strangeness about my body.

Well, nudity is the state in which you can do the least to aid your passing. And... you don't go around naked outside anyway so what are you gonna do? The point of transition is passing to other people, you're never going to wake up and forget that you're trans.  :D

Quote from: pretty on April 05, 2012, 01:26:54 PM
The point of transition is passing to other people

For some of us the point of transition is to feel comfortable with ourselves.  Once we accept our identity then our true selves shine through and we pass more easily as a side effect.  Please be careful with statement like the above because to some people it sounds "deceitful".  I'm not saying it is, but others can hear that it is about fooling them instead of being true to ourselves.

Quote from: Connie Anne on April 05, 2012, 01:15:07 PM
But, I find that when I seem my reflection it catches me off-guard.

Quote from: Felix on April 05, 2012, 12:39:45 AM
I don't like to take off my binder for the same reason. It really messes with my head to be so visibly, um, wrong.

That part is rarely exposed and I have found that if I do catch a glimpse then it is often a short spiral downward.

Quote from: Jeneva on April 05, 2012, 01:39:12 PM
For some of us the point of transition is to feel comfortable with ourselves.  Once we accept our identity then our true selves shine through and we pass more easily as a side effect.  Please be careful with statement like the above because to some people it sounds "deceitful".  I'm not saying it is, but others can hear that it is about fooling them instead of being true to ourselves.

Sorry, I guess it's a personal difference  :) I already feel comfortable with who I am, I just want to be able to be myself all the time. Of course, I wanna look fabulous without clothes for my bf  :D but otherwise it's not like I am gonna fool myself out of knowing what I started with.

I don't understand about "fooling" people though. I shouldn't look like a guy as far as I'm concerned so passing to people is just showing them a more honest representation of me. I want the world to see me for who I am. That's why I said it's about passing to other people... I don't need to pass to myself, since I already know who I am personally.

Quote from: Jeneva on April 05, 2012, 01:39:12 PM
For some of us the point of transition is to feel comfortable with ourselves.  Once we accept our identity then our true selves shine through and we pass more easily as a side effect.  Please be careful with statement like the above because to some people it sounds "deceitful".  I'm not saying it is, but others can hear that it is about fooling them instead of being true to ourselves.


That part is rarely exposed and I have found that if I do catch a glimpse then it is often a short spiral downward.

When I walk by a mirror or store window I usually just do my  frustrated "sigh" thing and for the next few minutes I'm bummed a bit

Quote from: pretty on April 05, 2012, 01:26:54 PM
Well, nudity is the state in which you can do the least to aid your passing. And... you don't go around naked outside anyway so what are you gonna do? The point of transition is passing to other people, you're never going to wake up and forget that you're trans.  :D

We're not supposed go out and about naked? Damn!

To me, the point of transition isn't so much about passing to others as it is about correcting something that's wrong with my body.

Quote from: Connie Anne on April 05, 2012, 01:54:51 PM
We're not supposed go out and about naked? Damn!

To me, the point of transition isn't so much about passing to others as it is about correcting something that's wrong with my body.

Well said Connie!

and...over the years i have enjoyed many a nude beach or "clothes optional" resort, I have ran into other trans folk at these places also, its not like "nude in public" its feeling the freedom of being nude and there just happens to be like minded people around doing the same thing :)

Baker Beach in San Francisco is the ideal place to lay in the sun nude;)

Quote from: pretty on April 05, 2012, 01:50:36 PM
Sorry, I guess it's a personal difference  :) I already feel comfortable with who I am, I just want to be able to be myself all the time. Of course, I wanna look fabulous without clothes for my bf  :D but otherwise it's not like I am gonna fool myself out of knowing what I started with.

I don't understand about "fooling" people though. I shouldn't look like a guy as far as I'm concerned so passing to people is just showing them a more honest representation of me. I want the world to see me for who I am. That's why I said it's about passing to other people... I don't need to pass to myself, since I already know who I am personally.

Quote from: Connie Anne on April 05, 2012, 01:54:51 PM
To me, the point of transition isn't so much about passing to others as it is about correcting something that's wrong with my body.

Connie got the gist of what I was saying is that we want the mental and physical image of our bodies to match.  There is something wrong I am going to fix.  Even you sort of said this with your fabulous without clothes for your bf.

It isn't about fooling yourself but rather seeing what your mind expects to see.

If I say I need to make my body match my mind then likely I will do things that make me pass better, but the focus is on myself.  If I say I want to look female to them then the focus is on them.  It is harder to say I am "trapping" someone if I am doing stuff for myself because I was the focus.  If they are the focus then they can say that you set out with the intention of fooling them.  It doesn't change what we are doing it just isn't as likely to be misinterpreted.

I have never really "dressed to impress" others or even a hint of 'fooling" but I can totally understand some people doing that...its all in their own state of mind.

Mine is to just make "Me" feel good about myself, and looking like a "girl" like my mind sez I am sure works good for my personal self esteem :)

Quote from: Connie Anne on April 05, 2012, 01:54:51 PM
To me, the point of transition isn't so much about passing to others as it is about correcting something that's wrong with my body.

Yes, but there are a spectrum of problems and your solution may differ from someone elses. For some it is about fitting into a social role and feminising enough to be accepted socially. Some MTFs never worry about what is in their underwear, but passing is a major concern to them.

Quote from: Beverley on April 05, 2012, 02:35:58 PM
Yes, but there are a spectrum of problems and your solution may differ from someone elses. For some it is about fitting into a social role and feminising enough to be accepted socially. Some MTFs never worry about what is in their underwear, but passing is a major concern to them.

Oh, absolutely. It seems to me that there are as many solutions to dysphoria and reasons for transitioning (or not) as there are people who encounter these things.

isnt that the truth!!!

Humans are a very complex creature for sure!!! ;)

Quote from: Kelly J. P. on April 04, 2012, 11:55:55 PM
The fact that my body upsets me because it looks too masculine for me... is confirmation that I'm female. Painful confirmation.

  Ugh I know the feeling and it sucks. Even though I have a half decent body frame it's still not feminine enough and seeing a penis between my legs makes it worse.

  *Shudders*  :icon_sadblinky: